#mysecretbs

[mysecretfanmoments]

Never thought I'd do this BUT

Here we are!! We live in a society where publishers brazenly advertise new books as HP ships just to boost sales, never mind the harm being done by the IP's author, and my old reservations about linking this anonymous identity to my public-facing self are pretty much gone. I always wished I could share my original writing with people who ask me about it here, but I was afraid of being targeted for the sins of my past (whatever they happened to be) and didn't think I could take it. That could still happen and I'm sure I'll hate it if so but I also think it would be such a bad use of someone's time it would circle back around to being funny.

So: if you like my work, or just enjoy following me in places, please check out my author instagram or (not active but I keep meaning to use it for stupid little things) bluesky! Nothing of mine has been published, but I have an agent and am working on it. I'd be honored to have your attention! Please interact lots and spot the frogs in my pond every Friday. I'm sure that will make editors open my agent's emails. (Jk... unless?) This week I posted beautiful art @silencedmoment did for my f/f esports romance in a reader's guide and next week I will be posting an amazing trailer @esselley made through god-tier footage finding skills and video wizardry. Please look forward to it!

[forcefingeys]

rewatching tlj with my husband

rey: you're a monster

kylo: yes, I am

camera: focuses on rey

my husband: you know what she is?

me: what?

my husband: a monster fucker

[mysecretfanmoments]

Hey! Just wanted to say i love your fics and your words and i would read literally anything written by you even if it's not from the fandom im in. Speaking of, if you have published works(non fanfic?) written by you i would love to read them too, or the ones to be published in the future, it would be nice if you could let know when you publish?:))

Thank you so much! I'm definitely trying to publish (had an agent... lost an agent... looking for an agent again) but it's slow going and I've had no luck so far. I've always been worried about connecting my online identity to my professional one since you hear about authors being harassed for problematic stuff they've written, but times are changing re: how fanfic is perceived by the public and I really would like to be able to share if anything happens—mostly because of nice people like you who are rooting for me and would (hopefully) enjoy my original work. I've also played with the idea of self-publishing shorter form stuff under a pseudonym. I'll try to let you know if I land on anything or if anything happens. In the meantime I'm extremely grateful for your enthusiasm!

[mysecretfanmoments]

Will you be finishing your Star Wars fic on AO3? It truly has been enjoyed by so many people. Especially those of us still salty about how the sequel trilogy ended.

Hey! Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. I'm definitely one of the salty people! Unfortunately the conclusion—which I'd hoped would enliven me to finish—sort of sucked all the wind out of my sails. The Last Jedi made me think I loved Star Wars for a few years but now I think I might just love Rian Johnson movies. That's not really to blame the conclusion for my unfinished fic... I just should never ever start multichapters while burning for something because eventually I run out of steam, and I hate disappointing people.

I don't think I'll ever finish Nemesis, or my two other unfinished multichapters for different fandoms. I'm really sorry about this. If it helps any I have an unfinished reylo beach volleyball AU (lol) that I have spared you from by not posting chapter one of the twoshot before it was finished. SO I HAVE RESTRAINT SOMETIMES... just not all the time.

So: no, unless something strange and wonderful happens. I'd love to have the time and energy for this, but it seems incredibly unlikely T_T Please love yourself and read other, better fics. Or imagine the ending you want! You deserve the SW conclusion of your dreams.

[mysecretfanmoments]

hi!! how are you?

Hello!! I've been scrolling through asks—mostly nice ones about fics and my writing—wondering how to answer them! Ever since I became aware I'd accumulated a lot of unanswered asks I've felt bad about not replying, but the longer you go saying nothing the harder it becomes to say something, since a pithy "thank you that's very nice" doesn't feel worth the wait... Tumblr doesn't help by not having timestamps, so I have no idea how late to the party I am. Which is to say, thank you for asking! Haha.

I'm doing pretty well, persistent world politics dread notwithstanding. For the past few years I've been focused on original writing, and it's going a lot better than it used to for lots of different reasons. How I felt while writing fic is a good guide for me; I used to write original like it was my cross to bear, and I had to learn to have fun with it instead. I still struggle to find that balance a bit, but I have lots of support from the people around me... many of whom I met right here!

Despite squirreling away some of my favourite people to live in my group chats and heart forever, I definitely miss being active in fandom. I miss you guys! I loved seeing all the creativity and feeling like part of a community. I had an amazing time while active. I think the "you ship/write/enjoy X so you must [deeply personal judgment]" attitude has become a bit too dominant for me to find the same outlet I once did, but mostly it just got easier to be myself privately. I'm naturally low energy... I need to conserve that little bit I have for actually doing stuff instead of wondering whether what I like makes me a bad person.

So that's where I'm at! I've been loving KJ Charles books (fave so far = The Gentle Art of Fortune Hunting) and I space them out with other books so I won't run out too quickly. Mr. Fanmoments and our feline child are both doing well. c: Hope this overly long reply finds you and everyone reading well too!

[mysecretfanmoments]

woud you object to someone commissioning art from one of your fics as long as you are given credit?

Absolutely not! I’d love to see that too. 😄

[mysecretfanmoments]

can i draw fanart of your fics?

Yes of course!! I love seeing fanart of my fics. 😍

[mysecretfanmoments]

just saw your last ask and it made me remember that time you wrote a short and "super angsty" snippet about lactose intolerant kageyama :D

HAHAHA oh my goodness, you have a long memory... I found it. My best work!!