So I currently have food poisoning and I can’t help but it think how mad Carmy would be if a restaurant gave his gf/wife food poisoning
Also Carmy come take care of me and make me soup plz 🙇♀️😫
Plus he would give the best snuggles 😭
firstly, sending lots of love and recovery, i've never actually had fp lmao so a lot of time on webmd will be spent. get ur fluids in! secondly, carmen might have to go underground for setting the restaurant on fire. we love him for it
summary: You were hungry and had just finished work and you didn't think about inspecting the goddamn Michelin star restaurant, maybe you should have.
warnings; cursing, food poisoning, richie (he's a warning), hipsters, talks of future arsony, possessive carmen, cracked fic ngl,
divider by @firefly-graphics
i'm slipping back into the unsafe territory of wanting fictional characters. (and i don't care)
You could roll your eyes in annoyance if you weren't hunched over the ceramic bowl of the toilet heaving out the contents of your stomach while Carmen held you hair back.
The one time, the one goddamn time you decide to try a new place without Carmen's input, without his meticulous standards and in depth research behind every night out.
It wasn't like you hadn't tried to vet the new braised beef spot that opened up on west Avenue. In fact, you had heard all but stellar reviews from friends and family, meeting you with suprise hearing that Carmen hadn't taken you. You decided to bring home a small plate, their signature braised meat with plums, red onions and atrichocke hearts.
You had meant to share it with Carmen, and you were going to, but a botched catering order had him staying back another hour than what had been planned. And well..you say you tried to save some for Carmen, but despite its bacteria laced beef and vomit inducing sides it was pretty fuckin' good.
Was this God's wrath coming down upon you? Punishing you for your gluttony? Food poisoning did feel awfully close to perpetual hellfire.
The TV was blaring some indescriptive show, the kind with dramatic introductions and soap opera worthy screams. It helped fill the space of absence when Carmen worked long nights, and you felt quite comfortable wrapped up in a blanket with a full stomach and a warm sofa.
Your phone had pinged with the sound of Carmen's text, letting you know he was on the way when it started. At first you had written it off as mere indigestion, probably from shoveling the cursed meal into your mouth too quickly.
Then, around the time the show's main character had found out her boyfriend got her mother pregnant, the nausea set in. Swirling aches that felt like a whirlpool in your stomach had taken over, sloshing and swirling and never leaving. You couldn't mistake it, as you tried to swallow past a dry throat and the creeping sweats of a headache inducing fever began to ravage your body.
You hated sitting in discomfort, it wasn't as though you were afraid of vomiting no, you just could not bare to feel the way your stomach skipped and jumped with every wave of nausea that took over.
You thought of making yourself sick, but shook your head when the alarming disapproval of Carmen's voice loomed over.
"It's just gonna make it worse, you gotta sit with it till it passes"
Fuck him and his medical knowledge. What did he know?
You had ripped off the blanket that had once felt comforting, peeling of layers of clothing that stuck to your body like a second skin. You just felt hot, so hot, is anyone else feeling this heat? You try to move from the couch to reach your phone, but the sudden movement has nausea bubbling up your throat.
You fall to the ground in a heap, hand clasped around your mouth to stop the possibility of projectile vomiting on the rug you had just bought and shoot your hand up to reach for your phone.
You press Carmen's number, begging him to answer you in genuine crisis rather than when you were drunk with friends and missed him. You feel the urge to heave and crawl quickly to the bathroom, phone clasped in hand and suddenly desperately needed his medical knowledge.
Carmen phone rings from the behind the stack of documents in the office, and he hastily wipes his hands across his apron before trying to reach it before it rings out.
Guilt fills his stomach at the thought of you, he was meant to be home hours ago. The catering order needed a few extra hands to help, and once Carmen began he got lost in it, and now you had spent nearly the entire night alone.
"Fuck- Hey baby, I know I said I was comin' but I had to finish a couple things-" Carmen quickly responds as he swipes the call button.
The groan of pain that responds has Carmen freezing in the middle of the kitchen.
"Baby? What-, are you okay?" Carmen replies quickly, his voice going short as his mind turns every possible scenario that had you whining in pain over the receiver.
"Please come quickly, Carmen I think I might-" You gulp and make a retching sound "I think I got sick from that place I was telling you about" You plead out, breathing heavily into the speaker.
The guilt that had filled Carmen seems to morph into an anger that rushes up his chest as he shakes his head.
"The new place? The one with the fuckin' smoke meat? They did this?"
"Mhm" You mumble "I should've just listened to you" You groan out in sadness.
"Fucking idiots. How the fuck did they even? Okay, okay honey just gimme a second yeah?"
How did he let this happen? Carmen has half the mind to stop at the restaurant that more of a Instagram attraction that a respected place of business. You were so eager and excited t try it, Carmen had his own thoughts but would glue his mouth shut if it meant making you happy.
He'll make sure they get shut down, or at least black listed from Chicago as long as he's concerned. His hands shake with the eager want for the fight, to smash someones jaw for resorting you to a heap of tears and sick. He would, he knows he will, but at this moment he needed to take care of your first.
He mumbles out a rushed reply, phone between his shoulder and ear as he slips out of his work shoes and into his sneakers. He thinks for a moment to grab his things but immediately shut that thought out when he hears you groaning into the phone.
"Just stay on the phone okay? I'm coming now, I need to get you some things alright?"
You let out what you hope is a reply, hunched over the toilet.
Carmen rushes to the store fridge, grabbing containers of soup Tina had prepared for family as the Chicago winter was getting close.
"You alright kid?" Richie mumbles, walking into the kitchen entry way, scratching his stomach as he watched Carmen's erratic movements around the store.
"Fuckin-, she's sick. And I'm here chopping up tomatoes for fucking Guy while she was in pain for god knows how long-"
"Woah, Bugs sick? We talking COVID or.."
"I'm such a fucking idiot. No it's not COVID Rich, Jesus Christ. Some rookie new spot trying something outside of their abilities gave her food poisoning. Fuckin' hipsters"
"Oh that's bad. You know when I got food poisoning the one time I took Tiff to this romantic getaway. Had me projectile vomiting in the AirBnb bathroom. Couldn't even get a deposit back, had to pay some dumb ass cleaning fee-"
Carmen wipes a hand across his face shaking his head. He was already pent up, he might throw a pan at Richie if he doesn't stop talking.
"Richie, I don't have time for this, I need to get her some Sprite or"
Richie shuffles across to the cupboard near the back of the house, grabbing bottles of Gatorade and a pack of saltine crackers.
"How do you even have this stuff lying around"
"You're the one with the inhuman alcohol tolerance Carmy, someone of us actually have hangovers you freak" Richie retorts
"Yeah yeah, thanks. Fuck- I gotta" Carmen replies, to which Richie nods.
"Go. I'll wrap up anything here" Richie replies, understanding in his voice. You took precedence over pretty much everything in Carmen's life.
"And Carm?"
"Yeah?" Carmen calls out, slipping on his jacket as he turns to Richie
"Tell me when we're going to sort out those bearded wearing flannel ass wipes"
Carmen shakes his head with a smile, before nodding and pushing past the kitchen doors. The traffic lights better be green green fuckin' green tonight.
You were stripped to a singlet and sleeping shorts as you knelt over the toilet, blinking back exhausted tears at the state of you.
You suppose you have no one else to blame but yourself, but the indignation righteousness burns almost as bright as the acid reflux crawling up your throat.
You hear the faint opening and loud clang of the apartment door opening and closing and you sigh in relief as you hear the familiar footfalls of Carmen down the hall.
It had felt damn near torturous suffering without him, and as he calls out to you following the trail of loose clothing he spots your figure in the bathroom sprawled.
"Oh honey, I'm sorry" Carmen says
And it was as if your body needed to finally feel safe in Carmen's presence before you felt the nausea spill out of you and splash offensively into the toilet.
You feel Carmen crouch above you, dragging your hair that had gone loose from it's wrapped up do away from your face. Gently rubbing your back, his large hands softly dipping up and down your spine.
"That's it, 'atta girl. Let it all out" Carmen coo's softly
You purged the insides of your stomach into the toilet bowl, retching loudly with every heave as Carmen comforted you. After what seemed like hours, and the nausea had subsided Carmen carefully wrapped his arms up under your armpits picking you up of the floor.
"Slowly, yeah? You damn near emptied out you're entire water content" Carmen murmurs, flushing the toilet and helping you walk to the basin and wash out the taste of bile from your mouth.
"I probably look insane" You cry out, blinking back exhaustion from your eyes as Carmen shakes his head furiously.
"Never, my pretty girl. Need you to go easy okay? Gonna take you to bed and let you sleep through it. Can't have you collapsing on me" Carmen murmurs, wiping at the edge of your mouth, patting the sweat that stuck to your forehead.
You let Carmen carefully maneuver your body, one arm under your legs and the other supporting your back walking to the bedroom. Your wring dry and can barely keep your eyes open as Carmen placed you on the cool sheets you immediately moan at.
You hear the faint rustle of movement as Carmen brings in a paper bag. The clunk of bottles placed on the bedside table as you sing praise for the very short bit of relief you have before the next bout of nausea rolls in.
Carmen pads to the adjacent bathroom, the door opened so you can see the stream of light that illuminates him. Hes running a cloth under water, squeezing the excess and looking up to check on you every so often.
He looked so...domestic, like he hadn't come back from working at one of the most decorated restaurants in Chicago. Stripped of his shirt so he stood bare chested, golden curls pushed behind his ears, sweatpants hung low on his hips and the furrow of his eyebrows in concentration and worry.
Your eyes flutter shut as you thank the midnight sky for bringing him to you, for keeping him for you, this one good thing that was yours.
The skies answer by the sound of his voice listing off all the things you will not be doing in this stage of recovery. Sitting on the edge of the bed as he places the cool rag against your forehead, lips between teeth as he feels your temperature under his skin.
"Just bone broth, Gatorade and bread sticks for you, doll. And no, before you even think it, its not the garlic ones." Carmen tsks.
You were thinking it. He knew you too well, but when he kisses your eyelids and measures out careful tips of the Gatorade bottle, you don't mind it.
summary; after luca, you and carmen face the fears you both held onto
warnings; arguing, mentions of violence, major warning for panic attacks, you essentially threaten to leave and Carmen nearly dies, carmen is kind of essentially saying he will never let you go, anxiety, insecurities, angst, fluff
a/n: I had a thought, of the reader ending up with luca instead but i really wanted to do right by the request and give carmen a happy ending!
Taking the stairs up your place, you considered walking back down and cycling up a few more times. You're in between the thoughts when your neighbour loudly gruffs in annoyance at you suddenly stops so you have no choice but to get to your door.
Shoving your keys into the door you're about to open the handle when it widens itself from the inside. Carmen's arm is wrapped around its edge as he takes up the entryway.
You're a bit taken back, wide eyes before cooling your expression.
“Where were you?” Carmen replies before you've even made it through the door, eyes zeroing in on your dress.
You let out a scoff, tossing your keys into the ceramic bowl a little too rough as you fling your heels into the hallway corner.
“Out.”
“That isn't an answer, I tried calling you earlier before-”
“Oh? I didn’t think you’d remember?”
“Remember what?”
“To call me. You seem to be forgetting a lot of things these days” You bite back, leaning against the halfway wall, fighting to roll your eyes at the way Carmen looked so puzzled.
“I apologised about before, I didn't think it was a big deal. We’ve tried tons of places together, one restaurant isn't the end of the world.”
“I never said it was Carmen, you’re the one interrogating me before i could even put my keys in the door”
“Because you haven't been answering my calls! You can’t even tell me where you went tonight” Carmen says, his hand gripping the sides of his jeans tightly.
“I told you I was out! God do you need to have a tracker strapped to my heel or what? I told you I don’t like the clingy types” You spit out, and you are too fueled by your anger to take it back when you see the flash of hurt on Carmens face
Carmen nods his head, an unreadable expression on his face as he leans against the entryway of the Kitchen. You don’t know what he's thinking as his eyes follow your every move, his jaw is locked into a tight line and the vein on his temple pulses. You’re filled with a sick sense of satisfaction, he is mad, as mad as you have been for weeks.
You move past him, dropping the plastic bags that had been close to ripping onto the countertop with a huff. Carmen doesn't move from where he stands, a looming shadow that fills up the silence between you both as you unpack the containers.
“You ended up trying a place tonight. That's good, see it isn't the end of the world” Carmen murmurs, his words coming out chopped and his voice tilted in annoyance.
You are halfway between putting the last of the containers into the fridge shelf before you stop, gripping the forge door as you take in Carmens words. And suddenly all the restraint you had to not blow up in his face evaporated from you as you slowly turned to face him.
“Oh I didn't go anywhere, well I mean it's this new restaurant that's going to open up soon and Luca invited me over” You mention in this offhand way, as you turn to put the last of the container in the fridge.
“What?” Carmen replies, his voice low as he turns to you
You’re crouched away from him as a smile creeps on your face, oh? Did he finally feel what you had been subjected to?
“Yeah? He said you knew him apparently.” You continue, noticing the way his hands grip the table counter tightly.
Carmen’s eyebrows furrow, unblinking as he opens his mouth and closes it slowly.
“Yeah I knew- know him. Why- what were you doing with him” Carmen replies, you see the way he scans your outfit again. Differently, when he realised who saw it first.
You turn to him slowly, shrugging your shoulders. “They were some menu items he wanted me to try.”
“Why didn't you tell me earlier?” Carmen replies carefully, his words forced out as if he was trying to control himself.
“I didn't think you’d mind me spending some time with an old friend”
“Yeah but that's Luca. You dressed up for him” Carmen replies softly
“And? You’re spending the day with Claire, and I’m spending the night with him. It all works out in the end” You reply, leaning back against the table counter as you clock your head to the side.
“Huh? He knows your my girlfriend, why would he try and make a move on you” Carmen bites, crossing his hands together in exasperation
“Oh I’m your girlfriend now?” You can't help but chuckle.
Carmen looks at you, confusion filling his face.
“What do you mean”
“Oh I just mean this whole angry possessive boyfriend thing is quite funny. You don’t have to pretend you actually care, Carmen".
“Hey, are you forgetting what this is-"
“Are you?”
Carmen head reels back,
“I don’t know if you did this on purpose or-”
“On purpose Carmen? What's wrong with spending some time with a friend? You’re so well versed in it”
“Oh come on, Claire's different”
The mention of her name out of Carmens mouth as you seething, and you can't control the words that flow out of your mouth like venom
“Different how Carmen?” Your vice rises, gripping the fabric of your dress as you heave.
“You’ve spent weeks with her out every goddamn night. So tell me, how is it different”
Carmen huffs, his eyebrows furrowing as he shakes his head like you were insane. You hated that, hated the look of confusion he had wherever you brought up Claire. Like he thought you couldn't see him replacing you.
“You don’t know Luca like I do, he’s from a a part of my life you never existed in Carmen. And I don't know if you think I'm fucking blind or just too stupid to realise whats going on”
You watch the way Carmen's chests heaves up and down, his eyes a inky black as he grunts out
“What’s that supposed to mean”
“You want her Carmen! It’s as clear as fucking day for everybody. You know how embarrassing it is to walk into the kitchen everyday and watch the rest of the crew look at me in pity? You don't even see me anymore”
“I don’t see you, what are you talking about?” Carmen's voice rises, the veins bulging from his forehead as his curls shake with his confused anger
“Don’t fucking lie to me. I told you, I fucking told you Carmen” You grunt out as your throat tightens, hands shaking at your sides.
“I told you about my past, and you promised me.” You walk to him, pressing a finger to his chest roughly.
“You promised me you wouldn't do that, I never told you to but you did. And I let you lie to me”
“I don't know what you think-”
“Carmen you’re losing your mind over one dinner with Luca! Do you know how many times you've spent the entire day with her? Do you?”
“You know she's just a friend. I don't know why you're starting this huge fight over a friend!” Carmen says, his hand gripping the sides of his jeans tightly.
Your chest tightens as you try to breathe, tears dripping down your cheeks. You wipe at them angrily, he wasn't supposed to see you like this, this wasn't how it was supposed to go. God, why did you have to such a fucking mess?
“Go” You reply quietly. Your head is hung, your tears blurring the tiles of the kitchen floor.
“What?”
“Go be with her!”
“You’re the one who went out with Luca just to spite me, maybe you should go to him” Carmen spits out
You push yourself off the counter, moving towards the hallway as your body shakes with anger and your mind blurs with betrayal.
“Where are you going?”
“What you told me too.”
“Wait-”
“You know what's funny? He invited me to join him in opening up his new spot and before all of this- I wouldn't have even thought of it, but now? Luca is the only one who’s thought of me in weeks, you won't miss me” You spit back at him.
You’re rummaging for your keys when you say that, back turned to Carmen as you blink back hot swirls of anger. You're expecting him to bite back or yell or scream or say anything, but it's just silence. The loss of noise that has been all that filled the air causes you to turn around to face him again.
And this time you take a good look at Carmen, and perhaps you were too blinded by your own bitterness to realise how he looked now. You expected him to be angry, fuming, his cheeks red and his body taunt but you don’t see that.
It’s like you've come face to face with someone entirely different. Carmen's shoulders are hunched, his hands are tightly curled in on themselves and he looks smaller than you remember.
His face has this ghastly paleness to it, a sheen of sweat on his forehead and your heart skips a beat when you meet his eyes. They are unblinking, pupils dilating as he's frozen in place, chest heaving up and down, looking almost straight through you.
Desperation and fear cowers over Carmen's frame, and it’s like he can’t speak to you, like he's falling apart in the entry hall of you're too expensive apartment’s hallway.
“Carmen?” You whisper. You can feel the anger of your face melt into panicked worry as you drop whatever had been in your hands in a haste to reach him.
Carmen shakes his head, his hand coming up to grip his chest as winces in pain
“Don’t, fucking godamnit-” Carmen berates, the look of panic and shame swirling his features and he fights to get the words out
“Can’t fucking-” Carmen grunts out, shoulders hunched over and he slowly sinks to the hardwood fall
“Carmen you need to breathe Baby” You whisper crouching over him, hands shaking as you try to hide the fear of seeing him like this. Shattered and breaking and peeling at the corners because of what you had said.
“Please, don’t leave me. Don’t fucking leave me here” Carmen voice rips out in desperation, leaning against the wall as anxiety surges through his body.
“I wasn’t-”
“You were going to go, you can’t- I need you” Carmen grunts, his low breath shudders and stutters over itself.
“I know, I know I’m so sorry. I was angry, I didn’t mean any of it, none of it Carmy” You whisper, your throat tight as you fight tears trying to hold together the man falling apart in front of you
You’re scared to look down at his face but you do it anyway, and his eyes are wide and darting around like his entire life is flashing before his eyes.
It was like he was dying, this look of impending doom and horror twisting his features and your words can’t reach wherever he is. Somewhere deep and cold and miles away from where your body is near folded against his.
You try calling out for him, until your voice gets hoarse and your chest is tired. Until you reach for his hand and place it on your chest and force him to follow the rise and fall of your own. You sit in that position for a while, at least until you can hear his breathing go back to a semblance of normal. He doesn't let go of his grip on your wrist though, holding onto it like an anchor to bring him back to himself.
“M’ so sorry” Carmen croaks out, his voice hoarse and taunt like how it usually is in the mornings. He looks up at you, how you cover him entirely when you lean against him like this. His eyes are half lidded and red, and his eyebrows furrow and his voice quivers, and he looks like the frightened boy he was once in a house he hated.
And suddenly your ears ring and Claire and Luca and the black hole of your insecurities and everything that had mattered until this moment disappears. You feel so foolish then, so stupid and pathetic for the angry and they hurt you had harboured and kept against your chest.
You shake your head and Carmen reaches for your jaw to stop the motion, rubbing it gently across your cheek as he blinks.
“It didn’t matter if I couldn’t see it, it didn’t matter if all I ever felt towards Claire is friendship”
“I know Carmen, I was just scared” You grip your fist trying to force the words out. “I was scared you were leaving me, and I just let that fear rot away at me for months. I know you Carm, I know you wouldn’t, but I just-- wanted to feel the hurt that I did”
Carmen swallows the lump that lodges itself in his throat, nodding softly to your words.
“I don’t know why I was such an idiot, so blind to what it was doing to you. I-”
“I’m not really, um used to belonging to someone, you know?” Carmen shudders, blinking back tears softly. “And I’m not trying to justify what I did, but I kind of had written of this after Mickey. I don’t know if I could go through something like that again. Losing you, it would..” Carmen doesn't finish his sentence, his eyes close for a second and he tries to still his racing heart at the thought of it.
“And I couldn’t do that to you, cause such pain and grief. Make you have to get used to forgetting me” Carmen continues. “I don’t know if I was using my friendship with Claire as a way to push you away, or- or make you want to just erase me all together subconsciously”
“But when you said you were going to leave? Go to him- it’s like my brain short circuited. I couldnt even fucking breathe, this nightmarre I was harboring had come alive and was taking you from me and it felt like you had died or something.” Carmen whispers
He grips you closer to his chest then, as if you would disintegrate and leave him in a silent room if he tried to let go. Wrapping your hands around his face you press your face against his, inhaling the scent of burning oil and cigarettes that had been yours and would always be.
“I didn’t mean it, I didn’t Carmen. I was being rash and angry and I said things I shouldn’t have” You reply, blinking softly as you consider the past few days.
After a silence you shake your head, “You deserve better. Someone who isn’t so goddamn insecure and selfish-”
“What?” Carmen tries to stop your rambling and you turn to him incredulously
“I nearly broke you Carmen? I did things to purposely hurt you, I brought up Luca I went to him to spite you”
“I dont fucking care” Carmen grunts out. And it has you turning to look down at him.
“I don’t care if you leave the Bear and help him with his fucking Menu’s and restaurent, I dont care about any of it. I just want you. I just need you to be here, with me, like this. In whatever way or version you give me I want it”
You shudder at his words, and taking in the darkness that swarms through his blues you know he means every word.
“If what you had been feeling about Claire was even an ounce of what it felt like watching you turn to leave you did not a goddamn thing wrong. And if you want me stop talking to her I’ll remove her from my life without a second thought”
“No Carmen. Despite my own anger she is one of the few friendships you've maintained outside of the Bear.”
“You think I care about fuckin’ friendships? I could have none but have you and I’d have enough”
Something inside of you preens at that, at the knowledge that you were enough to fill everything. So long you had gone as second best in your life, the thought of being someone's everything was addictive. But you swallow away the part of you that craves just that and press a kiss to his cheek.
“As much as I enjoy that, you should be able to have friends without ending up in a panic-inducing nervous breakdown because I got jealous. I should learn how to be able to talk to you about things, no? To truly let myself believe what I know to be true” You breath out, smiling at the way Carmen nods to your words.
“And it is, everything in me belongs to you. Every thought, every touch, every kiss, every inch of my skin. I am reluctant about most things in my life, all things really but you. And I’d sooner die than let this happen ever again” Carmen replies softly.
The love and fear and mixture of grief swirls in your chest so bright you fear it might spill out of your mouth, so all you do is bring your hand to his jaw and press your lips against his. Carmen answers it with soft brushes of his mouth, it was delicate and slow like all the anger and passion coursing through the both of you had been this all along. A dizzying and sluggish kind of warmth that had wrapped every conversation, every touch and silence between you both.
He had marked you as you had him, a gentle kind of scarring of love and desperate wanting that you could feel under your skin, between your ribs, across your chest. You let yourself sink into the feeling of being entirely wanted until your leg falls asleep and you feel the weight of Carmen carrying you back to the bed that was left empty for too long.
