Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
F/M
Fandom:
Fairy Tail
Relationship:
Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Additional Tags:
Book of END Lucy rewriting the book of ENDconsequences of messing with demon magic Canon-Typical Violence Canon Compliant and Canon Divergence in a waywhat should have happened in my opinion Hurt/Comfort Some Fluff Angst and Hurt/Comfort
You can also read it here:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63200023
—————
Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertileIt's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet
Lucy felt as if she were burning from the inside.
The more magic she poured into the book, trying to rewrite its pages, the heavier her limbs felt, it was an excruciating, almost indescribable pain, and after spending a good amount of time in Fairy Tail, Lucy knew pain as an old friend, and this was on a different level entirely.
The burning feeling creeping through her felt like a twisted version of her partner's magic, it wasn't the playful, albeit deadly burning that she came to associate with Natsu when he was in a mood, or sparing within the guild, and it certainly wasn't like the defensive, angry and protective burning like when he's facing off an enemy.
No, this felt evil, malicious, and downright wrong. It was fighting her efforts, trying to stop her from making any changes to the book, but it was doing so in vain.
Lucy had no plan of stopping until she was certain Natsu's life was sufficiently rewritten.
So the pain may be there, and it may be excruciating, but the pain was irrelevant, and so was Gray, with his magic doing its best at cooling her down and fighting off the demonic presence swirling its way through her, and Happy's cries in the background that Lucy could barely register.
The only thing the blonde celestial mage cared about at this moment was saving her partner from the worst kind of fate.
The lines covering her seemed to pulse with every interaction her magic had with the book, but the feeling brought a twisted sense of peace to Lucy, beyond the agonizingly burning feeling coursing through her, it was a confirmation that Natsu was still alive.
He was alive and fighting Zeref in the remains of their guild and she'll be damned if she lets the dark wizard get his way.
If Zeref craves death, death shall come to him. But not at the expense of her partner.
Not at the expense of Natsu.
Natsu who had brought her to Fairy Tail and given her a home, a family, and a sense of belonging for the first time in her life since her mother's death. Natsu, who would move heaven and earth to keep everyone he cares about safe.
Now it was her turn to do the same for him.
He had caught her so many times when she was falling, both literally and figuratively. He had been there for her in almost all of her darkest moments, and while she still hadn't gotten over his year-long disappearance, he would always be her person.
After going through so much together, the good and bad times, through all the tears and laughs. After all their fights, many near-death experiences, and the many things that happened in between, Lucy couldn't really pinpoint when she started falling in love with him, but she was sure what it was now.
And after seeing what life would be like for her without the pink-haired dragon slayer breaking into her house and pulling her towards new adventures with their friends, she didn't want to spend a moment without him in her life.
They can talk about everything after.
After they deal with Zeref and his gods damned book and she knows he's safe and sound.
They can deal with everything after.
Together.
Like they always do.
"Lucy." Gray's voice cut through the haze of her mind and brought her back to where the three of them were kneeling on the ground, and she watched in trepidation as the gaps in the letters floating around them currently in the air filled up completely, glowing a celestial gold in contrast to the red.
She stayed deathly still as they started swirling and recoiling back into the book, just as fast as they appeared, and in a flash of light, the book was lying on the ground in front of her, closed.
"Does that mean Natsu's gonna be okay?" Happy's voice was small and hesitant as he spoke the question brimming in all of their heads.
"I don't know, we're just going to have to wait and see. I've done all I can." Lucy said as steadily as she could all things considered, the marks on her body were no longer glowing, she couldn't feel the other magic anywhere around or inside her and the burning of the lines swirling on her skin was not as intense, the harsh red lines looked like fresh and angry wounds, and they now covered the right side of her body and stung like a bitch.
There was a moment of silence before Lucy felt it all hit her at once and as if all her energy ran out she toppled over, falling on the ground as most of her strength left her. The wounds on her body still felt raw, pulsing with pain every time she took a breath, not to mention she used up quite a bit of her magic while writing in the book.
"Lushii, are you okay?" Happy's voice came from her left, and Lucy smiled a little at the cat's concern as she braced herself and took a deep breath, gritting through the pain as she moved slowly, obviously favoring her left side as she pushed herself into a sitting position. "I'm fine Happy, just a little tired and sore." Lucy said to the blue exceed as she opened up her arms for him.
He jumped without hesitation and she moved her left hand to embrace him, letting her cheek meet his blue fur as they hugged.
"Don't worry Happy, everything is going to be okay, I know it. There's no way I'd let a book beat me, you know I always best them instead." Lucy told him after a few moments, clutching him a little tighter as she spoke.
There was a pause, and then a teary snort came from the cat as he pulled away and sat in her lap instead.
"Like on our first official job as a team, when you almost got pummeled by Virgo when you tried to figure out that weird magical book?" The blue fur ball teased making Lucy laugh at the memory of Virgo's other form.
"Yes, exactly. I beat it then, and I beat it now."
She answered back confidently and with a smile that seemed to put at ease most of Happy's concerns.
Moving slowly, Lucy pulled him off her lap so he was standing on the ground next to her, she started trying to stand again, and then Gray was by her side helping her.
Through all the chaos and emotion in her head, she had forgotten he was with them for a second.
"Thanks." She muttered to him as he helped steady her.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay? The lines haven't disappeared and that was some nasty demon magic." Gray asked apprehensively as he hovered around her as if waiting to see in which direction she would topple over.
Lucy steadied herself as best she could, summoning the strength of her spirits and friends to give her strength, and looked back at her worried friend. She offered him a sincere smile as she answered his question.
"The lines hurt, it feels like a raw wound, it stings, but not as bad as it did, and as for the demon magic, I'm a celestial mage, remember?" She offered him a playful smirk before continuing. "It didn't stand a chance against me."
Gray scoffed at her, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Please, if anything it was my magic that kept it at bay." He shot back making Lucy laugh.
"I'm not Natsu, you can't goad me into a fight." And at the mention of Natsu, the trio was brought back to reality as they all turned to look at the book.
It was still lying on the floor, closed with the hole and all.
"It looks the same." Gray muttered as he crossed his arms over his bare chest and he glared at the book. "I know, but it feels different, doesn't it?" Lucy asked as she cautiously moved towards it.
"Yeah, it doesn't feel as demonic as before."
Lucy hummed in agreement as she bent down to pick it up, her hands shaking as she grasped the book and clutched it to her chest as she turned back to look at her companions.
"Do you think they're still fight-" Her sentence was cut off as the book in her hands started to glow and as their gazes fell on it, they were left to watch in horror as the book of END slowly disappeared.
"No! No, no, no." Lucy cried out as she desperately tried to clutch at the fading object, her fingers going straight through it as it faded out of existence.
"Lucy?" Happy's voice was small and shaky, and Lucy knew there were tears in his eyes, but her mind was racing a mile a minute. What the hell just happened?
What went wrong? Surely Natsu didn't lose, she knew there wasn't an opponent that her partner couldn't beat. If they were a threat to Fairy Tail, they were no match for her pink-haired dragon slayer.
And she was so sure that she had written everything correctly, there was no doubt about it.
So why did the book disappear?
"He can't be gone." Lucy whispered out as she looked at Gray and Happy. "He can't." Her voice was small and she could feel the tears streaming down her face but she paid them no mind.
Too focused on trying to keep herself together to care.
"Lucy.." Gray's voice was soft and placating and it made her want to hit him. "He is not gone." Her voice was calm and even as she spoke, with a certain edge to it that dared him to refute her statement.
"Don't be stubborn about this, I know it's hard-" And that's all he got to say before Lucy exploded.
"You don't know anything." She almost hissed in his face making him flinch back at the unexpected and sudden hostility in her tone.
Lucy felt like screaming at that moment, she wanted to shout and punch and wreck anything and anyone in sight. Because Natsu isn't gone.
He can't be.
She had written all of his memories during the life he'd known here, every little detail she knew about him and his time in Fairy Tail and his memories of Igneel, which was pretty much everything there was to know about him.
Lucy might've known him for the shortest amount of time in comparison to most of the guild, but she knew him best. They were partners and best friends, and she refuses to live in a world where that is no longer the case.
"You don't know, you can't. Natsu-" Her voice caught in her throat as she said his name, chest tightening in a way that made it hard to breathe. "He's, he..." Lucy stumbled out clumsily, not knowing how to articulate her words and the feelings that came with them, the possibility of him being gone was practically overwhelming her.
"He can't be gone." She repeats the statement, her words a little shakier this time, as if admitting that Natsu vanishing without a trace would break her.
And it would.
It would completely destroy her.
The silence around them was almost suffocating. After days of fighting, after days of waring with Alvrez, a whole fucking year since she was last truly happy and with her family, a year since she's seen him. So this couldn't be happening. He wasn't gone.
It was like a mantra playing over in her head.
The silence around them and the reality of their situation was like a heavy weight pushing down on them. "Lushi." Happy pawed at her leg and she tilted her head to look at him.
He had tears streaming down his face and his sadness crushed her even further down the spiral. "Oh, Happy." She murmured through sobs as she bent down to pick him up, ignoring the pain from her wounds as she cuddled him closer.
Trying to hold back her tears in vain as she hugged the exceed close to her.
"We should probably go and find the others." Gray's voice broke through the sound of their crying after several moments and Lucy sniffled, trying to compose herself as she turned to nod at him when a shadow caught her eye.
Someone was approaching them, a half-hunched-over figure that seemed to be clutching his side., his steps were a bit wobbly but determined.
The three of them stood tense in anticipation for half a second, before a flash of pink had Lucy almost falling to her knees in relief, her arms unconsciously tightened around the exceed in her arms as they both let relaxed at the sight of him, walking towards them with his stupidly perfect smile and his tousled pink hair.
"Yo." He greeted them as if it was a completely regular day as if they hadn't just fought tooth and nail to save the world and their family.
His nonchalance almost made Lucy want to hit him. But the overwhelming feeling of joy and relief washed over her now that he was within touching distance, and for the time being, nothing else mattered.
"Natsu!" Happy jumped out of her arms and into the pink dragon slayer's embrace, the dragon slayer in question just caught his buddy with his good arm and hugged him close, letting the exceed cry from happiness in his arms.
Lucy watched the moment between her boys with a soft smile and a warm heart, the moment she felt his warmth wrap around her she felt like she was coming home.
Like back at the arena in Crocus, even though the pervert burned her clothes off, the embrace of his heat still felt like home.
"I take it your fight went well?" Gray deadpanned, trying to sound casual, but Lucy could see that he felt the same weight lifted off of him just like her.
Natsu shrugged his shoulders, careful not to jostle Happy where he was perched on the left one as he moved to scratch the back of his head with a sheepish smile on his face. "It ended differently than I expected, but it all worked out in the end, mostly thanks to-" Whatever he was going to say was cut off when he finally got a proper look at his partner.
"Luce?" He said tentatively as he moved a few steps so he was standing in front of her. "What happened?" He asked as he moved his good arm to hover over the lines covering her right arm and side, up her neck and stomach, and on her face.
He traced his fingers around the burns on her arms as his gaze followed the ones on her face. Lucy wondered, not for the first time, what he saw when he looked at her.
Especially now, after everything. Now that Zeref was gone, Lucy had seemingly done the impossible because Natsu didn't die with him. He was standing in front of her, his eyes boring into hers as he waited for an answer.
There were times when she wondered if he felt the same way as her. Fleeting looks and moments between them that ended before they even began, usually because their life was in danger, but it was moments like those that left her wondering more than once if she was imagining things.
Sometimes there was this look he would give her, this intense and complete attention focused on her that usually left her blushing and feeling confused as to what he was thinking.
For how simple and upfront with everything as he was, Natsu was just as much of a mystery in some ways.
"Natsu, what do I look like?" She asked him seriously instead of answering, purposefully dodging the question for now, instead, Lucy wondered if he would remember the moment in Stella after his transformation when he asked her the same thing.
Natsu looked at her with a burning intensity for a fleeting second, before his grip tightened on her arm and he smiled at her so big that she could see his fangs.
"Like Lucy of course." He answered simply and nodded his head, his hand moved from her right to her left and he entwined their fingers together as he pulled her down the street in his usual fashion, albeit slower due to his wounds.
"Let's go and find the others, I think I can smell most of them." He said with a smile and Lucy couldn't help but smile back.
"Aye Sir!" Happy cried from his arms and jumped from Natsu's shoulder, his wings sprouting as he did.
Gray followed closely next to them without a word, keeping pace with ease.
They made their way through the city and managed to find the group that had gathered in the square, Lucy spotted Cana and Gildarts huddled together as they approached, as well as Mira and Lisanna hugging and crying while Elfman's large form was peeking somewhere else in the crowd but she could see he was alive and well and so was the thunder squad.
She could see Fried and Bickslow fussing over Laxus, as well as Levy, Lilly, Gajeel along with Jet, and Droy were all sprawled out on the ground, looking beat but just seemingly in the present trying to digest and make sense of all that happened to them.
Many of the others were also scattered around embracing each other, it was such a merry scene that warmed Lucy's heart. It was a beautiful thing to see everyone reunited and happy.
As they made their way forward to where their family was Lucy felt a sudden shiver of dread down her spine and in her gut, it was inexplainable but somehow the feeling grew heavier and heavier with each step she took forward until finally, the other shoe dropped.
There was a thundering shriek that pierced through the air, causing buildings around them to shake and the volume of it had mages covering their ears as everyone started looking around for the source of the sound.
A crack appeared in the sky above them and Lucy watched absolutely petrified from horror as two things happened simultaneously.
One was watching one of her living nightmares come to life in the face of Acnologia materializing from what looked like a rift of sorts.
The other was seeing and feeling as Natsu faded from where he was standing in front of her. His body dematerializing before she could even react.
The sound of Happy's cry felt like it was far away, barely even registering over the sound of her own heart pounding in her chest and ears.
Lucy felt a wave of absolute despair wash over her as she stared at the spot from where her pink-haired dragon slayer vanished in a flash.
This couldn't be happening. He was just there, walking and talking.
Why would this be happening now?
Was the universe and the gods so cruel that they would let her put her guard down and lull her into a false sense of security before ripping him away from her?
There was a presence at Lucy's side, cold hands gripping her left shoulder, Gray probably, but she was set on ignoring him. While the earlier suspense and despair when the book vanished left her feeling indignant and ready to tear down the world, this time she was seconds away from just giving up entirely, letting the dragon kill her and just be done with it, but then she heard Levy's voice crying out through the streets.
"Gajeel!" Lucy's head snapped in their direction and she watched as the iron dragon slayer disappeared in the same way Natsu did.
And then Evergreen and Fried voice's followed through the crowd as their leader too vanished in a flash of light. "Laxus!?"
Lucy felt the sense of dread die down a little as she realized that maybe Natsu's sudden disappearance wasn't tied to the book, not if all of Fairy Tail's dragon slayers were also gone.
However she didn't see Wendy anywhere in the crowd earlier, and as she was looking around for the you g bluenette, Lucy spotted Erza and Jellal waving through the crowd instead, leaning and supporting each other as they did. Their course was set directly towards where she and Gray were.
"Thank Mavis, we found you." Jellal said as they stopped in front of Lucy, Happy, and Gray.
Erza smiled at them, eyeing Lucy's wounds as she appraised all three of them. She and Jellal looked both worse for wear but thankfully nothing life-threatening as far as she could tell.
"It looks like everyone is mostly going to be okay, but we have a bigger issue on our hands, Acnologia has taken all the dragon slayers and is fighting them in a separate dimension, while his dragon form is trying to kill us." Erza was direct and to the point as always and at her words Lucy felt like someone suddenly stopped choking her and she could breathe easily again.
Yes, the thought of him fighting the most terrifying dragon she'd ever seen was, well terrifying.
But the thought of Natsu fading completely from existence was much more than terrifying.
And with all the dragon slayers that Acnologia summoned, Lucy was sure that they would be able to win.
I mean it's in their name, isn't it? Lucy had full faith that Natsu and the others would handle him.
The bigger problem was, how were they supposed to slay a dragon?
Even with Erza and Gildarts, their chances were slim, the Master is still out of commission and last Lucy heard Porlyusica said it wasn't looking good.
It felt like any attempt they made would be futile, they wouldn't stand a chance against him.
But, maybe if they can't slay it, they could do the next best thing.
"I have an idea." She said resolutely, hoping and praying to anyone who would listen that they make it through this.
***************
The overwhelming feeling of relief as Lucy watched the giant dragon fade away was marginally overshadowed by the fear for her partner and the other dragon slayers that were still fighting its counterpart.
Hopefully, the fact that Acnologia's dragon form disappeared from where they were keeping it trapped in the Fairy Sphere meant that the slayers handled his other form on whatever plane they were.
The question now was, how are they supposed to come back?
"Lucy!" Happy's voice came from her left and then the exceed was in her arms looking up at her. "That was a great plan Lushii, do you think Natsu and the others are okay?"
"I believe in our dragon slayers, there's no way they would get beaten by Acnologia." Lucy answered him, willing her words to be true.
When Lucy told Erza her plan earlier, it sounded crazy even to her ears. But the redhead had complete faith in her, mobilizing the rest of the guild and members from other guilds that gathered as the dragon appeared from the sky with ease.
Coordinating everyone to get in position and dividing people into teams so they could get the dragon trapped on the boat, and use Fairy Sphere to keep him at bay.
They found out from Sabertooth and Kinana that both Rouge and Sting were taken, as well as Cobra.
Lucy figured that the black dragon was so sure of himself that he could take down all the dragon slayers at once and the mages left in the square with ease. His stupidity and arrogance paid the price for underestimating them.
Fairy Tail's four were enough to squash Lucy's fear of them dying by Acnologia's claws, but when she found out the other three were there fighting with them as well, she unconsciously let herself relax a little.
Most of the people who gathered to help with binding the dragon were now celebrating around her, cheering, crying, and hugging each other, some were falling to the ground in relief and elation at the realization that the war was finally over over-washed them.
Lucy wanted to join the celebrations, but there was one thing that was still missing before she could, or a couple of things to be more precise.
"Any second now." She muttered to herself as she watched everyone with tears brimming in her eyes.
It was finally over.
But Lucy didn't dare let her guard down, still apprehensive to join in with everyone in their joy.
"Lushii, look! The sky is parting again." Happy's voice tugged her from her musings and she turned to look up, only to see the dragon slayers literally falling from the sky as various cracks appeared.
With her pink dragon slayer on course to fall directly on top of her and Happy.
"Natsu!" The exceed cried as he noticed the pink-haired missile flying their way so fast that Lucy didn't have time to move or try and dodge him, and then he was crashing into her, harshly knocking the three of them to the ground.
Lucy let out a huff of air as his body weight covered hers as a result of breaking most of his fall.
But she paid no mind to the sharp pain as a sunny smile appeared on Natsu's face, happy, confident, and completely content with lying on the ground wrapped around them as he looked down at her and Happy beaming. "I'm home." He rasped out as he tilted his head down to rest his forehead on hers.
"Welcome back." Lucy's voice was thick with emotion as she answered, she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, but the happiness that washed over her from having him back, for good this time, was currently overwhelming everything else.
"Don't scare us like that again Natsu!" Happy's voice cried out as the exceed wiggled out from in between them and moved to hug him.
"Sorry little buddy, I didn't expect that to happen. But we're all good now. Me and the others handled it." He smiled at the exceed and moved to hug him.
His smile was genuine, but there was an edge to his voice when he talked about the fight and Lucy couldn't imagine how it must have been for him, having to fight the man that killed his father.
"How's your arm?" Lucy asked moving back and going to inspect the said appendage, suddenly remembering the state of it when he appeared after his fight with Zeref.
"It's good, no need to be such a worry wart." He tried to tease as he moved his injured hand away from her grasp, but Lucy saw the pain on his face as he moved it, and it still looked pretty rough.
"We need to get Wendy, where is she?" Lucy was already in motion, ready to go and find the sky dragon slayer so she could help heal his wounds when a hand caught hers, his injured hand, stopping her from moving.
The look in his eyes was serious, there was an edge to it that she didn't think she'd ever seen.
"It was a very tough battle, let the kid rest. She deserves it, and I'll be fine." She watched him for a moment, his words washing over her before she nodded in agreement. He was right Wendy had fought so hard. Helping Erza fight against her mother, having her body stolen, and on top of all of that, she too had to fight the dragon that killed her parent.
Lucy felt stupid and selfish in that moment. She had completely forgotten about the other dragon slayers who had also lost their parents to Acnologia.
Gajeel, Wendy, Sting, and Rouge had all suffered the same fate. How could she forget such a thing?
"Okay, I can help then." Her tone was obstinate as she spoke, moving her hand to her belt.
As she pulled out Gemini's key, Lucy used the smidge of her magic that was left to summon the twins.
"Piri-piri, How can we help you today Lucy." They asked in unison as they floated in the air.
"Hello Gemini, could you please turn into Wendy and heal as much of Natsu's arm as you can?" Lucy half pleaded with her spirit, hoping she would have enough strength left to ease some of his discomfort.
"Of course." Said one twin while the other spun around agreeing with its counterpart. "Piri-piri." The pull on her magic was strong as they transformed into the bluenette and started healing, green hands glowing over Natsu's half-mangled arm.
Lucy felt a little proud of herself as she watched her spirit at work, she had held out longer than she thought she could, and Gemini managed to heal most of the injury before the copy of Wendy stopped abruptly and straightened so she could stand, offering the summoner a smile as they did.
"Most of the wound is healed. I believe that we should go now before you use up all your magic, Piri-piri." Wendy's voice morphed into the twin's echo as they spoke and Lucy nodded in agreement, feeling a lightheaded from the sudden movement. Her reserves were ridiculously low, and it was a miracle she hadn't passed out by now.
"Thank you Gemini, I appreciate it." She smiled at her spirits as she sent them back into the celestial realm.
"What about you?" Natsu asked, his eyes darting between where the spirit disappeared and Lucy, she turned to look at him in confusion. "What about me?" She asked in return, tilting her head to the side as she watched Natsu stand and flex his newly healed arm.
"What about your wounds, who's gonna heal them?"
His voice was serious and Lucy felt like someone pulled the rug from under her, all the adrenaline coursing through her made her forget about the hopefully bruised but probably cracked ribs that flared with every breath she took, the slight kink she felt in her knee after a nasty fall, and not to mention the wounds caused while she was rewriting Natsu's book that stung with every move she made.
"All of mine combined aren't as bad as your arm was, I'll live until Wendy's feeling better." Lucy answered with a shrug and offered him a smile.
He was frowning as she spoke, and she watched it deepen as he caught her wince slightly when she shrugged.
"Or, we could go and see the cranky witch now." Natsu suggested, crossing his arms on his chest as he looked at her.
Lucy was about to protest that she was fine and that all her wounds could wait till tomorrow, but then she remembered the mass that was inside of Natsu, and with the book disappearing, they needed to know if it was still there. They needed to know what she did when she rewrote his book, his life.
"Yes, we absolutely need to go see Porlyusica immediately, I can't spot her in the crowd, can you smell where she is?" Lucy asked, suddenly on high alert as she scanned the crowd for a flash of pink hair.
"Yeah, I do. She's somewhere over by the Cathedral, come on." Natsu grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd, weaving his way through it as he followed his nose to where the pink-haired healer was.
Happy followed behind them quietly, keeping close as they walked past their friends and comrades.
As they passed people on their way Lucy saw Gajeel on the ground, being hugged by a crying Levy and Lilly, a fond and soft expression on his face as they embraced him, the sight of them brought a soft smile to her face.
It seemed that something happened between the iron dragon slayer and the script mage during the war, or maybe even while they were working together during Fairy Tail's disbandment.
Lucy can't wait to get that information out of her friend after things calm down a bit. There was so much they had to talk about and she was grateful that they lived through this and now have a chance to do so.
She saw Sting and Rouge, who were surrounded by their guild mates, Yukino and Minerva as well as Frosch and Lector who were fussing over their guild master and his partner as the rest of Saber Tooth's members lingered around them, happy to have their dragon slayers back safe.
Asuka was reunited with her parents and Lucy watched with a smile as Biska and Alzak were rejoicing at the end of the battle with their daughter.
She spotted Wendy and Charla together with Jellal and Erza, the three of them fretting over the sky dragon slayer, who looked worse for wear and like she was going to pass out at any second, but the smile on her face was warm and bright.
Lucy felt warmth overwash her as she watched her family, beaten and bruised but whole, full of life, and enjoying the levity of the aftermath.
She was finally letting herself relax and breathe for the first time since Master Makarov told them about the threat of Alvarez.
Zeref was gone, the Spriggan 12 were defeated and Alvarez's army had pulled back after their Emperor's demise, and most importantly, Acnologia was dead.
He will never be a threat to her family again.
Natsu pulled her a little to the right, and as she spotted the old witch looking over some people who needed medical attention, as they passed mages left and right, Lucy spotted Gray and Juvia secluded by a tree together.
She saw Gray notice them as they made their way toward the pink-haired healer and she watched him stand up quickly so he could follow them, whispering something to the water woman before jogging up to where she, Natsu, and Happy were waiting for the old woman to finish with Warren and Max.
"Are you finally going to get checked out?" Gray's voice carried through the crowd as he moved to stand near them.
"We need her to check Natsu first and see if there's any lingering issues with the mass, and whatever happened when the book disappeared." Lucy told him, shooting him a look as he half-glared at her in turn.
Natsu dropped her hand at her words, tilting his head to the side as he looked at her with a frown, confusion written all over his face. "No, we're here so she can check out your wounds, Lucy."
It didn't go unnoticed by anyone within hearing range that he used her name instead of the usual nickname, and she knew that meant he was serious, but so was she damnit!
Lucy had been the one to rewrite the damn book, she was the one who had to witness it fade from existence and she was the one that had to watch over him as he lay there, unconscious as whatever the hell was in that book tried to take over him.
So there were no arguments to be had here, Porlyusica could take a look at her after they were certain that Natsu was going to be okay.
Turning back to her partner she readied herself for an argument over this. "I told you I'm fine. You're the one with the weird and suspicious mass inside of you that tried to take over your body! The book of END disappeared and we need to know if you're going to be okay!" She was nearly shouting by the end of her little monologue, and both Natsu and Gray were looking at her with wide eyes at her outburst.
There was a moment of silence between them, a moment where Gray stared her down with fury in his eyes while Natsu looked worried and like he was ready to fight her on this.
"Lushi.." Happy's voice sounded sad as he called out to her, making Lucy close her eyes, taking a moment to breathe and calm herself down.
Natsu was here, and Zeref and Acnologia were gone.
They're okay.
"You're the one who rewrote that book damnit!" Gray's voice made her snap her head in his direction, looking at him with wide eyes at his outburst.
"That fucking demon magic was trying to kill you while you were messing with it, Lucy! Look at those marks! Who knows the damage it could've done to you? You need to let her take a look at you."
Gray sounded more pissed than she's ever heard him, and Lucy winced as she watched Natsu's gaze snap from the ice wizard to her, eyes tracking the lines that his book left on her skin with an almost terror-stricken gaze.
"I did that?" He sounded horrified at the possibility and moved a step closer, arm moving as if to touch the wounds, but his hand fell to his side halfway through the motion as if he reconsidered the action.
"No, you didn't do anything." Lucy started to explain, but before she could say anything else the pink-haired witch appeared in front of them.
"What do you lot need then?" Porlyusica's voice broke through the tension and they all turned to look at her. The usual scowl painted on her face as she scanned over them, her gaze lingering on Natsu's partly healed arm and her wounds.
"We need you to take a look at her." Natsu said firmly as he moved to stand behind her, letting the healer have full access to Lucy. "She messed around with demon magic, it attacked her while she was rewriting one of Zeref's books." Gray explained as he crossed his arms and shot a smug look her way, knowing that Lucy couldn't get out of it now.
No one was stupid enough to argue with Porlyusica, besides Master Makarov.
The old witch shot Lucy a look, one that could only be read as exasperation before moving closer to check over her.
"I swear all of you brats are reckless with your lives." Half muttering curses, the pink-haired woman moved closer and started her examination of Lucy with her magic.
The evaluation took a few minutes, and the scowl on the healer's face seemed to deepen with every second that passed. Lucy tried not to think about it, focusing instead on the way she could feel Natsu lingering behind her the whole time, no part of him touched her, but she felt his heat surrounding her nonetheless. It was a comforting feeling that helped her relax as the older woman probed at her with magic.
After several minutes and one final scan of her body, Porlyusica moved her hands away from Lucy and took a step back, sighing to herself as her hand moved to rub the bridge of her nose.
"You lot, just as stupid and reckless as your guild master! And just as lucky as well, it seems that it takes quite a lot to kill you. He's lucky to be alive, and so are both of you." Her voice was chastising but fond at the same time, and Lucy felt relieved to hear their master was still alive.
In all the chaos with Acnologia, she never managed to find out what happened to him, but she couldn't help but notice that the last part of the older woman's sentence was directed towards her and at her partner who was lingering behind her.
"Me?" Natsu questioned and Lucy turned her head so she could see him, he was hovering over her shoulder and she could feel his heat around her. He looked confused, and his expression made her smile a little.
His eyes glanced towards her for a split second before he looked back at the healer and Lucy followed his gaze to where the older woman was looking at them with appraisal, and Lucy wondered what she saw.
"Yes, dragon slayer, you. Whatever your friend did saved your life." She answered Natsu's question before turning her gaze towards Lucy.
"I'm not sure how you managed such a feat girl, it would take great power and knowledge, but it seems that you are now his tether." Porlyusica explained before turning back to her partner.
Her words made Lucy's throat clench and her head spin.
Tether? What did that mean? Before she could voice her thoughts and ask questions, the other woman spoke again.
"Come here, boy." She called over at Natsu to move closer, and with a huff of smoke from her calling him 'boy' he wordlessly moved from behind her to stand slightly in front of the healer.
"Hmm." The pink-haired witch hummed as she started her check-up of Natsu. Lucy watched with trepidation as she continued the examination, her head swirling with questions and what-ifs. Fear and anxiety coiled around her for what felt like ages before finally, Porlyusica pulled away with a frown.
"Well, the mass from before has shrunk significantly, it's like it's being extinguished as fast as it's trying to grow. An endless battle of will and magic that seems to be keeping it at bay." The woman's sharp eyes turned to Lucy, boring into her as she continued. "That would be your magic. Like I said, you are his tether now."
Her tone made Lucy's chest tighten, the adrenaline from everything that's happened seemed to have left her and now all that remains is pain, exhaustion, and on top of it, confusion.
"When, when you say tether, what exactly does that mean?" Lucy asked as she moved a step forward so she could be closer to Natsu, their sides brushing slightly as she sought comfort in his heat, and the smoky, almost spicy scent that he always carried with him.
The one that she hadn't realized was so infused with everything she owned until he was gone and she was left with the fading scents and the tear-stained note he left her with that night after Tartaros.
"It means you ground him to his plane of existence. If anything should happen to you, his tether to life will also snap. It means that whatever you did resulted in his previous tether diminishing and allowed for you to take over, and while the previous tether was tied to the mass it only strengthened it, encouraging it to grow.
Your magic as I've stated before is now fighting it, keeping it at bay." Porlyusica explained, her tone was surprisingly soft as she spoke, and the look in her eyes was less of a glare than usual. "There's only so much I can deduce at this moment. For now, I can say that there are no malicious traces of dark magic lingering, you're going to have to come to see me in a few days so I can do a proper analysis, I've used a lot of magic these days I'm going to need time to replenish, rest and do some research."
Lucy didn't know what to feel at the revelation. It wasn't surprising to her that something like this happened, you don't mess around with dark magic without consequences. And this was no mere dark magic, this was Zeref's greatest weapon, the demon that was a nightmare to other demons.
Lucy was not stupid enough to think that she would get away with it with just some scars and the memory of the fear she felt while trying to save her very first true friend, the man she had slowly been falling in love with, probably since the moment she met him.
But this was different. This was something that came with severe consequences. If anything happened to her, Natsu would also die.
This thought left her in a state of trepidation and fear, her mind running wild with the realization.
"So, the reason the book disappeared was because Lucy is what's keeping flame-brain alive?" Gray's voice cut through the mess inside of her head and Lucy glanced at the man next to her. Natsu seemed frozen in place as he stared at the old woman and processed the information.
She wondered what was going on in his head. Now more than ever before she wished she somehow could peer inside and see.
"Yes, I would suppose so, if the book was his previous tether to life then once she tempered with it and took over, it had no reason to keep existing."
Lucy nodded her head as she turned the theory in her head.
It made sense. Lucy had infused her magic not just into the book, but Natsu himself. His essence was tied to it, and when she used her magic to rewrite his life, she had unknowingly tethered herself to him. Or was it the other way around?
Does it even matter now?
"I knew I felt you during my battle with Zeref." Natsu's voice was low as he spoke, and Lucy turned to find him still staring ahead, avoiding all their gazes. "I was down and the bastard almost had me." He continued speaking, hands balling into fists as steam started rolling off his skin.
"I knew it was you, there was this shift inside of me, and then this tingly and cozy feeling took over like it was giving me strength." He turned then to look at her, and his distraught expression caught her off guard.
"You gave me the strength to fight on and beat him. I couldn't have done without you, I knew that, but this?" He stopped himself before he could continue, his arm moving so it could trace around some of the marks on her shoulder.
"You shouldn't have done it Luce, it wasn't worth the trouble." His voice was quiet and soft as he spoke, but his words made her angry.
How dare he say that his life wasn't worth it.
"That's not an option for you to have." She almost snapped, her tone taking them both by surprise. "It was my choice to make Natsu, and if I had to I would do it all over again. Risks and all."
Lucy told him, making a point to maintain eye contact as she did because he needed to understand that if it meant saving his life, there was no risk she wasn't willing to take. "Look at me in the eyes and tell me that you wouldn't have done the same for me?" She challenged him with a raised brow and he stilled at her words.
His eyes were sad as he looked at her, scanning the marks on her body as he struggled to accept her words.
"It's not the same." He shook his head as he spoke, his voice so quiet that she almost didn't hear him, and the words made her heart clench. "No, it's worse." She shot back with a glare, feeling complete disbelief that they were having this argument.
How could he feel like his life means nothing? Is he not aware that everyone would be devastated if anything happened to him? Does he not understand that she and Happy would be completely lost without him?
Anger and sadness raged against each other as Lucy watched Natsu's shock at her retort, eyes widening for a moment before his frown took over.
"That's enough you two, I have other patients to attend to, let me treat your wounds and then you can continue arguing like children." Porlyusica's voice cut off any retort Natsu was going to send her way and she didn't know whether to be relieved or angry.
She didn't want to fight with Natsu, but at the same time, she needed to get it through his thick skull that his life does matter. Not just to her but to everyone in the guild and beyond it, all the friends they made along their many adventures and all the people they helped save.
His life mattered and it was worth fighting for.
The old woman seemed to be back to her cranky and angry self, and Lucy didn't want her to piss her off anymore than they already have, so as she motioned for the two of them to come closer she complied without a word.
She went for Natsu first, inspecting his arm. "It's mostly healed, this salve should take care of any discomfort, and you can use it on the rest of your bruises as well." She wrapped a portion of his arm after applying said salve, giving him instructions on how to care for his injuries as she bandaged it, and Lucy made sure to listen carefully because she knew he wasn't going to.
"And you," Porlyusica turned her attention to Lucy. "Your ribs are fractured in several places, so I need to bind them." They stood in silence as the healer applied something to both of her sides before wrapping bandages around her ribs, and handing her a jar of something. "You can use this on your knee to take down the swelling and as for those..." The old woman trailed off as she gestured at the marks made by END.
"I'm not sure there's much anyone can do about them. They don't feel like an ordinary wound, and I'm willing to bet it won't heal like one either." She spoke the words almost gently as if trying to break the news to Lucy.
But it was hardly a surprise to the celestial mage, she knew the moment they appeared burning into her skin that there was no turning back. So she pushed her shoulders back and lifted her head so she could look the woman in the eyes.
"I did what I intended to do, if a couple of scars are my payment for such a thing then so be it." Lucy answered the woman honestly and with a smile and turned to look at her partner standing next to her, staring at her with an unreadable expression. He was beaten and bruised, having just fought off not only his immortal menace of a brother but also the fucking so-called called Dragon King.
But he was still breathing and he was still Natsu.
And that's all that matters.
So if she had to bear the scars of her victory, she would do so with pride. Because she is proud of both of them for continuing to fight and make it out the other side together.
It's always more fun when they're together, after all.
The old woman looked between her and Natsu, and for a moment the scary witch looked almost melancholic and fond, a small smile pulled on one side of her face. It was gone as abruptly as it appeared and the pink-haired woman was back to her usual scowl as she clicked her tongue.
"So be it, like I said I'm not sure how much the salve will help but it is my best work. And my best is unmatched." Lucy nodded at her, fighting the urge to salute the old healer for some reason.
"Thank you, we truly appreciate it and know what an honour it is." Her words made the woman tut in exasperation and wave them off with her hands.
"Just get out of my hair you brats, go and bother someone else, or better yet, go home and rest." The healer dismissed them and moved on to the other mages in need of help.
Gray shifted on his feet in place as he looked between Lucy, Natsu, and the weird tension that was now building between them. "Well, that was unexpected." His tone was awkward as he spoke and it made Lucy want to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, she bit down the hysterical need to giggle and knew from the way her mind felt hazy that she needed sleep.
"I'm going back to Juvia." He moved to walk away before pausing. "Natsu, can I talk to you for a second?" The ice mage inclined his head and Natsu moved to follow him with a brief glance back at Lucy.
"Lushi, can we go home now?" Happy asked from where he was standing and Lucy bent down to pick him up. "Yes, I think we all deserve some rest, everything else can wait until tomorrow don't you think?" She asked and hugged him close as she looked over at where Natsu and Gray were having a seemingly heated conversation.
Lucy couldn't make out what they were talking about, but by the looks of it, this wasn't their usual pissing contest. She caught Gray gesturing towards her and Happy a few times, and Natsu all but setting the other man on fire by the end of it.
"Well fuck if I ever try to help you again!" Gray's voice carried through the street and Lucy watched Natsu flipping him off as he walked away. "I didn't ask for your help ice prick."
The whole encounter left Lucy feeling confused and a little worried, but with the steam that was rolling off of her partner, she decided to ask him about it tomorrow, for now, she followed him silently as they made their way through Magnolia, on their way to Strawberry Street and her apartment.
Lucy was glad that this part of town was spared from the attacks and that her home was still in one piece. The thought of her bath and bed was a dream come true and she couldn't wait to fall asleep and be able to rest properly.
As the events from the day finally started to sink in, all the turmoil, fear, and pain that she's gone through in a short amount of time. With the adrenaline rush completely fading, she was left almost dragging her feet as they arrived in front of the house.
Natsu, she noticed seemed rigid the whole time as he walked next to her. Posture tight and coiled, like a caged animal. It left her worried and perplexed as to what she should do. Not knowing if she should reach out to him or not.
He'd never lashed out at her before, but this felt different somehow, something was eating at him and he was on edge.
Lucy has never, and will never be scared of Natsu. That was a fact. But she was feeling apprehensive at the moment, stuck between a rock and a hard place. She didn't know if she had the strength to argue with him, and she was sure that whatever conversation they had about his mood would end in an argument.
Silently she hoped they could just shower and fall asleep, leave everything else for the morning.
The walk up to her apartment was quiet, besides the shuffling of their footsteps and Happy's light snoring. It was quiet as they walked in and Lucy made her way into her bedroom with Natsu following behind, she set Happy on the bed, not wanting to wake the exhausted exceed as she straightened and looked at her partner.
He was facing away from her, she could tell by his side profile that he was looking at her desk.
"I'm going to take a quick shower unless you want to go first?" Lucy finally broke the silence between them as she moved to her dresser to take out some clothes.
"Nah, you go ahead." There was an edge to his voice as he spoke and when she turned to look at him, she found him still looking away from her, posture almost frigid.
Lucy watched him for several moments, trying to decipher his thoughts in vain. He seemed so closed off and stiff.
"Okay, I'll be back in five." She told him slowly and assuringly, walking backward so she could watch him as she made her way to the bathroom.
He avoided her gaze the whole time.
Lucy sped through taking off her clothes and bandages, not even bothering to wait for the water to heat up properly as she jumped in the shower.
Sighing as the water hit her skin, Lucy moved for her wash cloth and body wash and began scrubbing off all the grime and blood that stuck to her.
Making sure to be careful on her right side, where the marks on her skin still stung.
Washing her hair without conditioner to make it quicker, Lucy sped through the shower and quickly dried and dressed herself, the only thing on her mind was her bed and Natsu.
As she walked out into her bedroom, using the towel to dry her hair Lucy yawned as the exhaustion started overtaking her body.
"The bathroom's free." She announced as she crossed the threshold, towel drying her hair as she looked up and around the room for Natsu.
Instead, she found an empty room.
Heart pounding in her stomach, Lucy tried to swallow her panic as she moved slowly around the room as if Natsu was hidden somewhere, as she looked around she noticed that the window was open as she made her way towards it. Amid the chaos in her mind, she noticed with a passing glance a piece of paper lying on her bed, next to a still-sleeping Happy.
Lucy fell to her knees at the sight of it, tears slipping down her face as she started feeling a sick and twisted version of de ja vu. Not even bothering to read the words, all she could do at the moment was break down and try to swallow her sobs.
It felt like a long time coming.
Even with all the good that happened, the fact that all of her friends and family were still alive, they had made it through the war.
There was still a lingering sense of sadness and a touch of abandonment. Most of the latter was triggered by Natsu, but the rest of them too in a way.
The separation still stung. The fact that everyone just accepted their fate when the master disbanded the guild still stung, Natsu's abandonment combined with losing Aquarius left her a shell of herself last time.
This time, she had been petrified by the thought of him disappearing. Twice she had almost had a nervous breakdown when it looked like he had.
And now he had the gal to run?
Lucy felt like she was hyperventilating, trying to catch her breath and calm her mind. Reassuring herself that he was still alive. Porlyusica said that she was his tether to life now, so as long as she was alive so was he.
After a few deep breaths, she tried to compose herself and moved to read whatever the bastard had to tell her this time.
'- I'm sorry I had to leave. I'll be back in a few days, I promise.
I'm sorry.
Natsu.'
A sudden burst of anger flew through her at the words that were written. She read and reread the note several times before she crumpled the paper in her hands and shot up, moving hastily to her drawer of clothes, changing swiftly out of her pajamas into a top and shorts.
The hell he was just going to leave her with nothing but a piece of paper again.
She didn't care if he was coming back tomorrow, in a week, month, or ever. She wanted him to look her in the eyes and tell her that.
None of this bullshit anymore.
Lucy debated on waking up Happy but decided against it, the exceed went through a lot today and fought so hard, that she knew he was exhausted.
As she left her apartment, both of his notes crumpled into her pocket, Lucy felt stumped as she stopped her steadfast trek.
How was she supposed to find him?
He said he would be back in ' a few days ' which hopefully meant that he wouldn't go far. Not to mention that he still hasn't showered or changed his clothes.
Not even he would just up and leave without changing and packing a little. With that realization, Lucy started running towards his house, hopeful that he was still there.
Even if he didn't intend to stay long, he would need time to clean up and pack, so she needed to be fast.
The adrenaline of the situation helped with her exhaustion and gave Lucy the burst of energy that she needed to make the trek from her apartment to his cottage in the woods.
Her thoughts were running faster than her as she raced through the forest, her emotions torn between fuming with anger and sadness, almost despondent and confused.
Panting as she approached the stone house, Lucy saw the smoke coming out of the chimney and her shoulders fell in relief, the feeling was incredibly short-lived as fury overtook her and she moved with quick steps to the door.
Not bothering to knock or announce herself, he probably heard her coming anyway, so she barged into his house, letting the door slam as she entered and scanned the living area for him.
"Who the hell-Lucy?" His voice came from the bathroom and he was half-dressed when he entered the room, looking at her with a mix of apprehension and fear. "What are you, I mean didn't you see the note I left?" He looked spooked to see her standing there in his house, eyes wide and shifting around, as if looking for a way out, again reminding her of a caged animal.
"Oh I saw your note, that's why I'm here." Lucy shook with barely contained rage as she stalked towards him slowly but with determination, reaching into her pocket she pulled out both of his dumb fucking notes and slapped them into his chest when she was standing in front of him.
"You are a fucking coward Natsu Dragneel." She spat at him with tears in her eyes as the notes fell to the ground between them.
Natsu was motionless as he watched her, just standing there, completely perplexed and weary which pissed her off even more. "How dare you do this again?" Lucy's words caught in her throat as the fear of losing him crept back to the surface.
"I had to watch that book disappear, had to live with the thought of you being gone, not once but twice in the span of half an hour! Do you have any idea what that's like? Thinking that I failed to save you." She was ranting now, words coming out without filter as all her emotions started flowing out.
Something she said must have hit a nerve because it brought Natsu out of his shock and straight into anger.
"Do I have any idea what that's like?" His voice was cold, and almost mocking as he repeated her question back to her and it caught Lucy by surprise.
They had never fought before, verbally or physically. Sure they exchanged bars and insults, and he knew how to push every single one of her buttons to annoy her. But they never argued, and certainly not like this.
Not with words intended to cut.
Taking a step back Lucy watched as he clenched his jaw and the fist at his side, rolling his shoulders as if he couldn't keep still. Her anger was still present and burning but the situation had gotten out of her control and they were in unknown territory now.
"I have a crystal clear picture of that reality Lucy, don't you worry." His tone felt like a slap to the face and she didn't know where to go from here.
Natsu took a step closer to her, closing the gap between them as he lowered his head slightly so they were face to face.
"You had to live with the idea that I was gone? I had to watch you die." His voice was low and rough and his words built a lump in her throat as he spoke.
"I had to watch you die once, had to watch you sacrifice your life for your own, in hopes of a better future for all of us and I was helpless to do anything to save you." Natsu's voice caught slightly at the end of the sentence and he closed his eyes for a moment before shaking his head, as if banishing the images away, and looked back at her again with burning eyes.
Lucy watched him with a heavy heart as she remembered that awful and traumatic event during the Grand Magic Games.
Seeing herself die was an unreal and incomprehensible experience, one that she was never going to forget. She still had nightmares sometimes, but she never thought about how it affected Natsu.
It seemed to have left him traumatized as well.
"And then I had to wake up in that fucking place where you were all bloody and motionless and it was like the Grand Magic Games all over again but it was worse this time," Leaning back slightly so he could let her see the pain and fear on his face. "Because this time it was you that I thought was dead, not a future version."
He stopped for a moment as if hesitating. "My Lucy,
And you know what happened after that."
The memory of his fight with Grey sent a shiver down her spine, they had almost killed each other.
He had almost fully transformed into END and was ready to take out Zeref and himself.
Lucy was overwhelmed with the idea that her perceived death was the trigger for such a response and her head was left spinning. Her anger won out in the end.
"Then why the fuck did I walk out of my bathroom earlier and find a stupid note on my bed instead of you?" Lucy shot back as the anger roared inside her all over again, he wasn't making sense. "You couldn't wait and tell me that you need a few days to my face?" Her voice quivered slightly, it was hard to hold back tears, after such an emotionally draining day.
"What do you think it was like for me, walking out of that bathroom to find that you were gone after what happened today?
What do you think it was like the first time that happened, after Tartaros, when I came home to an empty apartment and a fucking note from you? Do you know how far I ran in hopes of catching up to you? And now you have the gal to pull the same stunt?"
He flinched slightly at her words, frowning as he went to say something, but she cut him off.
"No, no more bullshit, no more excuses. You may be brave enough to fight some of the strongest wizards in this world and others, but if you can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you're leaving then you're nothing more than a coward."
Lucy felt the fight leave her completely as most of her feelings came pouring out, she moved to cross her arms in hopes of keeping herself upright. The events of the day and this argument with Natsu left her feeling completely drained.
There was a moment of silence between them, a moment in which Natsu just watched her with an expression she'd never seen before.
That seemed to be happening a lot today.
"Luce..." His voice was hesitant as he used the nickname only he called her, and it made her chest tighten.
"I am a coward, a selfish fucking coward." He moved his hand slowly before it was hovering over her right cheek as his eyes bore into hers.
"I'm a coward because I left without talking to you. I knew that if I told you I was leaving, you would want to come with me." His words affirmed her thoughts behind his actions and it stung. "You didn't want to tell me no." She said softly as a few tears fell down her cheeks.
His warm fingers danced on her skin as he moved them to wipe them away, the feeling of them was warm and gentle, making her shut her eyes at the sensation and lean in slightly.
"I knew I wouldn't be able to." He admitted in an equally soft voice and it made her open her eyes so she could look at him.
"That's where the selfish part comes in." He moved his fingers from where they were gently caressing her cheek to move a strand of hair behind her ear. "If you asked to come with me, I wouldn't have been able to say no. So I took the easy way out." He explained with a sigh.
"I had to leave. After everything that happened with Tartraos and then with Acnologia and Igneel... I couldn't stay in Magnolia, I had to leave to become stronger. And I never thought the guild would disband. I never thought I was leaving you alone. For that I'm sorry." His confession was earnest and spoken softly but with determination, and it made Lucy's heart race at the pleading look in his eyes.
Lucy could understand where he was coming from, she would have understood then too. She would have been angry and hurt but if he had told her even a fraction of what he's told her now she wouldn't have pushed. She would have also appreciated the truth.
She forgave him the moment she saw him standing in that half-melting arena in Crocus, but Lucy still felt a bit lighter knowing his thought process.
"And today after having to fight my immortal brother and the man who killed my father, after finding out that a part of me did this to you..." His fingers grazed her right arm gently as he spoke, tracing his fingers over the marks caused by the demon magic.
"I did this to you. While you were trying to save me, I was trying to kill you." His hand dropped from her arm and he took a step back, head turning to the side as he looked away from her with a clenched jaw and clenched fist.
"You didn't do this Natsu, you didn't do anything but fight for the people you love and try to survive. I don't blame you for this. I don't care about any of it. Don't you understand that I would've sacrificed my life if it meant saving yours?" Lucy's tone was cautious as she spoke, tightening her arms around her.
"That's the point!" Natsu exclaimed suddenly, startling her as he turned to look at her with wide eyes. "Even after all my training, I wasn't able to keep you safe! I left so I could grow stronger and I still wasn't strong enough." His chest was heaving a bit by the time he finished talking, rising and falling rapidly as he stared her down.
Lucy watched him with a heavy heart, wanting to reach out and comfort him but not knowing how he would take it. "Natsu.." She tried composing her thoughts.
This was a side of her partner that she'd never seen, this wild-eyed, scared, and almost despondent side of him that made her want to hug him and never let go.
He carried too much weight on his shoulders. For all his boisterous attitude and feigned stupidity, Natsu holds himself to an impossible standard and has an unwilling determination to throw himself into the deadliest situations in hopes of saving the people he loves.
He felt like he needed to protect everyone, but someone had to protect him. Lucy needed him to understand, so she moved forward and took him by the shoulders so he was looking at her.
"That isn't how this works Natsu." She gestured between them. "We keep each other safe, it's a two-way street. You have my back and I have yours," Her tone determined as she spoke. "Because none of it matters if you're not right here next to me." Lucy tried to get him to understand, willing him to see that none of what happened was his fault, they're all victims of their circumstances.
"I feel like I failed, and now you're tied to me forever in this twisted way. I never wanted it like that, it should have been your choice." Natsu's voice was devastatingly small with his admission and his words almost broke her heart.
How could he not understand?
"You're dumber than I thought if you can't see that that was me making a choice." She squeezed his shoulders a little as she spoke, trying to emphasize her words.
"I would make that choice every time if it meant saving you. The only thing that scares me is that now if anything were to happen to me, you'd be gone too..." Lucy shook her head at the thought. "Everyone knows that I'm nowhere near as strong as the rest of the guild, it's terrifying to think that one mistake on my part could end both of our lives."
The words hung between them, suffocating Lucy as she waited for him to say something, hoping she didn't screw this up. They couldn't stop now, not when they were already in so deep.
This conversation was a long time coming, maybe too long, and what is that thing people say? In for a penny in for a pound?
"Now who's being stupid?" Natsu flicked her forehead before moving to smooth over her hair. "You're one of the strongest people I know Luce. There isn't anyone else I'd rather be my tether, it's an upgrade from that ratty old book. And who said that you're not strong? Point me to whoever did so I can kick their ass."
There was a shift in his demeanor after her admission, a sort of ease that was missing earlier. He seemed lighter, almost back to himself. And while Lucy was happy to see him relax and let go of needless doubts, he should be taking this more seriously.
"This isn't a joke Natsu, I'm serious about this. You and I both know that I'm not the best fighter and if one small mistake on my part costs you your life..." Lucy chastised as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat, closing her eyes as she tried to stop thinking of it.
His forehead colliding with hers made her open them, his warmth surrounded them and the smile he gave her left her breathless.
"I am serious Lucy. You are one of the strongest, smartest, most resilient mages I've ever met. And I wouldn't want my life to be tied to anyone else, 'cause it's always more fun when we're together, right?"
"Idiot, I told you once years ago, didn't I?" Lucy said with a cheeky smile as she tilted her head so she could brush their noses together in a sign of affection.
"Yeah, you did." He repeated her action softly, rubbing their noses together before dropping his head into her neck, moving his hands so they were embracing her. She in turn moved her hands up his shoulders and into his hair, bringing him closer to her in a much overdue hug.
"So where does this leave us now?" Lucy asked after a few moments, her hands running softly through his pink locks.
"I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. Can we go back to your place and sleep?" Natsu almost purred out with a pleasant sigh, nuzzling further into her side.
"You'll be there when I wake up tomorrow?" Lucy asked with a light tug on his hair, pulling him so he was looking her in the eyes.
He grinned at her, that sunny, crooked grin that always had her heart racing in her chest as he answered her question.
"And every day after that. I promise."
