#nektari

[kaktusguleasikoldu]

[osekkaiyaki]

super late bday present for @nektariistic/ @azuretyphoon/ @libertica

[cicekmodelleri]

Çiçek Türleri

Çiçek Türleri Çiçek birçok türler arasında önemli farklılıklar vardır. Çiçekler bir bitki üzerinde farklı yerlerde ortaya çıkabilir. Bir lale gibi Terminal çiçekler, dik sap apeks veya sonunda çiçek, tek çiçekler vardır. Diğer çiçekler bir çiçeklenme, bireysel çiçeklerin dallı bir küme ortaya çıkar. Begonias bu tip bir örnektir. O bitkinin kök verdiği bir yaprak taban büyümesi Bu çiçekler…

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[kafasibozukadin]

Eğer uslu bi cocuk olursanız şirinler görebilirsiniz. #Şirinler #Mavi #Kayısı #Nektari #Koton #Lojistik #Sarıgazi #Sancaktepe

[sagiso]

Mighty morphin' power rangers: Landsharks, giant worms and crocodiles, oh my!

In which we do a half-forgotten recap, send two level 3 party members out to tackle a CR 7 enemy and run into an old aquintance.

Also Molgera.

Cast list:

  Nektari: Male fox hengeyokai – Necromancer (wizard)

Aska: Male pygmy falcon hengeyokai – Sorcerer

Kees: Female Halfling – Rogue

Tivonah: Female human – Ranger

Wolodemyr (Wolo): Male human – Fighter

Dwegol: Male(?) gargoyle – Still taking racial levels

Therrin: Male dwarf – Barbarian

  ----------------------------------------------------------------

  Okay first of all I suppose I’ll admit that this is gonna be vague as all hell, especially the first part because wow, how many weeks ago did that take place? I don’t even know. But I’ll try to get the essentials down anyway.

  Anyhow, when we last left off it seemed like we were about to depart to the northern temple right away, but that wasn’t actually what happened, nope. See, the party decided to chill a bit in town, possibly to make sure that they were well rested before heading out to face their certain doom. Or that was the case for most of them anyway, but not for our lovely duo consisting of Kees and Wolo (or Yzma and Kronk as we like to refer to them). They decided that now would be a good time to head out and get that whole fruit picking/stealing thing done and over with. The orchard that was the to-be target for this raid wasn’t all too far away, so they could probably get it done before it would become an inconvenience for the party.

  Well, time-wise it didn’t turn out too inconvenient but…

  Ah well, we’ll be getting to that.

  In any case, the two of them didn’t exactly tell the party about the specific details that their quest entailed, possibly out of worry that others in the party would disapprove (good call), so rather than bring the whole team along, Kees asked to borrow the bag of holding for a bit so that she and Wolo could go and get some things done.

  Now that bag is kinda important, but Aska agreed to let her have it, partially because I knew they would probably need it for this and partly because I am now terrified of the dragon egg hatching while it’s in the bag, and thus impossible for anyone to notice.

  Because you know, a bag of holding only has about ten minutes worth of breathable air, and I don’t wanna risk killing a baby dragon. The mother was pissed enough just from someone stealing it…

  But I digress, Kees aquired the bag and departed with her loyal fighter bro in tow, leaving Aska and Nektari behind to throw a fancy tea party and Therring and Dweggy to search for a nice shiny stone for Therrin’s pet stone crab to use as a shell.

  The trip to the orchard actually went pretty calmly and peacefully, nothing attacked and it wasn’t long before the duo spotted a change in the weather conditions; a very local change that is. See, most of this plane is desert, but it appeared that someone had magic’d in place some rain clouds to give shelter and water for the orchard, so the clouds covered pretty much only the fenced in land, and was doing a mighty fine job of keeping the trees healthy and the ground a veritable mud pit.

  But hey, it’s not like a little bit of mud is gonna stop anyone.

  Actually, the fence didn’t really stop them either, Wolo managed to eventually climb it and Kees with her ridiculous skill point ranks pretty much flew over it in a show that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Olympics. After this, however, the problems started…

  Well okay, not right away. They managed to get some fruit before Wolo’s armor check penalty threatened to rouse a beast that the two of them had not noticed in the gloomy weather. Said beast was chained close to the house that presumably belonged to the owner of the orchard and would in all likelihood tear the duo several new ones if they actually woke it from its slumber, you know, in true guard-doggy fashion.

  … Except I don’t think most guard dogs looks like steelplated landsharks, which this one very much succeeded at. The creature in question turned out to be a Bulette:  http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/4e/20071211_drdd_1full.jpg and well, let’s just say that just the fact that this thing was present was a pretty good indicator that splitting the party is a really fucking bad idea, even when it seems like a harmless thing to do.

  See, a Bulette has a CR of 7, which means that it is a moderate challenge for a party of characters around that level. Incidentally, this also means that a duo of level 3 characters have absolutely no business being anywhere even remotely near that thing.

  Unfortunately, by the time they noticed it, it was a bit late to turn back. Suddenly rolls started to go awry and getting around to what trees did not appear to be within the reach of its chain did not turn out to be as easy as one might’ve liked. In short order the two of them were covered in mud, had a few more fruits to their name… and also a very much awake and pissed off Bulette growling at them in as menacing a manner as only an armored landshark can.

  Which I’d imagine is quite menacing, just saying.

  Given the circumstances, and the fact that a light was coming on inside the house, it was probably for the best that the two of them decided to abscond right the hell out of there as quickly as their feet could carry them; which, given the mud wasn’t very fast, but still! By now they were wet, covered in mud and in the case of Kees, a bit of blood after the Bulette had nipped at her fingers for 6 damage (further proof that the two of them were ill suited to take it on alone). Oh yeah, and Kees was still glowing brilliantly underneath the blood and mud… so I’m assuming they were quite a sight. Not that they wanted to be seen though, and I think they managed to avoid just that by pretty much vaulting over the fence just as a small whispy-looking guy… no actually I can’t remember what he looked like, goddamnit. Whatever, the orchard’s owner emerged from his house and called out to his dear pet, who turned out to be named “Betsy” , asking if there was someone out there and cursing fruit thieves in general.

  … And then he let her off the chain.

  Kees and Wolo probably broke some sort of sprint record in their haste to get the hell away from orchard and murderous landshark alike. Though to be fair it was Wolo who did the running, Kees’s shorter legs weren’t quite as well suited for long distance running and so she just clung to his back for dear life while he cross-country’d back towards the capitol city.

  This was actually pretty unnerving for everyone present in the chat. Two of our party members were in all likelihood on the run from a monster that in all likelihood would murder them outright if it caught up and the rest of the party were nowhere near, had no idea where the two had gone, and had no reason to suspect that the two might be in need of aid. So yeah, we were pretty much all sitting there hoping that Wolo could outrun Betsy.

  And it actually seemed like he did! Though our Dm called for some spot checks and fort saves, there were no sign of a pursuing metal monster and our warrior managed to keep running pretty much all the way back to the capitol. Granted, by the time he got there, he was fatigued and the city gate guards were looking at the two skeptically, seeing as they both looked quite worse for wear. But hey, at least they were home free, right?

  Fuck no!

  As the two greeted the guards, Betsy pretty much just fucking exploded out of the ground, leaping surprisingly high into the air and landing with a damn heavy thud; her attention set on the human and Halfling and I dunno, possibly everything else as well. Keep in mind that this is pretty much nature’s version of a tank, complete with metal shields, and that the capitol city is made of frickin GLASS. Not even anywhere near the best of combinations.

  Of course, the guards weren’t too happy about this, but the discussion had to wait, because you know, there was a… I dunno, probably several tons worth of destructiveness incarnate about to knock down their front door, and everyone in the general vicinity as well. This of course included the culprits who were presumably wearing the best “Oh crap” expressions in all of the desert plane.

  Thankfully they weren’t alone in having noticed the new arrival. Therrin and Dweggy had spent the majority of the day wandering around the city looking for shiny stones and as luck would have it, they were walking along the upper parts of the city walls when the Bulette decided to go “Hai gais!” Granted, they were still a bit aways (or more like above) but not worse than that they would be able to join the battle in a few rounds.

  Well, Therrin at least, Dweggy decided to fly off and get the magicians while the dwarf attempted to slide down an incline by the city walls.

  Anyhow, roll for initiative!

  Turns out that the guards were a bit more on the ball than our heroes were, or at least one of them were. Too bad I jotted them down as guard 1 and guard 2 in my notes so which one is the earth elemental and which is the fire elemental is anyone’s guess. But whatever, the first of the guards opened the battle by reaching for a horn and blowing in it, presumably to summon reinforcements in the case that those would be needed, which they probably would.

  Kees on the other hand had a more offensive strategy in mind, a more stabby strategy. This involved prompty rolling a critical hit and then stabbing Betsy in the face with one of her daggers; and as impressive as it was that she managed to can opener her way through those plates, it only caused Betsy to look more pissed off than impressed by this feat.

  Anyhow, next up was Wolo, and he actually took after Kees in his endeavor to once again bring peace back to the city in what I assume is the most basic strategy among fighters. Which apparently involves rolling a natural twenty and then nearly gouge half of the opponents face off by inflicting 32 points of damage, I have no idea what weapon he used though.

  Unfortunately, having nearly half of one’s face taken off tends to piss off the victim of such an attack, and thus Betsy turned her raging attention towards our dear fighter friend. Betsy then proceeded to pretty much maul Wolo with both her claws and a rather nasty bite. All in all, this actually picked off most of Wolo’s HP, leaving him with only one left to his name and just enough consciousness to curse the dice gods.

  Now that I think about it, guard 1 might’ve been the fire elemental, ‘cause after Wolo’s turn, guard number two decided to interfere with the soon-to-be-fighter-pancake-making and push Wolo out of the way, putting himself between Betsy and our dear fighter while Shouting to the prone warrior that he should “Leave this to the men!”

  By this point, Dweggy’s frantic wingbeats had brought him to the house where the party resided for the duration of their visit and was busy knocking on the door and shouting at the two magicians that Kees and Wolo were being attacked and needed help. Naturally, this made Aska feel like bashing his head against the nearest wall to see what gave way first, because he has said on multiple occasions that he cannot leave the others alone for even five minutes without something going to hell, and is also at least partially convinced that the party will eliminate their abilities to re-visit any town they have previously been in, just because they will no longer be welcome.

  But regardless, the mentally weary sorcerer and not quite so weary necromancer agreed to help and thus began to make their way to where shit was going down. Actually, Nektari didn’t even need to wait that long, because he was able to use his nifty shadowstride ability to jump straight to Kees’s and Wolo’s location, if slightly behind where the action was taking place.

  Unfortunately he wasn’t able to join the combat just yet though, and thus the fire guard had to step in and try to keep the Bulette from smashing everything via means of brute force, to moderate success; which is more than can be said about Kees’s next attempt at stabbing Betsy. Our dear Halfling rolled so poorly that her blade ended up being embedded in the ground rather than in the enemy, which really isn’t all that productive.

  Meanwhile, Wolo was attempting to both keep himself away from being flattened by a multi-ton metal beast and still providing some actual battle support. Rather than wasting time getting up, he opted for scooting back as far as was humanly possible and pulling out his shortbow, though unfortunately he couldn’t fire it in the same round.

  With her prey of choice lost, Betsy had to make do with what was available, which is to say the earth elemental guard and Kees. Thankfully her bite wasn’t accurate enough to crush either, but the claw attacks took a big chunk out of Kees’s HP and a much more literal chunk out of the guard’s chest. The guy who had only moments before told Wolo to leave the battling to the men was now knocked to the ground, presumably unconscious but at least not quite dead. He would in all likelihood not be able to contribute to the battle anymore though.

  At this point, Nektari was about ready to join in on the fun, which he proceeded to do with a ray of frost spell, which left a frozen patch on the Bulette’s back. This damage was soon joined by that from a cut from the fire guard’s sword and a dagger that Kees threw after having acrobated herself some distance away from the increasingly pissed off Betsy. The fact that the dagger hit one of her eyes did absolutely nothing to alleviate the landsharks anger, rather, she just opted for giving Kees the evil eye to the extent it was possible at that point.

  By now Therring was finally about done sliding and tumbling down from his descent down the city walls, and without stopping to think, he rushed ahead at Betsy with his axe ready to strike… which did absolutely nothing at all upon colliding with the monster’s thick faceplates. Well, nothing except causing Therrin’s axe to ignite that is.

  I still do not understand the appeal of having a weapon that unpredictably bursts into flames like that, but to each their own I suppose.

  Fortunately, Therrin wasn’t the only one to arrive at this point. Dweggy and Aska were flying in as well to join the battle. The former hurried to our fallen fighter with a cure light wounds potion ready to be offered while the latter decided to swoop in and launch a lesser orb of cold at Betsy, which did some decent damage and made the Bulette somewhat resemble an icy hedgehog.

   Not one to waste any time, Wolo happily accepted the health potion and a swing of medicine later, he was back on his feet, or at least able to get on his feet, should he want to do so. But instead he opted for attempting to shoot Betsy… which didn’t really work out too well as the arrow just bounced off.

  By now Betsy was pretty darn pissed off, and eyeing the Halfling that she had 1. chased across a desert and 2. that had pretty much half-blinded her, so she did what any good metallic landshark would do in such a situation; which is to say that she rushed forward and practically threw herself at Kees in an attempt to grapple her.

  Thankfully Kees was fast enough on her feet to avoid being grappled, but slightly less fortunately was that her only way of escape proved to be downwards. So she did the whole stop drop and roll routine, effectively placing her under the bulette… which I assume is slightly more out of the way of danger, but not completely so.

  In an attempt to save his short statured friend from… whatever fate might befall her at this rate, Nektari opted for a color spray spell. But unfortunately it appeared that Betsy had no intention whatsoever to taste the rainbow, and the magic colors pretty much just melted away harmlessly without inflicting much of an effect on their target.

  As luck would have it though, the battle was approaching its end, the still standing guard opted for some first aid and healed some of his injuries and Kees decided to attempt to do what a rogue does best, namely to stab their target with a dagger (which in Kees’s case would be the equivalent of a shortsword). However, this proved quite futile, as the bulette did in fact sport thick metal plates even on its stomach. So much for a blatantly obvious weak point…

  Therrin on the other hand was slightly more effective in his work, which is to say that he rolled a critical hit with his flaming axe and was able to land such a heavy blow to the creature that it severed its spine. Leaving Betsy helpless and dying as she collapsed…

  Right on top of Kees.

  Good job guys.

  It took the guys several attempts and the aid of the recovering guards (the fire elemental guard had provided his fallen friend with a potion by then) before they were able to push Betsy’s corpse off off Kees, and by then the Halfling had taken enough crushing damage to have fallen well into unconsciousness.

  So it was time for the usual routine of Aska having to heal the smallest source of not-so-little-annoyance he had ever come across. It wasn’t enough to completely restore her to full health, but it did get a good chunk of her HP back and brought her to consciousness once more… only for the first thing she saw to be the very displeased looking face of the sorcerer. Sufficient to say, Aska was NOT happy with… whatever shit it was that she and Wolo had caused to get them into this particular mess and yes, he was pretty sure that it was their fault.

  Unfortunately the guards were also rather unhappy with the appearance of a frickin bulette in their nice glass city, and were quite suspicious of Wolo and Kees. Once again it appeared that the crew had gotten themselves into a situation that might result in a point of no return town, but thanks to some good bluff rolls, the two were able to cook up a somewhat convincing lie about having been randomly attacked by this stray beast during their morning walk and not having had any idea that it had followed them back.

  Maybe not exactly a completely foolproof lie, but it was good enough, especially as the party had aided in slaying the monster, and thus they were effectively allowed off the hook… that time, at least. They were also warned not to cause any further trouble, which I assume means that we will no doubt end up causing some catastrophe before they are able to get back to the prime material plane.

  Ah well, at least the party was able to return to the house in which they were staying to rest and recover… and in the case of Kees and Wolo, to wash the dust, mud and blood off themselves.

  And in the case of Therrin, to thoroughly dismember the bulette’s corpse, sell its meat and take the metal plates back for… whatever purpose he had behind that, I can’t remember much of it except that it took an ungodly amount of time.

  Anyhow, once rested and recovered the next day, the group finally deemed that it was time to set out for the northern temple, and remembering that old noble’s words, they went up there to seek him out and inquire about those “means of fast travel” that he had previously talked about. Turns out he was more than happy to provide his aid, and also that that means for rapid traveling was a sort of huge metal rocket/torpedo that said old man sent off in the general direction of the temple once all the party members had scampered inside.

  MMPR PARTY BLASTING OFF FOR THE FIRST TIME! But knowing us, probably not for the last.

  The trip actually went surprisingly painlessly, and soon enough there was a telltale impact of the shuttle hitting ground. The party ventured out and, to their great relief, were able to spot the temple within a few hundred yards distance. So yeah, they hadn’t been thrown haplessly into the desert far away from everything in general, that’s a good thing.

  There were of course guards around the temple, and they weren’t all too happy to see the crew, but the official documents that had been provided by the castle’s staff proved to be enough for them to be allowed inside without further incident.

  And well… it’s been far too long for me to remember much of the interior’s description. It was dark, there seemed to be a broken elevator leading down into a chasm/huge round well, and thankfully some alternative means of descent in the firm of small passageways and stairs leading downwards. At some point the party ran into the ghost of some dude who I have no idea what he was called. This ghost proceeded to warn the party about the evil sealed down below, how many lives had been sacrificed to seal the beast to the extent that it had been and that it would be foolish to proceed. Indeed, it also appeared that there was another there already; who had not heeded the ghost’s warnings, though said ghost was sure that the temple robber would get what was coming for him.

  Well… unfortunately for mister ghost, the party did not exactly pay him all that much heed either, and thus proceeded onwards.

  Soon enough the group actually came across some evidence that mr ghost hadn’t been completely off in his claims. A corpse with what appeared to be a half filled bag was seemingly trapped under a fallen stone pillar, presumably the eventual cause of his death. However, it was pretty clear that he did not have a need for his spoils anymore and so the party took a look at what the bag contained… which I believe meant some extra gold, a strange lantern that appeared enchanted but also gave the magic users a feeling that there was something distinctly off about it, the ring that Aska had been asked to search for and the most interesting find of all that will probably be the party’s mascot from now on: Namely a small golden statue of a muscular guy who appeared to be both flexing and grinning at the party.

  Well, to tell the truth, they were kinda unnerved by the statue at first, and stuffed it into the bag that they decided to bring along, figuring that they could sell said statue later. However, it seemed that no matter how they packed it, the statue was still sticking out through the opening, still flexing and grinning in the general direction of the rest of the party… Weird, yes, but that’s part of the charm and I believe that we are warming up to the guy. There has been some discussion of getting a shirt for the statue though…

  But that’s sidetracking that I don’t have time for!

  Anyhow, the party did eventually make their way down to what appeared to be the lowest level and ended up in a huge room that I believe was circular, because boss rooms are always circular so it seems appropriate. What’s more important though was that the place was absolutely LOADED with treasure. Gold, gems, artifact, you name it, it was in all likelihood there. Unfortunately there was something else there too, namely a huge if not gargantuan sized worm-like creature that appeared to be trapped both via means of a large sword sticking out of it, presumably acting as some sort of seal, as well as a gateway similar to the one the party had previously stepped though, which I believe was activated and the creature was caught halfway through in. So I guess one could appropriately say that the creature was appropriately stuck in a…

  *Applies sunglasses*

  … Wormhole.

  Oh, and yes, said creature was definitely Molgera.

  Fuck.

  As a change from the party’s horrid luck in general when it comes to encounters, there was no boss battle music immediately starting, and Molgera appeared to remain trapped as she had been. That’s not to say that all was fine and dandy though, because there was some movement by one of the treasure piles, albeit not caused by the wind waker immigrant…

  Turns out it was the aforementioned temple robber, also turns out that said temple robber was a half alligator man… or more accurately, a lycanthrope.

  Turns out it was none other than Draven.

  Since it’s been so long, let’s just say that Draven was the dude who pretended to be on our side, then betrayed the party and promised to kill them before the white dragon decided to be a party crasher and pretty much everyone had to flee to this very plane that the group were now trapped on. Oh, and he was pretty much indirectly the cause of Kees contacting lycanthropy as well, seeing as he had appeared to have been the leader of the werecrocs (not the shoes, amusing as it would’ve been).

  In any case, the guy looked up from his current occupation of shoveling gold and treasure into a bag and noticed the party. It’s difficult to say if either party were displeased to see the other, because pretty much both factors wanted a piece (or several) of the other by now and giant worm be damned, there was going to be some bloodshed without it getting to partake.

  In fact, Draven seemed quite amused to see the party again, and quite appreciated that he would now get to kill the group. Naturally said group did not comply, but retorted that he’d be the one paying for all that he’d done, and so initiatives were rolled.

  … But not before Draven’s companion, a huge crocodile (dire crocodile? I can’t remember) crawled forth from wherei t had been hidden by the bulk of Molgera and joined its master to aid him.

  Ah well, it was still five against two, what’s the worst that could happen?

  Anyway, roll for initiative!

  Ever the quickfooted little rogue, Kees was the one to act first, which she did by throwing a dagger at the crocodile (who appeared to be named Gerddie by the way). Her aim was for the crocodile’s eye, but unfortunately the dagger missed its mark and left only a cut across the reptile’s cheek instead.

  Therrin on the other hand seemed to be more angry than anything else at meeting this old antagonist again, and like a good barbarian he immediately flew into a rage, dashing forward and scoring a critical hit against Draven. However, even with the axe striking true against the werecroc’s chest, this seemed to cause him little pain, as he took the attack with little more than a grunt of pain. Still though, Draven appeared none too pleased about Therrin actually having hit him, and managed to disarm the dwarf immediately afterward, all while uttering the classical villain line of “You’ll regret the day you decided to screw with me!”

  … I’ll assume he meant that in the context of interfering with his plans.

  Next up was Nektari, who as we have learned is a surprisingly badass wizard when it comes to wressling with critters that wizards shouldn’t have any business being near. And he continued to prove this as he simply sauntered up to Gerddie while preparing a shocking grasp spell. Naturally a touch attack like that did provoke and attack of opportunity, but Nektari proved his badassitude by simply sidestepping the reptile’s tail swipe and proceeded to shock her for a good fifteen hp worth of damage.

  Aska wasn’t one to be outdone in the magic department, and as such decided to try out his new spell, lesser orb of cold, against Gerddie. However, this spell proved slightly difficult to work with, as the sorcerer ended up accidentally overpowering it (natural 20). Though the damage rolls still proved a bit lackluster, the attack did at least do 12 damage as well as succeeding at giving Gerddie a rather impressive set of icy eyebrows.

  … And that’s about where Nektari’s good fortune ended, because Gerddie’s turn rolled around and she went directly for the fancily outhatted magician. Roaring and giving him a rather nasty blow with her tail, the crocodile effectively dished out 12 damage to the wizard… which was quite a bit of his max hp I assume.

  Thankfully Wolo was quick to come to the rescue. And for once the dice gods seemed to smile in approval at the fighter’s actions as he successfully brought his scythe down on Gerddie, drawing her focus away from the magicians as well as quite a lot of blood as he hit her in one of her legs.

  Now, with all the crocodileness going around, Kees wanted to try something new, which is to say that she was going to bring her inner crocodile under control and turn into the hybrid form that her lycanthropy provided. It would take a bit to do so though, and thus her turn ended just as quickly as it had begun.

  Meanwhile, Therrin was busy attempting to retrieve his axe from where it had fallen. Unfortunately this provoked an attack of opportunity that Draven was quick to take advantage off as his claws raked some deep scores in the dwarf’s flesh. Therrin however, managed to persevere and grabbed his axe before striking right back at his tormentor. Only for it to do very little damage upon contact with the werecroc’s scales, eliciting a mocking laughter from Draven. Although apparently this was enough to set Therrin’s axe ablaze again.

  What an odd weapon.

  Actually there were attacks of opportunity all around it seemed, for right afterwards Draven chose to try and trip Therrin. This gave the dwarf the opportunity to strike the werecroc once more, and he took good advantage of that. Even better though, Draven did not quite manage to trip the barbarian, and thus his turn was wasted.

  Next up was Nektari again, and though the wozard looked a bit worse for wear, he was still able to focus enough power to conjure up a flaming sphere right on top of Gerddie. Though not enough to take her out, this did cause the crocodile to look quite a bit more charred. And with that window of opportunity provided, Aska chose to rush over to his magic buddy to heal him for just as much as Gerddie had inflicted.

  Thankfully Gerddie did not take notice of this, for she was quite occupied with being aflame and also with the fighter standing before her. Unfortunately Wolo was unable to avoid being bitten for a total of seventeen damage, but fighters are a bit sturdier than magicians, and so he took it without much complaint and even managed to find the strength needed to push Gerddie’s jaws away as she attempted to initiate a grapple.

  Actually, Wolo had even more strength than that, which he proved by applying even more damage to the already worn looking crocodile via means of scythe. With a mighty swing he managed to lodge the blade in the reptile’s eye and, combined with the damage from the still ongoing flaming sphere, finally bring an end to the menace known as Gerddie.

  Well, that meant it was now five against one, and Kees was finally ready for action what with her having successfully transformed into her hybrid form. Unfortunately this did not mean that she was unstoppable, as was proven when she attempted to stab Draven. For the senior werecroc simply caught her blade in his hand, pushing it aside while laughing about that while she might have mastered one of her forms, that did in no way mean that they were equal.

  I’m actually pretty curious what Draven’s AC and DR (if he had any) were, for Therrin’s next attack missed and pretty much all of the attacks until that point had been relatively ineffective. Then again, Draven’s accuracy did not seem to be all that much better, for even with a full attack of two clawed hands and a vicious bite, he was only able to take his hatred out on the dwarf with one claw attack. Perhaps because Therrin stood so short above the ground. In any case the low damage output was not bad enough to bother the barbarian much.

  What happened next was actually kinda funny, because after some discussion we actually figured out that yes, a flaming sphere can effectively be made to jump. And thus Nektari successfully made the firey mass leap from Gerddie’s corpse and onto Draven. Presumably he had not expected such a turn of events, for Draven failed his reflex save and ended up screaming in pain as the flames scorched him.

  And that’ about when the karma gods decided to extract payments for my earlier critical hit via means of making Aska critfail with his next orb of cold spell. The chilly mass of energy went awry of its target and ended up hitting Therrin instead of Draven. Cue a rather unhappy dwarf flipping the sorcerer off and said sorcerer kinda just shrugging.

  Seeing as he had been successful so far, Wolo quickly leapt into action and rushed forward, attempting to lop Draven’s head off with his scythe. Unfortunately this proved to be significantly less effective than his earlier attacks, and Draven simply ducked under the sharp blade as it whistled through the air.

  At this point it was becoming quite clear that just striking and hoping for the best was not going to work effectively against Draven. For once it seemed that a plan would actually be necessary and the party quickly agreed on one that seemed both relatively simple and sensible… if not entirely up to standards of fair play.

  Which basically meant that they were going to overtake Draven by sheer number alone and group-grapple him into submission so that the others could actually get some clean shots in.

  Though the werecrocodile managed to break free of the initial grappling attempt made by Kees, Therrin and Aska were soon able to pin their opponent to the floor via means of combined efforts. It did help a bit that at this point I’d remembered that hey, we had almost literally done this before, and we had the weapon for it too!

  So uh… Wolo ended up beating Draven into unconsciousness with repeated blows to the head with that silver sap that we had received earlier. And with his were-form faded along with his consciousness, so after that it was all too simple for Kees to effectively bite his head off, after quite a bit of arguing about who would get the honor of killing this menace.

  I’m kinda glad out good natured cleric wasn’t present for that session. Because I doubt that dogpiling, savagely beating and then killing an effectively defenseless man would’ve gone over well with Dweggy.

  Oh well, at least that was taken care of, and the party were able to scout out some artifacts that I will spend some daily spells on identifying shortly. The party will probably have to rest a bit before tackling Molgera, but I doubt she’s going anywhere.

  Seeing as she’s stuck in the wormhole.

  Heh.

  Anyway, I gotta run and post this before the next session starts in… five minutes ago.

  Fuck.

  - LINI OUT

[sagiso]

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: Gotta climb the colossus

It’s that time again, my friends, another session of MMPR summaried in one far too long post!

  Rolecall!

  Aska: Male hengeyokai (pygmy falcon) – Sorcerer

Nektari: Male hengeyokai (fox) – Wizard (necromancer)

Kees: Female Halfling – Rogue

Tivonah: Female human – Ranger

Wolodemyr (Wolo): Male human – Fighter

Dwegol: Male(?) gargoyle - ???

Therrin: Male dwarf – Barbarian

  Llllet’s summarise!

------------------------------------------------------------------

  Okay so when we last left our heroes + Kees, they had descended into a cave of general unknown-ness and of course found themselves in the midst of a rather huge brood of eggs… dozens and dozens of them, right smack dab in the middle of what we had learned to be a desert filled to the brim with unpleasant critters.

  So yeah, not exactly a promising situation.

  It also turned out that the party weren’t alone in the chamber, for on the opposite side of it, there was a hooded figure picking up said eggs and stuffing them into a sack of sorts, with their back to our party.

  So what does our heroes do to catch the attention of this person? Why, Kees demonstrated the answer to this question by picking up one of the nearest eggs and chucking it at the stranger.

  I’m pretty sure she landed a critical hit to boot.

  Granted, this didn’t really hurt the person in question, though it did well enough at pissing her off. As it turned out, the party suddenly found themselves facing a rather angry woman with red skin and flaming hair. Needless to say, she was pretty hot, but also quite bothered by the party’s mere presence.

  First impressions will do that I suppose.

  Thankfully the woman in question did not attack, did demand that the party leave her alone to her business, to which the more diplomatic members assured that they would certainly do so, but that they were unable to easily climb back up the same way that they had come down into the cave, and then proceeded to ask if she could point them in the direction of another exit so that they could be out of her hair all the faster.

  Oh, I forgot to mention, but upon picking up that egg, Kees’s radiant light powers had done a pretty good job as shining it through so that we could see what was on the inside and subsequently just how fucked we were. Turns out the egg just contained what Therrin recognized as a baby rock crab, which honestly are fairly harmless, or at least they had been as far as we were concerned. The fiery lady must have felt similarly about the darn little things, because upon some prompting as to her business there, she had also shared the information that she collected those eggs for the sake of herself and her family, presumably as dinner, or that’s what I’m going to go with anyway.

  But yes, the fiercy fury appeared to be contemplating helping the party out in a quite literal sense, however, nothing can be quite so easy in our campaigns so while she was mulling this over, the party spotted a rather nasty looking creature descending the wall behind her; something akin to a centipede whose inner and under body seemed to be glowing with intense warmth.

  Of course, since we had previously ran into the spawn of Molgera, the more Legend of Zelda-savvy of us were pretty quick to figure out just what this meant; which was that Molgera apparently wasn’t the only Wind Waker monster to send her minions into this campaign, but that Gohma had followed suit with her Magtails!

http://zeldawiki.org/images/thumb/7/76/Magtail_Figurine.png/160px-Magtail_Figurine.png

(although without the blatantly obvious weak point, as our GM pointed out)

  This unpleasant new arrival wasted no time in attempting to attack the fiery but sadly unaware lady while her back was turned and her guard was down, but thanks to the party’s quite frantic warnings, she did manage to escape at least relatively unscathed (or completely? I can’t remember) and get out of dodge. Sadly, this didn’t seem to do much to deter the Magtail, which merely screeched at our heroes and clicked its mandibles in what I assume to have been a threatening manner.

  Roll for initiative!

  Our dear little Halfling, ever so quick on her feet got the first turn and, having learned well from her past encounter with the booty-biting-worm, she sidled up to a wall and opted for ranged combat, a wise decision seeing as those mandibles looked quite a bit meaner than the jaws of our previous foes. Thus a dagger went hurtling through the air towards the Magtail and… harmlessly bounced off its armour, turned out this critter was quite thought skinned.

  After that it became a bit messier, as in memory wise for me because hahah notes what are those? I do however know that our more melee oriented friends charged up to the Magtail with their swords eerily catching and reflecting the light radiating from Kees and firebased beings as they descended towards the centipede-like being, only for said swords to get stuck in the wall behind it. I don’t know the stats for Magtails, but that armor class must make them pretty hard to hit with weapons.

  I can’t really say that magic was all the more effective either, although Aska did manage to partially put the flames of the Magtail out with a well aimed ray of frost, it didn’t really do much damage in the end, gotta get myself some more powerful spells I suppose.

  Special mentioning should also go to Dwegol, our dear gargoyle who couldn’t make it last session, although because he is rather limited in means of weapons, he instead opted for throwing an egg at the magtail which I know scored a critical, because Swizz’s cheering is hard to forget. Unfortunately the egg damage didn’t really do much more than fizzle into a rock-crab-omelette due to the heat emitting from our foe. Hadn’t we been in combat, I could bet gold on that at least one of our party members would have tried to eat it.

  Thankfully after that, we had with combined efforts managed to take a chip out of the Magtail’s though armour, and wouldn’t you know it, Kees, managed to roll well enough to score a hit right in that weak spot with enough damage that the Magtail’s body sort of… dripped out from in-between the segments of armor that it sported, I suppose having your body partially subsist of magma can result in that.

  Cue the Final Fantasy victory fanfare.

  However, all wasn’t daisies and roses, for suddenly what seemed like something akin to an earthquake struck; lava dripped from the ceiling and an ominous rumbling was coming from some unidentified location or all around at the same time, not a promising sign. Now, all of us are seasoned Minecraft players, so we know better than to stick around in places where there’s liquid rock dripping from the ceiling, though I suppose that it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that that’s a bad omen; in any case the hot chick that we had encountered decided that now would be a good idea to show the party the way out, and they were fairly quick to comply with this.

  After some running through tunnels and heading upwards, the party finally surfaced about 100 or so feet from where they could see that they had previously parked their wagon, since they could see this they also figured that the sandstorm had subsided and indeed, there was no longer a metric fuckton of sand flying freely about in the air. Another thing that they also noticed was that the mountain that they had parked by had by now gotten up on huge but spindly legs and decided that it wanted to relocate.

  Wait what?

  So uh… yeah, the mountain was now walking around, albeit rather slowly and haphazardly, though the latter I’ll attribute to the fact that it was more likely than not checking on its nest that someone had disturbed and partially destroyed. That “someone” would of course be us, the people who were now in the process of figuring out just how ridiculously big those rock crabs can potentially become.

  As big as a mountain, apparently.

  However, as luck would have it the mountain crab didn’t seem to particularly mind the party as the rushed in amongst those legs that were dangerously stomping around, each one of them certainly large enough to crush both adventurers and precious cargo, should it come to that. And because no intentional attempts were made to avenge the crushed eggs with what would have been a rather befitting “eye-for-an-eye” mentality, the party were allowed to relatively safely board the wagon and GTFO as quickly as the metal horse could pull them.

  About now is also that one of the many sidequests that our DM has been handing out to individual party members became apparent, because our dear ranger, Tivonah, took one look back at the mountain crab and to the great discomfort of the rest of the party, decided to pull a bomb out of her backpack. Turns out that someone back in the town that we had left, I think it might’ve been the Salamander guy, had bestowed upon Tivonah a quest to take out this monstrosity and mark its location on a map so that the townsfolk might later track it down and pick it apart for food. Now, keep in mind that this thing was the size of a frickin MOUNTAIN which I think I have by now sufficiently stressed, so outrightly killing it with sword or magic would have been difficult, especially given that the party were, at this point level 2 or 3, so all that Tivonah was supposed to do was to plant bombs in strategic locations on the crab and then detonate those in order to take out its legs.

  Sounds a bit simpler that killing a creature that big, doesn’t it?

  Of course, actually getting up to those locations- which I assume were leg-joints or knees or whatever the heck rock crabs have, was still going to be tricky, so Ley had to roll for climb and use rope checks aplenty, all while the party stared in amazement as Tivonah ran back and started to climb up onto a creature that was at least hundreds of times her own size to find those magical weak points.

  And from somewhere, somehow, music could suddenly be heard as she swung from leg to leg, as if to encourage her heroics and general dismissal of caution and common sense alike:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuXDuRURwIg&list=PL18DBEECFC210572E

  I’m not sure how exactly she did it, but after the final bomb was placed and the fuses or whatever else means were used to detonate the bombs properly lit, our heroic ranger leap down from her perch somewhere high above the party’s heads, landed safely in the sand and calmly walked towards her waiting friends, not once looking back as the explosion sounded with timing precise enough to spare her from injury but still create the maximum framing and dramatic clothes-whipping-about-in-the-diminishing-shockwave effect.

  And as the mountain came crumbling down behind her, Tivonah calmly pulled up the map that she had been given, marked the location of her fallen foe and then pocketed it again, presumably while stating “mission accomplished” with a flair of pure badass.

  Cue the cheering from the rest of the party.

  After plenty of clapping and perhaps even a few autographs, the party decided one more to be on their way, a trip that took them the remainder of the day and the night as well. Yet another day of relatively uncomfortable sleep had now been spent in the confines of a bumpy and more than just a little bit damaged wagon, but the sight that greeted them raised their spirits along with the morning sun.

  Finally the mountains, hopefully real ones, were there to mark the horizon, and as the party approached, a sight of true wonder greeted them. A city made from what appeared to be glass rested along one of the mountainsides, dwindling quite a bit up it and with one or two impressive statues depicting some to our party unknown deity or hero.

  … Man this sounded way better when Nick was the one describing it.

  Anyhow, after much effort it appeared that the party had finally reached a city that might just provide proper lodgings (and a maybe even frickin BATH!) Although there were guards standing by the gates, one earth elemental and one that I assume was a fire elemental of some sort; and as we had come to know from experience, this would more likely than not result in a language barrier. Just our luck.

  But wait, we had Dwegol with us now! And he speaks Terran! Though before he was able to say anything, Therrin had stepped forward with his little Terran phrasebook in hand, with that he would be able to speak about five words in the desired language as long as he got some time to look things up. Now I’m not sure what those five words were but it wasn’t exactly impressive, or that’s what the fire elemental must have thought at least, since he stepped forward and asked if Therrin was retarded or something, going by his impaired speech.

  Yep, turns out that the two of them spoke perfect Common, which is the- well, most common language that is spoken amongst many different races.

  After that it was pretty easy to get in, although the guards did make a point to tell the newcomers not to cause any trouble… They may have been looking at the fire lady when saying so, perhaps being familiar with her, but I can only imagine that Aska got a sinking feeling in his gut at that point, given how he is finding his travelling companions out to act.

  But yes, the party was now in town, and what a splendid town it is looking to be; contrary to what they might have expected from seeing the other town, this one had open shops lining the streets and people were bustling around aplenty. Some asking for directions later and the party were finally able to find the place where they were supposed to deliver their cargo. Actually it probably wouldn’t have been that hard, for the guy who we were supposed to deliver them to turned out to look exactly like the salamander guy in the other town, which prompted some jokes about these guys being the “nurse joy” of DnD and that if we were to find a family portrait there would probably be like two dozen identical guys on it.

  There was a difference though, which became clear as this guy opened his mouth to speak with much more cheer than his brother, this was explained with that business were going much more better here and that this salamander thought his brother a fool for setting up shop in a veritable ghost town, although he also believed that his bro might cheer up a bit if things were to change over there.

  I guess that’ll be up to us eventually.

  Anyhow, this guy offered the party lodgings and didn’t particularly seem to mind the damage that the wagon had taken during our trip (then again it was his brother’s wagon so…) The party was of course relieved to hear this, though as the sun was still high up in the sky, most of them deemed it still a bit early to go to sleep.

  The beds hadn’t looked super inviting anyway, granted they weren’t exactly stone hard, but appeared to be made out of some sort of rock that felt like relatively hard memory foam; which prompted me to ask if they were made from “bedrock”. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and Kees kinda wanted to take a nap whilst the others milled about for a while, and that might just have been the luckiest decision ever… but we’ll get to that shortly.

  At this point, the party split up for most part, I’m not entirely sure where Tivonah wandered off to, Dweggy however went to the local potion shop to buy some medicines, Therrin went to the butcher to sell off some of the worm meat that he had collected and received 80 gold for his efforts. Meanwhile Aska was on the lookout for places that might hold well learned people who could aid him with the translation of a torn our page that he’d found in the spellbook that he had acquired in some previous session. Turns out he was pretty lucky, because he did find a library (granted, it might’ve been kinda hard to miss all those books given that the walls were made from glass) and a very helpful earth elemental lady who might just have creeped my dear sorcerer out a little bit (which I attribute to the curse of having a high charisma score), in any case, he managed to get the page partially translated, enough so to spark interest, but not enough to get a clear meaning of it; for that, he will have to find others who might help by translating the parts that weren’t in Ignan or Terran (Nick also advised against the usage of the “comprehend languages” spell, partially by asking if I expected him to be thwarted by a lv1 spell and also by seeming far to amused by the prospect, it’s almost enough to make me want to try just to see how badly things would go).

  While this was going on, Kro- I mean Wolo, had asked the salamander guy if there was by any chance a bathhouse or anything of the likes around, to which the salamander pointed him towards the lower floor (no glass walls, just underground) where it turned out that a hot spring was kept. I’ll have to send Aska there later, after we have dealt with the matters currently at hand…

  Which brings me to what Nektari was doing, our dear Necromancer was on the search for some sort of black/dark crystal for purposes that I’m still questioning and will in all likelihood continue to question well after I have learned of them. With some luck he was able to find a jeweller who had one in stock, and a bit less luck to find that there was a language barrier keeping him from easily conversing with the shopkeeper. However, after some difficulties, our necromancer was horrified to find that the crystal that he needed would cost him a whooping ten thousand gold! I don’t think we would have that even if we were to pool our resources together as a party.

  So what does Nektari do? Give up? Figure out a way to earn the money through presumably hard labour? Well no, he just opted for heading back to the salamander’s shop to talk to our more than slightly kleptomaniac rogue. However, what he found was not entirely what he had expected, or ever wanted to find in one’s bedroom…

  See, during the party’s outings, Kees had started to wake up, though by now she was feeling a little off. Still, this wasn’t going to deter the Halfling, so she just went on to… sort of flop out of bed, only to become aware of some more unsettling changes, which presentation went about like this:

  DM: “So you plop off the bed and notice that the floor seems closer now, and that your angle of sight is different, not to mention that the world seems oddly lacking in color. Also you feel very hungry”

Players: “Wait wha-“

DM: “Your tail however, is still on the bed.”

Players: (pretty much in unison) “WHAT?!” “OH MY GOD” “RIKURU WHAT DID YOU DO?!” “HOLY SHIT“

  So uh, when Nektari finally found his way back, he found that our dear Kees had gone through some of those changes that sometimes just happens…

  If you let yourself get bitten by a were-crocodile.

  Which she apparently also was now.

  Yeah.

  Kees might have to offer prayers to her deity for the fact that she had picked up that curse ring in a prior session, for it was only thanks to the fact that she was still glowing that Nektari picked up on the fact that this wasn’t some random giant reptile that had snuck into their bedroom and eaten his little friend, but actually his friend turned into a shiny crocodile; which honestly I’m not sure if it is all that much better.

  Kees however didn’t seem to pay this much mind, nope, she was too busy passing will checks to not get overwhelmed by hunger and newfound instincts and subsequently take a bite out of that tasty looking wizard that was blocking her way to freedom, though eventually she did snap at him, which prompted the necromancer to take action.

  Because otherwise he’d probably have been eaten, which is generally considered to be an unpleasant experience.

  Anyhow, confident in his animal wrangling skills after their run-in with the worms, Nektari took his chance after Kees had narrowly missed taking one of his hands off and managed to tie her jaws shut with some rope or string or something… I’m not entirely sure. However, it turned out that crocodiles are a bit harder to wrangle than giant sandworms, so Kees managed to shake him off and make her escape to the lower floors, having by now caught the pleasant scent of water; the fact that she stomped all over her wizard buddy in order to get there didn’t seem to face her in the least.

  And it’s only seconds after this that Aska walked back in through the door, too late to see crocoKees, but just in time to see Nektari’s somewhat crumpled form lying facedown in the stairs, with his clothes covered in the footprints of some animal that he didn’t quite recognize. Of course, given his previous experiences with the party’s hijinx, this was plenty enough to make the avian sorcerer stop short and ask what had happened, all while inwardly cursing the fact that he apparently cannot leave the others alone for five minutes without something going wrong.

  Having Nektari tell him that Kees was now a crocodile didn’t exactly help this feeling.

  One minor outburst of incredulousness later any sort of explanation that Nektari might have had to offer was cut short by the sounds of commotion coming from downstairs, because…

  Wolo had been down there all this time, still relaxing in the hotspring, when he had suddenly been faced with the fact that an at least 1000 pound reptile was making a beeline for the very spring that he was located in. Not that he was located in it for long after this discovery, no he got up pretty fucking quickly, just in time to wrestle the crocoKees who managed to snap her restraints and once more open her jaws wide for a possible meal. With barely enough time to spare to don his pants, Wolo was soon locked in fierce hand to hand combat with the crocodile that unbeknownst to him was his little friend.

  He actually won.

  Well, sorta, he was able to restrain crocoKees long enough to haul her back up the stairs and ask Nektari where to put her (Aska had by that point left the building and was headed for the local cathedral to find help for Kees’s affliction as quickly as his wings could carry him.) In the end, they didn’t have any sort of cage for a crocodile and rather hoped not to attract the attention of the townspeople or the guards, presumably not wanting to get caught at animal smuggling, so they just kinda dumped her in one of the bedrooms that they had been allotted, with Nektari’s little skeleton wolf puppy to keep guard at the doorless entryway; turns out crocoKees was deeply unnerved by this creature.

  And that’s pretty much where we left off.

  With a frikkin glowing crocodile that we are trying to keep hidden in a room with walls made out of glass.

  I see no way this can go wrong.

  -------------------------------------------------------------

  EXTRA MATERIAL

  Some haikus, courtesy of Marina AKA the god of haikus

    My scrambled feelings

aren’t going over easy

your poor plans are fried

  Drop it like it’s hot

deadly hair stands set aflame

boiled egg delights

  A rogue hypocrite

egging on devilish thieves

whos the bad guy here?

  Forbidden terrain

making awful decisions 

stepping on eggshells

  Gotta flank it hard

gonna punch it really far

flank it to bank it

  Big sneaky mountain

oh my god what it has legs?

gotta go real fast

  Hot crocodile claws

touching against my wet skin

oh god, what the fuck?

  And a beautiful copy/paste edit thanks to Swizz: http://i.imgur.com/MaDHVY2.png

[sagiso]

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: This is our wizard, there is none other like him and he is ours

Okay, this time you’ll be getting a summary early, because holy shit I can’t risk forgetting how last night went.

  Cast for the session:

  Wolo: Male human fighter

Kees: Female halfling rogue

Tivonah: Female human ranger

Nektari: Male fox hengeyokai necromancer (wizard)

Aska: Male pygmy falcon hengeyokai sorcerer

Therrin: Male dwarf barbarian

  ONWARDS!

  -----------------------------------------------------

  So it turned out after all that we were indeed proceeding when we had last left off, because Therrin had managed to salvage enough worm plates from the fallen Thoqquas to create some sort of sled/wheel replacement to make up for the lost wheel. Anyhow the party continued going throughout the night, which made for a slightly uncomfortable but acceptable night’s rest, enough so that we got to recover some hp and spells.

  Well, the sun rises and everything looks pretty chill… well, as chill as you can get in a desert but you get the point. However, as time passes the party eventually spots some odd little whirlpools in the sand, and our more perceptive members managed to make out that there was some sort of odd little creatures in them, creatures with pretty big mouths. These whirlpools of sand were clustered together sort of, and the party wasn’t really feeling all too confident in their ability to safely navigate through this cluster, especially given that their wagon wasn’t in top condition as it were, so they decided to give it a wide berth and just go around them altogether instead.

  This worked out pretty good… until one of the little sandwhirls disappeared from the group, but didn’t stay anonymous for long because suddenly there was movement in the sand heading for the party, and I believe only Therrin and Kees saw this.

  Not that they chose to warn us before the damn monster decided to spring up and tackle the wagon from below… And by then pretty much everyone had figured out that there was some kind of unfriendly shit around. Oh well, at least they were able to confirm this.

  Actually, that unfriendly shit deserves some special mentioning here because as it dolphined its way through the sand we were able to get a good look at it, and according to our DM, this was what we saw: http://filesmelt.com/dl/wormy.png

  That picture sent a collective stream of “Oh fuck!” statements from those of us who recognized the critter. You see, that’s not a being that belongs in the D&D universe, but rather is a monster from “Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker” and apparently someone has homebrewed up stats for it. Doesn’t look too bad though, does it? No, and honestly it’s not very strong in the game it is from either, but our worries stemmed from the fact that those are the spawn/minions of fucking MOLGERA, which is a pretty damn big boss in its native game and that possesses an awesome battle theme. Really, go look up a video with it on youtube now and you’ll realize its coolness/size, then also realize that we are now fully expecting to have to battle that fucker before we reach the capitol. Honest to god I’m not sure if we’re anticipating it with dread or hope for the sheer epic.

  But I’m getting sidetracked, at the time we only had to deal with that single minion, which by now the party can see is still some distance off but doubling back on them for some collateral damage and maybe a meal. Now, since we have a couple of close range fighters in our group, it was decided that the best course of action would be to stop the wagon and face the disturbance head on, getting some time in to ready their weapons before the opponent arrived.

  Roll for initiative!

  It wasn’t all too spectacular to be honest, what with the enemy being so outnumbered, some hacking and slashing and grappling was attempted and nothing much noteworthy happened until Kees stabbed the worm with her dagger/shortsword, which with a spray revealed that the creature had highly acidic blood… or whatever liquid it contained, extended exposure to skin not recommended in any case. Nektari got some damage in with his crossbow and Aska, who by now had noticed the acrid nature of their foe, went on to attack from a safe distance with magic missile, with decent enough results.

  ... And then Therrin saunters up to the worm and does what Therrin does best and chops down on the damn worm with his axe, effectively splitting it into two halves, which turned out to be significantly less effective than one might think. See, the hind part of the worm decided to up the whole wriggling ante with its death throes, combine this with the fact that it is now effectively spewing acid like a fountain and you’ve got a recipe for trouble or at least some serious pain. Meanwhile the front part just decides to nope, not this time, bitches, and burrow back into the sand where we cannot effectively reach it.

  Of course, being close to the sundered worm, Therrin and Wolo take some acid damage, all while Kees aces her reflex save, does a matrix dodge in between the droplets and somersaults through the air, beautifully avoiding the acid while managing a 10.0 landing on Therrin’s face.

  Turns out this didn’t take her completely out of harm’s way though, which became apparent as the party started to get ready for departure once again. See, the front half of the worm might’ve disappeared from sight and was thus out of our minds at that moment, but that didn’t mean that it was gone, oh no, and this really came back to bite Kees in the ass.

  Literally.

  The worm suddenly exploded out of the sand, startling the whole party and Kees in particular as it buried its teeth firmly in her butt. This became extra hilarious as our DM told us that yes he’d meant for it to come back, but he hadn’t meant for it to get a critical hit in. Some sounds of rolling dice later and he announced that the worm had bitten Kees for ten glorious butt damage; and to further put this into context, Kees’s max hp is thirteen.

  I’m just gonna go out on an arm here and say that the worm, satisfied with this deed, was able to pass on peacefully, because I cannot for the life of me remember if we had to kill the thing. I do however remember that Kees announced that she’d twerk it loose, much to the amusement of us players.

  Of course, even with the humor of the whole situation, we still faced the issue of Kees being reduced to 3 hp, and as it turned out, the worm had in its dying throes let out a shriek that was heard by the little whirlpools that we had previously passed, because now we could in the distance see six more of these worms dolphining their way across the sand towards us. Not exactly the best arrangement possible.

  It was at this point, however, that I remembered that I’d decided to buy that healing belt back in town in a previous session, and it got to see its first use now as Aska quite literally got to save Kees’s ass. Some good rolls later, Kees was back to full hp and her radiant behind restored to its previous beauty (she’s still glowing, so I’m going to be describing her as radiant every chance I get). But yeah, there were more of those ass-sundering creatures approaching so everyone packed into the wagon and ordered the horse to go full speed ahead… except Aska I suppose, he opted for flying, since he’d seen what those worms were capable of.

  However, despite the best efforts of both party and mechanical horse, those worms were catching up, though not quickly enough for us to be able to effectively reach them right away. Not that this stopped Kees from wrecking revenge on the accursed creatures. Driven by rage and a need for revenge, the halfling let another of her daggers fly through the air and towards one of the worms, where it was promptly embedded in its head. The worm appeared pained and was somewhat slowed by this attack, but continued onwards, now a little behind its fellow worm-mates.

  After this, the turn went to Nektari, and this is where shit gets both surreal and ridiculously awesome.

  Now, Nektari is a wizard, so he is pretty squishy, doesn’t have all that many skill points and a strength modifier of -1. However, he does have spells at his disposal and a reliable crossbow, so you’d expect him to hang back and blast away at the enemy from a safe distance, right?

  Fuck no!

  The party could only watch in abject confusion mixed with horror as Nektari got up to the wagon’s railing and fucking leapt right off the speeding vehicle and towards the six pursuing enemies like a badass, subsequently acing his tumble check to safely land in the sand, make a somersault due to the speed adjustment and came up straight just in time to bitchslap one of the worms with a chill touch spell.

  Cheers erupted from players and presumably party alike, but Nektari wasn’t finished by a long shot. See, the enemies didn’t really care for the lone wizard who was now standing there all alone and relatively vulnerable, or they figured they could double back later since he wouldn’t have much chance to outrun them. Anyhow, the worms speed past the lone necromancer, chasing after the wagon and leaving him in the dust. This was of course a bit of a problem because Nektari couldn’t really catch up with wagon nor worms with his current land speed, so what does our dear wizard do?

  Why, he turns towards the sound of shifting sand behind him, only to see a straggler worm with a dagger half buried in its head quickly approaching. Without hesitating for even a second, Nektari leaps at the worm just as it comes up alongside him, completely disregards his horrible strength score as the dice gods smile in approval at his actions and the proceeds to ace all the checks needed to successfully tackle the worm, wrangle it into submission and then force it under his control as the two speeds across the desert towards the wagon, somehow glistening in the rising morning sun despite the wizard’s complete lack of armor, because he just doesn’t give a fuck; all while skype buckles under the weight of the cheers coming from the players.

  Meanwhile, the party had been forced to deal with the rest of the worms, which had by now started to catch up with the group. Aska attempts a magic missile which didn’t do nearly enough damage to be satisfying, Kees had been throwing daggers aplenty towards the rest of the worms, Therrin had for the first time I believe turned to using his bow and Wolo had uh… well, on the first turn he rolled a natural 1 while attempting to slash at a worm that was well out of reach with his scythe, resulting in him not only missing but also dropping his weapon, much to his dismay. His bad luck continued for several rounds as he continued to miss and probably inflicted more damage to the wagon than to the worms. Tivonah’s player had by now caught up to us and was attempting to support her teammates with some swordly damage, although the worms proved a bit too evasive for this.

  Nonetheless, the party did manage to eventually dwindle the number down, with Aska abandoning both caution and magic to charge one of the worms from the air with his spear. Now, this could have gone pretty badly, but in a beautiful fit of irony and befitting vengeance, he did impale and pin one of the worms to the sand through the back end of its body. Obviously the worms should not have messed with Kees’s butt, it would’ve saved them quite some pain if they had refrained from doing so.

  Anyhow, Aska continues to pin the damn thing down, incurring gradual damage on it because these things are ridiculously resilient. At this point there are two worms left to the general knowledge of the party, the one that Aska’s pinning and one speeding alongside the cart, when the DM asks for spot checks.

  Pretty much all succeed, except for Aska who I assume had his hands full narrowly passing strength checks.

  So what does the party see after having made this spot check?

  Why, there by the horizon they see Nektari surfing towards them, perched upon a sandworm with a dagger embedded in its skull. As he approaches, he flawlessly bends down and picks up the scythe that Wolo had previously dropped and holds it aloft high above his head where it catches on to the rays of the rising sun. Not once does his balance falter and although he never looks back to see it, the sheer epic that he radiates prompts an explosion somewhere back in the far distance, which only serves to frame his dark form even better as he, in the words of our DM “comes riding towards the party like one of the four horsemen of the wormpocalypse”. And it is fucking beautiful

  Now, Aska was the only one who’d failed the spot check, but it didn’t matter. Somehow he knew what was going on in his surroundings, perhaps in his heart he did so as the finishing blow was dealt to the worm that he’d pinned, for as Nektari came racing by, the two magicians reached out and gave each other a highfive, presumable without even needing to look at one another.

  And as he finally catches up to the wagon, Nektari leans down, digs his hands into the scales of his makeshift mount and urges it to jump. It does so and both worm and necromancer lands flawlessly on the wagon, Nektari not even flinching from the impact as he steps forward to greet his friends with an air to him so casual that one might believe that he does this every day; which honestly it wouldn’t surprise me at this point if he does.

  "Greetings my dear friends"

  That he failed his balance check when the worm started thrashing around after that doesn’t even matter. His heroics had already been chronicled in granite in our minds and tales shall be told, songs shall be sung and books shall be written about the day that Nektari the wizard bested the desert.

  The session however, wasn’t quite over, and there was still the issue of the one remaining worm beside the wagon and the one now wriggling around on top of it. It wasn’t too difficult to do so though now that the party was almost reunited, and when Aska caught up, he put an end to it by putting his spear through the one on the cart, at that point the only one remaining.

  And that is how we beat the spawn of Molgera.

  It was relatively smooth sailing after that, no more encounters blocked our way, though another obstacle did arise around mid-day in the form of increased winds which, given our surroundings, soon turned into a fullblown (pun intended) sandstorm. Via some stupid twist of fate, this was the first time that Aska actually rolled well on a spot check, so he alongside with Kees and… I think one more? Oh well, managed to spot a sort of opening in a mountainside some distance away and informed the party of this, at which point they all decided to seek this location out for shelter against the elements.

  The party arrived safely at the cave and decided to stick around until the sandstorm subsided, because as dysfunctional as our parties tend to be, there is a limit to the stupid things they will do, and trying to cross a desert in a sandstorm is not one of them.

  Anyhow, Nektari, being on the hunt for crystals of some sort, decided to spend his downtime digging around a bit, and soon found some sort of opening in the back of the relatively shallow cave. After Therrin had widened it up a bit, the party decided that it was unlikely that anyone would try to steal their goods in the middle of an ongoing sandstorm, and thus opted to venture deeper in, with Kees going first as their makeshift torch.

  Cue the typical cartoon cave slide.

  After having dropped I’m not sure how far, the party found themselves in what seemed to be a much bigger room than they had previously been in and as they stepped forward to take a look around, there came a crunching sound from beneath their feet. Now, of course anyone could figure out what would come next. The party would look down and find themselves standing on top of human bones or something of the sort.

  Turns out, it wasn’t bones.

  Turns out it was the only thing worse than bones to find yourself standing around in.

  Turns out we were surrounded by eggs.

  And it also turns out that our DM is a sadist because that’s where he chose to end the session.

  So next time on MMPR, just how fucked are we?!

  -------------------------------------------------

  BONUS CONTENT:

  http://i.imgur.com/ZqNP9kD.png - Marina illustrates how not finishing our enemy off properly came back to bite Kees in the ass. Literally.

  Also, for the fate point this session we were supposed to either 1. make seuss rhymes, which honestly I have no fucking clue what that is. Or 2. Write haikus about the in-game events.

  Turns out Marina is the god of haikus, she got the fate point both from haiku writing and because Nektari was such a badass, but anyhow here are her contributions:

  “deadly earth creature

slithering towards us hissing

goddamn this wagon

  summoning the dead

arise the lord of darkness

horrible mistakes

  little halfling girl

summersaults through violent blasts

dwarven face pillow

  it's teeth barred, goal set

unknown danger to round cheeks

delicious butt chomps

  don't you understand

i just wanted to say hi

booty bite sadness

  booty worm descends

teeth in her buns, twerked it out

birdie friend saves behind

  unleashing the kees

a new hot halfling singer babe

oh hot damn she good

  his blade grazes air

the young swordsmen huffs angrily

his god rolled a one

  "i'll take charge one day"

the swordsman whispers, fists clinched

keesma just cackles

  special delivery!

a giant worm flops on deck

"greetings my dear friends"

  opening up ahead

proceeding down the tunnel

scrambbled eggs tonight”

  And one bonus bonus haiku:

  "radiant behind

beckoning slimy creatures

certain doom impending"

[sagiso]

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: Of shady shadow people and Mario impersonations

Okay, this is late as all hell, especially given that the next session is scheduled for… idk, six or so hours at the point of me writing this, it will probably be less before the summary is done and posted; but I don’t really wanna have to bunch two session summaries into a single post so here we go.

  Cast for the session:

Nektari: Male fox hengeyokai – Necromancer (wizard).

Kees Amonit: Female Halfling – Rogue

Tivonah: Female human - Ranger

Aska Saffir: Male pygmy falcon hengeyokai – Sorcerer (this is my guy)

Therrin: Male dwarf – Barbarian

  When we last left off, the party had recently ollie outtie’d from the gatormen lair and through a stargate into the great (and dusty) unknown, with no idea of where they were or where they could find this out, as well as a ship somehow appearing to be heading towards them over the sandy distance, the group decided to set camp and rest for a bit; recovering some spells and HP before the ship would be close enough for easy investigation.

  Their downtime went about relatively easy, though Therrin may or may not have lost one of the swords he picked up in the gatormen stronghold because Aska botched a spot check during his watch, but whatever, he’s got more.

Eventually, the party woke up, feeling a little better for wear. However, as it turns out, the ship had changed its course sometime during their rest, and wasn’t directly headed for them anymore, so if the party wanted to investigate it, they’d have to move quickly.

Well, two of us did, at least. Aska decided that it was time to stretch his wings and thus transformed into his human/pygmy falcon hybrid form, since his carry capacity allowed it, he also asked Kees if she wanted to come along and check the ship out, to which she responded positively. And thus those two were off, trying to catch up with the ship.

Meanwhile, Therrin and Nektari were finding means of passing the time by hunting for some food… which wasn’t by any means plentiful. There were however some rocks moving around, and wouldn’t you know it, upon further investigation it turns out that those rocks possessed legs, which is somewhat unusual for rocks but apparently par for the course for rock-crabs; yeah I have no idea, think Crustle or something I suppose.

  Somehow this failed to deter Therrin, but then again he’s the same dwarf who wanted to get a sewer-gator steak so maybe it’s not all that surprising, and he happily went about pretty much tearing that thing open and out, denting his axe in the process. The exact description of the rock crab eludes me but I think the general idea was some kind of transparent glob that I will never force Aska to eat, ever. Therrin, however, just decided to make up a fire via means of some broken arrow shafts and ate one of those darn things after he deemed it sufficiently barbecued, yes, one of them, as in they caught a couple. Hopefully it won’t come to the point that the rest of the party has to consume them…

  Anyway, meanwhile, Aska and Kees were making good progress catching up to the ship, and eventually landed on the deck only to find a crew of some sort of rock people… as in beings made up of rock and gravel and sand… yeah I dunno either. Now, the problem wasn’t so much their appearance as the fact that it turned out that they did not speak any of our languages; it seems common isn’t as common as the name indicates. Didn’t stop Kees from trying to respond to their garbled roars though, and she must’ve managed to say something because whatever it was the one she’d addressed responded and we got some attention from the others, which honestly might be a good or bad thing, I need to remember to ask about that later.

  However, by extension it turned out that this also got the attention of the captain, who thankfully did speak common though he expressed some surprise because it seems that they don’t get visitors of our kind all that much on that plane of existence, which just further raises the question of WHERE THE HELL ARE WE? But anyway, the captain (a slightly larger version of the others and wearing a sand cape of some sort) turned out to be a pretty nice guy. As we explained our situation to him, he offered to allow us to come along on the ship towards their destination town, however, he couldn’t turn the ship around to pick up the others, which was something of a problem because the ship, while albeit not the fastest thing, was going at a greater rate than we could run.

  Taking note of our apparent dilemma, the captain was kind enough to order two of his crewmembers to help us out, and they quickly dove right overboard and into the sand, racing back towards the camp like some sort of land sharks, while Kees and Aska took to the skies once more. The stone guys got back to the camp first, but thankfully by then Aska and Kees were at least close enough to shout to their friends that they should not attack the rock guys, because they were on our side.

  The rest of the party complied, and without further ado, the stone guys pretty much wrapped themselves around the ground-bound party members and their belongings and dove back into the sand to head back to the ship like some sort of odd stone submarines. Since they were now carrying loads, Aska and Kees beat them back this time, but it didn’t take long before the party was reunited onboard of the merchant ship.

  Now, although we had been offered to come along, the captain wasn’t exactly going to go full out charity on us, so we had to work to pay our dues. This meant, for Therrin, that he carry and stack a bunch of crates since he appeared to be the only one strong enough for that (Lloyd AKA Wolo had been unable to join that day), meanwhile the rest of us were tasked wih sweeping the deck free of dust… which was complicated by the air being pretty dusty and the fact that the crew were basically stone/gravel elementals who did their fair share of shedding. The fact that Kees just swept her share of the dust onto the rest of our patches of the deck did not help AT ALL. >:c

  But yeah, that’s pretty much how we spent the day, and by the end of it the captain took one look at Therrin’s job of crate stacking and informed him that he had done it all wrong and that it needed to be re-done. As it turns out, Therrin is probably the most level-headed and polite barbarian that I’ve ever seen (then again I’ve never seen anyone else play one) because he just sighed and went to re-do his work, at which point the captain just laughed and informed the weary dwarf that he’d been joking. Therrin was pretty cool with this and just inquired about what was in the boxes, to which he was informed that it was some sort of food that the rock guys liked to eat. Unfortunately the cargo was supposed to get there in one piece but he figured he’d offer the dwarf a try of some foodstuffs that he’d stacked away in the captain quarters, which he offered to share with Therrin. Our dwarf companion obliged and was led to the room in question, where he was offered some sort of mud/stone… snack thing? I don’t even know. Therrin didn’t really know what to make of this either, because it was clearly not food meant for our kind of being, but he ate it nonetheless to be polite, again I’m not sure, but in all likelihood this amused the captain.

  Therrin then inquired a bit about the language that the crew spoke, and was offered a sort of phrasebook for… whatever language it was, I have no idea, but he took it outside to read a bit in any case.

  The rest of the group had also been discharged from duty for the night, and the sunlight was dying down I believe. Aska, by now probably more than a little interested in finding something to eat, took a seat by the railing to look out over the landscape for anything that looked hunt-worthy, with little success. Kees on the other hand, decided to explore the ship out of curiosity and not at all the intention to steal anything… no, not at all.

That was sarcasm by the way, goshdarned stickyfingered little rogue… In any case, the little hellion ventured down into the hold when no one was looking, finding little of interest except for a locked door which she would have investigated if not for the approaching footsteps. Turns out Nektari had decided to explore a bit himself. However, our wizardly fox friend failed his spot check against Kees great hide skills and thus didn’t see anything of interest, so he soon departed, leaving the Halfling alone with a locked door and her excellent lockpicking ability. You don’t need to be a genius to guess what followed.

  The lock was soon made short work of, and Kees slipped inside, finding herself face to lock with three promising chests.

  Unfortunately (fortunately?), the first chest proved too difficult for her to open, in the second one she found a bunch of fist-sized honey-colored gems though in her defense she only took one of them… and in the last chest she found a ring that obviously is magic in some way because it required a will save (which evoked comments about it being the one ring), we have no real idea what it is exactly yet but it has some sort of label in rock man speak… which we don’t understand, goodie.

  But yeah, after that she closed the chests again and re-picked the door lock and snuck out without anyone noticing, and then proceeded to curl up under the stairs for some sleep.

  At this point everyone was pretty much doing their own thing, Kees was asleep, Aska was playing lookout, Therrin was reading and idk what Nektari and Tivonah were doing, actually Tivonah’s player was kinda in and out during the session so the reports on her actions won’t be all that in-depth. In any case, the night wasn’t all that quiet, as Aska soon noticed, for in the distance a large sand whirlpool had started to form. Alarmed by this, he immediately rushed to notify the captain of the threat and was thusly informed that this huge worm-thing that was now rising out of the pit had been accosting ships for some time, and that the crew were going to deal with it. Suddenly Aska found himself taking the wheel as the captain and his crew dove overboard and raced towards the creature. The hengeyokai called out to his companions, alerting them to the danger and then had to pass a strength check to keep the ship from going into the maelstrom. Thankfully the dice were kind and it wasn’t all that long before the captain and his men returned, largely intact.

  The calm returned to the ship and Aska was relieved of his steering duty, so he took to the crow’s nest to get some sleep, thinking that it would provide an appropriate resting spot for a bird hybrid. Well, it did… but it also kept him from noticing the smaller ship that turned up a bit later into the night. Some most of the party were awake though, and readied themselves for combat as the smaller ship sped up alongside the merchant ship.

  Roll for initiative!

  Two of the attackers started to climb aboard pretty much immediately, despite one of them taking a staff to the face. Exactly how this first part of the battle went down is a bit blurry because I’m writing it a week after it happened, but I do know that Aska sent down a magic missile onto the one accosting Kees and Nektari, and that in turn exploded into a mass of soot, and Therrin was handling his own business pretty well. When the two of the unwelcome guests were taken care of, Thrrin glanced overboard, saw one more of these soot bandits climbing up and another still on the smaller vessel below us. So what does the dwarf do? Why he jumps overboard onto the smaller vessel, effectively goomba stomping the poor soot bandit that was there. The second bandit however, managed to climb up on the deck of the merchant ship just in time for Aska to look down from his position in the crow’s nest and think “You know what, I’m pretty much a giant bird of prey and that guy is very close to the edge… I can totally do this.”. So the sorcerer jumped up on the railing of the crow’s nest, spread his wings and swept down at the poor bastard. Now, he couldn’t actually carry the soot bandit, but the momentum and his strength was enough for him to use his talons to pull the soot bandit overboard before letting go and allowing the enemy to fall back from whence he came… or the bandit would have, but Therrin’s thick head and helmet was in the way, so the poor guy exploded in another cloud of soot upon impact with the dwarf.

  Seeing as the smaller vessel was pretty devoid of threats at this point, the rest of the party jumped down to the smaller boat to check it out. From what I gathered there was only one big room below deck, with some crates and a chest and plenty of black darkness. In any case, the group wasn’t deterred and went about to check out the loot… only for the darkness to start moving towards the doorway. Turns out that the odd blackness was actually soot, which soon began swirling around and forming into a bigger version of the critters that we had previously fought. Now, we did get some rounds to fight before it formed wholly, but once it did, shit was about to go down.

  Kees took the opportunity to tumble between the soot elemental’s legs so that she could continuously sneak attack it and stab it in the back while it was focused on the rest of us. As it turned out, this was one of those rare instances where we actually found out the guy’s exact armor class, as Aska got an 18 on an attack roll and got a good stab in with his spear, whereas the 17 that either Nektari or Therrin rolled didn’t quite manage to hit. At some point Therrin even managed to ignite the damn thing via a spark from his axe, so Aska had to cool it off by using ray of frost, which is a pitifully weak spell.

  All in all, the battle proceeded fairly well, Therrin took a fair bit of damage but since Barbarians have pretty good HP, he was still standing by the time the monster exploded in soot… effectively covering pretty much all of us in the stuff.

  Good thing we got some treasure from it. Therrin found some scrolls that I’m not sure was on them, Kees managed to dig some gems out of that treasure chest and Aska found a shield (which he can’t use) and two wands, one of which held 47 charges of shatter and the other is still unknown because I looked at the spells known list instead of daily spells and thus thought that I had significantly less uses of “Identify” available than I actually had… good job self.

Anyhow, Aska kept the unidentified wand, gave the shatter one to Nektari and I’m not sure what we’ll do with that shield. Either Wolo gets it or we sell it, either works.

  So with that done, the sun was rising both in game and outside of it (at least in my timezone) so the session ended then and there. With any luck we should be reaching that town tonight… I’m pretty sure that our characters could use a warm meal and a bath after all that they’ve been though (especially given all the soot), so let’s hope there’s an inn available.

  Until next time!