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[vikingswiftie]

You Were Always There

You are company without being present.

You heal wounds with an angel’s voice.

You reach places no one ever reached,

you are the light that shines into the unexplored.

You mend with melodies, you cure with songs,

a guide in the storm, water in the desert,

like a harbor after days at sea,

like the first flower after a frozen winter.

You are every heartbeat racing,

every breath drawn deeper,

every ray of sun in the middle of the rain,

like moonlight slipping into the night.

I am fortunate to have heard you.

You helped me discover things

no one ever taught me.

I felt loved in a world

that only offered indifference,

pain, disrespect, and loneliness.

But you were always there.

And for that,

you deserve everything good.

—R

[vikingswiftie]

The hardest war is not against the gods nor against the world, but against oneself

The Encounter with My Shadow

Days and weeks went by,

the drakkar drifted aimlessly.

There was no course,

the destination had disappeared.

I reached a strange, rocky isle.

I disembarked, tied the drakkar,

and chose to explore.

In a clearing deep in the forest,

all was silence:

no soul, no beast.

The full moon shone above

with an otherworldly light,

illuminating the broken viking.

Before me appeared a shadow.

It bore my shape, my features,

but with a different gaze.

It unsheathed its axe,

and stared into me:

“Viking, you betrayed tradition,

forsook Valhalla

for someone who doesn’t even know you exist.

You lost the North, you lost the drakkar,

and still you cling to your light.

Let’s end this.”

I looked at my dark self,

with calm and with fear,

and answered:

“I betrayed no one,

least of all myself.

She does not know who I am,

but I know what I feel.

That will not turn me to darkness.

I will always carry her within me.

Do not try to master me,

for I am light—

I will never be you.”

The shadow lunged at me…

and then I saw her.

She shone beside the moon,

and I understood:

my light will always triumph

over my darkness.

With one strike of the shield

I scattered the shadows.

I sat beneath a tree,

and thought of her.

Always the same light.

-R

[vikingswiftie]

Exile Between Two Worlds

I don’t know you,

I see your life in photos,

and yet I carry you with me

as if you had always been here.

Every blow, every betrayal, every humiliation,

there you were, healing without knowing.

You are like a star: bright and untouchable,

and still my heart beats to your name.

You are like a rose, beautiful and wounding.

You are salt to the wound,

and sugar to keep me standing.

You are the breach that tears me open,

and the hand that stitches me whole.

Not having you near hurts,

but hearing you calms me.

What am I to do,

a poor Norseman sailing uncertain seas?

I should have surrendered long ago,

but the soul does not obey reason.

It only follows what brings it peace,

the soft breeze that keeps me alive.

The world has treated me

as if I did not belong to it.

I live in exile between two worlds:

too earthly to be with the gods,

too divine to belong with my own.

So I walk a solitary path,

following what the compass dictates.

So much pain, so much endurance…

it must end in something good.

I am a warrior wounded a thousand ways,

lifted from the mud a thousand and one times.

And still I stand.

-R

[vikingswiftie]

I Am a Man

I am a man,

and I am not always strong.

I am a warrior,

and I need to see you.

I cry sometimes.

I am tall, bearded, strong,

and still, at times, I feel small,

vulnerable,

lost.

I am not always standing,

axe in hand,

shield on my chest.

I also need to be held,

kissed,

loved,

supported.

I don’t only listen to rock.

I also listen to Taylor Swift,

Ariana Grande,

Miley Cyrus.

I am a man, yes.

And sometimes, I am a child.

Because no matter how strong I am,

I am not invincible.

And if I have to stop

so I don’t fall,

I stop.

I rest.

I breathe.

And then I move forward again.

Because “men don’t cry”

is just that —

a cliché.

[vikingswiftie]

Why

Why do you stay in my mind

if we cannot be together?

Why do you arrive with the wind

when I thought I had finally forgotten?

Why do you return to my life

when I believed I was already lost?

Why does your memory still burn

if I haven’t seen you in so long?

You appear when I don’t expect you,

and disappear when I need you most.

I feel like you are never here,

and yet you stay with me.

Why don’t you leave completely?

Why do you always come back

knowing what I feel?

That I care for you.

That I never hurt you.

That even if you don’t choose me,

I don’t complain,

I don’t make a scene.

Why do you keep appearing

when what we both need

is not for you to come and go,

not to be here just for a moment—

but to stay.

To stay with me,

talking,

or simply sharing warmth,

looking at the sky.

If this were not destiny,

you wouldn’t have returned

[vikingswiftie]

You

I feel you like poetry,

like the wind brushing past without touching.

A slow song,

soft music.

The first flower of spring

after a frozen winter.

Muse of my words,

morning sun,

night star,

warmth before dawn.

You exist and you heal me

when life feels heavy.

And even when you’re not close,

you ease my sadness.

You are love,

pure and delicate,

like a nightingale’s song,

like a summer breeze.

A garden full of flowers,

with fireflies in the dark.

You are passion, light, and tenderness.

-R

[vikingswiftie]

Without Armor

New year.

Not a new me.

The same one,

just more tired.

With scars that don’t show off,

that aren’t displayed,

that ache when it’s cold

and when no one is watching.

My heart keeps beating,

not out of bravery,

but out of habit.

Life is in pieces,

and I walk over them barefoot,

trying not to bleed too much.

I got used to being alone.

Not because I wanted to,

but because it was what remained.

No hugs.

No “I’m here.”

No you.

Sometimes I don’t want to go on,

and yet I do.

Not out of hope,

but because giving up is exhausting too.

The ice surrounds me.

It doesn’t scream.

It doesn’t threaten.

It just waits.

The seas don’t roar,

they simply push,

again and again,

to see if this time I sink.

Every fall leaves a mark.

Not heroic tattoos,

but cracks.

And if one day I break,

it won’t be from lack of fighting.

It will be from wear.

Today, tears fall on frozen ground.

I don’t know if tomorrow there will be flowers.

But if there are,

let it be because someone chose to stay.

-R

[vikingswiftie]

I love you, but…

I love you.

Not like someone who needs,

but like someone who understands.

I love you,

but I don’t want to drag you into my chaos,

into my long nights,

my heavy silences,

my days when breathing feels hard.

I don’t want you to carry my ruins,

or mistake love for endurance,

or stay out of pity.

I love you,

and that’s why I step back,

before you feel the need to save me.

Because right now, I am a storm,

and you deserve calm.

I am winter,

and I don’t want you to learn the cold with me.

I love you enough

not to ask you to stay,

when I still don’t know how to care for you the way you deserve.

If one day I bring order to this chaos,

if one day the noise fades,

if one day I can offer a home instead of a refuge…

then yes,

I will love you without fear.