Hi! Happy birthday! I hope you had a good one!
Hello! Hi! Hello hello hi! This was sent an entire month and a half ago bc that’s when my birthday was and it was very very kind of you to send it then but I was not a human at the time so it sat here all the while
I am.. slightly more human. I’m on new meds, I’m finishing PT, my blood work is coming back stable. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, I’m not at all where I would like to be pain and exhaustion wise, let alone concerning the brain. Tummy troubles is another matter entirely. BUT — I have hope of feeling more human for the first time in months and on a more macro scale for the first time since 2019
And I’m digging my claws into that hope. I may be gripping too tight, really, but I have to. I am desperate to not be [redacted] anymore, I am desperate to be able to look at a screen, I am desperate to be able to be upright a few hours a day. I have months of dnp to catch up on, months of friendships I have been a bad shepherd of, and it’s a lot. I’m not fully back up to steam yet, just typing this out I’d say I’m at 30% but here’s the thing: that’s like six times better than I’ve been for like a solid year or more, and especially the last nine ish months. So that 30% is feeling like 60000% (I’m great at math) and so though no I’m not going to be able to catch up on videos and instastories and lore and fic right away like I want to, the fact that doing so is on the table is Great. It’s great. I’m genuinely crying grateful tears at the thought of being myself again, even if only a little bit.
Thank you for the birthday wishes, thank you for thinking to send them :)
