Jan 27, 2019
#vfw #setinstone #bestgirl #mysheila (at Powellville, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtI9MlzhAQzb_Tf-7zEKsix8u-0fziJQGYJt-Y0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=108earfj87avp
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from China
seen from Switzerland
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Belgium
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Maldives
seen from Switzerland
seen from Guinea
seen from T1
seen from Sweden
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Australia
seen from United Kingdom
#vfw #setinstone #bestgirl #mysheila (at Powellville, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtI9MlzhAQzb_Tf-7zEKsix8u-0fziJQGYJt-Y0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=108earfj87avp
Happy Mother’s Day Sheila First Mother’s Day I didn’t call you I miss your voice so much I love you #mothersday #missmyrock #mysheila #foe💉
Grief never ends, but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love
Hearing you being referred to as a “victim”was one of the toughest things.
You would be so proud of all of us! Claire graduated grade 8, Andrew is starting the PRN program, and I am starting the RN program!
I just picture you looking down on us, smiling, and walking with us through these new paths in life. I am so lucky to have an angel to watch over me and to love me as much as you do.
I have realized from losing you that life is too short to be worried about little things, and things that don’t matter. I used to be afraid of not having the money for school, and being in debt. Although those are relevant fears, they aren’t going to stop me from attending school. Dealing with losing you has made me rethink my life. I am excited to live my life for me, you made me realize that with all the success you had in life. But losing you, that made me realize to live my life young and free, because you never know what tomorrow brings.
I miss you, and I love you so much
July 5, 2015
My birthday wish
My wish when I blow out my candles tomorrow is not going to be to spend one last day with you, to hear your voice, see you smile, feel your touch. Why would it be? That is so unrealistic.
No. My wish tomorrow when I blow out my candles, is:
I wish for you to be happy. I wish for you not to miss us. I wish for you to be safe. I wish for you to be loved. To smile down on us, to protect us, to love us unconditionally. I wish for you to be to most proud mother, sister, daughter, and aunt you ever could be while you watch us travel through our lives.
I think to myself every day "if only I had one more day”, but why? Because that will never happen.It is more important, for you to be safe, and to feel loved. That’s my wish.
My wish is for my Aunt Sheila to be okay.
I love you. I miss you every day.
June 23, 2015
June 8, 2015
Everyday starts the same and everyday pretty much ends the same.
It starts by waking up expecting to have you on my mind. But most of the time I don’t. It’s not until half way through the day I remember, I remember you are gone, and I remember you are never coming back. I remember the nightmare I woke up to that day, I remember the pain that pierced through my heart, I remember dropping to the ground screaming, crying.
Each day I wake up as if my life is normal, as if nothing every happened. I wake up not thinking about losing you. It isn’t until I remember the guilt sets in, and I hate that guilt.
I feel guilty that it take me half a day to remember you are gone. I feel guilty that you aren’t the first thing I think of when I wake up. Is that bad? Should you be the first thing I think about? To me, it was normal to not see or talk to you often. Although we were very close and we loved each other very much, it was normal to be distant. The guilt turns into a sadness, a disappointment in myself. A list of “I wish” and “I should have” starts in my head. I should have taken the time to text or call you more often, I wish most of the times that I did text you were for you, and not to see if Andrew was home. I should have come to visit more, I wish my life wasn’t so busy. I should know that, that’s no excuse to not see family. I wish I got to hear your voice, see your smile, laugh with you, cry with you, just be with you one more time. I would give many things to change our relationship, to make it stronger. I love you so very much, and I know you love me. We might have been distant, but we were still incredibly close. I will always carry you in my heart. I will always remember our times together, and share my memories. And everyday ends the same, missing you more than anyone could ever know. I miss you. I love you. I can’t wait to see you again one day.
It’s been a long day, without you my friend. And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.
I still don’t understand, I don’t expect myself to.