You Are Cordially Invited....
"You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with" I'm finding it hard to fathom as I've only know him for a few months, and even at that we were not even dating. So can’t figure out of all the ladies in Lagos, why it should be me? Do you know what my favourite food is? What’s my favourite song? Do I like cream in my coffee? You know nothing about me yet you brandish the marriage package willy-nilly.
"What?" was as much a word as I could conjure up.
"So what do you think?" What do I think? You're not asking me whether to buy a blue tie or pink tie now!
Fast forward 4 weeks later, and my BBM delivers the following broadcast message:
You are cordially invited to the traditional wedding ceremony of Miss A and Master B on the 31st December 2013. Venue is Senior Miss A and Senior Master A's residence, village C. Time 12 Noon. Be there! Miss A / Master B.
This story is not heartbreaking as there was no emotional involvement and besides I was invited after-all! This is nothing compared to a primary school friend of mine.
One Saturday in May, she and said man went to Ikeja Shopping Mall. They shopped happily as they weaved from store to store; trying on the best suit. Finally settling on a navy blue suit with crisp white shirt and black bow-tie; perfect for his brothers' graduation in London. This would be a key ingredient as it would explain his absence from her.
After shopping, they stopped off at Debonairs to grab a bite of pizza and some drinks. They would be staying at his house because it was easier to get to the airport from there, the next day. Early that morning, she drove him to Murtala Mohammed Airport and wouldn't come inside with him - as he hated the goodbyes. Little did she know, that as soon as she left, he would make his way to the Local airport for a flight to Enugu airport. He had to come in a few days earlier to rest well for his big day the following Wednesday.
Her phone was more active than normal; the constant buzzing sound coming from her device would show 10 missed calls, more than 15 texts, countless BBM messages. It wasn't her birthday, she had to remind herself. So why was the whole world remembering her now?
Text one: "nne I'm sorry"
Text three: "what a shame"
The same line of messages continued...she was still perplexed...that was until she checked her facebook page. She quickly clicked on his profile; but she couldn't view it. He hadn't wanted her to see...he didn’t want her to rant online...he thought he could keep her in the dark...well for at least a little while. But it came as a rush to her; she knew because that wasn’t her picture with him on his profile. She used her cousin's login details and saw it for herself. She saw pictures of him kissing her as they exchanged their vows!
Why is it that Lagos men can just lie in your face? If they have found another lover, what stops them for telling their other partner? More shockingly, why is it that easy to ask multiple women within a short time-frame to marry them?
Is marriage just another activity some men do without actually thinking deeply about? The fact that Nigerian men get married earlier than men in many other countries needs to be addressed. But I've come to learn that marriage doesn’t' really stop them from their normal 'engaging' activities with women. Infact, marriage to some is protocol, almost business as usual.
Whatever happened to meeting the right girl and waiting for her? Not marrying the next available girl that you can never be happy with; all in the name of being a married man. Next thing kids, many years of marriage. And finally one day, you think of her. The one that got away!
Hope you have had an amazing 2013, here’s to starting the new year on a high! xoxo
