Naruto drives like shit, he can't help it when his vehicle is just as shitty as his fashion sense. the friend group is excited to go to the bar, wanting to have fun after a rough exam week, only for Naruto to get pulled over on the way.
sasusaku x reader (hinted)
warnings; early 2000s, modern, college AU. this is inspired by this shit (its a tt, go watch it real quick lmao-)
The beat-up Ford Tacoma’s engine roared like it had a vendetta against the world as Naruto mashed down on the gas. The suspension groaned under the strain, bouncing over every tiny bump in the road, making your stomach do somersaults. You clutched the handle above your seat, the one clearly meant for clothing hangers, not for surviving high-speed joyrides, with every ounce of strength you had. Being in the back with Naruto at the wheel was always an exercise in chaos, and tonight was no exception. “Fucking naruto bro..”
Naruto’s driving was pure chaos incarnated. Somehow, though, the guy who once tried to race a dump truck across the village streets was… surprisingly competent when tipsy. Its the only reason why he was driving to the bar even though everyone would be getting incredibly fucked up tonight. After the bar, no one wanted to risk getting an uber. Naruto Uzumaki was the best drunk driver in the friend group. But sober? Holy shit he was ass. Sakura squirmed beside you, gripping the console like it could keep her alive. Sasuke, ever the calm storm, leaned back with an almost too casual grace, one hand braced on the truck frame above his head, the other resting lightly on Sakura’s waist.
You were seated right behind Naruto, Sakura in the middle, Sasuke on the far right, and Hinata in the passenger seat. Hinata let out a startled yelp as the truck lurched forward, her modest purple club dress swaying but still somehow managing to look effortlessly elegant, her eyes wide in panic.
You and Sakura, on the other hand, were dressed to kill. Your dress clung in all the right places, high slit showing off toned legs, almost showing your black thong, high heel boots threatening to make this ride even more dangerous. Sakura’s fitted black dress left little to the imagination, the way it hugged her curves making Sasuke’s hand lower over her waist as he held onto the truck frame above his head.
“Do you need me to drive there, you dobe?” Sasuke groaned, his dark gaze locked on Naruto, tension clear in his jaw. Naruto snorted, barely keeping the truck straight. “Nah, I got it!” He wiggled his eyebrows. He most definitely did NOT have the truck in check.
Hinata shrieked from the passenger seat as Naruto slammed the Tacoma forward, the tires screaming in protest. “Naruto! The brakes!” she cried, eyes wide as the truck dipped and lurched.
“Chill, Hinata! I’m just—uh—checking them,” Naruto said, grinning maniacally. “Yeah… just a little squeak. Might need new brake pads. No biggie.”
“You might need new brake pads?!” Sasuke hissed, his voice a dangerous low rumble. “Do you have any idea how close we are to being a viral video?”
“Relax, Sasuke. I got this!” Naruto chirped, waving a dismissive hand, barely keeping the wheel straight.
You groaned, burying your face on the side of your arm that held onto the handle above you. “Focus on not fucking killing us, Naruto!” Immediately after, Naruto hits a nasty pothole which makes Hinata suck in a breath, holding onto the front dashboard momentarily as she squeaks too. Sakura squealed and grabbed onto the console in front of her like it was a lifeline. You dug your right hand into her thigh for leverage, trying to stay upright, and she shot you a look somewhere between shock and mild annoyance. You slightly squeeze onto the flesh, provoking a light blush on Sakura’s cheeks. Which doesn’t go unnoticed by Sasuke as he scoffs.
“[Name], You’re not helping!” she groaned.
“I’m just surviving!” you yelled back, holding on for dear life as the Tacoma groaned under the stress. Its rust-speckled frame rattled ominously, the faded paint peeling in angry flakes. The truck smelled faintly of motor oil and old fast food wrappers, the windows streaked with grime that didn’t exactly help visibility.
Sasuke sighed, tightening his hold on Sakura. “You are impossible, [Name].” You gasp, lowkey offended. “I’m not the one driving like shit, Uchiha!”
Hinata leaned forward, clutching the dashboard harder like it could save her life. “Please don’t die before we even get to the bar,” she muttered, cheeks flushed. You peeked at yourself in the cracked rearview mirror, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. Even with the chaos, you looked… incredible. Hair perfect, outfit flawless, high heel boots balancing dangerously on the truck floor.
“Seriously, Naruto, slow down!” you called, voice half panic, half awe.“Relax! Nothing bad ever happens when I drive!” he said, eyes wide and completely oblivious to the havoc around him. The Tacoma creaked, groaned, and rattled under the strain, but Naruto drove on, blissfully confident in his questionable skills. Sasuke’s jaw tightened as the truck bounced over another pothole. “You’re going to give someone—everyone—a heart attack.”
“Only if it’s boring,” Naruto replied, beaming. “And where’s the fun in that?” You gripped the seat handle tighter, your grip on Sakura’s thigh almost bruising which causes her to yelp and smack your hand away.
The truck was so old that the back seats didn’t even have seatbelts—only Naruto and Hinata were technically “safe.” You gripped the metal handle above your seat like it was a lifeline, your heels precariously balanced on the worn floorboards.
Naruto, blissfully oblivious to the chaos he was creating, fiddled with the stereo. “Gotta make sure the vibe’s right for the bar!” he said, finally getting his iPhone 14 to connect via the Tacoma’s ancient Bluetooth. A classic 2000s jam filled the truck, and you couldn’t help but smirk when a particular song hit: “Damn If I Do Ya.”
Hinata leaned toward him, soft voice blending with the music. “I like this song…”
“You like it?” Naruto laughed, gesturing wildly while keeping one hand on the wheel. “Hinata, you have good taste! I respect that.”
Mostly, he yapped while she listened, occasionally chiming in with small comments. You focused on keeping your balance as the truck bounced over potholes, trying to make small talk with Sasuke and Sakura.
“You two are… kinda matching,” you said, nodding at Sasuke’s crisp black button-up and Sakura’s sleek little black dress. “Lowkey cute.” Sakura blushes at the mention, biting her lower lip as she slowly lets go of the console in front of her.
Sasuke’s dark eyes flicked toward you, sharp and unreadable, before he smirked just slightly. “You match perfectly with us too.” Your stomach did a weird little flip, your kitty purring upon seeing the look in his eyes. Was he flirting? Surely not, Sasuke wasn’t that obvious… right?
Before you could dwell on it, Sakura suddenly shouted, “Naruto! Slow down-there’s a cop!”
Too late. True to form, Naruto slammed the brakes, the Tacoma jolting forward as they barreled past the State Trooper with no chance to slow. The tires screeching loudly into the night. Your face is shoved into the back seat of Naruto’s driver seat, your face smooshing into it and you groan as a result. “That shit hurt-” Sakura’s body had doubled over the console, Hinata reaching over to cover the top of her head so she didn’t hit her head. Sasuke had fast enough reflexes to hold onto the seat in front of him, his fingers accidentally tangled into Hinata’s long hair. He quickly removes them as the truck comes into an abrupt “slowing-down” attempt. But unfortunately he had pulled on her hair. He mutters an apology as Hinata winces in pain.
Immediately, everyone went quiet, side-eyes flying between the backseat occupants.“Maybe he didn’t see?-” Naruto began nervously, voice shaking. Hinata’s hand gripped the dashboard, while the other was still on top of Sakura’s head, knuckles white. “He saw,” she whispered.
Everyone groaned in unison as red and blue lights flashed in the rearview mirror. Sasuke leaned forward, jaw tight, hand still resting possessively on Sakura’s waist as he aided her on her sitting back against the cushion seats. “I knew this was a bad idea,” he muttered under his breath, voice low and annoyed.
Naruto, still grinning nervously, stuttered, “Uh… maybe… maybe it’s fine… probably fine…” You exchanged a look with Sakura, your heels clicking slightly on the floorboard as reality sank in. “Naruto,” you said, voice flat, “it’s not fine.”
The Tacoma rattled and groaned as Naruto reluctantly pulled over, the engine coughing like it might give up entirely. You realized that surviving this ride was going to take more than just holding on, you were going to need a miracle.
“Naruto, chill-” you began, your voice tight with equal parts panic and frustration.
“I am chill,” he said, too loudly, too fast, blonde hair bouncing with the motion of the truck. His grip on the wheel was white-knuckled, but his grin was entirely misplaced.
Sasuke scoffed, removing his hand from Sakura’s waist with a deliberate huff and resting it on his lap, man-spreading in the cramped backseat. Sakura immediately closed her legs tighter, pressing herself into the seat as if trying to make him notice she was giving him space.
“Motherfucker-” you muttered under your breath, glaring daggers at him. Your hands curled into fists as you tried to keep your balance, heels precariously digging into the worn floor. Seeing Sakura squirm like that made your chest tighten, protective instincts flaring.
The sharp, heavy knock-knock on Naruto’s window made everyone jump. Naruto froze, the grin slipping into something more nervous, as he rolled down the window. Hinata quickly leaned forward, muting the music, whispering, “Just… keep calm.” Her voice trembled slightly, betraying her anxiety.
The State Trooper leaned slightly in, flashlight cutting through the dark night. “You know why I stopped you, son?” The thick accent made you purse your lips, trying desperately not to giggle. Sakura elbowed you sharply, eyes wide. Don’t make this worse.
All of you stared at the officer, hearts hammering in your chests. The red and blue lights bounced violently across the truck, reflecting in your eyes like warning sirens. Naruto’s hands remained fixed on the wheel, blonde hair falling into his face as he tried to stay casual. “No, sir,” he said, voice tighter than he intended.
“Your left rear light is out.”
You snapped your head around, heart skipping a beat. No. No way. The reflection from the patrol car’s lights confirmed it, nothing was out. “No it ain’t,” you said firmly, eyebrows furrowed. Hinata leaned back slightly, whispering, “It’s true… it isn’t.” The officer’s flashlight hit you directly in the face. You squinted violently, blinking against the white glare. “Ma’am, I’m gonna need you to stay out of this,” he said. Naruto scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Even I can see it isn’t.”
“Sir, I need to see your license and registration.” Sasuke’s gaze sharpened, dark and measured, a quiet growl in his chest. His father was a lawyer; he was studying law himself to continue the Uchiha legacy. “Naruto,” he said softly, voice calm but full of warning. Naruto waved him off lazily. “For what?” “License and registration, son,” the officer repeated, the light glinting off his badge.
“Step out of the vehicle for me.”
Hinata gasped lightly, hand flying to her chest. Your stomach dropped. Were they really in that much trouble? Sasuke immediately shifted, instinctively moving closer to protect both you and Sakura. His hand brushed Hinata’s shoulders for a brief, grounding moment, an unspoken “it’s okay” passing through the gesture. Then, without even thinking, he draped his left arm across the backseat, reaching toward both you and Sakura. His dark eyes darted between the officer and the group, calculating. If anyone tries something… I’ve got you.
You couldn’t help the small flutter in your chest as your hand brushed his arm—Sasuke being protective like this was… intoxicating. Meanwhile, your gaze flicked subtly to Sakura, noticing the way her eyes were fixed on him as well, the tension in her jaw softening ever so slightly as she leaned toward him without even realizing it.
Hinata glanced at Sasuke, her worried expression silently asking what they should do. Sasuke’s calm but steady presence seemed to reassure her, and you could see the tiny exhale she tried to hide. Your heart hammered, and your thoughts scattered: Why am I noticing how good they all look right now? Why does Sasuke look impossibly sexy in this situation? Sakura’s hair framed her face perfectly in the flashing lights; Naruto’s ridiculous grin was somehow charming; Hinata’s hands clasped tightly together as she bit her lip nervously. Naruto’s grin faded as the trooper’s gaze hardened. The truck rattled under tension, and even in the close quarters, you could feel the protective energy radiating from Sasuke, grounding everyone else—him acting as the anchor while Naruto flailed in panic, Hinata froze in uncertainty, and Sakura tried not to look like she was terrified.
You swallowed hard, voice just above a whisper: “This… this is really bad.”
Sasuke’s gaze flicked to you, unreadable but steady. “We handle it. Stay calm.” His hand tightened just slightly on your shoulder, a firm, grounding reassurance. “Trust me.” Naruto’s hands shook slightly on the wheel, voice cracking when he finally spoke. “Uh… I mean… it’s fine, right? Right?!”
Sasuke’s dark gaze hardened toward the trooper. “Let’s just… do what he says.” But beneath the calm exterior, you could see the protective fire simmering—over you, Sakura, Hinata… even Naruto, the idiot who had gotten you all into this mess. The truck seemed impossibly small now, the night impossibly loud, every flashing red and blue light painting your fear in sharp strokes across everyone’s faces.
Naruto slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, muttering under his breath, “Okay… okay… don’t panic… probably fine…” His confidence was about as fake as the Tacoma’s paint job. He swung the door open, stepping out onto the asphalt like he owned the night. The officer stepped aside, flashlight still trained on him, as if expecting Naruto to do something spectacularly stupid—which, of course, he would.
“What is this about?” Naruto asked, hands raised slightly in mock innocence. The officer leaned in, sniffing the air with all the seriousness of someone who’d clearly watched too many cop dramas. “Are you intoxicated? I smell alcohol on you.”
Your stomach dropped. You shot a brief glance at Sasuke, whose dark eyes immediately side-eyed you, a silent really? passing between you two. He was deadly serious, jaw tight, clearly calculating the situation. You forced your gaze back on the officer, heart hammering. Was this okay? Could he actually ask that? They hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol tonight. Not a sip. Not a swig. And now the universe was punishing them for it.
“Bruhh-” Naruto started, shock flashing across his face.“What?” you mouthed, voice caught in your throat as you tried not to panic.
The officer repeated himself. “Are you intoxicated?”
“Bro-” Naruto started again, voice rising.
“Do not address me as such,” the officer snapped.
Naruto froze. A solid second passed. Your eyes widened. Fuuuuuck. He was about to be so stupid.
“Naruto, don’t!” Sasuke barked, dark eyes blazing. “Please, for the love of God, don’t ruin our bar night!” Sakura yells out after Sasuke, groaning just as loud. Hoping that would knock some sense into Naruto. Spoiler; it fucking didn’t.
Sakura groaned loudly, running a hand through her perfectly styled hair, watching in horror as hours of preparation threatened to go down the drain. “Why am I even here?” she muttered, half to herself, half to you.
The officer, utterly unamused, repeated, “Sir, I’m going to need you to put your hands behind your back.”
“For what?” Naruto asked, tilting his head innocently.
“Sir, put your hands behind your back—”
Naruto, in a moment of pure chaos genius, pointed to the side, mimicked the officer’s voice in a high-pitched squeaky tone, and sang, “Put your hands behind your back! 🤓☝️” “Brother this fag-” Sasuke quickly reaches over to slap a hand on your mouth.
The world seemed to slow as the officer’s face shifted from serious to incredulous. One sharp motion later, Naruto was arrested. He was shoved against the passenger-side door—you could feel the cool glass pressing against his cheek as his hands were cuffed behind him. He leaned his head just slightly, smirking at you with those ridiculous, unbothered blue eyes. “Worth it,” he mouthed, like the chaos had been fully intentional.
Sakura let out a strangled scream. “Sasuke!” she hissed, looking to him for guidance as if he was the only adult in the universe capable of salvaging their lives. Sasuke exhaled through his nose, already pulling out his phone. “Yeah, yeah… don’t panic,” he muttered, dialing his father’s number. “We can’t even go out without Naruto getting us into absolute hell.”
You ran a hand down your face and shook your head. “I hate him,” you muttered, though there was no real venom in it—just disbelief. You chuckled a tiny bit, but Sakura’s glare towards you quickly shuts you up.
As the officer led Naruto to the back of the patrol car, you leaned back in your seat. “I’ll drive us,” you said, trying to take control, your voice a mixture of authority and exasperation. Hinata pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled softly. “Please… please be better than Naruto,” she muttered under her breath. And then, just for a brief, horrifying second, she thought to herself: She’s a worse driver than Naruto.
Sasuke’s gaze flicked toward you and Sakura, still protective, still unreadable. But you could feel it, the way he was silently making sure you were safe, even as chaos unfolded around you. You felt a mix of gratitude, panic, and something… slightly more electric in your chest.
Naruto, of course, had already started yelling from the back of the patrol car, giving the officer hell in his signature, ridiculous way. And you couldn’t help but laugh. Just a little. Because somehow, in the middle of all this disaster, it was so Naruto.
