Summary: Cassian has a surprise for his favorite bookworm. Fluffy & adorable Nessian.
Cassian knew that Nesta was a voracious reader. She devoured books hastily and greedily. Thankfully, there was no shortage of books when their House literally dropped books out of thin air. Then, there were the girls. One best friend was the foremost expert in smut and romance while the other one lived in a library. Naturally, piles and piles of books adorned their bedroom.
There were several things that needed to be tolerated when dating a bookworm as fierce as Nesta. When Nesta read a particularly spectacular novel she was entranced. It looked as if she was under a spell. No shouting or neck kissing could break her out (most of the time, at least). Arguments had been waged on numerous occasions regarding the proper organization of bookshelves, what was considered a horrible ending, and the absolute madness of certain pairings. Losing her place in a novel was comparable to torture. If he was the cause, well, he tended to suffer.
Nesta had a habit of using whatever was around to mark her spot in a book. She used scraps of paper, hairpins, playing cards and sometimes leaves. She had even started to tuck his leather hair ties into the pages.
"Why don't you just fold the corner of the page?" he innocently asked one night.
There were many looks that Nesta gave Cassian that he cataloged to memory. There were several "murder Cassian" glares. In that moment, the look she gave him at the mere suggestion of what he later learned was called "dog-earing" was enough to scare him into being a devoted and dutiful mate for the rest of the day.
But the "kill your mate" stare often resulted in some of Cassian's best ideas to make her smile.
After a long day, both of them had retreated to their bedroom. Nesta was dressing for bed while Cassian was shirtless on an armchair going over a training schedule. Once finished changing, Nesta moved to their bed. She shifted and shuffled around the mattress until she found herself in the perfect reading position. Cassian sneaked a glance at what was soon becoming the sight he looked forward to every day. She was wearing his shirt. Her hair was unbound and fanned around her face like a goddess. Her face was calm with a small smile full of eagerness to dive into her book.
She grabbed her current novel from the stack on her bedside table. He knew this one was about a steamy love triangle set in a kingdom at war. She was at the part where the heroine was now falling for the dashing young son of the family trying to hijack her throne.
He heard a gasp and knew it wasn't because of the smut. Nesta's eyes were staring incredulously at the object in her hand.
In her hands was a gift: a bookmark. However, it was not just any ordinary bookmark. It was a paper-thin plate of silver filigree with swirls that resembled Illyrian markings. At the top was a smooth leather strip with a small jeweled charm at the end: an eight-pointed star, their bargain mark.
It was both strong and elegant.
"Oh that. I figured you needed a proper bookmark," he said nonchalantly. As if he hadn't spent hours thinking up the perfect design. As if he wasn't filled with smug satisfaction at her reaction. As if his smile didn't widen at the thought of her marking the thousands upon thousands of pages she would devour in her lifetime with his gift.
"You were stealing my leather ties, so I thought I'd turn one into a bookmark. I found a smith in Windhaven to make it. It's made of Illyrian steel so it's going to last a long time."
"Cassian... it's beautiful," she was in awe. Her hand traced the intricate designs carved into the metal. She spun a finger around the leather and held the charm close to her chest. She looked up at him with his favorite expression of all. It was the look that took his breath away, made his heart race, and brought him to his knees. The look that filled his heart with adoration and love.
She dropped the book and gift on the bed and rushed over to him. She climbed on top of him and ran her hands through his hair as she pulled him into a deep kiss. She pulled away lifting his chin up to meet her gaze.
"What can I possibly give you in return that could compare?" she ask with adoration in her eyes.
Cassian's hands stroked her hips and a devilish grin transformed his features. "I can think of a few things..." he said dropping his head to catch her lips.
bat boys/nessian oneshot. modern au. literally just pure fluff. it’s sickening.
a/n: technically a follow up to the best flower bros oneshot, so it might be helpful to read that, but totally not necessary!
wordcount: ~2.8k
tw: language
Cassian is a man living on the edge.
He wishes he could say that it’s only because he’s marrying the love of his life today and he needs the day to go off without a hitch, but it has more to do with the permanent smirks gracing his brothers’—his best mens’—faces. At this point, he’s not sure if Rhysand is actually planning something to get back at him for the little stunt he had pulled at his brother’s wedding, or if the whole day the bastard has been toying with him—making Cassian think he’s planning something, the psychological warfare the sweetest revenge in itself, the anticipation for whatever his brothers are plotting making Cassian’s brain go haywire. Every time Rhys so much as breathes too loudly, Cassian flinches, not even sure what to expect, just knowing it can’t be good.
It had come to a head in the room of the farmhouse where they had been getting ready, Helion shoving a drink in Cassian’s hand that was just good enough to distract him from his two brothers slipping out of the room and returning a few minutes later with a smugness on their faces that had every warning bell in Cassian’s brain clanging. He had immediately shooed out the rest of the party to square off against his two brothers, arms crossed across his chest.
Az had rolled his eyes at the posturing, while Rhys innocently cocked his head and clapped a hand on his shoulder, telling him to relax, with that damning twinkle in his eye that caused him to tense even more.
He had never regretted the prank he had pulled at Rhys’s wedding more than that moment.
He wanted to grab them by the shoulders and scream that it wasn’t just their balls on the line if something went wrong, but his own, too. He loved the hell out of his future wife, but Nesta could still scare the shit out of him while somehow turning him on at the same time, which just made her all the more terrifying.
He knows, really, that the anxiety coursing through his veins doesn’t just have to do with getting pranked, knows that it’s the wedding itself that’s causing his heart to crawl into his throat, but he’d much rather dwell on his brothers’ potential shenanigans than be turned into a sniveling, fidgeting mess.
Not that he’s nervous about marrying Nesta. Gods, that had been the easiest decision of his life.
But old habits die hard, and sometimes old fears rear their ugly heads, making Cassian doubt he’ll ever be good enough for her, ever worth it—
So it’s easier to focus on his pain-in-the-ass brothers, instead.
But now, minutes before the ceremony, he thinks he might finally be in the clear. At least until the reception.
He had made Rhys and Az swear not to pull anything during the ceremony on Nesta’s behalf, who had demanded no pranks to potentially ruin photos of the ceremony.
When they agreed all too easily, Cassian, knowing his brother’s words were worth shit, had gone to Nesta and made her threaten them. And, for extra measure, he had asked (begged) Feyre for a favor, and she had sighed, but told Rhys that she wouldn’t have sex with him for a week if he pulled any funny business while Cassian and Nesta got married.
So the ceremony, beginning in fifteen minutes, after the private “first-look” photos, is off limits.
Meaning he’s safe.
For now.
And since he’s safe, the anxiety that clutches his chest like a vise morphs into a different type of anticipation, excitement and nerves thrumming through his body like a live wire.
Because Nesta is about to be his wife.
Azriel stands beside him where he faces the rolling gardens that stretch from the porch to the edge of the property line of the venue they had rented for the wedding and reception. The aisle and altar stand in a shaded grove on the other side of the property, beyond the towering farmhouse from which Nesta will emerge.
When she had suggested doing a first-look photo shoot, revealing her in her dress to just him and a photographer to capture the moment without any prying eyes, he hadn’t hesitated to agree.
I don’t need you bawling like a baby as I walk down the aisle, she had teased. Which he definitely would be. He started choking up during the rehearsal dinner last night, and she was only in a pale gray gown that fell to her knees. She had kept her wedding dress tightly locked away, so he has no idea what she’ll look like, but he’ll be a blubbering mess the first time he sees her regardless. Because no matter the dress, it’ll be her. His Nesta. His wife. And that’s what matters, all that matters.
Cassian feels tears begin to prick his eyes and wipes at them before they can fall and Az can tease him. He feels his brother’s burning gaze on him anyway, but luckily, the other man only murmurs that the photographer is here, meaning Nesta should be emerging any second. Rhys, unable to go a few hours without trailing after his wife—the sap—had gone to visit Feyre under the guise of retrieving Nesta and bringing her to the porch of the farmhouse where Cassian waits.
“This is really happening, huh?” he mutters to his brother, drumming his fingers on his thighs, fidgeting with his cufflinks, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Az places a hand between his shoulder blades to steady him, and Cassian tries to take a deep breath.
“I’m happy for you, brother,” Azriel murmurs, then tosses a glance over his shoulder, his dark eyes brightening with something a lot like glee. The wooden slats creak under the weight of someone standing behind him, on the other end of the porch, and Cassian isn’t all that surprised to find his hands shaking already.
Azriel turns back to him and fucking beams. “She’s here.” With one last squeeze of his shoulder, he backs away, and Cassian strains his ears, hearing Az pause where Nesta must be waiting. “I’m happy for you, too.” There’s a teasing note in his voice, and then more creaking as he pads down the wooden steps of the porch to stand in the garden, content to watch from a distance with Rhys, leaving him and his future wife alone on the porch. The faint clicking of the photographer’s camera coming from somewhere around the corner is nearly muffled by the roaring in his ears.
Nesta shifts behind him, closing the distance until he can feel the heat of her at his back, and he releases a shaky exhale.
A hand squeezes his ass, and he jumps a little before huffing out a breathy laugh. “Easy, sweetheart,” he murmurs, closing his eyes. “We have company.”
Instead of responding, a warm hand falls on his shoulder and squeezes, and he guesses that’s his invitation to finally turn around.
He takes a deep breath, tears already pricking the corner of his eyes, then turns.
And stumbles back a step, bumping into the wall of the house, speechless.
Because, in front of him stands not his fiancée, not Nesta, but Rhys, his brother wearing a white, sleeveless gown that’s too tight across his broad shoulders and flares out to a tutu that hits about mid-thigh. A flower crown weaves through his inky black hair, a veil fluttering in the breeze behind him.
Cassian can only stare as his brother holds his arms in front of him, and says, in a high falsetto voice, “Honey, I’m here!”
He blinks once. Twice.
And then Cassian doubles over and—loses it.
He falls further back against the wall, one arm splayed to keep him semi-upright, gut-wrenching laughs being pulled out of him, slapping at his chest. When he manages to crack open his eyes, seeing Rhys with his arms still outstretched, a false pout on his lips, his knees nearly come out from underneath him with the force of his guffaws.
“Sweetheart.” Rhys stomps his foot, his skirts flouncing at the motion, still using that ridiculously high voice, and Cassian thinks he might die of laughter, really. “It isn’t very polite of you, laughing at your fiancée like this.”
Cassian finally manages to straighten, catching a glimpse of Azriel over Rhys’s shoulder, his other brother’s shoulders shaking with restrained hoots of laughter, a phone in hand as he records the whole thing. Grin stretching so wide it hurts his cheeks, Cassian eyes Rhys up and down, taking in the whole get-up. It’s nothing more than a Halloween costume, really, but it’s about three sizes too small and nearly busting at the seams. He had even smeared some red lipstick across his lips. Still, his brother is rocking the ensemble, and the sight is almost enough to make Cassian lose it again.
Almost.
And Rhys must see the gleam in his eyes, because his own widen for a beat in panic, before he schools his face back into the pouting, if slightly more wary, mask.
“My apologies, sweetheart. I’d love to make it up to you.”
And before Rhys can even think to move, Cassian darts forward and pulls Rhys up and into his arms, cradling him bridal-style, no easy feat considering his brother is his height and nearly as broad and squirming.
The facade drops like a hat. “Cassian, as your boss, I’m demanding you to put me down this instant, or I swear to the Mother—”
“Now, now, is that any way to talk to your future husband?” Cassian tightens his grip as Rhys continues to buck around, trying to get free, and Cassian is honestly surprised Azriel hasn’t dropped the phone yet considering how hard he’s howling. Cassian leans forward, puckering his lips, and—
“How romantic. Should I let the officiant know that there seems to be a change of plans?”
Cassian drops Rhys, the other man barely getting his legs down in time to catch him and grunting at the impact, and whirls to the sound of her voice.
“Babe, it’s not what it looks like.”
Nesta stands beside Azriel—who’s still grinning like a madman—her hands propped on her hips and an eyebrow raised. “Oh really,” she purrs. “Because it looks like my fiancé and brother-in-law are about to elope.” There’s a teasing glint in her eye as she and Azriel climb the stairs to stand across from them on the porch. “Whatever will I do with all the negligees I have packed for our honeymoon?”
It’s then Cassian takes her in.
She’s not yet in her wedding dress, but her makeup is striking, her hair is done in a lose crown braid, soft tendrils loose and curling to frame her face. And she’s wearing a slip of a white robe with her initials monogrammed over her heart, the silk doing nothing to hide her curves, and—
Gods, the breath is punched right out of his lungs.
He is definitely going to cry when she walks down the aisle, whether he’s seen her in the dress beforehand or not.
Hell, he’s about to cry now.
With a clap of his hand on Cassian’s shoulder, Rhys brushes past him to stand on Nesta’s other side. He slings a casual arm over his shoulder.
And Nesta doesn’t shake him off in disgust.
If anything, her grin widens at Cassian’s slack jaw, and she cocks her head to the side, raising her other eyebrow. “Yes, dear?”
Cassian’s pretty sure he’s died.
“You… you two planned this? Together?”
“I planned it,” Nesta retorts, and Rhys shrugs in assent. Azriel nods. “They were only too willing to play a part.”
Cassian still can’t wrap his mind around them working together.
He pointed between Rhys and Nesta. “You’re telling me you two actually agreed on something?”
“In this particular instance, our interests were aligned.”
Rhys nods again. “Payback’s a bitch, brother.”
Nesta pulls out from under Rhys’s arm, and finally scans him head to toe. Rhys crosses his arms across his chest, challenge in his eyes. A smirk slashes across her face, and Cassian knows in his soul that their truce is over. “And to think Feyre said you couldn’t pull it off.”
Rhys’s jaw drops, and he spins around, like he’s going to find his very pregnant wife squatting behind a bush. “She did not.”
Nesta wiggles her eyebrows in Cassian’s direction behind his back, and he chuckles, closing the distance between them so he can reach out and snatch her wrist, pulling her close.
“Gods, you’re sexy when you’re scheming.”
“Even when it’s at your expense?”
He winks. “Especially when it’s at my expense.”
Her eyes practically glow. “Good.”
He’s just bending to close the distance between their lips when he’s suddenly being yanked back by the collar of his tux.
“None of that. I did not just spend an hour on her makeup for you to ruin it.”
He spins to find Elain behind him, chiffon skirts fluttering and camera dangling from her hand and fire in her eyes. “Cauldron, woman, where did you even come from?”
She jerks her head to the side, and then Feyre emerges not from the bushes but from around the other corner of the house, waddling a little, one hand on her rounded stomach, just visible under the flowing skirts of her dress. She stops dead in her tracks and claps the other hand over her mouth at the sight of her husband, who has rushed forward to greet her, his own skirts trailing behind him. “Darling.” He plants a kiss on her cheek, then bends further to plant one on her stomach. “Aren’t I stunning?”
Feyre manages to remove her hand from her mouth, keeping a straight face through whatever iron strength she possesses. “Absolutely radiant, my love. I think you should wear this when we renew our vows.”
Nesta rolls her eyes, even as the corner of her lips tug upward.
Feyre looks at Rhys, then to Cassian, then back to Rhys, mischievous grin crossing her face. “You got him good, didn’t you?” She raises her hand for a high-five, and Rhys obliges. Azriel groans.
“Alright, enough of that,” Elain tuts. “We’re running behind schedule, and we need to get someone into her dress and,” a glance at Rhys, who’s made his way back up onto the porch with his wife on his arm, “someone else out of his.”
Cassian shakes his head, meeting his fiancée’s eyes. “So was all that bullshit about not interrupting the ceremony just a way to keep my attention elsewhere? Get me so worried about that, that I’d let my guard down for this?”
Nesta’s gaze darkens even as a smile pulls at her lips, and she turns to face his two brothers, who go rigid under her glare, her voice deadly soft. “Oh no, that threat was very real. If you two idiots even think of pulling something during the ceremony, I will cut off your favorite body part and enjoy every second of it.
Rhys has the good sense to look down at Feyre, who nods gravely. Cassian swears Azriel swallows.
Before Cassian can pull her back to him and try his hardest to ruin Elain’s hard work, the other two Archeron sisters are tugging the bride off the steps and back around the corner to the bridal suite within the farmhouse.
“Wait,” Cassian calls. “I thought the point of this was so I don’t ruin any ceremony photos with my ‘blubbering’ when I see your dress?”
Nesta turns slightly to throw a wink at him, the shoulder of the robe slipping down to reveal bare skin, and damn if his pants don’t start to feel a little tight in the crotch. “Fuck the photos. All I want is to marry you.”
And then she disappears around the corner, leaving the three brothers alone on the porch again.
He expects the nerves to rush back in now that she’s gone, the realization that he’s about to get married to scare him shitless, but—
Nothing.
All that anxiety—gone.
And as Rhys—the faux diamonds on the bodice sparkling in the afternoon light, steps to Cassian’s side—Cassian realizes that’s the gift that his brothers decided to give him, not really a prank at all.
Paying back the favor, indeed.
This time when he lunges to pull his brother into a hug, Rhys doesn’t resist, and pats him on the back, Azriel watching with a fond expression.
Cassian takes their closeness as an opportunity to whisper low in Rhys’s ear. “You think Az knows that when he finally gets hitched, we’re coming for him next?”
He can feel Rhys’s laugh, and even though they’re out of hearing distance from their other brother, Azriel raises his eyebrows.
Cassian can feel Rhys’s smirk. “Oh, I think he’s counting on it.”
a/n: this was alternatively titled Rhys’s Revenge. like the the best flower bros, this was loosely based off a tiktok (found here), bc i am nothing if not weak for wedding shenanigan tiktoks.
general acotar tag list (if i’m missing you or you would like to be tagged/taken off, please let me know!!):
A/N: Have I ever told you how much I love angst? Oof, too much. This is set in the same au as this fic here, but there’s no need to read it to understand this. You only need to know that Nessian have five children: Ezra (15 - he’s 14 in the other part), Cal (10), Nora (7), Celia (6) and Andra (4). Ezra is my bby boy and I think we can all agree he’s the best;)
Enjoy!
Word count: 5,175
Cassian couldn't get over how hot a human being could get before collapsing or dying. He could feel the sweat dripping down his back as if he were under the shower jet, and Andra's sticky little hands pulling on his left arm every four seconds didn't help. His mind was somewhere else as he led his family toward the market parking lot.
They were spending their summer vacation in Adriata and although the last ten days had been great, today Nesta had had the great idea of taking the whole family to one of those traditional street markets and it hadn't even taken two hours before the whole Navarro team started complaining that they wanted to be at the beach instead of at that place of "old men with three minutes left of life" - as Celia had described it.
Nesta had tried to convince them that they could have fun there too, watching the locals as they created traditional items from the region and cocked typical local street food, but when she had turned around to see the reaction of the clique, even Cassian had a bored grimace on his face and had sighed, she had decided she stood no chance against them.
After all, though she would never admit it out loud, she didn't even mind all that much spending another day on the sand soaking up the sun while her kids played in the water and didn't bother her.
"Dad are you okay?" asked Ezra suddenly. Cassian turned to his son with a furrowed brow and maybe he had moved too fast because he saw black for a second.
He nodded bringing a hand up to his face to cover himself from the sun, "It's this goddamn heat that's making me sick, but I'm fine don't worry."
Nesta gave him a wary look, ready to snap forward in case her husband decided to pass out, but Cassian smiled lovingly at her and she sighed again, lowering her hat over her face.
"When we get to the beach can we go swimming right away?" asked Andra mumbling half the words as she ate a cookie.
"No, you have to wait until I've put sunscreen on you and everyone else," Nesta answered her flatly - they had that talk every day now. "No one goes in the water until you're all ready, remember?" her mom asked her.
Andra nodded, a little disappointed that she wouldn't be able to jump into the water the second they arrived. They'd made that rule after the fourth time the first two to be ready and “sunscreened” had run into the sea and left the others alone and it had been a ruckus of crying and fits of abandonment.
"I'm hungry." said Celia hopping in front of them and starting to walk backwards so she could look them in the face. Cassian was about to tell her to watch out for the road when the little girl stopped and frowned, making everyone else stop as well.
Nesta extended a hand towards her to cross the street, "We'll figure it out when we get to the car, now give me your hand come on."
"Mom," Cal said with a hint of agitation in his voice. Cassian turned to him feeling his uneasiness. His son's dark eyes locked into his, "Where's Nora?"
Ezra jerked his head up, taking his eyes off his phone, "She was next to me ten seconds ago." he said.
Cassian let go of Andra's hand, moving between them to see if she was hiding behind someone. "Nora!" he called agitatedly. He cast a quick glance at Nesta before starting to walk briskly in the direction they had just come from, motioning the people walking towards him. Ezra brought a hand to his hair and cursed.
Nesta counted her children and gave a choked noise, closing her eyes, "Let's be calm."
"Nora!" they heard Cassian yell again as the reality of what was happening was spread over them like a giant, suffocating black veil.
Ezra stepped closer to her, eyes wide, "I'm going with dad."
"No." said Nesta immediately, her hands beginning to shake. She felt her legs bounce with the need to run after Cassian and find their daughter. Her eyes darted from spot to spot in the garden, behind the bench, through the trees, next to the playground. Nora seemed to be nowhere to be found.
She heard a ringing in her ears and the faint sound of Cassian's voice shouting in the distance.
"Mom." called Ezra to her again, with more urgency.
Nesta snapped out of her trance and grabbed Andra's hand, taking her in her arms and giving her to Ezra, who took his sister without hesitation, "You hold them, I'll go with dad." then she pushed Celia and Cal closer to their older brother, "Please, please don't wander away from here." her voice broke mid-sentence and Ezra winced. He had never seen his mother so upset in his life. None of them had.
Andra began to whimper, probably only just realizing in that moment that Nesta was about to leave. Ezra put a hand on the back of her head and pushed her against his shoulder, "I got this, go find Nora."
Nesta looked into his eyes and blinked a few times, then counted again. One, Ezra, two, Cal, three- three, Celia, four, Andra. Only Nora was missing.
She turned and without another word began to run through the crowd, letting her eyes run over every figure shorter than her hips.
Her stomach was twisting so hard she was afraid she might throw up at any moment.
"Nora."
She saw Cassian freeze suddenly across the garden. Leaning forward as he brought his hands to his mouth in a daze and then resumed running through the crowd shouting his daughter's name.
Nesta stopped in turn, starting to spin around.
This place was too big.
Too big.
She began to breathe heavily, resuming to dart through people, asking anyone if they had seen a little girl with black hair and dark eyes.
No one answered her, but the reaction of the others was always the same. Their faces scrunched up in grimaces of pity and sadness.
Where is my daughter?
The second those words formed in her head a sob came desperately from her throat, scratching its way out of her.
A couple beside her had stopped and were about to approach her, but Nesta had no time.
She started running again, "Nora!"
She felt the dread of any possible option make its way inside her. The idea that she had only strayed from the family and was safe a hope too great for her to wish for.
The image of someone drawing Nora's attention away from the family and kidnapping her was as vivid as a picture in her mind.
How had this happened?
They had all been together until seconds before.
How had it-
Nesta's breath suddenly caught as her vision blurred and she leaned forward, bringing a hand to her throat. She closed her eyes, trying to breathe in enough air to keep looking for Nora.
How many minutes had passed?
How long had she been looking for her?
She felt a hand settle on her back and she snapped forward, pulling herself up and turning around to see who it was.
How long had she been gone?
Nesta sobbed as her face turned into a mask of pain. She had never seen that fear, that terror, in Cassian. She thought at that moment that no parent should ever be forced to feel such utter horror.
Cassian brought his hands to her shoulders, "Nes, I know," his voice as hoarse as hers, but his eyes were so serious, so focused, "I can't find her either, but she can't be too far away." he tried to reason with her.
"What if-" she took a shuddering breath, "what if she hasn't gone far?"
His eyes darkened as he squeezed her shoulders.
"What if someone took her?" she breathed.
Cassian shook his head, looking around, "Don't talk shit, kids get lost all the time," then turned around eyeing all the kids running through the crowd, "She'll be around here for sure."
Her children never strayed.
"Listen to me," Nesta demanded, "it happens. Children get kidnapped and- and taken to the other side of the world to be sold." another sob escaped her.
Cassian closed his eyes, breathing through his nostrils, "Can you please not talk about child trafficking right now?" he begged her. Then she looked over his shoulder and behind him immediately after, "Where are the others?" the panic clear in his voice.
Nesta put a hand on his chest, "They're with Ezra at the entrance of the park." she reassured him, "So if Nora comes through there, they'll see her."
Cassian nodded, then gave her a quick kiss on the lips, bringing her hands to her face, "We find her, okay?"
Nesta nodded.
"And we're not leaving until we do," he murmured.
Then they parted again.
Every time she heard a child crying, laughing, screaming, Nesta felt hope bloom in her chest and her heart break when she realized it wasn't Nora.
A lady had flanked her after ten minutes and they had been looking together for half an hour. She had returned to the entrance after a few minutes to leave Ezra some money and the car keys in case they needed anything, but she had begged them again not to move from where she had left them.
"What was she wearing?" the woman asked. Nesta turned to her with wide eyes and it was as if he couldn't see her. She was looking at her but had no face, no name.
She shook her head, bringing her hands to her temples and closing her eyes, trying to remember what she had taken out of the suitcase that morning, but billions of memories and images were repeating in her head.
The first outfit they had given her when she was still pregnant and had found out she was expecting a girl. The way she had realized just then that she was going to have a little girl.
All the pairs of white and pink and purple booties they had bought her. All the toys she had been submerged in and all the things her aunts and uncles had spoiled her with by being the first of the girls to enter the family.
"I don't remember," she whispered, "I don't remember. My husband dressed her this morning."
Oh god, Cassian.
She hadn't seen him in half an hour, but she knew that he too had gone to make sure the others were okay and had stayed put at the entrance. Cal had made sure to let her know.
The lady put a hand on her shoulder, "It's okay, it's not important." then she stepped closer and Nesta looked up, "If you don't want to involve the authorities that's fine, but there's one of the park rangers there, I think it would be wise to go talk to them, spread the word. Maybe Nora could hear someone talk about it too and get help."
Upon hearing her daughter's name, Nesta felt the tears build up behind her eyelids again. She nodded slightly and then the woman pushed her towards the ranger.
***
Cassian was going crazy.
Never in his life had he felt such extreme fear as he was feeling right now.
He could hear Nora's voice calling to him from every direction and none.
He could hear her laughter like an echo in the distance. He could see her dark, ever-cheerful eyes and-
"Nora!" he shrieked with all the voice he had left. He had lost track of time, but he knew it had been too many minutes, too many seconds, since his daughter had walked away. Too much time for her not to be crying in despair because she couldn't find her parents, her brothers or sisters, any person with a familiar face. He didn't want to picture her thinking they had abandoned her.
A group of people turned toward him, shocked by that sudden burst of hopelessness and anger. He brought a hand to his mouth and choked on a sob.
Nesta had planted the seed of doubt in his head and now he couldn't think of anything else but Nora being dragged away by strangers.
He tried to take a deep breath, to no avail.
Where are you? Where are you-
"Nora where are you?" he said in a broken voice, spinning around.
Two girls in the group stood up, approaching cautiously.
"Sir," one of them asked. Under other circumstances, Cassian would have laughed in outrage at that word. "Have you lost someone?"
"My daughter, Nora," he answered immediately, continuing to look around. How was it possible that there were so many people and no one had found her yet? Surely, a little girl crying in need would have found help right away. "She has dark hair and today she had two braids with fuchsia scrunchies and light blue pants and a green t-shirt."
"We heard one of the guards talking to your wife, I think," said the other. Cassian looked at them, they both had serious and worried expressions on their faces. "If you want we can help look for her."
"Please." he murmured, nodding. The words left his mouth before he could think them out.
One of the two girls turned to the group, "Guys come here."
It didn't take Cassian more than a minute to explain where they had last seen her and how she was dressed, how tall she was. And although he knew these people's intentions were good, he couldn't block out the concern. He was providing a clear picture of his daughter to a group of strangers that could have been as dangerous as they were helpful.
The feeling of panic and dread only intensified as they all scattered, beginning to shout his daughter's name.
He couldn't help but wonder if this would only make the situation worse.
Nora was smart and would never leave of her own will. But she was also very reserved, probably the shyest of their large family, if she heard someone call out her name, Cassian wasn't sure she would come forward. In fact, it would probably get the opposite reaction in her and make her look for a way to hide.
After all, he and Nesta had taught her not to trust strangers.
He ran his hands through his hair, taking a deep breath.
How was he going to explain to Nesta that he couldn't find her anywhere?
How was he supposed to get out of that place if he wasn't holding his daughter?
***
Nesta had fainted.
The lady had been just in time to put an arm around her waist when her legs had given out under her weight. She had closed her eyes for a second and then found herself lying on a bench, while someone pulled her legs up to get the blood flowing to her head, surrounded by curious and worried people.
"Nora..." she murmured, trying to find out something about the situation.
She wasn't crying, but she could feel the tears sliding down her temples.
Fuck the heat, fuck the low blood pressure.
She needed to find her daughter.
She had pulled herself up to her seat, despite the protests of the people around her, and resumed wandering around the park, screaming Nora's name as loudly as she could. It was as if the whole world was looking for her now. She could also hear the voices of others saying the name again and again and again.
She felt her legs weak and her knees wobble beneath her, ready to buckle from exhaustion, ready to give way one more time when she heard it.
"Mom!"
Nesta's head snapped in the direction of the sound, perhaps too quickly as she couldn't focus on anything, but she had already begun to cry when her daughter's small, puny body collided against her legs, leaping into the air to be picked up. Nesta let herself fall to the ground, taking Nora's face in her hands and laughing through her tears, looking into her eyes, making sure she was okay and unharmed. She was crying too, but she didn't seem to be hurt.
She wrapped her arms around the little girl as she too cried and hid her face in her mother's neck. Nesta breathed heavily when a sob broke the crying, one hand went to caress the girl's head.
"Nora." she whispered, "Nora, Nora, Nora-" she repeated over and over.
Her daughter's hands tightened around Nesta's shirt and she didn't care about anything else but the fact that Nora was okay. She was safe.
"Oh thank god." she heard someone say and then a loud thud, before arms wrapped around both of them and Cassian's sobs of relief and exhaustion from the dread they had shared so far joined theirs.
Nesta pulled away just enough so her husband could see that Nora was intact and when the little girl saw her father, a sound that Nesta wished she never heard again in her life made its way between them, produced by her daughter, "Dad!"
A huge smile spread across his face and Nesta laughed amidst tears, "Potato," he called before Nora launched herself onto him and wrapped her little arms around his neck. Cassian's hands left their place on Nesta's back and tightened on Nora.
"It's okay honey," she whispered, resting her forehead against Nora's back, "you found us." she continued when she heard her daughter sobbing louder.
She met Cassian's gaze over Nora's shoulder and smiled at him, letting go a sigh of relief and closing her eyes.
They stayed cuddled on that lawn until Nora stopped sobbing so hard that it seemed impossible to speak and each sob was like a stab to the heart. Nesta and Cassian had spent an hour looking for her, terrified that someone had kidnapped her, but Nora must have thought they had abandoned her, left her behind.
At the mere thought that she was the cause of the heartbreaking cry that was shaking her daughter, Nesta pulled Nora's arms away from Cassian's body and brought her to her chest, cradling her as she told her how much she loved her and how worried she had been. Then, to play it down a bit, she added chuckling, "Mom even fainted at one point, you know?" Nora's eyes had looked up at her at that point, "I fell straight down on the floor and some gentlemen had to lift my legs-"
She was interrupted by Cassian, "You what?"
She looked up at him, smiling wearily, and he seemed to realize how white she actually was just then. Cassian dropped his head forward, bringing a hand over his eyes, "Sorry I didn't notice, I was thinking about Nora-"
Nesta put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm fine." she told him, then looked at Nora again, "I'm fine." she repeated more slowly, moving a strand of hair from the little girl's forehead and smiling at her.
She felt Cassian's gaze on her, trying to figure out if she was actually okay, if she was going to pass out at any moment, but she didn't care. Nora was in her arms and breathing and intact and she didn't care about anything else.
The lady who had helped her had brought them a small bottle of water and now Nesta was sitting Nora down so she could drink.
"Easy there." Cassian had told her seeing how she had stuck to the bottle. It had hurt them both to see how quickly she had finished half the water.
That wasn't thirst, that was fear.
Nora hadn't said anything yet, but they knew it was only because she was in shock.
They had thanked everyone who had helped look for her and then turned back toward the exit, Nora in Cassian's arms, her head resting on her father's shoulder and her arms dangling at her sides as she slept worn out with emotion.
When Celia saw them coming she broke away from the group, starting to run towards them and shouting Nora's name, but Nesta brought a finger to her mouth and she froze dead in her tracks, but she was smiling. As were the other three for that matter.
Cassian could see the remnants of a cry on Andra's face and felt guilty for leaving them alone in the sun for so long without returning to them from time to time. He saw Ezra close his eyes and sigh with relief more than once and put Andra down, who along with Cal ran to their parents. Ezra sat down on a bench, bringing his hands to his face.
"Nora's resting now, okay?" pointed out Nesta to her three children. They all nodded frantically. "So let's not make too much noise."
"Mom and I thought we'd go back to the hotel, at least for a few hours," Cassian continued, keeping his gaze fixed on his oldest son, who still kept his elbows on his knees and his face hidden in his hands, "Then when she wakes up, after we've all eaten, we''ll see if we can go to the beach for a few hours, sounds like the plan?" Andra let out an excited squeal and Celia shushed her, Cal simply nodded, but he still looked worried about Nora.
Nesta smiled at him and lowered herself to their height. As if she had been a magnet, the three children immediately reached out, touching her in some way: one hand on her shoulder, one on her knee, one on her hand. Cassian stepped back.
"Nora's fine, I mean it," she squeezed Cal's tiny hand. "Sorry we were gone so long, but we couldn't find her," she explained to them, "We went all over the park, made new friends, talked to the park guards. I even fainted from the heat, ouch." she brought a hand to her forehead, imitating the fainting gesture, to make them laugh. It only worked with Andra. "But we're all fine, we're all here."
Nesta smiled, "One, Ezra." she said, "Two?"
"Cal." said the person directly concerned.
"Three?"
"Nora." said the girls.
"Four?" asked Andra.
"Celia." replied her sister, "And five?"
"Me!" squealed the youngest.
"That's right, you're five and you're all here," said Nesta, "You do know we didn't want to leave you alone here?" she asked, hesitant to introduce the subject. Three little heads nodded in confusion. "Dad and I would have reacted exactly the same way for all of you," she continued, "And we're sorry if we scared you acting like that, but we were scared too," she explained, stiffening her back and watching each of her children's reaction carefully, "If you feel that you're scared or stressed or want to cry because it seems like too much, you can do that. Mom and Dad cried, too." Celia opened her eyes wide, mouthing a dad and shifting her gaze to her father.
Cassian was much more emotional than Nesta, actually, but he tried never to do it in front of his kids because he knew it made them restless and sad. It had only happened a few times and Cassian still hadn't forgiven himself for making his kids worry like that, but that didn't mean they didn't teach them to express their feelings openly.
"These are stressful situations for everyone, so we understand if you need to release some frustration." Nesta smiled at them. Then an idea occurred to her, "How about when we get back to the beach tonight or tomorrow morning, we scream under the water so loud that we scare the little fish?"
Celia and Cal nodded again with excitement. Andra frowned, "I don't want to scare them."
Nesta stroked her face, "Then you'll sing to them and scream just a little bit loud. So we can let go of some of the stress of this horrible day, hmm?"
They all seemed to agree.
"Can we get pizza when we get to the hotel?" asked Celia with a strange glint in her eye. The little girl knew perfectly well when to ask for certain things. She knew full well when Nesta wouldn't be able to resist giving her kids everything they wanted without batting an eye.
Nesta nodded.
The children suddenly rejoiced and began to do a little dance that had been a tradition for more than seven years now. Something little Cal and the still child Ezra had invented when theirs sisters weren't even an idea.
Smiling, Nesta pulled herself up to her feet again, "Come on let's go to Dada."
***
"Ezra." murmured Cassian.
His son's head snapped toward him and he frowned. Cassian contracted his jaw.
"How is she?" asked Ezra in a raspy voice. Realizing this, he cleared his throat and pulled himself up to sit with his back straight, looking away from the approaching duo.
Cassian watched him closely, "She's fine, she got really scared and her mom found her crying, but she's fine." then he sat down next to him, being careful not to bend Nora's legs. Ezra bent down to his little sister, stroking her forehead, as Nesta had done only a few minutes before. "How are you?"
"Fine," his son replied too quickly, "why? How am I supposed to be?" he asked, snickering nervously.
Cassian was tired. So tired that if it wasn't for the fact that he had to take everyone to the hotel, he would have fallen asleep on the first free bench and slept for days, but he had to make sure his son was okay.
"Because we left you alone with the other three and it's not a small thing. Thank you for doing this." said Cassian to him, looking at the wedding band on his finger and playing with the ring, trying not to make the other uncomfortable.
Ezra shrugged, "I do it all the time, it's no big deal."
"That doesn't make the task any easier," his father murmured. "In fact, the fact that you do it every day is admirable and I'm sure without you, Mom and I wouldn't survive half a day," he chuckled. Ezra smiled wearily.
"How are you?" he tried again.
The boy seemed to really think about it, "I was afraid something bad had happened to her, but I couldn't do anything about it and I couldn't talk to the others about it because they're still too young and I'm sure a riot would have erupted if I said even half the stuff I was thinking," Ezra confessed in one breath. Cassian was about to respond, but his son continued, "And then Andra started crying and Celia was hungry and I didn't know what to do because she didn't like the stuff at the food trucks, but I couldn't get out of the park because if Nora came by, I'd lose her and-" he took a deep breath and looked toward Cassian, "You know?"
Cassian wished he didn't know. He wished his son didn't have to take those things into account. He wished he and Nesta didn't have to lean on him so much.
"Yes, I know," he murmured. Then he looked into his eyes, "I know your mom has been telling you this since you were born, Ezra, but if you want to cry because it all gets to be too much, no one is going to make fun of you or tell you to man up. You know it's all bullshit." said Cassian, turning slightly towards him, "Andra and Celia don't know how to talk about their emotions yet because they're too little, same with Cal and Nora and they cry to make us understand they're feeling too much. Just because you can release some of the tension by talking about it, doesn't mean it has to be just that way."
"I know," Ezra nodded, "I know," he said more softly. Then he ran a hand over his face, "Although I'd rather you didn't give me these heart-to-hearts in the middle of so many people."
Cassian chuckled, already feeling lighter upon hearing that Ezra had started joking again. He just had to make sure his son knew one last thing.
"Maybe not in situations like this, because we really needed you today," he said sincerely, "But when we're home and Mom and I want to take a night off and ask you to babysit, if you're not up for it or even just don't feel like it for one night, tell us and we'll figure something else out or we'll go out another time." Cassian watched as his other children danced in front of Nesta and smiled, "We would never want you to feel forced to parent."
"Yeah yeah, I know," Ezra chuckled, "all that talk about me being a son too and not having the same responsibilities as you as a sibling." he turned a relieved look to his father, "Mom reminds me enough that I know her speech better than happy birthday."
Cassian burst out laughing at Ezra's exasperated tone and when Nesta and the others stopped in front of them they were all smiling. Nesta leaned forward over her oldest son kissed his forehead, "Thank you, love."
Ezra nodded just once, a tight smile on his lips.
"Can we please go now?" sighed Cal. Celia nodded beside him, ever the one to agree with her brother.
Cassian pulled himself up with a grunt and then Ezra, who took Andra's hand and held it tightly as if afraid she might disappear at any moment.
"Are you going to sing or yell at the fish?" asked the little girl as they crossed the street.
"What?" asked her brother laughing.
"Do you sing like me or yell with mom?" she demanded without giving any context yet again.
Ezra shifted his gaze to his father and Cassian looked as confused as he was, so he looked at his mom, who was laughing under her breath.
"Mom?"
"I may have promised them that we would scream underwater to release some of the extra steam," she explained.
Cassian chuckled, shaking his head, "Sure, all normal."
Ezra shifted his attention to Andra, "I think I'll sing with you." he replied, smiling.
Eyes as light as his locked on his face and then a lighthearted laugh made its way between the two and Ezra couldn't help but laugh along with his sister, picking her up and spinning her around in the air.
Nesta counted her children one last time before getting into the car and when she got inside, she leaned her head back against the seat, sighing. Cassian mimicked her and then leaned toward her, Nesta turning just in time for their lips to collide.
A roar of disgust and embarrassed giggles erupted from the backseat, and Nesta thought she'd never heard such a beautiful sound while still smiling at her husband.
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I was thinking of posting this. I’m not finished with it yet but I wanted to see how many people would be interested.
based off ‘tis the damn season by taylor swift, of course.
The first time she sees him again it's during Christmas break. Nesta tries to not think about him. It’s inevitable she’ll end up seeing him, since her sister and his so-called brother are dating. It just doesn’t feel right in these circumstances. She remembers their break-up just like it was yesterday.
They were graduating. While Nesta was moving to New York to go to NYU, Cassian was staying in their hometown. They had a huge fight about god knows what. But before she could yell at him to leave, he had slammed the door to her house. And instead of answering his call, she let it go to voicemail. No matter how hard she tries, it seems Nesta still can’t get the look on his face out of her head as he watched her leave without much of a goodbye.
saw earlier someone requesting a fanfic for this tiktok challenge lol
warnings; some sexual language
word count: 800
Nesta was tired. Her tiny apartment was certainly not suited as a work space, she struggled to keep her papers and laptop neatly on her tiny breakfast table. It also did not help that her boyfriend was glued to her couch, headphones in and hands furiously working on his remote controller.
He sat there all day growling to strangers and yelling obscene things to his brothers over a silly game. All while ignoring her trying to work in the process. She didn’t know she’d regret buying him that stupid game because a pandemic would tie him to the thing for three weeks now.
“Cass.” Nesta said sternly, looking at the man boy hunched over his remote. He didn’t even move or respond, the noise of gunfire and explosions were louder than ever.
Nesta took a couple breathers before calling him again.
“Cassian.” She said louder, her voice reached his ears now through his thick headphones. When he looked over at her, he met a cold glare that sent shivers down his spine. Sheepishly he took his headphones off, embarrassed he didn’t hear her the first time.
“Sorry sweetheart, give me like five more minutes okay?” Before he could hear her reply he put the headphones back and focused his attention to that brain rotting screen.
She gaped at him and struggled not to march over there and throw the whole TV out the window. There was a sudden headache pounding in her head as she tried to focus on her laptop again.
Earlier this week Feyre sent a viral TikTok challenge. Elain laughed and teased about doing it herself. Nesta thought it was silly and didn’t even respond.
Come on Nesta, when was the last time Cassian looked away from that screen and given you proper quarantine time? Feyre texted when Nesta dismissed the video.
That’s none of your business. Nesta simply replied, shutting down the conversation.
But begrudgingly Nesta admitted Feyre was right. It’s been three weeks and Cassian has barely touched her since. He was always playing that stupid game.
She gritted her teeth as she marched towards the bathroom. Nesta pulled her shirt over her head and unclasped her bra, tugged down her pants and panties. She stood stark naked in front of her tiny bathroom mirror and grabbed a silk blue robe to tie around her.
She walked out coming from behind Cassian but he was still engrossed with his video game. He didn’t even notice she was standing directly behind him. Nesta rolled her eyes.
When he was in the middle of saying something to his buddies Nesta threw her robe at him. “What the...?” He shook off the robe and his headphones, confused for a wild second looking around until his eyes landed on Nesta’s pale naked figure.
“Oh sweetheart I...” His words were lost in his throat as he trailed his now glazed eyes down her neck and over the slope of her breasts, she knew they drove him crazy.
She walked towards him, biting the inside of her cheek from struggling not to grin at his dumb stricken face, regretting not recording this. Her hips swayed slightly as she strode her long legs towards him. Nesta bent over to where he was sitting, giving a good view of his favorite assets. His eyes were immediately drawn to them, a grin plastered across his face. She was so close his breath tickled her neck, his eyes darkened and hungry. Nesta resisted very strongly from dropping into his lap then and there.
But before he could run his tongue down her throat, she snatched her robe and his headphones. Startling him slightly from the swift and sharp movements.
“Sorry boys, Cassian has some dishes to wash.” She said into the mic a bit too sweetly before pulling the robe back on, tightly tying it around her waist and turning the TV off with the remote she hid behind her back.
Cassian threw his head back on the couch and groaned, “That was so cruel, Nes.” He threw her a glare but still took a once over at how the silk robe was thin enough not to leave much to the imagination. She scoffed and walked back towards her “work station” as he begrudgingly got off the couch towards the sink of dishes.
She smirked as her boyfriend hulked over the sink. But she didn’t mind the view from her workstation now. Nesta could ogle her boyfriend's back muscles and biceps flexing as he washed the dishes.
“Actually Cassian,” she said as her eyes moved down his back to her favorite asset, “if you finish quickly, I’ll let you see underneath this robe again.”
He looked back at her, his eyes had that same hunger from before as he drank in the sight of her crossing her legs.
“Wake up, Nesta!” The voice of her sister Elain rang loudly through her ears. It was too early for this. Nesta groggily awoke to see Elain’s wide eyes, excitement swirling in them. Outside, Nesta could hear the commotion of the priestess’ hall.
“What's going on?” Nesta asked, still tired from the sudden awakening.
Elain only smiled as she sat at the room’s vanity, combing her hair with a delicate wooden brush. The soft auburn curls smoothing out and gathering a healthy glow are the sunlight poured through the windows. “The emperor and his son are coming! Everyone’s excited to see if they’re looking for a bride.”
At this news, Nesta wanted to go back to bed. There's no way she wanted to do a ritual today, she had too many chores to do. They will pile up tomorrow if she was busy with a ritual all day. “How long will this take?”
Elain smiled sweetly at Nesta almost teasingly, “You’re saying you wouldn't want to be a bride to the future emperor?”
“Rome is a Republic, Eris isn’t guaranteed to be Emperor just because of who his father is.” Nesta began to lay back in bed and pull up her covers but they were swiftly yanked back by Elain who gave her a stern look, her facial features hardening. “Nesta you can’t run away from this forever, if anything you’ll be the first to…”
“Be sold off like a prized horse?” Feyre’s gentle voice came from the room’s entrance. She was already adorned in her flowing white robes.Her golden brown hair veiled and tied up tightly. She strode towards the foot of her bed, arms crossing and a slender eyebrow raised.
“Exactly baby sister.” Nesta said grimly as she peeled herself from bed and chucked on white robes. Feyre scoffed and sat on her bed as she watched Nesta begin to work her fingers through her hair. “This is our life now Nesta.” Feyre said quietly even Elain avoided Nesta’s gaze. “If the emperor offered his son’s hands to any of us, we would be set for life. Father’s debt..”
“Do not mention him.” Nesta seethed over her shoulder. Feyre’s lips tightened before she rose from the bed and helped her stick pins in her hair. “I’m sorry Nesta, but it would be a good thing. For us.”
Nesta sighed as Feyre helped her finish pinning her veil to her hair. “I know Feyre. I know.”
-
The temple’s fire blazed fiercely in the center of Vesta’s altar. Before the flame stood the High Priestess, her veil and dress, made of the finest silk, reflected the fiery hues. As Nesta entered the room she was wary of the way the High Priestess eyed her, giving her a vague smile from beneath her veil.
“Nesta, we were just waiting for you.” Her voice boomed through the altar. Next to her stood Eris, his vibrant red hair eerily similar to the flame before them and the Emperor himself, curiously studying Nesta. He smiled wickedly at her, eyeing her up and down. It made her stomach turn.
Beside her stood Feyre and Elain who were bowing to them. Feyre slightly nudged Nesta forward. “Yes, high priestess, I’ll serve you any way I can.” She bowed to her as well. When she rose the High Priestesses' grin widened. “You will maintain the fire during the ritual blessing.” Nesta swallowed but nodded and accepted.
All the priestesses circled around the flame, as Eris and his guards ventured towards the center. Nesta watched the flame flicker and spatter, a grand warmth flooding over her.
“Let us begin this blessing.” The High Priestess gestured towards a slaughtered goat as an offering. The animal fueled the fire, increasing its height as the room flooded with scorching heat. Eris stumbled back but Nesta stood her ground. This is when she felt the power of Vesta herself, let the flame flood through her pores, throughout her body, and fill her with eternal bliss.
“Our Goddess Vesta, may she give our young Eris a life of success, and blessings. May she watch over him in these coming days..” The high priestess began her chants raising her hands to the sky, the rest of the priestesses followed suit. Nesta maintained the fire steady for it to not sputter and flicker madly in various directions. She waved a fan to calm its wild directionality, almost in a trance, knowing where the fire would fluctuate.
“...May Eris maintain the peace of our Empire”
And then Nesta’s vision went white, blinding her momentarily. She stumbled back as visions filled her head. Blood curdling screams rang through her ears, crying out for help. She fell to her knees as her head flooding with images of slaughter, blood splattered, children falling to their deaths. A dark haired warrior broken and beaten on the temple’s steps. Their blood pooling in a golden cup from which Eris drank from.
“Nesta!” The High Priestess yelled through the dizziness as her vision began to clear. Nesta gasped as she felt the once blissful warmth in her veins boil her blood. It was burning her from the inside out, she wanted it out of her, she couldn’t handle it anymore. She cried out before the flame ruptured and Eris screamed. His guards shouted in pain, as they lunged for him. But that's when the whole world went dark for Nesta as she fell back.
Nesta gasped, sitting up quickly from her bed. Her whole body was shaking and she was drenched in sweat. A nightmare. No, it was a memory from that day.
She felt sick suddenly and got up to bathe herself of the sweat and memories.
-
When Cassian arrived at her room, her door was shut firmly. He tried to concentrate, keeping a uniform stance as he stood guard. But Rhys’ voice kept going through his head.
Do you have feelings for her?
No. He couldn’t. She’s a Vestal Virgin, a sacred priestess, she would never look at him as anything more than a foot soldier, a lowly bas-
You can’t possibly think that.
The weight of his armor suddenly felt uncomfortable around his shoulders. Cassian wanted to forget her words and forget that night in the moonlight, it would be easier this way. There should always be a barrier between them, she’s engaged… to the emperor’s son. These feelings, its infatuation. He’ll get over it, he has to.
“Optione?” A small voice called out. Cassian looked down to see a small boy in servant's clothing holding a plate of hot and steamy food. His eyes widened as he took in Cassian, his hands tightly clenched around the serving plate.
“You’re…. the Lord of Bloodshed. From the Germanic campaigns.” He breathed.
Cassian bristled, “How do you know that?”
“My brother served with you,” The boy said softly. Cassian tried to observe his features; light brown hair, pale skin, brown eyes. His brother could’ve been any one of the hundreds that flickered through those fields.
“He came back to tell everyone the killing field you plowed through.” Cassian shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t know the extent of what they told of him in the lands of the Empire. But he wouldn’t doubt it was anything short of a nightmare.
“That was a long time ago. The war is over now.” Cassian said harshly. This boy knew what he did in the fields, which is why he shook with fear before him now.
Suddenly the door opened and a scent of lilacs and roses hit him in the gut. “I was beginning to wonder if Helion would let me starve.” Cassian straightened as the priestess glided from behind him like a silky white shadow. The boy stepped away from Cassian all too quickly, and bowed towards her.
“I see Helion provided me with a splendid meal.” She grabbed the plate into her hands. “Thank you, you’re dismissed.” She said to the servant who obediently bowed and left, perhaps glad to be far away from Cassian.
As she went back to her room,Cassian could smell the richness of the mutton. His stomach involuntarily growled at the scent. She stopped in her tracks.
“Have you not eaten, optione?” Her voice was like a sliver around his ears.
“I will after my shift.” He said firmly.
She sighed as she observed his all too stiff stance. “Come in and eat.”
“I don’t think that's a good idea.”
She raised her eyebrows, “I’m not inviting you into my bed optione... I want you to eat so you don't pass out while trying to guard my door.”
“I'm fine, priestess. I've endured worse.” He had, but her stare was like a thousand swords twisting in his chest.
“Cassian.” She said exasperated. His jaw tightened, wishing his name out of her mouth wasn't so enticing, enchanting. “Please, just eat something. And then I’ll stop bothering you.”
He looked around the halls as if expecting someone watching them. He gave in, because he knew it was impossible not to… especially with her.
“Very well.”
-
They entered her room and he was drowning in her scent. The door to her private bath was slightly ajar. She must’ve taken her bath recently. He tried to not let his mind wander from that thought.
She set the food on a small table that overlooked a giant glass window. He could see the surrounding green hills of the mansio. The priestess gestured to a chair across from her. “Come. Eat.”
He walked cautiously towards her who was already cutting him a slice off her mutton, and shoved the plate towards him, her meal split even in half. When he hesitated to eat she spoke up, “I’m not that hungry anyway,” she muttered.
He grimaced, “You should eat.”
“I will eat after you.”
After taking a quick bite of the mutton he got up.“I’m done, I should go back to my post.”
“You barely ate anything.” Her glare stopped him.
Cassian sighed. “This is your food, priestess. I shouldn’t even be in here.”
The priestess ignored him. “Do you drink wine?” Cassian watched as she grabbed a nearby wine bottle.
“Not on duty.” This time his tone was firm, and the priestess only nodded. She poured a drink for herself. She took a sip, almost savoring it. “That boy… he called you the Lord of Bloodshed.” He stopped in his tracks.
“It’s not a title I’m proud of.” He muttered. Cassian looked up to see she stood in his pathway towards the door. Leaning against the wall, she balanced her wine in one hand. She looked up to him, taking him in as her eyes drifted over his form, over the armor he wore. Perhaps trying to look right through it.
“From what I heard, the field you left was stained blood red.” She whispered. He only closed his eyes, trying to keep out the shame, the guilt. He can picture every face of the life he took, every brother he lost along the way.
He was deep into these memories when suddenly he felt a hand on his wrist. Her small soft fingers ignited a fire underneath his skin, but it brought instant warmth to him.
“I’m sorry.” She swallowed. “I didn’t mean for that to bring you any...” She stopped briefly, “back in Rome, high officers would come to the altar and would want mind cleansing rituals.”
“Mind cleansing?”
“To heal the mind of painful… memories.”
Cassian swallowed trying to suppress the images that flooded his mind, “and do they work?”
Her fingers slipped from his wrist, too quickly for him. “The mind is a tricky place, even Vesta can’t heal such horrors.” She was standing so close to him now. “But I could arrange for my sisters to perform the same ritual… for you.”
For him. The air around him was thinning.
“The things I’ve done, Priestess. I don’t know if I really deserv-”
Her hand suddenly gripped his, almost sensing his rise in panic. “You’re a brave soldier.” She was firm in her tone. “From what I heard, the Lord of Bloodshed did everything he could to save his comrades. You should be proud of that.” She said gentler, her voice a soft melody to his ears.
“Would you do this for any legion soldier?”
“I’ve told you before, Cassian. You’re not like the rest.”
He looked up to her, her eyes reminded him of the ocean now, of the sea by his home calling to him. There was a tendril of hair that escaped from her tied crown hair, brushing her cheek lightly. Before he knew it, Cassian slid his fingers across her cheek and pushed it behind her ear. The movement was short, but it lasted forever.
She was looking up towards him now, her deep grey-blue eyes shone in the candlelight. He didn't even notice the sun went down, he wasn't aware of anything but her at the moment. Cassian trailed his fingers back over the sharp curve of her cheekbone to gently grasp her chin. Her lips full, slightly stained from the wine that gave them an even more luscious red tint.
“Nesta.” She breathed.
His heart started racing as he stared down at her, a blush rising over her carved features. “Is that your name?”
“Yes.”
“Nesta.” He whispered like it was a sacred prayer. Nesta’s eyes fluttered when he spoke her name, her lips parting. Now he couldn't resist closing the gap between them. His lips lightly brushed hers for an instance. A thousand lightning bolts shot through him but they extinguished when he heard shifting at her door.
The sharp knock made them quickly pull apart.
“Priestess?” It was Rhysand. Immediately he straightened up. He couldn’t let Rhysand see him like this in here, along with the Priestess, with Nesta.
He opened the door to find Rhysand standing there, ready for duty. “Rhysand. I was about to wake you for your shift.” His voice clearing, trying to stop his head from spinning. Rhysand only gave him raised eyebrows and tried to peer over his shoulders. What were you doing there? He silently asked.
“I thought it might be a good idea to do a final sweep of the room before I went to bed,” Nesta said in a clear tone. He didn't turn around, trying to recover from the fact that she lied for him.
Rhysand only nodded and stepped out of Cassian’s way for him to return to their room. But he wanted to see her one last time, he couldn't resist. Cassian did a bow towards Nesta, briefly catching her eyes before out the door.
Rhysand closed the door behind him. “I take it there’s no potential danger?” He asked skeptically.
“No, of course not.” Cassian replied probably too sharply.
Rhysand ignored his tone. “You’re gonna need a good rest before tomorrow Cassian.”
He sensed the uneasiness in Rhysand. “And why’s that?”
Rhysand looked around and lowered his voice. “There's... some reports of thieves on the roads we will be taking tomorrow. I’m sure in the worst case scenario, we could take care of it. But you'll be upfront so I want extra attentiveness.”
“Thieves? I thought the roads we took are only taken by senators?” Cassian knew how private and secluded the roads were, few knew they even existed.
“There may have been a leak somewhere or maybe they got lucky and stumbled upon them. I don’t know, but we need to be on guard tomorrow. And focused on what our duties are.” He enunciated the last part. Cassian only nodded but he can still feel the softness of her skin underneath his fingers. You’re not like the rest.
“Cassian.” Rhysand said, pulling Cassian out of his own head.
“No, you’re right Rhysand. I promise I’ll be focused.”
He climbed on top of the rubble of the stone tower. The stench of fire and ashes flooded his nose. And in the distance, he could hear the loud thuds of the creature so dangerously close. Unsheathing his sword, Cassian walked further into the rubble, carefully treading through the conglomerates of rocks and ashes. The sky above was not visible underneath all the heavy smoke.
Then the creature screeched and roared. Past another archway, Cassian saw the dragon with a horrifying height that trumped the largest fortresses in all the kingdoms. Through the rare glimpses of sunlight of the shattered stained glass windows, he could see the maroon scales. The tail created gusts of winds as it slashed back and forth. The dragon's claws were hellish black and could easily rip him in two.
But beyond the creature, Cassian could see untouched glimmering steps leading up to a door left unscathed.
Legends only talked of the beauty that lies beyond that door. A princess locked in a tower after she was captured by the evil Maeve who slaughtered her parents, the King and Queen. After that, the kingdom of Velaris was left in a power grab chaos before her sister Elain became of age.
The tower loomed above treacherous heights and steep cliffs and was guarded by the foul dragon. Storytellers over the years swore only her true love would rescue her. Many died along the path here and if anyone got to this point, they never lived to tell.
Cassian gripped the pommel of his sword before descending into the tower carefully. However, even in his years of stealth training as a Knight, it was no match to the dragon's sensitive hearing.
Suddenly he was face to face with large brown eyes, blinking slowly to try and register what it was seeing. Cassian felt a tremor run through him as the dragon's smile spread across its face. It was like he was staring down death. Before the dragon could exhale a fury of fire he leaped. He made sure to be quick on his feet. The inferno would’ve burned him to a crisp had he not moved. The dragon roared as its eyes snapped towards him again, eyes narrowing finally finding him. He needed to find the creature's weak spot. Many have said a driven sword between the eyes would do the trick. An inhale and Cassian surged forward. He nearly avoided the subsequent flames as he climbed on top of the creature. Using its scales to climb along its spine. The creature lurched sideways trying to shake him off, but Cassian held on. He was knocked off his feet, one hand clutching the dragon's scales while the other held on to his sword. The roaring of the creature was almost deafening as Cassian got up, trying to maintain balance on top of the unnerved dragon. As he neared the creature's head and drew out his sword, a voice yelled out.
“HEY! STOP!”
Both the dragon and Cassian froze and looked up to see a small woman at the base of the stairwell. She pulled back her cloak to reveal golden brown hair, sharp cheekbones, and blue eyes he swore gave a lightning-like glint. He was dumbfounded, she was gorgeous, gods, devastating.
“Princess?” He whispered. But the moment was shattered when the dragon shook him off and bounded towards the woman. Cassian was thrown down its spine and tumbled towards the cold hard ground. Scrambling to his feet and realizing he lost his sword on the fall down, he watched helplessly as the dragon pounced for the woman. “No!” He shouted as he ran full speed.
But confusion went through him as he heard the woman laugh as the creature plopped in front of her and gave a sound like coo.
“I know I just woke up too, Sphynx.” The woman said as she petted the dragon.
When he approached them, they both snapped their heads towards him. Even though a 50,000lb dragon was glaring at him it was the woman’s stare that held him in place.
She sighed as she stepped around the dragon towards him, her cloak flowing around her. In front of him, she rested her hands on her hips.
“Let me guess, you’re here to save me?” She gestured to the dragon who laid its enormous head beside her, eyes closed, almost drifting to sleep.
“Uh... yes.”
“And perhaps see if you are my one true love, isn’t that’s what Maeve told my parents… ridiculous.” She scoffed.
“Well not exactly, obviously your safety is the priority but I’ve been told I’m pretty charming,” He threw her a smug smile, the dragon only huffed as if mocking him. When she only started he cleared his throat and continued, “But I was under orders of my Queen to find and rescue you.”
She studied his uniform through the dim light until her eyes fell onto the crest on his armor. “You’re from Velaris…” and then looked to the ranking marks across his chest plate “a knight.”
He bowed, “At your service, Princess.”
She shook her head, “I haven’t been a princess in over ten years. Turn back now.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that. Queen Elain gave me strict orders to come with you in tow.“
“Elain? She’s queen now?” Her voice softened and a small smile tugged her lips upwards.
“Once she took reign, she never stopped looking for you, Princess.”
She sat at the base of her steps, gently putting a hand on top of Sphynx, who no doubt was sleeping by now. “I don’t want to leave.”
He bristled, “Princess you can’t stay here.”
“What I meant is that I can’t go back to Velaris.” She looked at the sword in his hands. “If Maeve found out I left… she promised to bring devastation to the people, my people. I won’t let that happen.”
“Then we destroy Maeve.” He said firmly.
She only narrowed her eyes, “Impossible. She’s thousands of years old equipped with dark magic.”
Cassian only shook his head, “She only keeps you here because she’s afraid of you. The ancient prophets foretold her death would be of your hands”
She looked away, “My powers have diminished over these last ten years, she’s made sure of it.” The princess gestured towards a shimmering obsidian choker around her neck. “It’s been draining me of power since my capture.”
His jaw tightened as he observed the choker that was a stark contrast to her beautiful slender neck.
“Then we break it.” He whispered in an almost deadly tone.
She threw him another glare “Do you not know the meaning of impossible? Sir…?”
“Cassian.” He finished for her.
“Sir Cassian. Look I appreciate your efforts. But I can’t leave.”
He bent to where she sat, the dragon awake and watching him carefully. “I can feel your power Princess, it's almost overwhelming. This piece of glass,” he briefly touched the choker, “is on the edge of shattering.” Cassian sighed as she looked over his shoulder, expertly not meeting his gaze. “If not, Maeve will have control of your people out of fear.”
In her eyes, Cassian could see a storm brewing within her sharp blue eyes. Her demeanor began to change. She stood and straightened her posture, shoulders pushed back. Sphinx arose with her too, now fully awake and claws outstretching. For a moment Cassian thought he overstepped his boundaries and now his life would end here. However, the princess reached for her choker, gripping the material.
“Perhaps you’re right.”
Her hands dug into the small space between her neck and the glass object. They wrapped tightly around it, turning white as she gripped harder. Cassian could see the streaks of light escaping throughout the black obsidian. He stumbled back as the choker was breaking, shattering and along with it an outburst of enormous power. A blinding white light lit the tower towards the heavens as the obsidian choker shattered loudly, it’s pieces absorbed in the light.
He fell to his knees as the power overcame him, hands covering his eyes at the blinding light. But when it diminished he looked up to see the princess, unscathed and almost glowing.
She walked towards him and held out a slender hand. When he grabbed for it, a sudden bolt of energy went through him. He rose on shaky knees before her.
“You’re brave and courageous Sir Cassian. I can see why my sister sent you here.” Her voice rang through his head almost like a song. “I’ll need you if I’m ever to defeat Maeve.”
His grin widened and bowed. “I’ll do anything for you Princess, and the people of Velaris.
“Another thing, let’s drop the Princess title. Call me Nesta.”
“Yes, uh Nesta.” He never addressed a royal without their title, but somehow this felt right.
But nothing could prepare him from when Nesta grabbed the back of his neck and crashed his lips on hers. Cassian froze but then melted from the softness of her lips. The power that flowed through her was irresistible, he couldn’t let her go. Instinctively he grabbed her hips to pull her closer. She gasped when he swept his tongue over her bottom lip, her hands beginning to dig into his hair, making him groan against her lips.
Sphynx grunted loudly, startling Nesta. Her hands immediately left his hair and slightly pushed his shoulders. He stumbled back, cheeks burning. She bit her lip, a movement he followed with his eyes. “I wanted to test out the true love theory.”
Cassian laughed, brushing his fingers to his lips. “Well? Am I your one true love?” He said this jokingly, but a shred of him hoped her heart was his. As if she didn't have his already.
“Sphynx has to like you too.” She said firmly. Cassian only gave a wary glance to the creature, its claws unfurling once again as it showed him its sharp giant teeth. “He’ll get used to me. As I said, I’m pretty charming.”
Nesta narrowed her eyes but couldn’t stop a small smile from spreading across her face. She climbed on top of Sphinx and held out a hand for him. He raised his eyebrows as he let her yank him up, plopping behind her.
“You’re gonna wanna hold on Sir Cassian.” She grabbed his hands and landed them on her hips. He eagerly gripped her hips, as she threw a smirk over her shoulder. “Please don’t hurl on me.” Before he could retort, Sphinx began to flap its enormous wings and lift from the ground. Cassian became alarmingly aware of how far from the ground his feet were as they ascended.
“Alright Sphynx, time to get out here once and for all.” And they took off through the smoke and into the skies.