Theory time? Or no, maybe this is just a headcanon?
Anyways.
Okay, so, Nagyunn said that ever since the twins were little, they’ve always talked about going on some big adventure someday.
And look at that expression. You can tell this is something he’s been dreaming about for a long time. This is something he’s fantasized about for a while. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nagyunn have such a happy expression on his face outside of when he was talking to his brother.
It’s been established that Nagyunn and Najin were beaten as kids. We don’t know by who or for how long before they left for Woodion, but we can only assume it was for a long time because the twins seem to have been anywhere from 8-12 when they first got to Woodion. (Or maybe I just can’t tell age that well. I wonder if the author ever made an official age post about the characters in tek? I’m pretty sure there was one for a few characters in the Epic of Gilgamesh, but I could be misremembering.)
Not the point.
What I’m trying to say is what if the only thing that got Nagyunn through those days was the hope of going on this big adventure with his brother?
And again when Nagyunn was beaten everyday in Woodion after the fire?
That would make his sacrifice even more bittersweet. He took the blame of Woodion’s fire for his brother. Because he thought it was his own fault. Nagyunn thought his dream of wanting to adventure out into the world is what made his brother burn down the village, to keep him by his side.
Nagyunn didn’t just take the blame for Najin’s survival, but so he could thrive. He had to endure beatings, harassment, and being treated like scum in Woodion so his brother could become a knight, so his brother could be the hero of their village.
I’d like to imagine that what got him through all those beatings was the thought that someday he and he brother would still get to see the world together, just like what they dreamed of when they were kids….
Day by day he had to be punished by the people of Woodion for his brother’s actions because he thought it was for his brother’s sake. Because he thought it was how he could protect his brother.
No one in the village cared if he lived or died. Luce even said it himself that after the fire no one stepped in to stop him from hitting Nagyunn or cared about how badly he had gotten beaten.
And the worst part? Nagyunn thought he deserved it. Nagyunn thought that Najin only burned down the village so he wouldn’t leave. He never told Najin who was hurting him, thinking it’s what he deserved for being the reason the fire was started (and also for not being able to save Luzian’s father. Nagyunn has got many reasons for self-loathing.)
Episode two, Nagyunn even said that the fire in Woodion happened a decade ago. He suffered as the village’s punching bag for 10 years.
And yet he never stopped longing.
He never stopped dreaming of exploring the world side by side with Najin. Imagining it was his escape. His dream was a way to get away from the sick reality he lived.
He gave up his dreams of adventure, or at the very least set them aside, just for his brother’s sake. To protect his brother. Because at the end of the day, they are both each other’s "only family", and they need to stay by each other’s side.
He had no friends, but at least he had Najin.
He had no other family, but at least he had Najin.
He had no other allies or people to turn to, but at least he had Najin.
After everything, he would always have Najin, right?
Maybe not.
The day Najin died, Nagyunn’s fantasies of adventure died too. His escape from reality shattered, and his dreams for their future became meaningless.
Najin, the person he spent his entire life protecting, the person he sacrificed everything for, is dead, and Nagyunn thinks it’s all his fault. He thinks he 'murdered' his brother. His other half. His world.
Not only were the ten years of beating, harassment, and self loathing a completely meaningless sacrifice without his brother around to spend the rest of his days with, but Nagyunn genuinely believes that Najin died because of him…
That Najin died because he wanted to protect him…
Pretty ironic, right?
But…what does he have now? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Najin, the person Nagyunn centered his life around, is gone. And now all he has is revenge. Without revenge "there is no meaning" to his "existence".
His dreams of being an adventurer, his brother a knight, "meeting each other out there in the world" is nothing but a distant memory. The only thing that kept him going through hardships is gone, and replaced by a hate so strong it overpowers his own morality.
The only thing Nagyunn has left to fantasize about is revenge. The only future he sees is himself getting revenge.
And after that? I worry that there will be no 'after that'.
I yapped about Nagyunn’s mental health and how he’s passively suicidal in the story, but the more I think about it and the more we learn about Nagyunn’s relationship with Najin and their past, the more I think it’s likely Nagyunn will kill himself after he gets his revenge.
As much as I love rooting for the main character, and as much as I think that this revenge will be satisfying and deserved, I really don’t want him to go through with it.
He’s so far gone that I think the only thing that can stop him from losing himself to revenge is his friends.
It’s clear he’s attached to them, and while he has admitted to using them, he also says he doesn’t see them as pawns to be easily discarded.
I really hope we get to explore Nagyunn’s relationships with the others in story, especially when he drops the 'Najin' persona. (If he ever does, that is.)
I think it would really mean a lot to him if the others still stayed by his side and supported him despite knowing he’s Nagyunn and not Najin. It’s clear Nagyunn has never really had a support system outside of his brother, so I think it would really help his character.
That being said, if the others didn’t stay by Nagyunn’s side when he finally truly reveals his identity, it would break something in him he didn’t know he had.
If you read this far, thank you! I really only type down these little yap sessions to organize my thoughts and feelings, but it makes me happy to think even just one other person finds my thoughts intriguing.
Sorry if there are any typos or if I repeated myself too much! I am quite sleep deprived!
Have a great day, reader! Let’s hope my wrist gets better soon so I can make more art!
