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Change - Should I; Shouldn't I?

I tend to think of myself as quite finicky, and unpredictable. Not in all aspects, but I will have 'odd days' where I do not feel like doing anything in particular, despite having rather a lot to do. And yet I'll have days where I seem to be filled with boundless energy.

The thing is, I don't like that. For a start, its annoying to lie in bed with no willpower to get up, and when (if) I do, to not be in a mood to do anything. Also, it is inefficient - I would love to have a structured day, everything just so - but again, I do not like to feel confined; to be locked into certain decisions and actions out of my control or thinking.

I suppose this is extremely contradictory, making this blog post another in the long line of muddled contradictory blog posts.

The question I pose today is; Should I Change?

This question is, I hope, a little deeper than it first appears. What I am is how I am. How I am stems from why I am, so in a circuitous route, I am what I am. There is most likely a song about this... Two moments.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj8C43r4zm0

Ok, so I shall listen to that whilst typing out the rest of this. So, whilst I am what I am, whatever I do is simply me. I am not being unpredictable, nor lazy or any of my other various traits - I am simply being me. I suppose there could be no such thing as being lazy, or easily upset, or arrogant, there is just Me, created from a mix of these traits in various proportion - we are all unique.

Personally, I think that is a load of tosh. If you confine yourself to being yourself as you are, then you are not being yourself as you could be. Don't follow me? Allow me to explain.

Say I am me. At the moment I am somewhat unfit, occasionally depressed and sometimes lazy, but I often can't be bothered to go the the extreme of being lazy. I just vegetate. I hate this. All of these qualities I seek to purge from myself. But by the above points, surely that is me? Why change my mindset?

Simply put, because it is my mindset. I know that other people despair at my disorganization, how I am easily distracted by complex machinery, such as someone jangling a set of keys in front of me, and how my arrogance has, on occasion, made me go slightly too far when talking to friends.

So the fact the this is affecting others around me and myself should be reason enough for me to change. It is my mind; therefore it is under my control, and I feel that, should I be able to keep up a new change for long enough it will eventually become ingrained into my psyche. Already, I have gone from having cider on a fairly regular basis to completely abstaining from alcohol, as well as fizzy drinks (perhaps a little extreme, but I like living on Hot Chocolate, Tea and Water, and I wanted to see how far I could go). The next steps are for me to continue washing, something around 4 years ago I used to have trouble with - now I wash most weeks. I have even, believe it or not, stopped being quite as obnoxious and socially awkward as I was a few years past, and now I feel that that has become part of my person.

I am actually rather happy with this one. I have managed to come to a conclusion about something I feel rather strongly about - It may well be me, but that doesn't mean that it has to be - maybe only I can change that. But in my experience, other people Do help.

Have a great day - in fact, you may as well answer this with your own views. If you like.

#Change #THE MIND #psyche #incomplete #needs more stuff #could do with more counter arguements #good start all the sme #aha #these tags are rarely related #Should I?#Shouldn't I?