stained: before
Harry unexpectedly caves in.
(part 5)
stained series <> part 5 teaser
word count: 5.3k
warnings/tags: harry x fmc, tattoo artist h, angst, toxic, brief mentions of body insecurities but nothing too intense
Being inside Anne’s home without her was sort of strange for Violet the first two days. She would come by in the afternoons for a couple of hours to tend to the plants and the cats. They had their wet food in the afternoons. Before she left, she made sure their dry food bowl had plenty in it for the night.
Today was another quiet day for her. One of the cats was purring at her feet beneath the table while she sat in the kitchen. Her sketchbook was opened to the spread she had been working on the past couple of days. She never finished a spread in one sitting. She always came back to make fixes and tweaks or change something entirely.
When her phone dinged, she didn’t expect to see the name that was displayed on the screen. She furrowed her brows and quickly opened the message. It was definitely not something she thought she’d receive today.
Harry: I’m about to walk in the door. Didn’t want to scare you.
Just as she sat the phone down, she heard the door open. It was a good thing that she was able to check her phone so fast. If not, him coming in would have terrified her. She gulped softly and sat up straight, nervously waiting for him to come around the corner. When he did, she felt her heart start to race.
Harry gave her a glance before heading to the sink to make himself a glass of water. She looked at his attire like she always did whenever they crossed paths. He was in a worn out tshirt and a pair of loose fitting dark jeans. His arms were covered by a thin, black unbuttoned shirt with long sleeves.
“How’s your tattoo healing?” He asked with his back still to her.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Pretty good, I think.”
Harry emptied the glass of water into his mouth and sat it on the counter. When he turned towards her, their eyes met and her face instantly turned red. She looked down at her open sketchbook as embarrassment ate her alive. He wasn’t wearing his usual black eyeliner, but there was a slight smudge beneath his eyes. Maybe he didn’t wear it every day, or maybe he forgot it today.
“Mind showing me?”
Violet was shocked by his question, but she was even more taken aback when he started walking over to her. She twisted in the chair, carefully grabbing the hem of her sundress. She revealed her thigh to his curious eyes.
“Oh, yeah. It’s looking pretty good.” He nodded as he observed the lines inked into her skin.
He couldn’t help but notice the fabric of her dress. It was covered in small flowers. He thought it looked nice on her. Florals and bright colors weren’t his usual choices or preferences, but she made it look intriguing.
“It’s been itching a bit.”
He moved his eyes up to hers. “Don’t scratch it.”
“I know. I haven’t caved in yet.” A soft laugh followed her words.
“I’m glad it’s healing well.” He checked the time on his phone. “I’ve got a bookcase to build.”
She watched him walk out of the room, still in disbelief that he chose to speak to her. Maybe she was just being hopeful and optimistic, but he sort of seemed less irritated than usual.
Harry kept to himself while he unpacked and constructed the new book case in the living room. Every now and then, Violet would hear the sound of him groaning in frustration. It made her smile each time. She stayed busy at the kitchen table. He blamed his mistakes and frustrations on her. Every time he misread the instructions or did the wrong thing, it was because he was thinking about her.
When he was in there with her, he noticed the sketchbook on the table. All he could manage to think about was what she was drawing or working on. Was it something for a commission or was she just having a meaningless drawing session? He craved to know what she was doing in there. Was she working on the page now?
Each time he would get distracted in his head, he’d huff out and run his fingers through his hair. Why was she so good at getting in the way? A few walls separated them, yet he was acting like she was sitting down on the floor next to him. She was physically out of the way but mentally driving him mad.
Why did he care so much about what she was doing? The better question would be why did he care so much about caring? Was it really such a bad thing? Treating it like a crime was making his life more difficult than it needed to be. The thought of giving in to his curiosity kept circling back to the forefront of his mind. Maybe there was a reason behind why he couldn’t stop thinking about the girl.
Violet took out the art book she brought with her and opened to the marked page. She had been reading about a sculpture she was doing a study of. The drawing was mixed in with the others on this spread. Her eyes were locked on the page, everything around her was silent as she read and studied the images.
“You’ve lost your privileges.”
She jumped at the sudden sound of his deep voice. Harry appeared in the kitchen holding both of Anne’s cats, one in each arm. He sat them down and shewed them towards the table.
“Stay in here with Violet.” He told them, sighing as he leaned up. “You’re both in my way.”
Hearing her name fall from his lips made her stomach twist. Did he really just say her name so casually? And did she really just have that strong of a reaction to it? Harry vanished once again.
She hadn’t even noticed that the one cat who seemed to favor her had disappeared from around her feet. She wondered how long he let them lurk around and pester him before exiling them from the living room.
An hour had passed by the time Harry strolled into the kitchen. Violet wanted to ask if he was done with the bookcase, but she didn’t dare open her mouth after hearing him huff at the sink. He filled the cup he used earlier up with water and crossed the kitchen. She felt her stomach seize up as he sat down in the chair adjacent to her. She gulped as his eyes fell on her sketchbook.
After torturing himself by trying to avoid thinking about her, he decided to cave in to his desires and talk to her. They were alone. Nobody was going to get in the way or mess this up. Nobody could make it awkward or take it the wrong way. There would be no teasing and picking from prying friends. It was just him and this girl he was so curious about.
“What are you working on?” He asked in a low tone, bringing the glass to his lips.
Violet felt a lump quickly build up in her throat. This was a dream. There was no way he was sitting down and trying to have a normal conversation with her. He voluntarily sat down and opened his mouth. No, this had to be a dream.
One of the cats jumped on his lap and started to nudge its head against his body. He gave it some attention, petting it lightly and scratching at the top of its head. Violet felt a warmth flutter in her chest. Something abot seeing him be so gentle to that small creature made her wonder just how hard his outer exterior really was.
“Um, I’m doing a study on Athena.” She finally answered, forcing her eyes to move back down to the page. “This sketchbook is dedicated to Greek and Roman mythology.”
He nodded slowly as he listened. “That’s interesting.”
“Yeah, I wanted to learn more about the stories and stuff so I figured doing a sketchbook would be the best way. I write a few key points about the figures and then sketch different representations of them.”
Harry admired her explanation. Violet was an artist. That was evident to him. Not only that, she was a dedicated one. He didn’t know it in the moment, but he was softening up for her. He wouldn’t care if anyone else told him that. He’d never ask anyone or even pretend to be interested. With her, things were so different. He craved to know every detail.
“Do you have your own representations?”
She laughed softly. “Well, that’s actually something I’m working on.”
A memory flashed into her mind of the day she was sitting at this very table, in this same spot, and he said something to her about not having to do studies because he had a brain to create his own things. It rubbed her wrong that day, really put a hole in her stomach. Now, it seemed as though his thoughts had changed. Or maybe, just maybe, he was being truthful this time. It was possible that rude behavior was his way of protecting himself.
“I have a hard time creating things on my own. So I’m trying to use the stories and ideas of the figures to sketch what I think they would look like.” She added before shoving her tongue in her cheek.
“That’s a good idea.” He mumbled back, his eyes fixed on the page closest to him.
He saw a very well executed sketch of a statue and one of what could possibly be of a painting at the top of the page. Violet’s sketches looked more like finished works of art than just a quick drawing.
“I’m sure you can create things out of the blue. I’ve seen some of your finished pieces posts online.” She said while picking up her pencil.
He watched her mindlessly wrap her fingers around it and shift it around. “I’d say I’m decent at it, yeah. But I don’t sit and draw for myself. Just for clients.”
She took a chance, mustering up all of her bravery, and looked over at him. “Why’s that?”
Harry felt his throat swell as her rather pretty eyes locked with his. He had noticed before how sparkly they were, but right now it seemed much stronger. It was like she was casting a spell on him. He was unable to look away.
“I don’t know. I do it every day at work. I don’t feel like doing it outside of work.”
She smiled at his reply. “Well, if you ever get the itch to.. studies are my favorite thing to do. I love picking an art piece to recreate or an artist to study their works.”
“I’ll consider it.”
He truly wanted to know more about her process and her art. Did she spend hours upon hours drawing, or was she more of a session person? How many times a day did she open a sketchbook or pick up a brush? Was she as much in love with painting as she seemed to be with drawing? He wanted to know, but he was too afraid to ask.
Violet broke their eye contact as she closed her sketchbook and pushed it out of the way. She stood up and walked over to the refrigerator. Harry tried to subtly watch her by barely turning his head. He wanted to lock his eyes on her and never look away, but that might seem strange.
“Are you hungry? I brought some stuff to snack on.” She said while opening the door and grabbing the glass container that belonged to her.
“Actually, I am. What did you bring?” Harry looked up as she reached the table.
“Some fruit.”
Violet sat the container of green grapes and cut up strawberries in the middle of the table and sat back down in the chair. He sighed at the very small assortment and shook his head.
“A bunch of healthy shit.” He said with a cock of his brow.
Violet let a genuine laugh slip out. “No, a bunch of healthy things your body would love to have for a snack.”
She popped a grape into her mouth and picked up her phone to partially occupy herself. She wasn’t sure what to expect when it came to Harry. He’s liable to just get up and leave the room any second. He watched as she went in for another grape. As she slipped it between her lips, he decided to get a piece of strawberry. He didn’t eat fruit a lot, but he enjoyed it.
“You don’t look like a health freak.” He had a light smirk on his mouth.
She swallowed at the comment. What did he mean by that? She thought about her body and how she might be more than average in some places. Was that supposed to imply that she wasn’t making healthy choices? It sort of made her uncomfortable.
“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be offensive or not.” Her voice lowered to a soft volume.
Harry swallowed as he realized how that probably sounded, especially coming from him. He didn’t quite have the most positive record when it came to talking to her. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. There was a sadness on her face that quickly began to haunt him. Sometimes he said things that were insensitive and he never would think twice about it, but right now was extremely different. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that to her.
“M’not tryna be offensive.” He kept his eyes on her in hopes of seeing her mood shift back.
Violet had a grape in between her thumb and index finger. She was rolling it against her skin, her eyes fixed on the green surface of the fruit. Her stomach felt very full all of a sudden. Full of nausea and anxiety.
“What about me makes you think that?” Her words came out in a whisper.
“I dunno. You just seem like you aren’t one.” He tried to be quick with a response, but it didn’t work.
That wasn’t what he meant to say. He was horribly failing at this. She furrowed her brows at his words, but didn’t look at him.
“I’m not. I just like these things as snacks.” Once again, she was mumbling her words and barely using her voice as she spoke.
“I didn’t mean to offend you.” Harry tried again, this time it wasn’t as bad.
But he knew it could be better. He knew what he should say to mend this, to make it right. It was hard for him to get the words on his tongue. Violet gave him the quickest glance he’s ever witnessed.
“It’s fine.”
He watched as she hesitantly put the grape into her mouth. How was it possible that he made someone feel bad for eating fruit? He felt like a complete idiot. This girl wasn’t just some random person. He had a fascination with her, some would call it an obsession. How could he be this way towards her?
“Violet.” He blurted her name out.
From the corner of her eye, she saw his hand move to rest on the table, almost like he wanted to reach out for her. Almost. She held her breath as she waited for what was coming next. It could be absolutely anything. Harry wasn’t known for being polite and nice, even she knew that and they hardly knew one another.
“I’m sorry.”
Part of her, well most of her, couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She never imagined he’d be decent enough to say that to her. She hoped and wished he was a decent person, and a piece of her believed he truly was. She shook her head lightly, not willing to believe this was real.
“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” He tried his best to get his point across.
He had gone too far. He shouldn’t have said that to her. This was going to be on his mind for days, possibly weeks. Violet gulped softly as she collected her pencils and stuck them in the zipper pouch. Gathering her things and putting them into her bag felt like it was taking a century to do. Harry wanted to stop her, tell her it was fine to stay put, but he couldn’t open his mouth. Was she intending on leaving? He didn’t want that. He didn’t want her to go just yet. To his dismay, she confirmed his fear.
“I’ve been here for a while.” She sighed out as she dropped her phone into her bag. “I should probably get going.”
Harry sat up in his chair. “Why are you in a rush to leave?”
“I’m not in a rush. I’ve just been here for two and a half hours already.” She tried her best to ignore him.
If she looked at him, she might start to break down in front of him. She wasn’t sure how to feel about his apology and what he said to her. She was confused by everything now. Was he supposed to be mean or was that all an act? Was his apology just an act? Did he really mean it? She didn’t know. The only thing she knew for sure was that she needed to go now before she got too caught up in her head.
Harry stood up the same she did. “I didn’t mean to say that, really. You can stay here longer if you want.”
Violet shook her head. “It’s fine. I just need to go.”
She grabbed the container of fruit and pushed the top back on it. Harry wanted to grab her arms and keep her frozen in place, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He knew he was too intimidating. If he touched her like that, she might get very upset and afraid. He didn’t want that. He’s done so much wrong already.
“I don’t wanna run you off.” He said as she took a step.
She stopped, her eyes finally moving to his, but she didn’t say anything. He licked his lips and swept his hand through his hair. She set her jaw, refusing to respond to him. Everything in his mind was spiraling and going chaotic. This is what he feared most. He knew that he’d lose his control because of her. He’d lose all sense of reality. He’d be unable to decode his own feelings and emotions. This girl would be the death of him.
“What, you don’t want to talk to me?” He asked, his brows furrowing as he tried to understand this mess that he created.
Violet was just as confused as he was. What was his goal? Was he simply trying to make up for what he said or was this some sort of sick game. Was he just trying to get in her head? She sighed heavily, unsure of how she got into this situation.
“Well, I didn’t think you really wanted to talk to me.”
Hearing her voice felt like a relief, though her words weren’t something he wanted to hear.
“Why would I not want to talk to you? I’ve been talking to you this whole time.”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I just feel like you don’t like to talk to people that you don’t like. I’m not your client right now. You don’t have to pretend to care.”
Pretend to care. If she only knew. He stared at her for a long moment. She wasn’t necessarily sad anymore, but he could see the disappointment on her face. It was obvious that she believed the words she said. He wanted to admit to her how he really felt. He wanted to tell her that he spends countless hours thinking and worrying and wondering about her. He wanted to, but he didn’t make a real effort.
“When did I say that I didn’t like you?” He asked honestly, grabbing the back of his chair to grip something. He wasn't angry, but he needed to ground himself. “You seem like a nice person. Why wouldn't I like you?”
Violet huffed and rolled her eyes. He was surprised to see her display annoyance, but it made perfect sense.
“I don’t know. I just feel like maybe you don’t like me.” She felt childish for saying it, but it was the truth.
“Well, I never said that.” He sat back down in his chair, his arms folding on the table. “But if you wanna go, that’s fine.”
She looked down at him like she had never seen him before. She took in every inch of detail she could see. From his messy hair and tattoos living on his neck to the rings on his fingers and the way he was sitting in the chair. Maybe she underestimated and misunderstood him.
“Do you want me to stay?” She asked before she had a chance to consider the consequences.
Harry chewed on his cheek for a few seconds, then lifted his eyes to find hers. “Yeah. I was sort of enjoying having a conversation with you.”
Her heart started to melt as her brain processed what he just said. There was a high chance she was overthinking his words, but right now she didn’t care. She sat down, gently placing the fruit container back on the table. Harry let his eyes linger on hers. She didn’t have any intentions of breaking their eye contact.
“So, it is possible for you to enjoy something?” She grinned.
Seeing her features shift away from the disappointment and sadness made him feel a lot better. Plus, she had a beautiful smile and he liked seeing it. He lifted the corner of his mouth and pushed out a breath.
“Something like that.”
“Tell me.” She took the top off the fruit and grabbed a piece of strawberry. “What do you enjoy doing?”
He opted for a grape this time. “I dunno. Tattoos, sleeping, music.”
“Is that all?”
“Pretty much.” He chose to exclude some things from her. There were a few other activities he got involved with a lot that he didn’t want her to know about. They weren’t the greatest things. “What do you enjoy besides drawing and painting?”
Harry wanted to know about her. He didn’t want to talk about himself. Besides, if he was the one doing most of the talking, he wouldn’t be able to hear her voice. Listening to her and watching her lips move as she spoke was what he wanted to get lost in right now.
“Most of my hobbies are art related. I love reading art books. I love museums, both art and regular ones. Oh, and galleries. I love galleries.” She was beaming with joy at the mere mention of those things.
He liked seeing her like that, happy and full of life and positivity. It was no surprise to him that she liked those things.
“Galleries and museums.” He mumbled the words.
“Mhm. Seeing art collections on display is such a beautiful thing.” She nodded. “I get to see a vast array of creativity.”
Harry sighed lightly. “I’ve never been to those kinds of places.”
Violet gasped. “What? Never?”
“No.” He chuckled at her reaction, she was quite cute.
“That’s so sad.” She laughed, her eyes narrowing as her cheeks pushed upward. He thought she was so precious when she grinned like that. “You should expose yourself to more art. Like, other people’s stuff. Not just your own.”
Harry shook his head. “That’s not really my thing.”
“You should give it a try.” She said with a smile. “You might like it.”
“I don’t think I would like it.”
An idea came to mind, but at first she tried to ignore it. There was no way he’d be willing to go along with it. Plus, he might get the wrong idea if she asked him. She just wanted to be friendly, though. She wanted to let him know there were options and opportunities out there. So, she fought away the negative feelings and just said it out loud.
“There’s a new collection coming this weekend to my favorite gallery.”
Harry lifted his brows and gently smirked. “Is that your way of inviting me?”
“Well, no.” She smiled back. “I was just telling you about it.”
He gave her a soft nod. “Hm.”
Violet ran her tongue behind her teeth as she considered it. Getting to know him and become more familiar with being around him was definitely something she wanted to do, but she was afraid he wouldn’t want that. She was curious about whether he had actual friends or not. Did he go out and do stuff with people? Did he willingly intermingle with others? If he didn’t, could she be the one to change that?
“If you’re too scared to go on your own, I’d be willing to go with you.” She chose to give it a try.
“You want me to give in to your useless practice of staring at other people’s stuff.” Harry chuckled, his eyes crinkling as he grinned.
It was refreshing to see that. Violet took note of how different he looked. The dimples in his cheeks dug in as the corners of his mouth pushed up.
“I do, yes. Give it a chance.”
He looked down at the table suddenly, tearing his eyes off hers. “I dunno. It seems boring.”
Violet smiled. “You haven’t done it before. How would you know?”
“I just know.” He still wasn’t looking at her.
“You are boring, actually. You don’t want to have fun.” Her teasing was a risk, but she took it with ease.
Harry smiled again and finally placed his gaze back on her. Her cheeks were naturally flushed, her plump lips still grinning at him. He sighed back, shaking his head.
“Galleries don’t sound fun.”
She playfully rolled her eyes. “Once again, how would you know if you’ve never gone to one?”
Harry was partially in disbelief right now. It seemed that no matter how many times he refused, Violet wasn’t going to let this go. To say that he didn’t imagine doing something with her would be a lie. He could easily picture himself standing next to her staring at some boring canvas on a wall. It really didn’t matter what they were looking at. He wanted to be next to her.
“You’re not going to give up, are you?” He asked her with a lift of his brows.
“No.”
Harry sighed. “I’m not going to a stupid gallery.”
“Boring, stupid. What else do you have in mind? Pointless, uneventful, lame.” She named off similar words, her eyes searching the ceiling for more terms to use.
He stared at her features, taking in every piece of her like he’d never see her again. Were galleries something he would ever agree to doing with anyone else? Absolutely not. But something about Violet made it different. She made it possible, hopeful even. He wanted to know her, he wanted to be friendly with her. If doing something like going to a gallery would help him achieve that, then he was going to do it. Besides, she seemed excited about the possibility. It would be cruel to turn down her offer.
“Fine. I’ll go.” He said suddenly.
Her eyes went wide. “What?”
“I said.. I’ll go.” He repeated it, smiling as she grinned and happily clasped her hands together.
“Really?”
“Yeah, but if you keep nagging about how fun and thrilling it’ll be, I’ll change my mind.” His warning wasn’t cold, he was still smiling.
“It’s open on Sunday. The shop is closed then, right?”
He was shocked that she knew that, but it was reasonable why she did. The mention of the shop made his stomach knot up. If Niall found out about this, he’d never let it go. Harry tried his best to ignore that. This wasn’t about Niall or anyone else, this was about her.
“Yeah.”
Violet was quick to respond. “I can meet you there at 4. How’s that?”
He swallowed gently as his thoughts began to spiral. Was he really going to do this? Was she worth the hassle of doing something he wasn’t comfortable doing? Of course she was worth it. She was worth far more than that.
“Unfortunately, it sounds like a plan.”
The sound of an alarm going off in her bag interrupted them. She reached for her phone and cut it off. She had that set so she wouldn't forget to do something she needed to handle today. A disappointed huff slipped past her lips.
“Looks like I really do need to go. I have to run a few errands.” She grabbed her bag off the ground and put the lid back on the fruit.
Harry checked the time on his own phone. “I have a bookcase to finish.”
He watched as she stood up and slid the strap of her bag over her shoulder. He wondered if he needed to walk her to the door. Was that an appropriate thing to do or was that too much? He wanted to be nice but not too weird about it. He didn’t get up. Violet walked away from the table, a smile stuck on her lips as she replayed the conversation they just had in her mind. She got to the doorway when she thought about saying something to him. She twisted around, not expecting to see him standing up from the table.
“Oh, Harry.”
Her sweet voice caught his attention. He looked over at her, sort of surprised that she was still in the room.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.” She said with a soft smile.
Though she was very happy, she felt embarrassed about acting so giddy about everything. She toned it down for now. She could overreact and have a celebration on her own.
“For what?” He gave her a funny look, unsure of what she meant.
She gulped down that stupid lump that had been trying to form since Harry arrived. “For being nice to me.”
At first, he didn’t know what to say back. Usually, he wasn’t that nice to people and didn’t really care how his interactions went. Violet made him feel different, though.
“Thanks for staying and talking to me.” He hoped she knew he was being genuine.
Her smile grew just a tad. “I’ll see you Sunday. I’ll send you the address.”
“Alright.” He nodded lightly.
“Bye.”
Harry took a deep breath as she turned away from him. “Bye, Violet.”
Hearing him say her name was a wild experience. It felt like waves were crashing in her body, like stars shined in her eyes and the heavens opened. Maybe she was a bit dramatic. If she only knew he had the same experience whenever she spoke his name.
Violet was the complete opposite of everything Harry was. She was nothing like his friends, nothing like the girls he’s previously been involved with. She was kind, polite, and sweet. So sweet that it made his teeth hurt. She had this aura that was so captivating. She was pretty like the color pink and flowers and butterflies. She was innocent and joyful. Her soul was soft, her heart full. He couldn’t believe she was real at times. Perhaps she was an angel sent down to save him, to purposefully get in his way and make his life better. He couldn’t just see the positives, though.
What if she was a curse sent to make his life more difficult? She made things hard. She made his emotions and thoughts spiral. Everything and everyone around him would be at risk if he got close to her. He didn’t care anymore about the consequences. He wanted to know her.
[a/n: ahh im so excited for the next chapter omg. 5 is the last filler chapter.. things are going to amp up in the next one!! — this one is short but the next one will not be this short! I promised toxicity and angst and drama and betrayal.. you will get that] ** reminder, for the next few months patreon is being prioritized, so if you’d like to keep up with this series in real time, you can join us there!
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