please do what you need to, i’m sorry for the suddenness as well, keeping silent for so long is not doing any good at the rate it feels like things have been going, i’ll understand if you need to curate your spaces as a result.
reading about all these coronavirus cases has me thinking…there are probably some people in the rpc, particularly the pokémon community, who would be happy if i died. they would be thinking “good riddance, we never wanted her here anyway,” and i’m betting they’re too smart to say anything publicly but if i die of this thing i expect peoples’ DMs to be blowing the fuck up with people saying that karma’s a bitch and i deserved what i got.
I can't believe I've seen more acephobia than other forms of phobia on my own dashboard and feeds
You people are awful for poking fun and shitting on aces. Just because people have faced worse forms of discrimination for other sexualities does not exclude their experiences. Just help each other rise up and support each other it's not that hard. It's not hurting anyone either. Ffs
Due to the content within this post, I’m going to place it under a read more, I will apologize for the suddenness that this might appear as but with a situation that’s been going on since September, I feel it only fair to be able to finally speak up and get this side out there, which will reveal a lot over what’s been happening behind the scenes but I ask that you read with an open mind and do what’s best for you.
I want to preface my feelings on the matter and express that this is in no way meant to persuade or get people to choose any sort of side. This is not intended to be a callout. This is not intended and meant to be reblogged and I ask that you please don’t. This is me wanting to speak my peace on the matter, this is me wanting to get out my side and involvement because it only feels fair for such. If we're friends, our relationship has no correlation or connection to him and the same about his relationships with people as well, do what you feel is best for you at the end of the day but I'd like for you to have the full context first. I'm about to be thirty and firmly believe that people can separate relationships and should be able to. It's up to me, myself, and I to curate my space accordingly, not anyone else and that's exactly what I've been doing and will continue to do. Things explained here will be the only thing I express on the matter and it'll be left at that.
Cece has expanded and explained most of what the issues we have been dealing with and handling in silence since September and decided that it’s for the best for these to be put out there, for the full story to be heard, for people to be able to take what’s learned and make a well-informed decision based upon what they feel is best for them. Forgive me if this comes across as a jumbled mess, I’ve been sitting on this for a while now and I’m not entirely sure how to go about sorting out these emotions properly and never intend or want this to come across as an attack, it’s only meant to serve as an explanation and expansion to what’s been going on.
It’s my side of a story that I have every right to tell and get out there.
You probably already know by now that this is about Morty / Shibuyacrossed.
The first thing that I want to talk about is the theft which has taken place from my blog. I want to preface this by saying that I do not mind similar headcanons at all and think it's fantastic when people can share similar thoughts and portrayals when it comes to characters. It's super neat that we can share brain cells and come up with similar conclusions as to why certain characters might respond to / act upon certain mannerisms. We even had a fantastic conversation via IMs where we discussed rollerblading / skating Rhyme and that was so much fun!
Due to the hardblock in place and closing out of the IMs, I have lost access to this but it was one of the few actual conversations we had, which were already very minimal. Again let me say that I fully expect people to share / have similar headcanons when it comes to these characters especially and that's great! There's no issue with that. What I do take issue to is in the aftermath of what had gone down, something that you decided to make me part of via association anyways, is the blatant soft block which happened to my Rhyme blog and then your Rhyme going live with this specific headcanon posted and phrased the way that it was.
Youngest child in a strict family, Rhyme was pushed very hard by their parents from an early age to do as well in school and life as possible. They took this responsibility upon themselves when it was thrust upon them, never complaining and always trying their best, hoping that if they did well, they would be less harsh on Beat. Unfortunately, they were not invulnerable from this stress, and was prone to anxiety attacks quite frequently when they were younger. Never medicated or treated for this, they unfortunately had to learn to deal with it on their own, holding it together in front of their parents and peers and often breaking down when the second they were alone. - morty’s version
remember when i mentioned that the pressures placed upon rhyme do impact them and they simply hide it from everyone? why can’t you be like your sister? or, she’s heading in the right direction, what about you? is a lot to live up to. she doesn’t want to let her parents down and at the same time - she believes in beat and doesn’t want to let him down. so with a smile on their face, they work hard, listening to the rules in place, studying hard, hanging out with her sibling when they can, be good, do right; after all: you only get one life with your loved ones right? Haha. - my version
* important note that the panic attack headcanon was technically posted prior to that but the original post has since been deleted since I moved the bullet point to another post with various smaller posts. I’ve also provided the launch date screencaps for the sake of timeline purposes. The earliest post that I do have a screencap for dates back to September 06th for panic attack mentions.
Screencaps: [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ] [ x ]
I want to reiterate that I don’t mind the similar headcanon(s) at all. The portrayal just makes sense when you dig deep into Rhyme as a character and what they go through. What I do mind is the way that this entire blog and their portrayal came to light, for it to be phrased the way that it is, to be posted the way it was right after you decided to block me.
When I first saw the blog, it was via a reblog from a mutual I still had at the time and I hadn’t even noticed that I was softblocked until I got home from work and was finally on my computer to realize that’s exactly what had happened on my Rhyme blog and my multi. On top of similar mannerisms in blog portrayals, it made me uncomfortable to the point that ( again, let me point out that I was softblocked first. ) I decided to hardblock and curate my space, to protect my safe area out of fear that more things might have been snatched from me, this took place after Cece’s follow up message she received from him and I decided I was finished altogether.
This is when my hardblocks started taking place.
I should also mention that it's not even the whole Rhyme having panic attacks that's setting me off about this. Like we can all agree that these kids are dealing with trauma and their mental health would respond accordingly to such a result so that's a fairly common meta that I feel the majority of us would have and that's fine. It's the similar writing and incorporation of this headcanon right when I'm softblocked and the blog is made. That's what doesn't sit right with me about this. That's what upsets me.
That’s the primary thing that I needed to personally address, however I have been involved in more than this. By mentions alone, by association alone, by being played out as this package deal with Cece that I wanted to add and expand on this. Again, please check out Cece’s explanation for more context / screencaps / and better explanations as to what has happened as it’s already there and I don’t feel it necessary to break down every single thing a second time in this post.
Let’s start with the obvious vague made about us:
two days later i noticed that they and one of their friends, who i had not talked to about the disagreement between me and the other person at all, had both blocked me Everywhere.
I didn’t have anyone talk with me about the situation this part is speaking about due to the fact that I was able to see the disagreement with my own eyes, this happened on a public social media platform where I was mutuals / following the parties involved at the time. I could easily see with my own eyes what went down and from there, make my own decision over how I felt. But it’s important to know that when this had taken place, I hadn’t done any form of blocking. We were still very much mutuals and they were still in our discord server at the time as well.
Any choice or opinions made during this time was from what I watched taking place live with my own eyes and nothing more, nothing less.
I’d like to place emphasis and repeat that we are still mutuals during this, I haven’t blocked them anywhere, I didn’t block them anywhere despite my growing discomfort.
After the situation had allegedly died down and we were trying to move on, we were trying to keep quiet and just let everyone live life on their own path.
You made the choice to softblock me and curate your space which is your right to do, and please do that. ( Sept. 29th realizing my softblock, Sept. 29 when I finally hardblocked ) But then I took notice of the theft and seeing as you had already soft blocked me yourself, I took it a step further for my own personal comfort to hard block you.
I did not block you in any way until you made the first move.
It’s understandable to be upset and to curate your space accordingly, and I want it to be known that Morty has just as much right to block as he deems that he needs to for his well being and mental health. The reason I keep bringing this up is due to the fact that in his posts, they claim I went out and made the first move for no reason other than being talked about and this is the furthest from the truth, that is not how it happened at all.
because i know i was talked about behind my back again. i know that an argument with one person, made another person who wasnt involved at all dislike me enough to block me.
I’m going to be honest here. Morty isn’t really talked about until a stunt is pulled and we manage to catch it on the dash. This ties along with us literally trying to vibe and let bygones be bygones, keeping quiet and to ourselves so we can continue to enjoy this safe space, this happy place, this fandom that’s been so much fun to be part of. I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that and along with our lack of communication or any sort of relationship, there’s been absolutely no reason for this to come up, for you to come up and be talked about.
I don’t bring him up. Cece doesn’t bring him up. And if they are, it’s only to our two other friends when something takes place on the dash again and we need to vent about it.
This one argument isn’t what made me do anything. It’s the build up of discomfort, it’s the theft, it’s been a number of things that had taken place which made up my mind for me. I’d like to repeat that I’m allowed to curate my space and remove anything that makes me feel uncomfortable in the same light that Morty is. I’m not mad about the blocks, I’m upset about how it was handled and how I’m being made out to be the one to dislike them from only one argument when that isn’t the case. That’s never been the case.
if i hadnt looked up to them both so much it wouldnt be so bad. but i am having such a hard time dealing with it and a lot of twewy stuff reminds me about them and what happened, unfortunately.
There was a noticeable pedestal I was placed on that was absolutely noticed fairly early on, this was the start of my discomfort. I felt pretty uncomfortable with the way it felt that despite the limited interactions we had, that the way I was treated along with Cece. Admiration and flattery is one thing but there were certain reactions which made me feel fairly anxious and uncomfortable that I was willing to push to the side over possibly being an over analyzation on my part.
But it kept going and only continued to feed into the trail of other uncomfortable coincidences from there. I was willing to overlook this, I wanted the chance to get to know him. To at least see if we could have a potential friendship in the future but was always limited. It felt distant. We never had the chance to expand into anything more because of this.
I won’t dig deeper when it comes to the rest of the vague post. Cece breaks it down perfectly and I’d advise you to check that out again for further context. I don’t like being made out into this horrible person where only one side of the story is being shared and it’s not even the full or accurate representation as to what happens.
I’d like to make a comment about the anon hate Cece and I had gotten a bit back. Where I was mentioned in it for that two for one package. It hurt. It hurt a lot getting that.
I’m thankful that we were able to turn that situation into something positive and while it might not have been from Morty directly, the timing of it makes me believe that they are very much linked in some manner. It absolutely feels linked no matter how you look at it. It feeds into who we’re being made out to be in a place I adore so much. This is speculation more than fact, there’s zero proof, but this tying into the way we are being portrayed is, to be frank, appalling and completely villainizes us.
I understand how it can appear with matching urls and matching themes and there absolutely being a bias there when it comes to who I respond to and when. That’s because I get the most excited for our plots considering Cece’s one of my very best friends and we chat on a regular basis. We expand and grow so many dynamics together that when I can find it in me to write, they typically take priority over the fact that I enjoy these so much!!!
But even with that, I do my best to reach out and chat with people. I want to get to know people, I don’t want people to feel like I’m limited when I’m not. Cece and I aren’t exclusives in most places and fully support interacting with duplicate muses. The only ones are Beat and Rhyme and even then there are exceptions. I love seeing various takes and expanding on dynamics with new, potential friends!
Back to the original point, it’s not cool, it’s not right.
I’ve had people bait me with triggering things that I won’t expand on, I’ve had people take advantage of my own really bad mental health struggles in exchange for comfort and my attention. And while I’m not going to dig too deep into it, I've hardly been able to do much, or rather as much on the dash compared to when I started these blogs because my own mental health has been terrible. This isn't the place to unpack all of that and a lot of it is super personal that I'd rather keep it to myself and away from the dash but the point I'm wanting to make here is that I have been juggling my own mental health and these false accusations and twisting of the stories absolutely hasn't been helping.
It’s up to me to curate my own space, it’s up to me to handle myself if I’m having a bad day, it’s up to me to keep my dash clean and my mental health isn’t anybody else’s obligation.
And that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do.
I would have been alright with letting everything go, with carrying this on as just a between us situation but the more I start to think it over, the more unfair I realize it is to us.
I hate feeling like I’ve been backed into a corner and I don’t want to remain silent about it anymore. Please take this not as a callout again, that’s not what this is intended for, it’s just my side of a problem that’s been taking place for months now. Whatever you need to do as a result of this please do, I’ll understand, curate your space. I just wanted to tell my side because it’s fair.
