Tired
Sick of gettin drunk, know my times wasted/ a slurred verbal while I hurdle over spurts of anger/ I know something's off feeling lost like the lights are off/ scared to reach out not knowing what's there/ I wanna care about me like others care/ suppressin states of depression I know my vessels tainted/ I can't rewind I can only rebuild what God had made him/ if Gods in me how am I failing/ a new challenge a new day/ I wanna wake up feeling great/ I want the past to be just that/ I just wanna come back/ home to the feeling of love n safety/ I once knew a pure soul but the world has changed me/ don't know if I let it happen or never had a choice/ guess it doesn't matter, my actions are my own/ and fuck pointing fingers I'm grown/ if it indeed is the devil than that mafuka workin/ and I been fallin victim entertaining all his service/ how can I get better if I'm steady consuming poison/ letting all the noise in the voices/ the chaos and bad choices/ my son always tells me 'no more daddy' for no reason/ or just maybe I'm not seein' what he's seein'/ either way today I've made a decision/ and that's to stop killin myself and start livin/ I'm good, no thank you..