Ichigo loves Shakespeare okay??
So you know how it’s pretty widely known that Ichigo loves Shakespeare? What if when he’s really and truly angry, far past the normal ‘I will shove my fist so far up your nose’ levels he gets, that he just loses it. And instead of going on a temper tantrum rampage, he just starts screaming Shakespearean insults? Just full on:
“The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostrils!”
“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes!”
“There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune!”
“Thine face is not worth sunburning!”
“Thou art a boil, a plague sore!”
“Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat!”
“Thou lump of foul deformity!”
“Like the toad; ugly and venomous.”
“Thou art unfit for any place but hell.”
“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!”
“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”
And even better is that the first few times no one would know wtf is going on. So it’s mainly Chad pinning Ichigo, who’s screaming and trying to throttle someone, while everyone else gapes.
(Then they realize that Ichigo can quote Shakespeare backwards and forwards and can even tell you the exact line/act/position of anything you wanted to know (though the placement also depends on the book used. He knows his own well) and it just gets creepy.)