𝐍𝐎 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘, 𝐍𝐎 𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐘.
𓆩✩𓆪 𝐂𝐖 : nanaba x gn!reader, angst, hurt no comfort/no happy ending, blood, graphic injury & reader death.
Pain. It was the first thing you felt. Hot, suffocating pain shot through your whole body, like a burning fire.
You don't even remember what hit you, a loose branch, the whole tree?! You heard a voice familiar yet distant, desperate and echoing in your ears. Someone was calling your name, but it sounded far away, distorted by the ringing in your ears. You couldn’t move, couldn't breathe as the ringing worsened, overtaking every other sensation, then nothing. Everything was a blur, nothing but the pain to focus on.
You don’t realize how much time has passed, nor do you care. Until you hear it again, closer this time. Your gaze flits around, trying to find its source, the void threatening to take you, but you reject its call once more. When you come to, you find yourself on the forest floor, tasting the grass and mud mixed with the blood on your tongue. You grimaced, spitting out as much as you could, trying to lift your hand to your face, but it didn’t; all you were met with was more blood from the arm that once held it.
That’s when you remembered the horde that ambushed and decimated your squad. A titan knocking a tree down after being slain, and you shoving Nanaba out of the way. The rest eludes you.
You tried again in earnest to get up, hoping she was okay, but you remained pinned to the ground. It was the tree, and it had your lower body under it.
“Cadet! Damnit, where are you?!” Her voice is a lot clearer now. You can hear her boots hitting the wet mud as she continues calling your name, sounding frantic.
You tried to respond, only to cough up blood instead, the metallic taste making you gag as it sprayed against the grass. Squirming was futile, a sob wrenching from your lips as it became clear the fallen tree wasn’t budging, threatening to rip you in half whenever you tried. Nanaba must’ve heard your choked gargles, appearing at your side a ragged breath later. Her hands hover over you for a moment, unsure of what to do, if there’s anything she can even do.
After a few seconds, her hand found your uninjured one, grasping it tightly as she looked at the damage to your lower half, a mangled mess of blood and metal, hardly recognizable. While she tried to think of how to get you out of this and trying to remain composed for your sake she felt something, three weak squeezes of her hand, it was your silent way of saying “I love you” and with that, the dam broke tears now free falling down her cheeks her blue eyes meeting yours that were filled with affection and relief.
You had your head lying on its side just so the last thing you saw would be the woman you loved with everything in you.
“Why? Why would you do that?! Why did you shove me out of the way like that?!” her voice cracking as her grip tightened.
After another coughing fit, you found your voice, “A-Are you… okay? Are you hurt?”
Her eyes widened in disbelief, even while being half-crushed and actively bleeding out, she was your first concern. She had half a mind to throttle you for putting her life before your own, but your selflessness was one of the reasons she fell for you.
She let go of your hand before straining to remove the trunk from your waist. The ground was slick from the rain, gasoline, and blood, so when she pushed, it only led to her slipping and falling into the mud. Not wanting to give up, she got back up and kept trying.
“There’s no point, Nana, it’s not going anywhere and neither am I.” Your voice was barely above a whisper “You need to go. Get out of here while you still can.” The plea made her pause before she shook her head and tried to wedge her blades to hold the weight.
“I’m not leaving you here! I’m not going to just let you die when I ca-”
“Nanaba please, you need to go! There’s no point damn it! My legs are crushed even if I somehow survive. I'll be useless when more Titans show up and I’d get us both killed Please” You interrupted voice a bit louder begging her to listen.
It was getting harder to stay awake. Your head fell limp as you tried to keep your eyes on her while your vision started to fade.
Seeing this Nanaba rushed back over gently shaking your shoulder and begging you to stay awake until help arrived, or at least that’s all you managed to hear as fatigue started to take over and your eyes drifted shut and took you to the darkness once more.
Sharp pain on the side of your face snapped it to the side, wait when were you able to move? Your eyes opened and you saw more than one figure. Looks like the others managed to find the pair of you and helped her pry the tree off of you.
You were being cradled on her lap, one of her hands cupping your cheek, a soft sob of relief escaped her at finally seeing you awake.
“H-Hey, stay with me, okay? Keep those eyes open, focus on me” Her voice cracked in desperation.
You weakly raised your remaining hand to cup her face trying to soothe her as you always did when words became difficult, that only caused more tears to fall as she held it tightly to her face not caring about the blood staining her.
“Just STAY, okay? The medics are almost here, hang in there, don't fall asleep” tears were streaming down her face cleaning some of the blood on yours as she moved her hand back to pull the tourniquet as tight as possible trying to stem the flow.
“I-I’m sorry, Nana….I-” you got interrupted by your own harsh wet coughing as blood started to clog your throat.
“Don’t apologize just STAY AWAKE you hear me? Just a little more, my love just stay with me a little longer” Her usual calm and stoic demeanor was long forgotten as she tried to stop the inevitable
You cough a few more times, blood and spit landing on her pristine scout’s uniform and staining her hands as you try to stop gagging long enough to get your words out “I-...I love you.” The words were weak, just as weak and drained as your voice, but she heard them clear as day. The finality to your voice sent a chill down her spine
She let out a breath shaking her head rapidly in disbelief “don't speak like that you're not going anywhere I won't forgive you so you better not go. You have to stay. I love you too” her voice cracked as she spoke, struggling to speak without the lump in her throat.
With a nod you tried your hardest to stay awake for her but the exhaustion was catching up to you as you fought to keep your eyes open.
“Promise me… you'll live” you rasped out as you started to lose consciousness.
“I need you here you can't-” she was interrupted yet again by your voice that was barely audible at this point your eyes just barely cracked open. “Promise me.”
As more tears flowed down her face, she agreed, kissing your forehead one last time as you went limp in her arms.
Her breath caught in her throat as she pulled back, noticing your eyes were closed and your face slackened. You almost looked peaceful, like you were sleeping in the afternoon sun after a long, treacherous mission and not—
She shook you gently, her heart racing with denial.
‘No..nonononono’ the shaking grew more frantic and harsher as the reality started to set in that you had fallen unconscious
“Come on, come on, wake up, WAKE UP!” She sounds hysterical as she continuously taps your face, trying to get some sort of response.
"You're not leaving me. Please, just stay awake."
The desperation in her voice was palpable. She gripped your hand tighter, her eyes locked on yours as she willed you to hang on. Her tears fell unbidden, streaking through the grime and blood on her face.
"We've made it through so much together. You're NOT going to throw it all away like this! Not when we're THIS close! Don't give up on me now, Cadet."
She reached out with her free hand, gently cupping your face. The pain in her voice could be felt by everyone else there.
After a while, she leaned closer, putting her ear next to your mouth and nose and waited with bated breath for some kind of exhale, a gasp, a choke, anything to indicate you were still with her. All she received was a chilling silence.
'Oh by the walls... god please no not them PLEASE' her mind raced as her training kicked in and she checked for a pulse, nothing, GONE.
She took a deep breath as she unfastened the strap on your chest from the harness and moved your top out of the way, placing her intertwined hands on your chest, she began pumping hard and fast.
‘Don’t even think about it. You're NOT leaving me here’ she hit thirty tilted your head back and forced air into your unresponsive lungs before repeating compressions.
“Come ON damnit! Don't you DARE leave me here! Breathe, damnit, come on!”
Her arms were shaking, wrists locked, the bones in her hands screaming from the force of her compressions. Her breath came ragged and uneven as she tilted your head again, forcing another breath into lungs that refused to move, refused to listen.
“You made me a promise,” she hissed through clenched teeth. “You said we’d make it back together. You said we’d see the ocean—remember? You made me believe it.”
Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Repeat.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Each time she breathed into you, it felt like part of her was leaving with it, like she was hollowing herself out just to keep you here. Just to stall the silence. Just to delay the truth she refused to face.
"You saved me," her voice cracked mid-sentence, a cry stuck halfway between fury and heartbreak, “That should’ve been me under that fucking tree. Not you. It was supposed to be me—”
Her voice broke, a bitter sob tearing from her throat as she slammed her fists against your chest. Not to hurt you. To wake you. To will your heart to start again.
"You don’t get to die like this! Not when I still have your ring in my pocket!” she cried, her hand digging blindly into her jacket until her fingers curled around the small silver band—the one you’d given her just weeks ago, hands shaking, face flushed with nerves and joy.
She stared down at it with wide, tear-filled eyes before pressing it into your bloodied palm, closing your stiff fingers around it.
“You don’t get to propose and then just leave—that’s not how this ends, do you hear me?! You said forever. You promised me forever!”
But there was no reply. Just the hollow sound of her breath, the relentless rain, and the soft thud of her hands against your chest as she resumed compressions despite the tremor overtaking her limbs.
Her squad was there now, somewhere behind her. She could hear the shuffle of boots, the quiet murmurs, the unspoken grief creeping into the air like poison. But she didn’t stop. She couldn’t.
“MOVE!” she screamed when someone dared to step forward. “I said MOVE! I’m not done—they’re not gone—they’re not—”
Her vision blurred again, this time from tears that wouldn’t stop falling. The salt stung as it mingled with the open cuts on her face, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was the cold seeping into your skin.
“I know you’re tired. I know, baby,” she whispered desperately, lowering her forehead to yours. “But you have to breathe. You have to come back. I don’t know how to do this without you—I don’t want to.”
Her next breath hitched so violently it sounded like she was choking.
“I can’t be the reason you’re gone. Please… please wake up. If there’s anything in you left—any part of you that can hear me—breathe. Please, just breathe…”
She went to do another round of compressions and couldn’t.
Her hands gave out.
Her knees buckled beneath her, body collapsing onto yours as her strength finally abandoned her, her cheek pressing against your chest as if she could trick herself into hearing something. Anything. Even just one more heartbeat.
There was nothing.
No warmth. No movement. No miracle.
Only the horrible, irreversible stillness that told her she was too late.
Miche approached then, slow and cautious. He didn't speak—he knew there were no words that could soften what she already knew.
“Nanaba,” he said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder, only to feel her flinch like she’d been burned. She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t.
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t let go.”
“You don’t have to,” he replied gently. “But you can’t stay here. The others—”
“I said I can’t.” Her voice was sharp now, almost feral, but then it cracked again, broke completely as her forehead touched yours one last time. “They’re not even cold yet… I can still feel them. I can still smell them in the air.”
Her tears soaked into your collar, mixing with the rain, the mud, the blood.
After several more seconds, her body finally sagged, surrendering to exhaustion. Her face buried in the crook of your neck, she shook silently, her hand clutching your sleeve in a white-knuckled grip that refused to loosen even as Miche knelt beside her.
Only when her sobs turned to choked, hollow gasps did he wrap his arms around her and gently pull her away. She didn’t resist so much as crumple, the grief pulling her under with a force more brutal than any Titan ever could. As she was dragged away, her hand outstretched, reaching for you even as the distance widened, she managed one final breathless plea:
“Come back to me…”
But the only answer was the patter of rain, and the silence of a world that had already moved on without you, leaving Nanaba to finally accept that she couldn't save what was already long gone.
There was no victory. No glory. Just the numbing silence where your voice used to be.
The others stood in hushed reverence, heads bowed, unsure whether to step forward or give her space. Nanaba didn’t notice them. Couldn’t. Her world had narrowed to the stillness of your chest, the hand that had gone limp in hers, and the echo of your final words still ringing in her ears.
“I love you.”
She reached out once more, gently brushing a blood-matted strand of hair from your forehead, her fingers trembling.
“I promised,” she whispered. “So I’ll live, but it won’t be living… not without you.”
And as the sky darkened and the rain began to fall again, soft, steady, like the tears she could no longer cry, Nanaba sat there in the mud, beside the person she loved most, holding onto your memory like it was the only thing left keeping her heart from shattering entirely.
Because some battles were never meant to be won.
Only survived.
