Breaking Generational Cycles & My Aspirations - N.S.P
Most families pass down family legacies such as jewelry, stories, recipes, etc. Mine on the other hand, passed down silence, survival and a rule to never speak on or express, and to hold onto your emotions. These repeated patterns shaped who I am today, making me believe that this was the only way that I could live. For most of my life, I was trapped in a story, trying to survive the same struggles my family faced across generation to generation. Jeffrey Prager writes that breaking cycles means “recovering humanity” from what history tried to embed into us (Prager 14). I took this as a sign to heal, choose differently, and prove to myself that I am worth way more than the trauma my family held onto before me. I aspire to overcome generational patterns in my family that I inherited by creating a future built on stability, emotions, and new opportunities, so I can finally break the cycle of what history tried to pass onto me.
Growing up, silence was like shadow in the house it was clearly there but never “visible”. Emotions were camouflaged as strength. And survival, continuous, excruciating survival was my everyday reality. Based on Micere Keels, trauma and learned behaviors are often pass down like “unseen threads,” stitching each generation to the one before it (Keels 68). I felt thoes threads pulling at me, influencing the way I respond to situations, love and terror. These pattens had me questioning, “Is this the way life is supposed to be?” I knew deep down it wasn’t, which is why I want to change, not because I was failed by family , but because I knew I didn’t wish to continue the cycle.
These patterns fortunately didn’t break me, instead built my aspirations. They became the root from where my aspirations grew. Lisa Thomas explains in her TEDx Talk, our “inherited emotional DNA” quietly influences how we navigate relationships, opportunities, and even self-worth (TEDx Talks, Inherited Emotional DNA). As I grew older witnessing emotional trauma, financial problems, and unspoken pain pushed me to want a better future. I aspire to experience stability because I’ve never seen it. I’ve only learned to control my emotions, so I aspire to express my feelings instead of keeping them to myself. I have seen the affect it has on many. I aspire to bring new opportunities, knowing hoe limited choices makes people rely on one another. Not only do I want to be better than my family, I wish to break the damaging generational cycle.
Anat Gofen argues, first-generation achievers create “family capital” by choosing differently than the generations before them (Gofen 105). To build my future I have learned be confident in the choices I make. Learning to communicate, attending higher education, healing from unspoken trauma, working to support myself, and investing in myself, go against all the generational patterns I grew up around. According to Makayla Allia understanding where our family patterns come from is the first step in “redefining how we relate and who we become” (Allia). Each step I take proves my commitment to change because they are planned to help me push through and rise above the cycles I grew up with.
Renata Merino’s TEDx Talk says that breaking generational patterns isn’t one moment—it’s a series of “small, persistent acts of courage” (TEDx Talks, Breaking Generational Patterns). My actions may be small, but breaking the cycle is not easy, but I will succeed at it. I aspire to break the generational curse I inherited by creating a future based on stability, emotions, and new opportunities. These patterns influenced me to become the woman I am today, and I dreamed for a better life, and I am slowly taking the necessary steps to building a brighter future for myself and the generations after me.
- Author's Note: In this essay, my intention was to analyze how generational cycles influence identity and explore the emotional and cultural weight of inherited trauma. The main question that guided me was: How does unspoken family history shape who we become, and what does it mean to choose and want a different future? I chose this theme because this writing piece reflects my journey growing up and it aligns with the class conversation about aspirations. Also, I thought nobody would write from this point of view or on a personal matter. While writing I wanted to steer away from telling my story and focus more on emotional inheritance, survival, and silence the deeper implications rooted in generational patterns. I found it challenging to balance personal experience with writing in an academic evidence-based way. I imagined my audience to be my peers, and readers who may also be facing the same generational patterns so they can connect with it from another point of view. Because of this, I wrote in a tone that felt honest but still logical, trying to meet the assignment requirements. This helped me to stay on track and not go into as much personal detail. I also learned literary concepts better, by having a better understanding on explicit and implicit context, and personal narrative can intersect with the overall theme. Writing this helped me expand my critical thinking that silence shaped me into who I am today, and how choosing peace can transform my future.
