NCIS Reaction: Minimum Security
Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts. At a later time period, and without having seen Wench’s reaction, Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts. Comparisons may be made as a result.
“If my old man finds out I’ve been biking with you, he’ll kill us both” “I’ll get you a ride.” Sounds like they might not just have been biking, if’n ya know what I mean.
[“Don’t get your thong in a twist”]
“What if he doesn’t stop?” “Oh, he’ll stop.” Buddy, I’m not sure I’d be so certain about that
Ohhhhh, the poor bike :((((
I understand him being pissed about the bike, for real.
That doesn’t change the fact that the guy’s already dead, I bet y- [Aghhhhh’ ☠️☠️☠️ Well he ain’t gonna be wishing shit lol] WHAT DID I SAY!!! (Should I start keeping a prediction counter? I think I should. Prediction Success: 1)
[Aight imma say it. Gibbs is handsome. There I said it. Add it to my weird list] I don't get this one, but that's not much of a surprise to me these days alksdjf [Idk it’s his smile. Kinda Tom cruise-y but 🤷🏻♀️]
I love the sections of the intro belonging to Tony and Abby. His lil wave? Her lil jump? So cute.
Blegh. BLEGHHHH. “RUN THE GUT FOR ME.” BLEH.
Ducky’s assistant’s name is Gerald, btw.
If not gallbladder stones, then… Diamond smuggler?
“They’re stones, doc.” Diamonds looking possible.
Oh, come on!!! EMERALDS????
[Emeralds. Well shit]
I’m so annoyed now. I think diamonds should count. The point was there; “gemstones” was the correct answer. I just didn’t get the exact gem right. Hmph. Now I’m unhappy. You know what?! I got the gemstone part right, so. (Prediction Success: 1.5)
I also got the smuggling part right, so… (Prediction Success: 2.5)
[God I’m glad Tony brought his hair back forward. The slicked back wasn’t it.] Agree.
Tony being linguistically pedantic makes me happy; I relate
TONY BEING SO HAPPY ABOUT GOING TO CUBA MAKES ME SO HAPPY TOO!!! HIS CACKLE?!!?! MY BELOVED. [Tony is so happy] (Same Brain Cell — SBC — Count: 1)
[Sir how many times you gonna swap which way you’re wrapping that cord]
Oof, NCIS agent is involved.
“The women I date think the smell of sawdust is sexy. That’s probably why I don’t date many women.” Gibbs. Ma’am. Excuse you. Sawdust is amazing. The smell is awesome. I would not date Gibbs, but the sawdust is not the issue.
All of these characters spilling Gibbs’ coffee… damn, what a waste.
“The Navy’s giving us a priority ride today.” TONY FINALLY GETS HIS PRIVATE JET RIDE! He looks so disbelieving; he’s adorable.
Oh. Okay, apparently it’s not a private jet ride, and is very uncomfortable, but still.
OH. Apparently it is a private jet ride. HAH!
Dude, this looks like the Criminal Minds jet. [It looks like the criminal minds plane] (SBC Count: 2)
Gibbs bemoaning the comfortable seating because it’s not uncomfortable; madam, calm yourself. A little comfort will not harm you.
Poor Tony, keeps getting his hopes up about the trip, only to have them dashed. Then again, the last times this happened, things were then better than he expected, so maybe he’ll get his horseback riding et al. after all!
Okay, I suppose I should have said: Oof, NCIS agent might be involved.
NO BUT TONY PULLING UP THE AIRPLANE STATS ON THE TOUCHSCREEN IS SO RELATABLE; I DO THAT ALL THE TIME. Whenever I fly (very rare occurrence), I always stare at the air temperature and watch it change alsdkjf. Gibbs actually looked vaguely annoyed-but-endeared, and I approve.
“Anthony DiNozzo” Whoa, we’re being fancy
[HES CHEESING SO HARD. i can’t even]
[I love her hair cut]
I know she said “there’s a map in it”, but my subtitles got cut off and it reads “there’s a man in it”
Y’all are really not being subtle, ngl.
“So, is there something going down that I should know about?” SEE?!?!?!
Wow, they were even more unsubtle than I thought.
[I half-remember this one]
That scene change was… abrupt.
I like Tony’s shirt.
Are Kate and Tony gonna bicker over room placement
I KNEW IT. (Prediction Success: 3.5)
Kate saying Tony’s sexist in past episodes and also being the character who pulls the “I’m a woman” excuse more often than anyone to get her way
[I love Abby]
Are they still bickering over room placement
Please tell me Gibbs takes the room they were fighting over
WHAT DID I SAY; HE REALLY WENT AND DID THAT! I’M ON A ROLL (Adding two becuase they were still bickering over room placement btw. Prediction Success: 5.5) [He took the bed with the bath I love it] (SBC Count: 3)
[Tony. You child. I love it]
IGUANAAAAAA. [Oh man, iguana] (SBC Count: 4)
Poor Tony aksdjflkasjdf. Pulling his gun on the iguana. [HALT]
To be fair, if I woke up with a strange lizard on my pillow, two inches away from sleep-clogged eyes, I might flip out too. Especially since it was hissing.
[The wink at the fact Tony sleeps in the nude, though. Kate! You dog!]
Kinda poor Benjamin, but also. He seems annoying.
I love Abby’s choker. And her gloves. (My brother bought my sister fingerless gloves and didn’t get me any and now I’m left mourning what could have been.). Abby’s are still cooler than my sister’s though.
I know this dude… OH. HE’S THE MUSEUM CURATOR IN THE MUMMY ISN’T HE
Tony being followed by the iguana saldkfj
[That iguana staring him down. He like what he saw in bed lol]
“Might want to keep that door shut; iguanas’ve been known to wander inside”. Yes. Tony knows.
[Tony’s whole damn looks change with his hairstyles]
I love the word “rapport”
“Did I say both of you?” “Well, you didn’t not say both of us.” “She’s kinda got a point there, boss.” The Kate-and-Tony-versus-Gibbs interaction I always knew we needed.
btw, Tony calling Gibbs “boss” is adorable
Ooh, Gibbs, why you having Kate stay, huh?
Did. Did they just randomly time-skip from him leaving to him coming back? I’m confused. [Did the video time skip… did it go from Tony leaving to Tony being back] (SBC Count: 5)
[Lord Tony’s gonna be out there dancing ☠️]
“Shane.” “Who’s Shane?” “Alan Ladd.” “Who’s Alan Ladd?” BUDDY
“Why aren’t you praying?” Don’t assume, Ka- WHAT DID I SAY. “I’m Presbyterian.”
IS HE ASKING ABOUT SHANE- I LOVE IT
“Oh, you young people don’t know what good movies are.” Speaking as a person on the younger end of the gamut while still having been raised on classics, I can attest that modern audiences have suffered in movie quality. In my opinion, at least.
“‘Splat’ isn’t violent?” Love you, Tony.
“Are you here to check me out?” Flirtatiously: “Define ‘checking out.’” I SEE YOU, TONY
Buddy’s not even subtle rn, is he? That was blatant flirtation.
[Tony. You blew that one]
I feel like pulling out Paula has some serious risks attached. Yeah, she might be dirty, but she might not be, and her rapport is being screwed up as a result.
Tony playing the desperate flirt at the bar over here.
[She came back]
“If you don’t like me, then why do you keep coming over here for refills.” “I like the game.”. “Me too.” ngl, really hoping she’s not corrupt because the banter is decent. And since McGee isn’t in this one, I’ve gotta take the repartee where I can get it.
BUDDY GETS HIS DANCEEEE. Tony, I’m so proud.
OOP- That spin was slick; Tony, I commend you
— — —
Stopping here because we’re at a scene change for the midpoint reaction!
I confess I’ve not much to say… It very much annoys me that this show has been very guilty-until-proven-innocent, without many instances where that changes; I mean, just from what springs to mind, there was the episode where the group was convinced the kid committed suicide; the naval folks were taking drugs; and now this, the ep where they’re all assuming that Cassidy is dirty from the fact that the vic had her (his coworker’s) male in her care. They always assume, even when it’s illogical to do so, that the obvious is factual. And I think that’s part of why I keep making predictions to the contrary, tbh. I want them to be wrong because I want them to face their illogic each time, instead of getting lucky. (But, I recognize, sometimes they’ll be right even if their logic isn’t sound, so I guess that’s fair.). Anyway, I want Cassidy to be innocent because of that, even if it doesn’t make sense given the story, but I’m not making that a prediction.
Mourning McGee’s absence; appreciating Kate and Tony, and Gibbs is not bad. On we go!
— — —
I’m cringing just thinking about swallowing those emeralds; they look sharp.
Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m vaguely suspicious of museum-curator-translater dude. Like, ever since I saw Shutter, where Ben’s lying to Jane about what the photo shaman dude was saying? I never trust that translators are adequately conveying the message. Call me cynical, but ‘tis true.
Tony dancing with Cassidy is so cute, I’m sorry.
Damn, Gibbs, be even more blunt about it why don’t you; that wasn’t harsh enough
Iffy acting, but I can’t tell if it’s actress or character
She really shouldn’t just hand over her apartment keys, I’m reasonably confident.
Tony looks vaguely conflicted about having to search Cassidy’s apartment
IGUANA. [IGUANA] (Damn, that one was blatant; SBC Count: 6)
“You were so excited coming to Cuba and riding on the jet” It’s true, Kate, he was adorably excited.
“You were the first woman I saw on my ‘endorphin high.’” “Yeah, well. We work together, Tony. It’s like a brother-sister thing.” Ma’am clearly has not seen any of the countless films, shows, fics, and irl interactions that feature in-office romances.
WAIT NO I’M AN IDIOT; SHE HAD AN IN-OFFICE ROMANCE?!?!?! IN THE PILOT?!!??! MA’AM, WDYM?!?!
“You might wanna take that chip of your shoulder” Oh, of course, no problem; of course it’s okay that you searched my mail and my apartment and so on. Not a difficulty at all.
“He blew his chance to get laid” Oh, come on, Cassidy, it’s not Tony’s fault. [He blew his chance to get laid. Poor Tony ☠️] (SBC Count: 7)
Oh, are we back to terrorists again? How. Unique. [TERRORISTTTTS] (Okay, that counts. SBC Count: 8)
Gibbs once again being vinegar-not-honey.
DAMN ABBY YOU’RE EXPENSING A LOT I SEE [Abby ☠️☠️ racking up a bill] (SBC Count: 9)
Tony’s hair is floppy.
Did he notice that she had “Escada” perfume?
I KNEW IT. (Prediction Success: 6.5)
“Horizontal salsa” alksdjf ["Horizontal salsa"] (SBC Count: 10)
I reallyyyyy want Cassidy to be good now that they’re giving Tony so much shit for caring about her. [Tony’s done got smitten over one dance. Buddy. 💕 *sigh*]
“Romance between agents, Kate. It never works.” Sir, shush. Even if you’re speaking from experience, that proves nothing. You’re not exactly easy to get along with. [And the romance between agents never working is coming off as an asshole rule/thought. BUT HE ISN'T WRONG AS FAR AS THE SHOW GOES]
I know my comment about the translations was about museum-curator-guy, but I maintain that it counts as half a prediction success since Sa’id was doing exactly that: not translating the whole conversation. (Prediction Success: 7)
Abby and Ducky, again; I love you both.
[Ducky’s mother!]
DUCKYYYYY. OMG, SIR!?!?!? YOU’RE HILARIOUS, YOU SCANDALOUS DOG! [You… dog? 👀] (SBC Count: 11)
[Easter eggs ☠️☠️]
“My cursor has moved across places that would make Tony blush.” Not Tony looking appraising!
IGUANA.
Protective!Tony is adorable.
Jeez, Gibbs, be harsher why don’t you; that wasn’t enough.
Cassidy, I stuck up for you, and now you be mean to Tony? To make yourself look good? Once again, these people need to stop tearing down their fellows as a means of increasing their own status. I’m actually getting annoyed again by this. [Tonyyyyyyy ☹️☹️☹️ “He bought my act.” I hateeee the sad tony eps. There’s a few. Be prepared.] (Does this count as SBC?)
Poor Tony. [Poor Tony. “She’s good.” Tony’s face. Ya I agree 💔💔] (That does. SBC Count: 12)
“Eyes always give you away” Poor Tony :( [Sass tony! Get her GET HER (Eyes always give ya away)] (SBC Count: 13)
[And she has the AUDACITY to look at him like a kicked puppy] Like I said. Don’t be mean to your allies to make yourself look good.
I. Do not trust this. I’m waiting for her to pull an Elizabeth-from-24 and not go along with the plan. Get pissed and try to kill him, or screw up the plan.
Tbh, I’m glad that didn’t happen. I didn’t appreciate it in 24 (only partly because it was Misha who got attacked as a result), and I wouldn’t have appreciated it here.
“There. Right there.” I didn’t realize this was Legally Blonde: the Musical.
I’m impressed he didn’t notice the wire yet.
Did I mention, yet? Poor Tony.
This situation was astoundingly mishandled, ngl. [Damn plan backfired]
[Well the back fire backfired also] Literally lakdsfj
Poor Tony :((( [Tonyyyyy] (I’m counting that one too. SBC Count: 14)
I appreciate Kate trying to help Tony.
Also, just saying, Tony is quite dashing in the suit.
TONY. HE FINALLY GOT TO SHOW OFF THE TECHNOLOGY TO SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATED IT!!! My goodness, he’s so adorable.
[Well his smile’s back at least.]
And that’s a wrap!
– – –
For the endpoint reaction… Be warned that I’m writing this with a killer headache (hah, pun unintended), so I’m not sure it’s 100% coherent, and it might be a bit short.
I’m glad that Cassidy wasn’t involved because, as I’ve said, they’ve got a bad habit of having snap judgements they make at the beginning be right all the way through to the end. Unfortunately, this was about the most logical snap judgement of the series thus far, so I’m also vaguely annoyed it wasn’t right. I’m deciding to wash my hands of it because it’s not like the characters will actually learn, but oh, well.
The writing was decent, I suppose? Highly, highly lost as to how the hell emerald smuggling turned into terrorists again, but… I’ve given up on trying to track it. I will say: there’s a slight possibility that reacting simultaneously to the ep is causing me not to notice stuff? Or to track the plot? But I doubt it. I’m still good with Dark Angel, after all, and following it is easy. But I guess I’ll just wait until we watch something else to decide; I legitimately cannot be sure whether the bad writing would be a little better if I were just watching it straight. (Pretty sure not though.)
Gibbs was an asshole again, but not enough that I’m currently fuming about it, I suppose. Kate was good; I liked her. Abby and Ducky continue to be awesome. McGee was notably missing, which is sad, but oh, well.
Summary of this ep: Tony deserved better.
Final thoughts as I type the end of this reaction: The chances I don't write something about this ep… Low.