Dear past me, dear future me, dear person that I love, dear person that I hate
It’s okay. It gets so much better if you just hold on. Keep breathing and just cling to everything you’ve got. Things will get rough and it won’t be a smooth ride and your head won’t be your own from now. It really does get better though.
You might be scared of the wolf but he can change, believe me.
Life will become worth living.
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Things don’t change much do they? I don’t want anything to change from how they are now. I’m happy right now. How’s Kyuhyun? Is he doing well? Is he happy? Is Rhys doing okay?
I have nothing to say because the future self that I have written to before is me in the here and now. I always asked if things would improve and they have. I always asked if I could be happy and I am. I always asked if there could be someone who loves me and there is.
I hope things stay this way.
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Kyuhyun, I never actually believed there could be someone like you in this world. Someone who understood and even loves me. You saw the wolf and you even came to love him too. You even wanted to become like me to be closer to me.
I could possibly write an entire book about my thoughts and feelings for you. I can sum it up easily though…
I love you more than I ever thought it possible for me to love.
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I’m not sure where you are now. Are you well? Perhaps you’re happy and have a family. I hope not. I still hate you. I always will. If I ever see you I’ll be sure to rip your backbone out, I want to know if you even have one. If not I might just settle for snapping that miserable neck of yours but not before I’ve made you scream with pain and fear. Even when you’re dead and cold I’ll still hate you. You cursed me. You bit me when I WAS FUCKING SIX YEARS OLD, what sick fuck does that?
I’m not going to hunt you down like I planned to do when I was younger. No. I remember your scent though. If I ever see you I will kill you slowly and painfully. I think it would be fun.