#narzissismus

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Khloe and Lamars relationship seems so real and unique. They are honestly my favourite real life couple.

I want a relationship like theirs.

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After our long talk today, I just cannot look some people the same way I used to.

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I just fall harder and harder.

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I just want to feel okay again.

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Maybe you are the one I want.

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I push people away too much.

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I love the whole idea of having a boyfriend but...

I know deep down that I am actually such a terrible person. I am the worst person you would ever want to be with. I'll push and push and just keep pushing you away to the point that you'll get fed up of me sooner or later. I am always scared of liking someone too much that I will fall in love one day. I don't want that to happen. I actually never want that to happen. Why I'm so scared of love I will never figure out. I just am. I feel as if I'll just hurt who ever I'm with too much. I seem to worry too much over my feelings that I forget about the other persons. 

That is why I hate the idea of having "official titles", that is why I hate calling each other nicknames, that is why I hate just being with the same person over and over again. I can't commit to one person. It's just the way my mind is set.

Because I know in the end, I won't end up with that person. I will either find someone better or they will. People and feelings always change and I'm just scared one day it's going to happen when I'm with someone that means the world to me. 

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Ohh shit.

My Tumblr posts haven't been about a guy in a while. I think that wills tart happening again. I am sorry in advances.