#nerdiosaurus

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

My dog smells so good, I don't care that she's slowly crushing all my organs, she can lay on me all night.

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

I got to the counter at Walgreens and realized all I had was a 1000 count of ibuprofen, a 72 count of tampons, 2 pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and a box of Chips Ahoy.

We all knew what was happening there.

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

My cat just leapt 5 feet straight up into the air expecting me catch him. I was just standing there, and with no warning, he legit jumped onto my chest. It was like the cat version of a surprise trust fall.

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

True courage is wearing a skirt that barely zips, then going out and drinking beer.

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

My dog just stepped over my cat instead of on her and I'm just so damn proud.

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

I had a great idea for a super clever text post, but I googled it on a whim, and, well, turns out I'm not the special snowflake I thought I was :/

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

I could never be a makeup artist because I find it physically painful to look strangers in the face.

[ten-thousand-frogs-screaming]

I pulled a cat hair off my eyeball today. I guess it's all downhill from here on the ol' Crazy Cat Lady Express.