#myprivate

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[homeistheocean]

Things to do to better your life:

go to bed at a regular time & wake at the same time

give yourself 'wind down time' put away your clothes which are currently on the floor, cleans & moisturise your face and body, light some candles, make some herbal tea and get into bed and read. This routine gets you ready for sleep

sleep with your curtain slightly open to wake up to natural light

In your "wind down time" jot down things you didn't get done that day and add them to tomorrows "to do list" also put your phone/technological devises onto 'do not disturb'

have a brief idea of things you want to achieve each day.

exercise each day- even a short walk in the sunshine

breathe in the cold morning air

drink your daily required water intake- believe me it does wonders

love , laugh & live in the moment - always

[theonlywayisshanghai-blog-b-blog]

We can all learn from this. Wherever in the world we are. #enjoy #myprivate moment.

[homeistheocean]

16887.985 kilometres separate my Bestfriend and I, from Paris to Melbourne.

Along with 519 days since we last saw each other in person.

Yet we have been there for each other through, relationship break ups, exams, illnesses, stress, tears & laughter.

I remember the last day I saw her, I stood outside the restaurant with tears in my eyes as we hugged we both promised to stay as close as we were at the moment. But there was a part of me that was scared life would become so busy and we would slowly drift apart. Like when a friend moves school, makes new friends, goes on to new adventures and slowly the metaphorical distance between you two grows to far and they become a memory of your past.

Yet 519 days later our friendship is still as strong if not stronger than it was on that night I said my goodbyes.

We take time out of each and every day to message each other, to talk about our days, our dreams and our lives. It's now easier than ever to contact someone but we both make the effort to hand write letters and post them to each other, to send parcels of little gifts and postcards from holiday destinations. 

It's the little aspects about this friendship that I hold to dear and close to my heart.

And now with only 75 days remaining till I fly out to Paris, my world fills with excitement and warmth as I picture myself walking through the International Arrival Doors to see my Bestfriend's face.

- I miss you Laura Joãnie Pereira (thewildsoul)

[homeistheocean]

im glad i re-read my essay today, it made me stronger 

“We all belong to a time and place, and these are the most important influences on how we see the world”

 You grow up and get to a certain age when you realise that not all your problems can be solved by mum and dad, that sometimes, things just happen. You know that one day you will face adversity, hard times will come, but you would have experienced enough of life to be able to deal with whatever you face. You don’t expect your whole world to fall apart at age13, that what I thought anyway.

 I lost myself, not in terms of me passing and going on to that other “place” that is said to be out there. I lost my identity, everything that I considered to define myself. I was the girl from the netball team, the cross-country team, swimming team, and then all of a sudden, I seemed to be known as “the sick girl”.  All the “how did your race go?” turned into “how are you feeling, how’s it all going?” 

At 13 I was forced to miss my teenage years; to not go to parties, out with friends, late night sleepovers, school camps, movie dates, school balls, adventures in the city. I lost contact with most friends and spent many days alone, in my room, in the dark, just waiting for someone to come home, to sit with me and tell me about their day so that I could restore that connection with the outside world. Morning after morning I woke up wondering how it was possible that I was still alive, considering my inability to move through complete exhaustion.  My days consisted of hours laying on the couch with ‘Oprah’, ‘Doctor Phill’, the cast of ‘Days Of Our Lives’, and numerous other movie stars.

The days when I was “well” consisted of fake smiles, pain and complete exhaustion, connecting with people who had no idea what I was going through, pretending that I was coping, that I was strong, that I was progressing, moving forward, making my way back to health. When in fact only the ones that knew me well, knew that I was falling rapidly further into the big black hole that each day consumed more and more of the little life I had left.

 Loosing what felt like my entire identity was what I describe as someone pulling the plug in a bath. All the water was everything that defined me, and then away it went, sucked down the drain, and you’re left sitting there watching your life being sucked away.  Everything you were for 13 years… gone. You wonder why it all happened, you need to be given answers to why it was you, why not that girl who passed you in the street? Why you?

Going through hardship, no matter what it may be, can be isolating, terrifying, heartbreaking and at times soul destroying. It’s like being stuck in a glass box, everyone can view from the outside and picture what it must be like to be stuck inside, but no one can truly know what it is like to be inside, to go through that pain and sickness day after day, week after week, and year after year. The isolation of not being understood was the hardest part, the inability to describe what you are going through without people smothering you in pity. So instead, to avoid the pity, you would fake a smile, say you were doing fine and asked them how they were doing to avoid further questioning about yourself.

There were many days where I wondered what the meaning behind all this was, and as time went on I realised it doesn’t matter why it happened to you, or how, it only matters what you choose to do with the situation you face. Choosing to look for answers that are not there is hindering you from digging yourself out of the big black hole; you’re the only one holding yourself back.  I realised that what I did, didn’t define who I was, it was who I was, that in fact did.

During my hardest days, I felt as though there was no meaning for them, they had no purpose, they brought no joy.  Now as I look back on those many days I spent depressed, sick and in the dark I realised they were the days that strengthened me, that made me realise just how strong I could be if I had to. I learnt my most prized lessons about life from those days. Nothing easy ever teaches you anything great. The people I have met through this difficult time is what makes me realise that there is reasoning behind heartache, it is in fact only there to make you a greater person. I have become a more understanding; compassionate, knowledgeable and stronger person because of every hard day I have struggled through. This journey has allows me to view life in such a different light. I find positiveness amongst darkness, I take every day as a blessing, and I find meaning in everything and feel inspired to make something great of my life.

I have found that the greatest thing about your life falling apart, is that you have the ability to rebuild it the way you want it to be, to shape your life into something far more meaningful than it ever would have been. The ability to make good of such harsh times, comes from your choice to pick the good out of the bad, instead of surrendering to your adversity by merely just focusing on the bad. As much as it has caused many tears, pain and heartache, it has made me the person I am today and as I reflect on the person I am, I am proud of myself, proud of my family, proud of the teachers and friends that got me to where I am today.

[homeistheocean]

long over due post 

MUM

these past few years, you have been my rock, my pillar of support.

all the hospitals, medical appointments, endless emails and letters.

your the one person who juggles half a million things and will always add more to help your kids.

your strong, funny, loving, gentle, kind, driven, determined and amazing.

all the times you would get up in the middle of the night to be with me when i couldn't sleep or was in pain.

the count-less times you would drive in your lunch break to pick me up from school.

mum, there is no doubt i wouldn't have made it through the past few years without you, you've been my light when my world felt so dark, you've been my strength when i felt i was falling apart. You are the best mother, one day i hope i can be like you.

DAD

what can i say dad, I'm a daddy's girl!

you would always do anything to see me smile

whether that would be you making a fool out of yourself to get a laugh out of me

randomly buying me flowers and chocolate cake when i am sick

taking me out for lunch or just for a drive.

you missed so much of our childhood to provide the life we have

but nothing beats that feeling of being a little girl

running down the airport terminal,  and jumping into your arms

after weeks of not seeing you.

or when you would come home from international work

and take us out of school for the day and have 

"daddy's day" where we would go shopping and for that day

anything we liked you'd buy us, or we go mini-golfing

or out in the boat.

you are selfless, you put all of us before you

you love so greatly, and give the best advise and cuddles.

i love how you can see the tears well up in your eyes when you talk about how proud you are of me and han.

your simply amazing, and i love you.

SIS

you have been my bestfriend and big sister from day dot

even on the video of me coming home from the hospital

you would sit next to the car seat and say 

"my baby sis, i love you"

we have always been so close,

i look up to you, your confidence

inner and outer beauty, strength, smartness

dertermination and funniness.

you are always there when i need someone

i still remember the days when i was really sick

and you would go shopping and buy things you thought i would like

because you knew i was to sick to go out.

when you'd come into my room, turn up the music

and we would dance around in our undies just laughing

when we would talk all night from room to room

talking about everything and anything and laughing uncontrollably.

you are my bestfriend, my sister & my world

i will love and protect you like you have for me

to the day i die.