Today we are imagining one of those soul mate AUs where you see in black in white until you meet your soul mate, then you see in color.
I imagine Elias and Peter having a meet ugly and not even realizing that they can see in color now because they're too busy yelling at each other. And probably don't even notice till they've stormed away from each other.
Apologies for taking so long to reply, know anon that i love every lil fic idea you give me and that i want to make them a long fic too. So i keep them saved up. But!!! This one was fun and i love horrible meet cutes, so-! You get a shot lil fic for your patience and ideas!! Im sorry if i take long or it seems im not reading them. Trust me i do and i am delighted every time i read your asks!
Elias was used to the world in shades of gray, occasionally if he feels particularly curious, he uses beholding to watch from the perspective of someone who found their soulmate, just to see what its supposed to look like.
Some days he is a bit bitter, about his inability to see the world for what it is, but the lack of a soulmate doesn't really upset him. It just frustrates him that his ability to perceive the world depends on him meeting some random person who won't ever be more than just an annoyance to his plans and whom Elias will ultimately outlive.
Making the time where he will see in color just temporarily. Frustrating, he knows.
So it's funny how he, who grew used to seeing the world like that, doesn't notice how it slowly fills in, how Elias who tries to be as perceptive as possible cannot possibly realize that the room around him starts to get more and more colorful until its a glaring hole in his awareness.
No, Elias doesn't notice any of it, because he is too busy yelling at Peter Lukas to care about his walls going from light gray to a soft green, he is too busy complaining and cursing this sorry excuse of a Lukas to notice how Peter’s eyes turn a soft light blue, or how his dark gray coat was in fact navy, or how everything turns into beautiful shades that he only ever saw in someone else's eyes.
Its not until Peter goes into a puff of fog that Elias sits down and stares at his desk.
His very dark brown desk.
“Oh you have got to be kidding me-”
..
..
Peter was happy to only see the world in shades of gray, it meant he didnt have something as stupid and foolish as a soulmate. He wasn't meant to, that's the point, its why he tried to meet as few people as possible, he dreaded the idea of ever finding the person who would spark up the world into color for him. Allegedly of course, for all he knows everyone is into some sort of long con and they are all coloblind and like to pretend there is such things as color.
Anyways, it would be reasonable to say that Peter would realize immediately that his world view changed so radically, considering his aversion.
But unfortunately, he doesn't, because he is too busy being told off by a short and bossy little man who should know better. Peter is too focused on Elias' face and more specifically his eyes to see anything else.
Because the world may change colors around him, but Elias' eyes remain the same shade of gray through all of it. The only familiar thing he can focus on.
And if he thinks for a moment that he looks anything remotely handsome, or that his eyes are rather striking then Peter is just losing his wits and should go back to the Tundra to spend the next ten months thinking about how stupid that was.
Peter finally leaves but only because he takes his eyes from Elias and realizes with a painful twist in his gut, that through his tunnel vision he ignored the obvious change of scenery. Colors and shades that he has no name for assault his vision. Peter needs to go, so he uses the lonely, getting the last word in and panicking alone on his beach.
Thankfully forsaken seems to dull color, as nothing there is as bright as it was outside.
“Oh for fucks sakes, out of everyone in the world it had to be him?”
And even though neither of them were happy about the development at first and would in fact hate it, they did eventually get drawn to each other and if neither acknowledged that the other could see color because of them then that's their own issue.
Peter likes yellow, likes how cheerful it is and how some shades just make people infuriated, he also likes…Elias blond hair, that was perhaps the second color he saw and the one that caught his eye.
Elias loves green, always has since the first time he used beholding to watch through a couple eyes in the park. But, he will admit he is fond of navy as well, that maybe light blue is also pretty especially if its in the eyes of an annoying sailor.
I have a new dumb hc to offer you. What if Elias loves all the worst food trends of the last hundred years? He loves charcoal ice, the unicorn frappe, bone marrow toast. His favorite being those meat jello molds of the 50s. He always brings one to institute party’s because he wants it to come back! Poor Peter is forced to deal with it. He hates that Elias always wants to try trendy stunt food.
I love this so much! Like yes i can totally see Elias loving food trends from before, and forcing others to eat them with him too! Like Peter would be never ending suffering at home because Elias just wants some weird old fashioned food that could possibly leave you sick.
As for Elias, i offer you this. He misses all of those food trends terribly so, but every time he jumps bodies his newer one cannot eat what he used to like because their taste buds are different. So this man is just sitting there seething internally because the food he used to like doesn taste the same and its driving him insane.
Not only that!!! But some things dont taste the same because the ingredients are also different so he is just sitting there moresely tasting his wird old timey food and when Peter asks he says it tastes different and Peter is just like bruh-
DHGFDK, everyone at the instittue is utterly terrified of what he may bring the next time, they are just compltely baffled and have no idea if he is torturing them or if Elias is just doing some sort of long bit, that he is refusing to divulge to anyone.
So far the poor souls who have tasted his food have all just gotten rid of it. Jon is surprising resiliant to the food, albeit he doesnt necesarily like it.
Also since i like the idea that Peter is the one who cooks most of the time, the concept of Elias getting a recipe and just giving it to his husband and telling him to do it for him is hilarious. Like Peter watches the paper, looks at Elias, looks at the ingredients and he just tries to peace out via the lonely.
"Elias this is just disgusting"
"Oh hush, you should try it before you complain!!" And its like they sit in front of each other, Peter looking utterly morose about what he just made and Elias excited about the prospect of eating something familiar and when they both try it. Peter who looks disgusted and Elias who looks dissapointed.
"Did you use the right measurements for this? It doesnt taste like i remember"
Peter is trying to not gag at the taste, his reply simply that Elias has no idea what taste even is like.
Honestly i love the headcanon of Elias loving old timey food and trying to get people around him to enjoy it as well. Its just delighful, this man is 200 years old and he has the memory of desert he ate like 120 years ago ingrained in his brain, but he cannot replicate it and his body simply doesnt like the taste. Just peak comedy.
Thank you so much for the headcanon its delightful!!! I love it so much and im sorry for taking so long to reply! Just know that i enjoyed it very much and would love to hear more headcanons.
Enjoy some lonelyeyes reincarnation au in a coffee shop.
Peter works.
Its not something that particularly bothers him much. His sister laughs and jokes around with him, while moving around serving her orders.
Their cafe is small and cozy but also sort of lonely, they have the oddest shifts imaginable, mostly working the graveyard shift.
Peter cooks the pastries while Judith and Aaron take the orders and serve the food. Clara has her music show on fridays and Lydia works at the art gallery but spends most of her time helping around as well.
The five of them are happy.
Simon was happy to help them pay for the Tundra Cafe. He hums under his breath while Judy sings along, there weren't that many people so they could do it without shame.
He is content.
…
At least he thinks he is. And honestly why shouldn't he? He has a good job, he has a good relationship with all his siblings, his adoptive dad loved them unconditionally.
By all means he should be nothing but happy.
And yet.
He feels… as if something was missing.
It was like an itch that he could not get over with.
It probably started back when he got a crush in one of his college professors that he realized-
That he really was missing something important.
Mister Wright was older than him sure, but he was handsome and Peter wasn't one to care much about age. However, the few times they spoke it was-
It was like there was something not right, it soured him somehow, but perhaps it was for the best, the man was married and he just had a stupid silly crush. It still did not take away the fact that he felt as if there was something off with him too.
He thinks his eyes should be a clearer grey than they were.
The next time he realized something was off was when he met Elias Bouchard.
Again it was embarrassing how quickly he seemed to get a crush on him, he just saw him a few times and his mind got stuck on his face. He was handsome and this time he was around his age. They had a few classes together so despite his anxiety he actually spoke with him.
And it was….
Dull.
He was dull as a wall. It did not lead up to anything else, beyond a few greetings later on, but it stayed on his mind.
Any other attempt at dating or going out turned out badly for him and its not as if he didn't try! It just was never… right.
Clara said that if he kept looking for the perfect person he would die alone and miserable. Lydia hits her and tells him that its ok, sometimes people don't click, he just needs to find someone who gets him.
He tries, but between his social anxiety, personality and perhaps his lack of interest in sex during the best of times, people are more or less put off with him. His sisters and brother are all offended on his behalf but Peter has resigned himself to not think too much about it.
Maybe he is like Lydia and he is better off alone.
That makes all of them look at him with tight faces and he blinks confusedly at them.
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing, just, you have us and dad Peter you're not alone” Judy holds his hand and Aaron nods.
“I- i know, i just meant like relationship wise, maybe i just have to be alone. I know I have all of you. We live in the same building block. I don't think we could be alone if we wanted” That makes them all sort of laugh and the tension breaks.
His siblings talk and joke and he ponders.
He wonders why sometimes they all act weird with him when he speaks about being alone. Why his adoptive dad always made sure to let them know he loved them. Simon was fun and took care of them, but it always felt as if he wasn't saying something.
However he sees his family be happy around him and he ignores that feeling of wrong that always permeates around him. He won't dampen their happiness with his own pessimistic thoughts and paranoia.
So yes, Peter bakes, makes models of ships on his free time, takes pictures a lot-
He found out he enjoyed keeping pictures of things he liked, plus taking odd ones of his siblings. It was just… harmless fun, more often than not he went to the port to take pictures of the ships. He wondered how it would feel to have his own.
Still that's a dream for someone else.
Peter Fairchild is happy with the quaint little life he has.
It stands to reason that his life would be upturned on a Tuesday, Peter has a personal hate towards that day of the week and it makes sense that this happened then.
Aaron was running late, he had to help a friend move out and it took longer than expected, the cafe opened earlier than usual and there were a lot of people. Judith could not take all the orders on her own, and their sisters would not be able to help at least for another hour. So with a sigh and discomfort he goes to take orders.
They work faster like that at least.
Its when he asks about the order of some guy working on his laptop that he gets hit with something familiar.
“One black coffee and a chocolate croissant” The order rings alarm bells on his head so he looks to the face of the owner.
A man with curly auburn hair, red glasses and freckles gives him a practiced strained smile that he sees in more clients, but what actually makes him almost drop the paper he was writing on was the eyes, they were such a cool shade of grey.
He flounders and the man raises an eyebrow impatiently, so he writes quickly and goes back to get order. She gives him a puzzled look since she is usually the one taking them to the customers, but Peter shakes his head and works.
His hands move on autopilot to make the coffee, and even if he says black he puts just the right amount of milk and sugar that his mind provides.
Picking up one of the freshly made croissants and after hesitating a chocolate chip cookie he goes and gives it to the man quietly and without a word. That done and his sweaty palms and his heart going faster he goes to hide in the kitchen, expecting to get yelled at for messing up the order-
But nothing happens.
Judith comes to check on him, but Peter was at that point just cleaning up a little bit and waves her away. Nodding she hesitates and hugs him a little bit before going out. He lets out a breath and sighs.
Lydia and Clara come 10 minutes later and he can stay cooped out in the kitchen in peace. Still he can't help but to be nervous about the customer he gave the coffee and cookie.
Why did he change his order? It was insignificant but it just sounded right. Fretting a little he finishes cleaning the plates. Nothing else comes about and by the time they close the man is gone.
The feeling of loss becomes stronger.
He doesn't see him again for at least another 3 weeks, in fact the only reason he realizes is because Clara says there is a sour red head giving her and Judith the stink eye every time they try to get his order. His lips twitch upwards and he suggests sending Aaron, she rolls her eyes but asks the younger boy to go.
Its not five minutes later that he comes back just as perplexed.
“Is he trying to just get the wifi for free? I'm going to kick him off” Peter dries his hands and quietly prepares the order. Once he is done he sneaks out and delivers it to him, the man gives him a critical look that sends shivers down his spine. Both in disgust and familiarity.
“I didn't order yet”
“... Well you didn't let anyone take your order anyways” His lips purse in thought and he picks up the drink taking a sip. He puts the rest of his things down and goes to turn around to leave, when he asks how did he know how he takes his coffee.
Peter doesn't have a clue.
“You just looked like you needed something less bitter” He sees his mouth fall open slightly and Peter goes while feeling his ears burn, oh god why did he say that?
Once back in the safety of the kitchen, Judy gives him a look but pats his shoulder and goes out.
Ok, ok, he is fine.
The man keeps coming and refuses to let any of his siblings pick out his orders. So Peter is the one in charge to talk with him. Albeit that is an understatement. They merely snark a little, he gives him his order and goes. Whoever is working that day is supposed to charge him, Peter is only obligated to present the food. However the interesting thing is, that just as their cafe opens at weird hours of the day, the man appears there just as well, its kind of eerie how well he seems to know when it's open considering they have the oddest schedules.
Its in fact in one of those times they work at night that he sees him again. Usually he is very put together, but this time he looked… well messy. His hair looked as he had run his hands through it several times, his eyes were red and puffy and he honestly looked miserable.
Peter was completely baffled, the worst part is he wasn't sure what to do, or if he should say something.
The place was almost empty, his sister was keeping watch, so he just stands there and asks what he wanted that night.
He looks up to him and Peter has that feeling that this man should not be looking like this, he should be smug or sure of himself not… whatever this was. He also wanted to pull him towards him and that thought made his cheeks heat up.
“Just- heh, just surprise me i guess. Its been… its been one of those days” He is not sure what he means, but he nods and goes to make him something. Most of the names of the drinks and desserts were Lydia's ideas, the rest of his siblings alongside him were terrible at picking names. He is surprised they even let him pick the one of the cafe, but considering the other options, it was the least weird one.
Still they do have some that they chose for the orders.
Case in point.
The chocolate tower cake lovingly named the panopticon and his special coffee the watcher. It was named like that when it was proven that it had so much caffeine that it made you unable to sleep. He is sure he saw a guy stop blinking for like five minutes after insisting on drinking it, despite the warnings.
So once he grabs it, he takes it to the table and warns him.
“We are not responsible for the repercussions of drinking the watcher” The man looks at him and for the first time since he started to come he sees him smile, soon it turns into laughter. Peter watches while clutching the tray and feeling butterflies in his stomach.
He has a lovely laugh.
“What- what is so funny?”
“You- i- it doesn't matter. I get the name now I suppose. The cake?” The small chocolate tower had several fillings and it was very spongy and full of chocolate.
“Mm the panopticon is the best cake we have, surprised you didn't try it before little man” The slip up comes and he freezes expecting the man to say something or get annoyed, but all he does is sigh and smile more sadly at him.
“Thank you” Its weird and he is unsure what happened but he smiles back awkwardly.
He doesn't come back for 2 weeks.
Its raining when he sees him again.
It was Lydia and him and the place only had two clients sitting around drinking and talking amicably. He doesn't pay attention to the little whistle that lets them know someone entered, Simon thought it would be more fun than a bell.
Still his older sisters comes inside looking-
Frazzled?
Lydia is the most calm out of all of them so he immediately goes to see if she is fine, instead she shakes her head and points inside the cafe.
When he looks he sees the man, but he also realizes he has an awful bruise on his eye and chin as if someone had punched him. His heart sort of seizes and his sister goes out with him.
“Are you-”
“I want another watcher and panopticon” He doesn't let him finish, he is sitting close to the register. The man looks even more tired and wiped out.
“... I will get it?” Lydia elbows him. “Do you- do you want some ice for your face?” He can feel his sister disappointment and need to hit her forehead, but he honestly doesn't know what to say. The man, and he really needs to get a name, nods, so Peter prepares the order and gets some ice wrapped up for him.
“Thank you”
“You are welcome um..-?” He drifts and the man looks at him with one eye squinting due to the swelling.
“Jonah. In Jonah Magnus” He seems to be expecting something, yet Peter just nods.
“Peter Fairchild pleasure to meet you?” Lydia is giving him looks. Jonah seems to deflate, but smiles a little, albeit is tainted by the grimace of pain.
“Now that we have names can i eat?” He scowls but nods and lets him be. Still he checks on him from time to time and everytime he peeks from the kitchen window he sees him staring back at him. Peter blushes and works.
He leaves and he is left with questions.
Lydia acts very oddly and concerned about him and the man, but he waves her off.
Jonah comes back, still with the bruises but he looks more calm.
“I wanted to apologize for the scare, I had an altercation with… a friend. That went poorly as you can see” Peter nods and gives him his cookies.
“So- um.. I was wondering if perhaps as a… you know, treat for being so nice, you would like to go out to eat? Or well i was going to suggest getting some coffee but i think you might already be tired of it by now” It takes him a few seconds to realize he is asking him out. When he does he chokes on air and after thinking it a little he nods.
He sees Jonah smile become more real and realizes he was concerned he would say no. He also sees his cheeks start to slowly become more pink the more he stares. So he looks elsewhere and says they can pick a date later. Jonah nods, grabs the writing pad from his hands brushing their fingers and puts up a number.
“So we can arrange it more easily” Peter nods and laughs nervously while walking away. He feels them tingle pleasantly.
“YOU HAVE A DATE!!”
“With the weirdo Ju, i'm sure Peter can do better than him-”
“Cla don't be mean, plus he said yes so he is interested-!”
“That he is interested doesnt mean its good for him Aaron!”
“Don't be so sour-”
Lydia sits with him and they just watch TV calmly while the others talk in the kitchen making dinner. It was Saturday so they were having it in her apartment.
“Do you think it will make you happy?” The question is too particular, but his sister is always like that so he nods.
“It feels… right, more real than anything i suppose, i know its weird but i just…” He just sometimes feels as if he is sort of existing in some sort of empty space and that everything is his imagination.
Life is good. He has siblings that love him, a dad that cares for all of them instead of their original family that was terrible.
Peter has a job-
Life is perfect.
And yet-
This man is more real than anything else.
Like a splash of color in his grayscale world, he is infuriating with his answers when they have small talks at the cafe, but the banter is familiar, it gives him an ache that doesn't understand.
The same ache he thinks he got when he met James and Elias, only this time its because its right. Jonah is right. He is put out of his musings by a hand on his arm.
“I get it Peter… i really do. As long as you are happy its fine. Just… just know that we love you ok? Don't forget it” He tilts his head and sighs before giving her sister a side hug, the top of her head is a little below his collarbone, so he kisses it and says that he could never.
They meet up to actually have lunch.
Its… its nice.
Jonah is a little bastard and they spend time judging and betting on the people around. He also learns more about him.
He is working mostly in management, which he thinks suits him way too well, he seems bossy enough.
“Rude!” He grins at him and feels…
At ease.
The man likewise seems far more calmer and happy, it makes him oddly happy to see him like that.
They keep going out, sometimes for lunch, sometimes they get coffee somewhere else. But they do and the more he gets to hear him talk, the more he feels as if he had always know him, but just could not remember it. Sometimes Jonah seems that he knows him too and its sort of perplexing. Clara would say he stalked him, but its- there are such small things that its not possible for him to know, even if he had.
Its at their 6 date that he asks him to eat at his place. He looks surprised but nods.
When he opens the door and sees him, he almost stammers a holy fuck, he barely manages to get a hold of himself. Jonah looked-
Handsome, so so handsome. It sort of fried his brain a little bit.
So he lets him and tries to finish cooking to distract himself from saying something stupid or embarassing like-
Marry me.
No, no he is not that stupid.
Still Jonah offers to help and they work in tandem and it is such a familiar feeling he is left breathless.
They move as if they both already were used to having the other in their space, its… nerve wracking. Peter wants to know why.
The dinner is delicious and they end up curling on the couch watching tv, Jonah is using him as a giant pillow and Peter can't complain, the weight on top of him actually makes him feel comforted and also sleepy…
He sees the man yawn and before thinking it better asks if he wants to crash here since its late and they are both tired. Jonah blinks at him and he sees him hesitate, so he assures him he won't take it bad if he says no, it was merely a suggestions and-
He laughs and nods before hiding his face on the crook of his neck. He lets out a breath almost as if punched and feels his cheeks warm up while grinning like an idiot.
Once they change and he offers the man a shirt that hangs a little bit too loosely around his frame they get in bed and Peter sort of… stares, Jonah does the same.
“Hey” His lips twitch.
“Hey yourself” It's not clear which one of them moves first, but the next thing he knows they were kissing. It wasn't rushed or anything merely a press of their lips that sets him aflame inside. God he loves him doesn't he?
He loves-
He-
…
Oh.
Son of a bitch.
He bites his lip lightly making the man complain and then he pulls back.
“You sneaky bastard” He sees him frown and then light up with realization.
“Oh”
“Hello Elias” He frowns.
“Jonah if you don't mind” Peter mulls it over, thinking of James and Elias. It wasn't the body that he wanted.
It was the smug bastard that was piloting it that he loved.
“Jonah” The man shivers “I died” He sees him lock his jaw and close his eyes. How peculiar, he would not have hidden away before or shown… shame for what he can see on his face, he wonders what changed in this life.
Peter sees him swallow.
“You did” Nodding he thinks. He died, there were fear gods, he was a Lukas once upon a time, but now he was a Fairchild even if by adoption.
He grew alone, he grew with his siblings.
He was lonely, he was loved.
Peter sees a small tear escape Jonah along with his body being tightly coiled, as if waiting to sprint out.
The punches make sense now, if someone else remembered...
Letting out a breath and pulling at his hair in thought, Peter closes his eyes too and lets it all go over him. That was a life ago, and now? Now he is here and he was… content, but not happy.
Not until he found him again. Or more like Jonah found him.
Its easy honestly, the answer to what he wants to do with him and this chance.
Peter in his first life had only cared about two things, his god and Elias. One is gone, the other.. changed, but was still the same. The same man he had fallen in love with so many times, and in different ways through the years of their marriages and divorces.
The only one that had some form of hold over his heart.
“Come here my little siren” Jonah’s eyes flash open and he blinks a few more tears away before scrambling to his open arms. Its raining outside and the sound its what they hear beyond their breathing and the beating of their hearst. The lights of the room are dimmed and Peter finally feels right, he pulls the covers up and tangles their bodies together, fitting perfectly together.
Without forsaken he can admit it freely, that he loves this, loves the feeling of Jonah pressed against him, a different body, but also always the same.
He just needs to get used to it again, slowly playing with his hair he speaks.
“You are quite a bastard, but so am i and… as nice as this life is… i think its much better with you in it” Jonah shivers.
“What i'm trying to say is i missed you, even if i didn't remember you before. It was always like there was something amiss. A hole in my perfect little life”
“I-” He smiles tiredly.
“You didn't, i know, but its ok. I know you” Jonah shakes his head.
“I did- i just didn't know it either, i thought it was Barnabas at first, then the others, but… it was you. I missed you Peter, I really did…. Even- even in the apocalypse I still did, I would look into the lonely often. Useless sure, but i did” His plan had worked, but at the same time that was no longer their issue.
“Well I guess we are at an impasse. What do you want to do?”
“... I want- i want to stay, please” He thinks of his apartment, big enough for two.
“You will have to deal with my siblings and Simon, this time we stayed close” He snorts.
“If they don't kick me out, i was… an ass with them” Kissing his forehead Peter laughs.
“You were, but… they are happy for me”
“... then yes i would like to stay”
“Good, Jonah?” He looks up to him again, and Peter sees the eyes are the same, that this time they are right, leaning down he kisses him. They fumble in bed for a long while and when they are both sated and more used to each other's bodies, Peter lets the smaller man hug him from the back to cuddle and finally fall asleep.
“You know one would think you would enjoy the opposite of this-”
“I do, but i missed you, so hush and just sleep” He stays quiet for a little bit.
“Night Peter”
“Night, I love you”
“.... i love you too” He smiles.
In the morning they will make breakfast, Jonah goes to his place and he prepares to work. Once he sees him come in later on during the day he presents to him his order and gets a smile.
They will try to make this life count.
He wonders how long till he moves in with him.
On his way to buy groceries he sees a box with a familiar kitten left to the side of a building and he sighs. Better take his cat to the vet now, food can wait.
His sisters will be ecstatic.
Aaron not so much since he is allergic, but well.
It is his cat.
Life truly is good now.
He got his husband, his cat, family and job.
Humming along with the kitten pawing at his arms softly he feels the most happy as he has ever been.
Little bit of an au where his attempted ritual fails and everything goes wrong, plus Peter lives cause I want him to. Lonelyeyes is the ship that keeps on giving.
So enjoy.
✿: feeling so out of it, they need constant attention
⌘: being picked up
It failed-
No.
No,nonon. His life work-
Jonah Magnus, aka Elias Bouchard has the sudden feeling of vertigo hit him and his body slumps on his office. While he twitches in place, the sheer pressure of being seen is so much that it leaves him completely breathless.
He can't move, or think, only feel the metaphorical eye stare him down like a physical force.
The last time he felt this was when he attempted his ritual in the panopticon so long ago.
Elias feels ill all of a sudden, very ill. So with shaky legs he gets up and manages to run off, Rosie stands up to ask, but he shakes his head and tells her she is dismissed. Then he goes.
His mind was doubling itself trying to comprehend, but as if in a fog, everything slipped away. Elias could not focus on anything, he could see but not understand, as if that was being stripped away. With that he realized he did not know what to do, where to go, his boy was on fire and he must look terrible because-
Because people were staring, whispering, knowing and watching and judging and-
Run-
Where-
Wherewherewherewhere-
Where does he go, where is he, who is he-
His mind was spinning and a person tries to approach him, when suddenly he feels-
Blanketed somehow, muffled. The people stop watching and he is left alone and his mind can think straight for a few minutes before it becomes impossible. He needs to go home, needs to go back and-
And rest.
To plan, to get better and find a loophole or something, he has to, Elias needs to find something. He hasn't come this far for it to fail now, but his body betrays him and his knees give out on him, making him fall to the floor. His temperature raises, and he feels himself start to weep slightly all of it for nothing? Is this how it goes? How it ends…
With him slumped on the street, with his archivist running amok-
Him alone….
Jonah lets a few tears in his feverish state and starts to pass out, when he hears something distorted and familiar.
The impossibility makes his shriveled heart ache. Peter Lukas died, and even if he was alive he would not come back for him, not after letting him go to face Jon.
He manages to mumble his name and knows no more.
Elias wakes up again, a miracle, maybe the police found him and got him to a hospital before sending him back again-
Yet he sees his room. He is in bed, wrapped up in sheets, his sluggish mind cant comprehend fully what is going on, but he latches on the familiarity, latches on the safety of the place and what it means.
So slowly he closes his eyes again and sleeps once more.
The next time he wakes up to someone lifting him in a bridal carry, he tries to move away now afraid, but he hears grunting and his eyes open slightly. He blurrily sees a bearded, pale face stare him down. He sniffles and feels his eyes wet against his wishes.
“Please don't start again, I can't keep watching you cry Elias” He doesn't understand. In all honesty his mind is nothing but syrup, the only thing it latches on is on this man that he is sure is gone and yet he is here looking after him.
“Please” He is not sure what he is asking for, but Peter sighs and just stares at him. He can see his face look uncomfortable, but Elias-? Jonah? Which one is it? Feels a spark of recognition. He wants him to keep looking at him.
His mind slips away again and he presses his cheek to his chest before passing out.
The next time, he still feels lost, he makes a few noises of discomfort and Peter comes out of the door and starts to check on him. Touches his forehead, mumbles something and gives a quick caress to his cheek. Then he moves to go, but he makes a quite honest pathetic noise that if he were in a better frame of mind, Jonah would be appalled to be making.
Still it serves his purpose well, Peter hesitates and he tries to mumble his name, even if it feels like pulling teeth.
“P-ter?” The man pulls his hair back and sighs before sitting next to him, his body aches still, and he feels hot, but he still turns around to press himself closer to him. Peter slowly starts to play with his damp hair and mumbles words that he can't bring himself to understand. Elias just wants him to stay and watch over him, he feels so bad, its impossible to think of anything else than that.
Eventually it lulls him enough to doze off.
And so it goes like that.
Elias just… wakes up and demands for Peter attention to be kept on him for as long as he can. Slowly he gains enough awareness to feel the fear of him leaving him.
Of Peter dropping him due to this and going to the Tundra. His body is wrecked with shivers and his eyes get blurry with tears. The man is holding him while trying to calm him down, even if Elias can't say why he is like this.
“Shh, why? You were doing so well, why did you start to cry again?? What's wrong, Elias I don't know what to do you little bastard-” He cant stop. He weeps.
Its as if he was letting out something he had lodged inside himself and now he could not make himself stop, he didn't know how to do it. It was tearing at him, but it also felt somewhat relieving?
It was unfair.
Peter just held him closer and hushed him. Elias just wept for this surely would make him leave.
So stupid and clingy and empty headed that he was, nothing like himself whatever that meant. Just ill and pathetic like he had never been before.
“Shhh, no, no listen its not just-” His ears are ringing and he just presses his face closer before blacking out.
The next few times he wakes up only to throw up. Peter has to lift him to take him to the bathroom to clean his mouth, he barely manages to catch the black thing he threw up before the man quickly picks him up.
He is dying isn't he?
He is going to die-
“No, no you aren't i swear” He mumbles it and weep and when he tries to lift his hands to clean his face the man stops him and shakes it.
“Careful” Why? What is wrong-
He looks down and sees black spots on his clothes where the tears should have fell. Is he-
“Its ok, it will pass-” He pulls at his arms and draws him closer.
“Sorry-” Elias just presses himself against Peter and keeps mumbling it. Not even knowing what he is sorry for. Only that he feels it from the bottom of his heart.
He refuses to eat, or tries to, must of the time he merely is so out of it, that Peter just offers food and he opens his mouth, but when he is a little bit more himself he refuses. Why? What does it matter-
“Please just a little bit, cmon once you are ok, you can help im sure you will know what happened-” He has no way to know what he means and honestly? He doesn't care.
Leave he wants to say, like always.
What comes out instead is-
“Stay please-” He shivers under the covers and Peter hums while playing with his hair. He is odd, usually he should have left and yet.
“Ok, i don't- there is nowhere else to go Elias. Whatever happened… it left everyone adrift” He feels a tentative kiss to his forehead.
“So please, please get better” His arms tightened and it's so… unlike him and yet its everything Elias has ever wanted from the man. He buries his face on the crook of his neck and breathes. He doesn't know what is happening, but he wants Peter to stay with him, the only person who knows him and yet comes back.
Who came back despite everything.
“How are you here….” A chuckle.
“Took you long enough… I don't know, I remember sort of dying, yet also… not? Sort of like I dispersed in the lonely, almost… would have just disappeared” He nods even if it feels weird.
“But-?”
“But i felt someone-” And he kisses his head “Being lonely and it was enough to appear”
“... mmSo-” Peter shakes his head.
“No, no you're not and i don't want you to, we both tried to hurt the other, lets call it even ok?”
“Kay, Peter i cant… i don't know if i can be better-” His mind starts to slip away again so he grabs onto the man, he seems to be the only thing keeping him together at this rate. He is so dazed he can't notice him stiffening and taking a deep breath.
“You will, im- im sure of it, you are definitely better than when i found you! Can stay, stay awake for longer, so that's ok? We are talking” And they are, yet..
“Don't think it will last… was too much beholding i can't-” Peter sounds more strained.
“You will be fine, you have to. I don't know what to do Elias, i- forsaken left- everything is too much you have to be fine, i don't think i could- could deal with you g-gone” His eyes are already closing so he looks up. Peter looks sick too, less than him, but still he has bags under his eyes, they are red and puffy as if he cried too. He was pale by nature but now its concerning.
“Sorry…”
“Elias?”
“Mm” He can't keep himself up anymore.
He wishes he could stay, he would love to see how Peter would be now.
When he wakes up this time, its to someone holding his hand and the muffled sounds of crying, he blinks up and feels…. ok.
Not perfect, but not terrible either. His mind is far more awake than it has been in… god knows how long.
When he turns around he sees Peter is holding his hand and pressing his face to it.
He is the one crying.
It makes something that he thinks he buried a long time ago surface.
He feels sympathy for him, feels… that he very much would want him to stop crying and be the odd and charming man he married several times.
Elias does not like to see him sad, what a weird concept.
So he squeezes his hand and Peter jolts as if shocked looking up at him. He smiles tiredly.
“You look like shit captain” It startles him and for a second he stares with his mouth slightly open until he snorts and starts laughing.
Soon it turns into more tears but he kind of ignores it since he feels his own start to come out.
“Hey”
“You miserable excuse of a watcher” He grins.
“I love you too” Peter gets up from the chair he was sitting on, lifts the covers making him curse him and picks him up easily before kissing him. He clumsily reciprocates, but soon starts to kiss him with little pecks making the taller man nuzzle his nose.
“I love you” Elias freezes waiting for the yet, however there is nothing. Peter just lowers him slowly and gets in next to him.
“Why?” He did not mean to say that, yet he sees him smile amusedly and that fits far much more on his face than the sadness.
“Because- if you didn't notice our gods dropped the ball on us and i think… I think it would hurt too much if you were gone. Far more than I could bear with. I thought it would be fine before, but i… was wrong. The past 3 weeks proved it”
Elias parses through all of it. He hates that he knows. That he can feel the hole in his awareness. That he has spent 3 weeks purging 150 years worth of power. Its frightening and he is sure that the terror will settle later on, But now…
Now he wants to stay like this longer, to remain in this little bubble for a little bit longer until he has to face this new reality.
“I felt relieved when I thought you survived before passing out the first time. It felt… good to think you were still there, even if I didn't understand why you would help me” Peter traces shapes on his arm causing goosebumps on his skin.
“Did not know either, figured you would have answers, thought i could be angry later. But you were so out of it… kept crying in your sleep it was terrifying. So pale and sick… did not want that at all. Then you-” He seems to be at a loss of words.
“Peter?”
“You stopped breathing.” Elias blinks and has a moment of pure distilled panic.
“I-”
“That's why I was holding your- you stopped breathing I thought you were…” He swallows.
“Clearly you were wrong huh?”
“Yes… yes i was i guess” He pulls him closer and he rests against him.
“We will figure it out” Peter just nods. “We will Peter, just… just trust me on that” A deep breath, he is asking for too much-
“Just this once” But it's enough it seems.
“I'm still- i don't feel perfect, but i feel better…” They tangle their legs and Peter talks.
About having to look for medicine, making sure he was well, feeding him, calling Simon to asks what to do-
And Elias eats all of it, but especially all the moments where he was semi lucid and Peter seemed to do everything to keep him happy, to make him stop crying. Apparently if he ever wanted for Peter to just do as he said he should have just cried, it seems he can't deal with it at all.
Some things in bed make far more sense now in retrospect. Smiling he listens and when he is done asks for something to eat. Nodding he gets up, but before Elias can attempt to try and go with him, Peter merely picks him up and takes him to the kitchen.
“Hey-! I can do it on my own Peter!! What are you-”
“You will probably face plant, quicker like this, plus… I sort of…” He sees him blush and he raises an eyebrow.
“Yes…?”
“You will mock me!” He starts to smirk slightly.
“Depends on what it is love” That makes him flush brighter and Elias looks amazed at it, Peter hardly ever blushed let alone at any of his terms of endearment.
“I missed having you look at me cooking” He mumbles it so slowly he can barely hear it but it settles snugly somewhere near his heart.
“Oh”
Once seated Peter goes to make food and he starts asking questions until three animals jump to the table and his lap asking for attention.
“My lovelies!” Duchess and Empress purr and rub themselves against him while the captain sort of plays with his hand.
“Yes, had to keep them away from the room, they would cling to you and mewl like crazy. It was… sort of sad to watch” He can imagine it. So he holds his cats and kisses their little heads while cooing.
They eat and Elias wants to take a bath, he asks the man to prepare it and take him there.
“You know i feel like you are now abusing this”
“Not one bit, i'm still ill, keep me well, love, and i will be up in no time” He sees him hide his flustered face slightly and Elias chuckles.
He has no idea what to do now, but he will figure it out like usual, for now he has Peter looking over him and the cats. And.
If he is not wrong, a bunch of ex avatars are very pissed off at his archivist and associates for ruining things, so at least he can get rid of them at the very least.
Recovering the institute after the whole fiasco with the hunters will be a nightmare, along with technically escaping prison, but Peter said he already looked into it a little bit. So it could be worse. For now he will rest and ask for his husbands caretaking for as long as he can get away with it.
And Peter seems to be rather happy now that he can fight him back a little bit and he is no longer on the verge of death.
Elias… Elias thinks he loves him. More than he ever did before.
Wonders about it, however… for now he is ok with not knowing the why’s. Happy with just enjoying the moment for what it is worth.
Thank you so much Flurby for accepting requests and writing ❤❤❤
+: being led back to bed with patient whispers
ʌ: comfort after a nightmare
This is based on the happy childhood au wip that i should actually finish. However have fun with this tiny lonely child having an actual mom who loves him.
Peter is alone, no matter where he goes in the maze-like house he can't find anyone, not his siblings, his moms or his uncles. The place is empty and no one answers him when he yells, no one comforts him when he cries, no one comes when he asks for help.
The hallways stretch out endlessly and not in a fun way like when uncle Simon comes to visit, it's horrible and frightening. More importantly he sees shadows of people walking around, when he tries to ask for help they stare at him and he just has the sudden feeling of shame, of knowing that he should remain quiet and not speak up, just be good and silent.
He hates that, hates the cold and fears the lonely corridors, Peter is scared, no- he is terrified of the loneliness this place brings, when he is so used to being surrounded by his family being happy around him.
He sees the fog and has a bout of hope that mom is close. She always claims that as long as he sees her friendly fog she will find him when he is sad. So he calls out to her, yet the fog only becomes thicker and colder and it scares him.
Suddenly he is in another place, this time there are a lot of adults wearing black looking at a small box. He doesn't know what is happening, but the feeling of fear and sadness he gets is so overwhelming he ends up struggling until he wakes up tangled on his sheets.
Blinking his tears away, he looks around the room, illuminated by the small light he asked mom to buy, and sees that Aaron is still asleep. Peter swallows and tries to calm down, he is six he can't keep bothering his siblings and mom with nightmares.
Yet.
Yet it was so real, the house, the people the box-
It felt real and it scared him enough to get up and go to look for his mom.
Grabbing Captain Snuffles, his seal plushie, he walks tiptoeing around the apartment until he reaches his mom's room. Opening it slightly he sees her asleep, so he walks inside and very carefully pokes her arm, when she doesn't wake up, he lightly pushes her.
The fear that maybe she cant see him is enough to make him start to cry and sniffle, that's what has her turn around and hit the bedside table to turn on the lights.
“Peter…?” Having all the terror course through him makes him jump up to her arms, she catches him with an ompf and rolls around to let him lay in the bed with her.
“Starfish are you ok?? What happened?” He shakes his head and hugs her close while trying to stop crying like a baby.
“M-msorry- mom- got scared” She brushes his tears aways and holds him close before kissing the top of his head.
“Oh my little anemone, its ok to be scared, you can come here anytime you want ok? I will keep you safe” Nodding against her chest she hums a song, it makes him feel at ease.
“Know, but i'm older and i didnt-”
“Peter?” He lifts his head. “You can come to see me anytime, your sisters… They get scared too. As long as you need me I will be there ok?” His hands clutch Captain Snuffles and he nods.
“Sorry mum” She smiles, he can barely see it through the dark, but its enough to let his worries rest.
“Now, can you tell me what got you like this?” Peter wants to, but its… sort of stupid, he knows it is, yet mom was so nice…
“Had a bad dream, was in a big house all alone and couldn't find any of you, then- then there was the friendly fog, but it wasn't nice and then i was outside and there were lots of people wearing black and a small box and it felt… scary and lonely” She moves to press him closer and he can hear her heartbeat. It lets him settle while she cuddles him, albeit due to it he doesn't see her sad expression.
“Oh sweety… Do you remember the story?” He makes an affirmative sound, he does.
Mom adopted them because their family was bad, uncle Simon helped to keep them safe.
“Its not… it was real?” She sighs.
“It was a big house dear, that was a… funeral. Remember the one we did for Mr Fish?” He did, Judith was sad about the fish dying.
“Those are sad and scary, you must have remembered that, I'm sorry sweetheart” He shakes his head.
“It's ok mom love you” He can hear her chuckle and start to play with his hair making him yawn.
“Someone is sleepy…” Peter nods and hugs her closer, maybe if he plays it nice…
“Starfish you can always come to me, but you have to get back to bed” Peter tries to make the face, Clara says that mom always caves when he uses it, so he must. He doesn't want to go back!! He wants to stay here with her. He can see her face make a pensive expression.
“No, no, Peter dear, I love you, but you have to go back to bed”
“Nooo, sleep here with you, what if the bad fog gets me?” His mom is quiet and he feels her hands squeeze him tighter.
“Never. Peter, the bad fog will never get you ok? I will always look for you and so will your siblings, your uncles and Titania ok? We will keep all of you safe” He wonders from what, but assumes she means the fog only.
“Kay, but I still want to stay here mom…” She hums.
“Ok, but only for a little bit, i will take you back to bed ok?” He nods causing her to ruffle his hair.
“Good” His mom makes shapes on his back and sings softly to him causing his already tired eyes to drop faster. Soon he only hears her voice and heartbeat, its soothing, mom has always been soothing, he remembers that. Always kind and fun and loving, he briefly thinks about his home and about his original mom, but nothing comes, the dream had been scary and he is far happier here with his family the way it is.
With uncle Simon taking him for adventures and telling him stories.
With his siblings all looking over him and Aaron.
With mom and Titania caring for them.
With the assorted changing uncles and aunts whose shapes never remained the same but always were nice with them. Particularly Chuck who despite being scary was also fun and called mom his favourite teacher on being human.
Peter was far more happy with them than anything involving the people in the dream. He was happy.
He feels something moving him so he grumbles and tries to bat it away, instead he hears his mom call out to him.
“Sorry sweety i was going to pick you” He blinks a few times and sighs, but lets her grab him.
“Thank you, sleep, I will tuck you in ok?” She whispers lightly while taking him along, so Peter nuzzles her neck and says that he loves her and he is sorry again.
“Its ok starfish, it really is, I know things are scary but… I promise you, you will never be lonely again, and we will all be here for you. That's what families do!!” He nods and hugs her neck.
Soon she places him in bed and tucks him in, before she gets up he asks for a story, he knows he is pushing it, but he wants to think of something nice before going to sleep, not wanting to dream of the awful place again. His mom takes a moment but nods and caresses his cheek softly.
“Once upon a time-” He falls asleep hearing her talk about a sailor falling in love with a prince.
His dreams are full of beaches made out of ice cream and his siblings building a castle with it.
Peter falls asleep with a smile and Missy kisses his forehead and Aaron’s before going back to bed.
Titania opens her door and asks if everything is ok.
“Yes, he had a nightmare about the house and the funeral only”
“Sorry, do you want…?” The invitation is there so she nods and they end up cuddling in bed.
“Thanks…” The other woman smiles.
“Its ok, hopefully it all turns into a far away memory for him eventually”
“Mm” She hides her face on her shoulder and Titania kisses her brow.
“Don't worry you did right by them, now sleep, you have work!”
“Bossy little woman” She can hear the smile in her voice while they turn off the lights.
“Clingy tall woman” All is well in the Moore-Fairchild apartment.
5 children along with their two caretakers sleep well that night and everything is as it should be.
