How do you think would react Saeray or Ray if one day MC confessed him that she read his journal? F.ex in MintEye for some reason someone gave her TheSaeran'sDiary or after AE his new journal just dropped from the shelf, laid open and she read something that she was not supposed to read before she noticed what that was. I know that he probably has (almost?) no secrets from her. Maybe it was something trivial like "MC's last cake tasted awful but I couldn't tell her that so I said It's good" idk
Saeran’s original diary was left abandoned in his childhood home, as were the many notebooks that had been left behind by his brother that he spent a lot of his time trying to study and understand.
It’s possible that he was able to find the notes tucked away just where he left them when the RFA went together to try and investigate the household after the events of his Route. Ray had his own journal, as well, but it was built from the scraps that belonged to him when he was trapped in a room by himself, and his notes as he planned for the party coordinator to come and join him in paradise.
If he did find it, he would come clean to his MC about finding something.
He may not want to talk about it, but he would make it clear with you that it’s something that... he can’t really talk about. If you were to accidentally view the contents of his childhood journal, or what remained of Ray’s coordinates notes from Mint Eye, you would be surprised to see the downward spiral of pain that existed with Saeran Choi’s life.
He would likely keep all of his journals together, be it the new ones and the old ones. It would look out of place on the bookshelf, worn and frayed paper and that did not match the rest of the decor.
Reading through all of them would be a roller coaster of emotions that would likely bring you to the brink of tears before you even got to the end of the first journal. You could see how Saeyoung was trying to learn everything he could to protect his twin, how Saeran was trying to remain hopeful as Saeyoung promised they would be together again—
You would see the pain inflicted upon him and the others in Mint Eye. It would make you relive every horrible moment that you’d heard wrenched from his lips written in his own handwriting and it would hurt so much.
You would need to sit down for a few minutes. You would feel guilty for reading it without him knowing about it. But, as you went back to put them back where you found it, you came across another journal, this one much neater and in better condition.
You already had your hand in the cookie jar. His newer journal was filled to the brim of his feelings, photos of you, flowers that he had dried out and labeled in his notes. His was your Saeran, and while those earlier notebooks made you want to hold him tightly and never let him go, these personal notes of his made you love him even more.
Despite all of his grief and suffering, Saeran Choi had come out of those horrible memories with some good in his heart, and he was doing his best to be a better man for himself, not just for you for someone else. He wanted to be happy and he was fighting for that happiness. You could see it so clearly. Though he never lied to you, you could see his honesty.
You had a sinking suspicion he didn’t like that cake you baked. You knew you added too much salt. That coy bastard was too nice to tell you that you needed more practice when you asked him for constructive criticism.
Holding it tightly to your chest, you went to find Saeran and apologize for your actions. He was surprised to see you as he sat at the kitchen table, and his eyes rested on the books in your hands.
“Did you...?”
“I’m really sorry. I was cleaning up and one of them landed on the ground and I wasn’t sure what it was. I’m sorry for invading your privacy, Saeran. I wouldn’t want to—”
Saeran cut you off there, “There’s no secrets between you or myself, my love. I don’t mind if you read anything of mine. I didn’t tell you about what was in those journals because I wasn’t sure that I could look through them again. I didn’t want you to... feel bad about those memories because I’m happier now, I’m so much happier with you.”
You pressed them back into his hands where he looked down at some of the frayed paper. “I wouldn’t be who I was without these memories and experiences, so I don’t want to throw them away. I just... didn’t want to make you sad for the boy that never got saved.”
That’s when you stopped him, with a hand pressed against his shoulder and a smile on your lips. “That’s where you’re wrong, my love. You saved yourself from that place.”
Saeran chuckled. “You really have a way of reassuring people.”
“...And you have a way about lying to me about my cake, Saeran Choi, why didn’t you tell me I added too much salt to my cake batter?!”
“Oh,” he said. “I didn’t want to upset you.”
“I’m more upset that I could’ve been oversalting my cakes for the rest of our lives and you would be too nice to tell me.”
“...Should I have told you it tasted like ocean water?”
“YES!”
