His eyes blinked open, and to his dismay, it was another day-- or rather, night. Sleep rarely felt like “sleep” anymore. It felt like he would just simply close his eyes and time would just pass by. A sleep schedule no longer mattered. There was no yawning and hoping to hit the snooze button on his alarm anymore, but he supposed that was a mere side effect. He did at least sit up and stretch out his arms above his head and then ran his fingers through the messy, golden locks that had no bounds to the law of gravity. He scanned his bedroom and saw what he had left on his nightstand: a beer, his carton of cigarettes, and his cellphone. He grabbed the bottle of beer and swished it around to make sure he hadn't used it as an ashtray last night before taking a quick swig. Nothing like stale beer to wash out the lingering old beer taste in your mouth. He then checked his phone for his notifications, and his phone had apparently buzzed all night.
This wasn't unusual. His manager prodded at him to check the latest news regarding an article that involved him and the rumors of the sequel to Days, the movie where he played a serial killer. He was praised for his method acting and people found how it was terrifying he seemed to know the killer's mind so well, but that was because he personally knew the accused. However, no one had to know that. He scrolled through his news feed and twisted his lips to the side. Fans would be disappointed there would be no sequel because he didn't want to take on the role again.
Roxas smacked his lips and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with his free hand. He intended on closing out of the app before he began his mindless scrolling... until something did catch his eye.
He had to do a double take. He could've sworn he saw that name somewhere in one of the articles he passed by. Perhaps that beer from last night and the swig this morning was causing him to see things. Nevertheless, he was determined to find the attached first name to the last name. That last name held so many memories, and it managed to get his rotten, torn heart to race. It almost hurt feeling that muscle beat again.
Then there it was. He found the article. “Axel Pyre,” He read aloud. Then he read it again. And again. And again...
He couldn't believe his eyes. His lips were left parted as the surprise ran through his veins and it nearly made him shake. The person attached to that name was waking up something that had been long gone in his body. It was a flame that was licking his insides and each scorch was reminding him of what had happened between him and Axel Pyre. It had been so long ago, but the scars were there. The article contained Axel's work on motorcycles and more. He was quickly becoming popular and had made connections with some fellow celebrities that Roxas also knew personally. He was simply blown out of the water from seeing Axel. In the article, a picture was attached, and it confirmed to Roxas that was in fact the Axel he knew. He shook his head slightly and continued to read the article that contained Axel's recent accomplishments. He wondered if Axel ever ran across the articles about him and took the time to catch up, or if he merely used the magazines to crush his cigarettes with.
Roxas tried to move on from that article. He stripped down for a shower and attempted to forget about it before his heart ruptured from the sudden movement. He couldn't escape from the intrusive thoughts, however. All he could think about was how things ended up sour between them, and later things ended up sour for himself. There were a few empty beer bottles littered around his house, but that was nothing considered his trash cans were full of empty bottles of vodka and more. It was a problem he ignored like everyone else did.
He spent most of his days alone now, aside from his dog, Pricey. His new life was supposed to be people centric considering he was given a second chance after dying. Yet, he wanted nothing to do with them. How could he be a guardian for others when he didn't even have his shit together?
Roxas shook the water out of his hair before blow drying it after stepping out of the shower. He dressed and moseyed his way toward the kitchen that had an open view of the city. Somewhere, he thought, Axel Pyre is out there. Lord, he didn't even think he was even near where he lived... but lo and behold. He took a steady breath and slowly took a seat at his island before making himself a drink to ease his nerves.
A thought occurred to him. He kept shutting it down, but the thought could not be drowned out. He wanted to smother it. He wanted it assassinated, but it was persistent. The thought suggested to him that he should contact Axel. The thought alone made his hands start to shake and his blood grow cold. He wasn't feeling that warm spark within him at that moment. He knew Axel wanted nothing to do with him. The thought continued, and Roxas groaned. He reminded himself that he was a completely different person now. He wasn't the same 16 year-old brat that he used to be. He was now 21 and he was so many things.
He became an actor and a model, and his popularity grew and made a name for himself above his family riches and tragedy. That was something worth talking about over coffee, but what about the other stuff? His eyes shot up to the ceiling as he thought about the mess the last few years became. He wouldn't be able to explain half of those things to Axel, but maybe he didn't have to. Maybe they could just... talk. This was starting to eat away at Roxas, and he felt like he had little choice in the matter.
He's going to hate you. If you text him, he'll ignore you.
Even worse, he might call you just to yell at you.
Everything is your fault. It always has been.
He sharply inhaled and he pulled out his phone and stared at the home screen. The warmth began to pour right back into him when he thought about the times he and Pyre did have before shit went down the drain. Nothing was better than heading over to Axel's place late at night when he felt lonely and trapped by the shadows and voices and having someone at his side as he slept. He remembered how much sleep he was able to get with Axel by his side. He sucked the front of his teeth and decided to go for it. What left did he have to lose? He had already lost everything. He can't lose something he already lost.
The texts were sent, and he anxiously waited for a reply. The anxiousness grew when he realized how bad he wanted to talk to Axel. He wanted to catch up. He wanted to run his mouth. He actually wanted to talk, for once. He had been such a quiet enigma for so long that he was sure people were slowly starting to forget about him. He was feeling like such a zombie. “Axel...” He whispered, and saw an image that shook him back up.
