Heart Slaughter
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A/n: very heavy themes, please be sure to read the warnings, but otherwise please enjoy🤍
Terry Richmond x Black Reader
Warnings: brief mentions of abuse and murder,Infidelity, Angst, Mental health talk,mentions of a cult and cult like behavior, 18+ CONTENT
Summary: Marriage was never advertised as being easy. But yours was perfect…in the beginning. You took your vows seriously and made your house a home the only way a woman could. Your husband on the other hand clearly had his own meaning to ‘love and cherish’ and now ‘til death do us part’ sounded like a nightmare. One you were having difficulty waking from.
You knew you didn’t have it in you to stay. You knew how over time you’d become disgusted with yourself for staying with a man who didn’t put you first. A man who stepped out on you and inevitably chose another woman over you.
You had inherited your mother’s sweet and calm disposition. And he had clearly taken advantage of it. All the lies. Coming home late. The woman he jeopardized it all for—and he wasn’t sorry. He wanted you to forgive him and move past this; when he knew on the surface he’d never do it for you—the awful audacity of a man.
You were a good wife. You cooked, cleaned, supported him…wanted to raise children with him. And he went and spoiled it all. Let it rinse down the drain right along with your feelings like cheap wine. It all seemed so easy for him to make these decisions— to try and excuse his fucked yo actions. You questioned if he was going insane, ho he could ever look you in the face after his dog ways and beg you to stay. To beg you to look past his ‘accident’. How do you accidentally hurt the one you love? How do you cut her so deep on an accident?
You saw her. Searched her up online. Saw how drastically different she was from you and everything you put out into the world. Things he claimed he loved about you…didn’t show up on her. She didn’t look like you. She didn’t present as you did. And the betrayal became a sickening feeling. It crept up your spine and sputtered into your heart and mind. Poisoning your mental health.
The five stages of grief attacked you throughout the weeks. The denial. No not your man..not you sweet loving husband—tricks were being played. All his answers to your questions began to sound like lies. All the time spent together felt borrowed and rushed. So you looked into it. Let your womanly intuition lead you to a shocking heart wrenching discovery.
Your anger came quickly and swiftly. The red hot kind. The kind that filled you with so much energy that it needed to be expelled from your body. You confronted him with it, blood rushing under your skin like an angry river.
“You think I’m dumb don’t you? You think you cover your tracks so well..that I wouldn’t find out what the fuck you’ve been up to! All this time just fucking wasted because of you. I could’ve been living my life! Instead I’m tethered to a cheater. And don’t you deny it—don’t lie to me. You’ve done that enough..just be real with me you owe me that much.“
You hated it. That almost cold way he dismissed you at that moment. How his constant need to downplay the situation was the worst gaslighting ever.
“My love…you know I never meant to hurt you. No woman on this earth could ever equate to you..what you do for me. The way you love me..that’s why I came back to you. I know I fucked up, I know.”
Here he was now on his knees, face pressed into my stomach pressing kisses against it. I felt like I couldn’t move, and in a way I couldn’t. He had my arms pressed to my sides. His way of disarming me, but I was long past causing him physical harm. I had no more energy left.
“Don’t call me that. You made your choice. Made me a second thought when I could never put another man before you…never have an affair with another man. Because unlike you I actually gave a shit about this marriage. Unlike you I actually wanted this to last…wanted to grow old and die with you.”
“So now you saying I didn’t care? How the fuck can you say I didn’t care about this marriage…I fucking love you and I always will. No bitch I fucked is gonna change that. Baby she ain't you..she’ll never be you.”
Constant gaslighting. Constant lies. They were twisting your head up. And your brain couldn’t take it. That look in his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that I fell in love with when we were too young to understand the feelings we felt for each other. That choking feeling in her throat as he rose to his feet to lift her chin and wipe tears she hadn't felt coming down her face. Could she trust his affections? His vows? His ‘forever love’ for her? It was all uncertain and she couldn’t live with that. Right?
—
For about a month it felt promising. Him back in their shared home with her, that domesticity she missed was back like it never left. The way his arm would be thrown over your hip as the two of you rested in bed. Her waking up to breakfast in bed and having long talks after the two of them came home from their jobs. But she felt like a fraud. It felt like she was living a lie and everyone could see it. She might as well walk around in public with a sign on her back that read ‘I took back a cheater’. This was a shell of what they used to be and he was the only one who didn’t see any issue with that. Go figures.
She watched him from the kitchen as she swirled around the last bit of wine in her glass. The cool fabric of her satin robe rubbing lightly against her breast. She wasn’t sure what she wanted from him, and if she wanted him to quell the feeling she felt in her lower belly. Or maybe she should put her vibrator that sat lonely in her nightstand to use. Could she fuck him and try not to feel anything for him at the same time? Murmuring words of affection to a man she was slowly losing said affection for, she didn’t know.
Because beneath the surface she was nursing a different feeling for him. Beginning to despise him;hate him. Hated how it had come down to this. Hated how she had to bargain with him, her body, her mental. Hated how she had to juggle it all while he sat unmoved by it. Rinsing her glass in the sink she walked over to where he sat on the couch. His top half naked while the plaid sleep pants he wore hung low on his waist. And she knew she’d fuck him. One last time to cleanse her system of him. To satisfy herself before she threw him and everything else out of what used to be their home. A place they were supposed to raise future children. And perhaps home is where the heart is, but how did that fit when hers had shattered into so many pieces.
The sex was wild and unforgiving. The almost purposeful way her nails would dig into his back as he stroked her deeply. The bites she placed on his body as he winced in pain. Pain he deserved to feel. Her constant whispers into his ear over and over on a replay ‘I hate you’, ‘I hate you so much’. How he’d fuck her harder and more aggressively each time she’d say it. Placing his full plump lips over hers in an attempt to drown out what she had to say. But she was done being quiet about her growing disdain.
“You hate me so much but your pussy is squirting again! Look at this shit…look!”.
The almost forceful way he gripped the back of your head to make you look at the mess you made. And you would never deny his ability to own you into a mattress because he’d always been good at it, but you couldn’t help but love the bothered look on his face.
“You’ve always fucked me good…dick has always been good. But you’re no good..just fuck me.”
That determined look in his eye doesn’t go unnoticed as his hand slides up to grip your throat in his hand. A move that used to instantly place you into a deep submissive like state, now amps you up further. That girl was gone. Long gone. But the woman that was present now wrapped her hand around his and squeezed. A battle in the sheets. And she had no plans of losing as she forced him back onto his back, scratching up his chest as she bounced quicker on him. She wanted to get hers one last time so she could leave him hanging. He didn’t deserve one more ounce of pleasure at her expense.
And it was at that point when the last and maybe final orgasm she’d get to have with him ripped through her. All her emotions coming to the forefront and hitting her at once. The way he whispered to her softly ‘don’t cry’ as she slid off of him, their collective liquids running slowly down her legs as she rushed to the shower. The need to cleanse herself of him for once and all both internally and externally was at an all time high. The harsh way she rubbed at her skin in a rush to clean him off of her. So she could forget how he felt. Forget how he made her feel. Because she wasn’t so sure she wanted to feel anything else right now…or ever.
—
She lost something that night. Something that washed down the drain with the suds and tears. She had to be strong that night. Strong enough to hand over her ring and utter those words to him, words that at one point she’d rather die than say. And in a way maybe a part of her had died. The part of her that believed in true long lasting love and happiness. She wasn’t so sure she still believed that. Believed in it.
Terry put up a fight that night. Begging and pleading with her, using her own words against her. Words she had only spoken when things were good between them…before he went and fucked it all up.
“What about our future…you said you wanted kids with me. What about that huh? What about us raising kids together?”
“Terry please! That was before you betrayed me, before you did the one thing I could never forgive you for. Of course I wanted that with you…bu-but not anymore.”
The constant begging and pleading with you until you had to block him, it was so much on you. He was trying to wear you down. Trying to get you to expose that vulnerability that the two of you had shared, but it was no longer present. You had to put your foot down now or risk losing yourself in this shell of a marriage.
Meetings with a divorce attorney about the best routes to sever ties and split funds and assets right down the middle were exhausting. A plethora of emails and terms you had to get familiar with, but you were grateful to have your family to fall back on. The news crushed them because they had seen Terry as family. Accepted him into the family so long ago, and now this is where the two of you stood. Future fucking divorce pending.
Things ramped up with Terry quite fast after he received the papers. Him showing up at your now home as he’d already purchased himself a new one across town. Banging heavily at your door the night of a thunderstorm. You had been spooked and scared from your slumber as you hurried to slip into your robe and fluffy house shoes, but not before checking your Ring doorbell.
A fitted baseball cap covered his eyes as you swung open the door. The heavy black leather jacket you had gifted to him for his thirty-second birthday shielded him from the heavy downpour. His usually tame facial hair had grown out and he now sported a thick beard. His eyes though…they were red. Bloodshot even, and it scared you. It took away from the beauty of his eyes and he almost didn’t look like himself.
“Terry what..what are you doing here, it’s late?” You were puzzled to say the least. All recent communication between the two of you had been through your lawyers so seeing him was more than a little surprising. Without saying anything he pushed past you and headed to sit on the couch. And he reeked of liquor, it was so heavy on his breath.
“I’m fucked up baby. Without you..shit maybe in general. I don’t think I ever was a good man you know? Maybe you just made me look that way, made me want to be better than I was.”
You slinked away to your kitchen and kept a watchful eye on him. He was drunk. And Terry didn’t drink. You opened up your fridge and pulled out a cold bottle of water, anything that could sober him up right now. Handing it to him you sat a safe distance away from him on the couch.
“Terry what is this? You can’t just show up here, and have you been drinking? You don't even drink Terry, so what’s going on?”
A chuckle left his mouth, but his face showed he was not amused at the slightest. “Been drinking since I got those papers in the mail.”
You sprung up from the couch as you pointed at him. “No no, you don’t get to blame me for your fuck ups! You’re grown Terry, any decision you made was your own. Why don’t you see that? Why can’t you see how deeply I loved you?”
His head snapped up to look at you, and in a way you felt compelled to stop speaking. “Past tense…you loved me? So you no longer do? I-I can’t live with that…can’t sign those papers and watch you walk away from me.”
“Well you can thank you and your new bitch for that ok? I did my part and I’m sick of repeating myself over and over. Terry I’m not gonna go insane, I’m not gonna deal with this. Just sign the papers and get over it…like I had to.”
“Ah I see what this is. You must have another nigga already…that’s what it is. That’s why you just so quick to say fuck me and everything I stand for. Let me tell you something the day I see another man in or near this house…it’ll be his last day breathing.”
You were stunned. Did he just say he’d murder someone if you moved on? You couldn’t even focus on the audacity of it all because of what he had just let slip from his mouth. In all your years of knowing Terry, you never felt like he was capable of murder. But as time went on, how well did you actually know the man that sat in front of you?
“Terry what? You have to go. Now! I can’t believe you would go this fucking far to prove a point. You’re sick and you’re more fucked up in the head than I gave you credit for…I blame your parents.”
“Don’t mention my parents, they don’t have anything to do with this. This is about your ability to give it all up, and for what? Who you gotta prove something to hmm? Who you putting on a show for, we both know you like to let me break you down and feel things. Don’t fight me, my love.”
“Get. Out. Now. Before I call the police and don’t come back here or I swear-“
“You swear what hmm? What you gonna do to me? What more can you do..I’ll see you around.”
And with that he left. Back out into the night just as drunk as he had come in. The water left untouched by him. You were tired of this shit, all of it and you could only hope he had those papers signed for the meeting that was coming up.
—
The meeting was…odd. The papers had been signed, assets and finances had been split without so much as a fight out of Terry. He just stared at you from across the table. And though you were grateful that you could be a legally free woman in weeks, you couldn’t help but feel like this was just a little too easy.
Life carried on in the few months after you had divorced Terry. You had dyed your hair, started going back out with friends, and had been promoted at your job. Life was finally feeling sweet again, you had things to look forward to. And things were amazing until you got a visit at your job. The front end receptionist had buzzed to let you know you had a visitor and your curiosity led you down stairs not shortly after.
And there she was. The woman he cheated on you with. The woman at the forefront of the fucked up year you had. The sleepless nights. The depression and heartache. She had some nerve to come to you. But something else caught your eye, the subtle way she rubbed at her protruding belly. A belly you hadn’t noticed at first m. She was pregnant. You couldn’t do this, but as you turned to storm away she called out your name.
“Please…please hear me out. I know you don’t owe it to me but please, he lied to us both.”
You weren’t sure what compelled you to head outside with the young woman and allow her to sit in your car. But something was wrong. The way she nervously tucked her curly hair behind her ears as she surveyed her surroundings over and over again, the gripping and pulling at her fingers, the bruises on her forearms and neck. What the hell was going on?
“I just want to say I’m so so sorry for everything…all the pain I’ve caused you. He-he never told me he was married, never wore his ring around me. He’s never even mentioned you..until the divorce. But by then I was already pregnant, too far along to do anything about it…to-to get rid of it.” She pauses, as the sobs don’t allow her to continue. And you begin to feel bad because you know what comes out of her mouth next can’t be any better than what you’ve already heard.
“He hits me…hes so abusive. So so abusive…I’m afraid he’ll kill me and I don’t know where else to go. He’s a monster and if I go back I won’t survive this time. When I threatened to tell you everything about him he choked me and I could feel myself slipping away. I had to do it, I had to…and now I’m not sure if he’s even alive. I’m so sorry for bringing this to you.”
“This…this is sick. I’m so sorry, sorry for what he did to the both of us. You didn’t deserve it…any of it. But the police need to be involved now. If he’s dead, you defended yourself…but if he isn’t he deserves to rot for what he did to you.”
The ride to the police station provides you with more information about the man you once loved. The double life he lived when your eyes were no longer on him. The girl who you now knew as Mya was a student at the community college here in town. She was just twenty-two and working as a bottle girl at a club downtown, and that’s where she met Terry. So young with so much life and time in front of her, and he was just a dark boot that came in her life to snuff it out.
The two of you were able to give the police the long grueling rundown before they sent someone out to Mya’s apartment to check for Terry. And when they reported back the only thing they said was that the apartment was in disarray, which Mya confirmed was from the recent fight. But they found no blood, no bloody clothing, no trace of him. They recommended Mya to put a restraining order on him until they could get him to come in for questioning and to not come back home tonight.
You were tired and overstimulated. And after dropping Mya off to a relative's house you headed home yourself. After your shower you couldn’t even contain the tears, Terry was once again a thorn in your side for the millionth time that year. You questioned if you had ever truly known the man to begin with. Hated how much time you wasted in a dead end relationship with him.
—
Work was hard on you the next day and you barely slept that night. Tossing and turning beneath the sheets as nightmares played behind your eyelids. You hadn’t had one in years and you knew the stress of the situation was weighing heavy on your mental.
You were glad to clock out and practically ran to your car. But a piece of paper stuck in your windshield slowed you down. You pulled it out and began to unfold the paper to read it. ‘Till death do us part my love’ goosebumps littered your arms now as you looked around the parking lot. Terry had been here…could still be here. Lingering and watching. Hopping into your car you sped home with hopes of beating the rain heading your way. It seems like that's all the weather had to offer lately, and coincidentally it was a reflection of life currently for you.
Fresh and clean from the shower your robe and hair towel kept you warm as you moseyed around the house tidying up things. The news played lowly in the background as you headed back to your room to finally get some much needed sleep, but the sense of urgency in the news reporter's tone had you hurrying to turn up the volume.
“Police are in search of a man tied to a cult just outside of Rainier County here in Washington. They say the name came up recently after the man who goes by Terrence Richmond, better known as Terry, was involved in an alleged domestic violence case. The police chief of Rainier County says it wasn't until after he talked with colleagues that he realized they had a very dangerous man hidden right under their noses. Police chief Gary Williams urges the people of the community to be cautious and to not approach this man and if seen please call 911…” A picture of Terry flashed shortly after.
It was like your legs had given up on you, and you had to catch the corner of your bed just to slide onto the floor of your bedroom. Your mouth hung open in absolute horror. You were sick to your stomach and you dashed to your toilet to hurl into it. And it just kept coming like your body was rejecting something, and your head? It was so light, so so light. And when you grabbed onto the counter to regain your footing, a hand was at your waist…but you were home alone.
“You weren't supposed to find out this way my love…you were supposed to be the chosen one..”
That voice is so familiar. A voice that used to comfort you. But you were fading and your body was slipping more and more out of your control by the second. And when the person lifted you bridal style you could only see your room getting further away before you finally succumbed to the darkness.
—
The sleep was peaceful. Forgiving. But waking up was a nightmare. Your head pounded intensely, the pulsing of your temples a direct ode to just how intense you felt it. Your body felt like you had run up and down a flight of stairs a thousand times. You felt sluggish and barely alive. But your confusion didn't stop there. Your clothes had been changed. The eggshell white linen dress falling just below your knees. And you were being watched. Women clad in the same white linen dresses as you, surrounded you in a circle. Practised smalls positioned on their faces and a single yellow rose in each hand.
“Welcome sister. You are the one he has waited so patiently for. You will be the one they speak of for generations.” These kinds of things only happened in movies. You only got drugged and woke up in unfamiliar places in movies. But people in your position rarely survived in said movies, right?
The woman stared at you expectantly. Like you were supposed to jump with glee at her statement. Like you actually wanted this shit.
She cleared her throat and motioned the other women closer. “It's ok everyone here was shy and scared at one point, but he's saved us all. Opened up our eyes to the truths of this world. The same truths that now grow inside each of us.” Pregnant. They were all pregnant. You counted about fifteen women in front of you. Was Terry the father of all of these unborn children? Was he actually a cult leader? The answer was right in front of you, he was exactly who they were searching for on the news.
The woman motioned for the women around you to place the roses in a single circle around you. Your body finally gaining just enough energy to properly sit up on the cold floor. Your slow movements making the odd moment all the more better for the women as they all kneeled around you.
“These flowers represent rebirth and you're going to bring that to us. We women are sacred and we hold the power to both create and bring life into this world, you should be so gracious of your new position as our queen!”
Queen? You has to get the fuck out of here an fast. You had regained enough energy to stand to your feet, your head spinning a little as you held the wall to leave the room. And when you realized none of the women were coming after you, you quickened your steps. You didn't recognize anything about the house or building you were being held in, all you knew was that you needed to get away and call the police. You kept walking until you came upon a white down. A bright light that seemed like the sun shown through the small glass window, but when you opened the door and rushed through it there was nothing but bright lights and the walls were so white that it began to make your eyes hurt. It looked almost like a worship room, an altar in the far corner of the large room faced a few rows of pews, but as you walked further into the room, the door slammed behind you.
“Cult leader,murder, woman abuser…blah blah blah a bit dramatic dont we think? They don't understand the work I do here. The lives I've changed. But you…you always understood me and that's why I told the other chosen ones that your position here would be so much different from theirs…that you would assume the role of my queen.”
“Terry no..you drugged me and threw me in a room with a bunch of brainwashed women, and for what? You thought I would actually agree with anything I've seen you do so far? Did you ever truly know me while we were together or were you just so fucked up along the way that you couldnt tell real from fake?”
“I know you no more of a saint than I am…why do you think I chose you hmm? You got that grit that fire in you baby… you not afraid to kill.”
…not afraid to kill ...to kill..kill. How could he know? There was no actual way he actually knew about that right? You yourself had tried to scrub it from your brain. Had attended a million therapy sessions afterwards because your mental health was declining everyday until you did something about it. But you were barely twenty when it happened…barely old enough to understand the weight of taking a life. The way the soul was forever stained. Forever changed. And your life was forever changed. Shooting and killing your father to save your mother had indeed fucked you up, but to save her you’d do it all over again.
“Dont you dare go there… you don't know what we went through in that house. He-he would have killed her! You have no right…you don't know what it's been like to carry that with me all these years. To know when that date is coming up even when I want to forget it…I did what I had to so me and my family could survive and I'd do it again.”
He was walking closer to you now. His body clad in loose fitting linen pants and a loose linen top. The color standing against him is almost as bright as the room. He was dressed like a savior, someone who prided himself on the overall betterment of humanity. And yet instead he was a psycho, a false prophet, and a liar.
“Were not much different my love, you did what you had to for family and I've been doing the same. I'm building a legacy for my children. Something they'll have to be proud of when I'm gone…a physical manifestation of what it means to sacrifice for the greater good. Join us and p-”
Police stormed into the room just before he could spew more bullshit from his mouth. Circling in to surround him and allow you a safe exit. They read him his rights before you were guided from the room and into the safety of a police cruiser. You didn't know how they had found you or what would happen next, but you were relieved to say the least. At the police station you told them everything. Recounting what you could before the exhaustion you felt began to wear you down. And when you learned that it was Mya that notified police about your disappearance after you never returned her text about a meeting location to talk more. She said she had a gut feeling and you couldn't be more indebted to her. She had saved your life. You could never know the full extent of what Terry had planned for you , but it didn't take a rocket scientist to guess.
When they told you they'd be taking the case to trial you knew it was possible you'd have to testify. And it was rough on you, but you had Mya to lean on. You and the young girl had become closer in a way, you naturally assuming the role as big sister to her as you helped and supported her through her pregnancy. The two of you are getting through the grueling trial process together and ultimately seeing it through until the guilty verdict. You could never forget how he glared at you when you took the stand. That ice cold look through blue eyes sent chills up your spine, but you had to push through.
You felt like you got a second chance at life after everything blew over. You were more grateful and understanding now. More cautious. Its amazing what fucked up situations can do to the mental. And with a chance to live your life again you'd be foolish not to take it. For all the trials and mishaps of your life, you wouldn't change a thing. Life goes on with and without the traumas of the past.
———-
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