A-Z Of Lagos Living (Part II)
A – Z of how to conduct yourself in Lagos. Part two...(N-Z)
Naive: Every lunch has a reasoning behind it, every day has it’s payback method! The nice young man you meet may already be married with two kids! Shock, horror, surprise! And this is vice versa for men. Everyone’s eyes are opened to the fictitiousness of the city. DO NOT be naive!
Original: Stand away from the crowd. If everyone is wearing the latest label, going to the seemingly best clubs, and eating the best food; which by the way have no idea what it’s made off in order to fit into the ‘Lagos’ mould. Then step back, and be original. Look around you and see how many people look and dress alike for starters. If you could be mistaken as a clone, then re-think and re-brand.
Punctual: Just because everyone in your life decides to take no notice of time, that doesn’t mean you should follow suit. You ask someone the time, and their response would be ‘past one’. Yeah, but how much time exactly past one? Is it one past one, fifteen past one or what? If it’s not past, then it’s to two. There’s obviously a clear difference between five minutes to two, and twenty-nine minutes to two
Qualified: Trust is a big issue in Lagos, or lack of it! So to harness back the trust in Lagosians’; you need to be trustworthy in your field of choice. And the best way to elicit trust is by being qualified. Take your craft seriously. If you an accountant – have as many qualifications as possible. Not only the mandatory qualifications, but go one further. Lagosians love ‘a piece of certificate’
Resilient: You will hear a lot of things you’re not expected to listen to. Anyone older than you can speak to you in any manner they see fit. The store assistant does not have to be polite to you. In fact because Lagosians can behave as badly as they deem fit. But you have to keep your head up. Let it run off like water off a duck’s back. Don’t sweat the little things.
Sociable: Being sociable does not mean you will attend every event in Lagos, parading in front of the media. It means choosing your event carefully. Ensure the activities you choose fit into you branding. If you are an artsy person, then focus more on events that offer fun, entertainment & art.
Thermophobia: As the saying goes; if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!
Urophobia: Do not urinate outside, it’s very tacky and makes the places smell as bad as an alcoholics den. You probably have just left a housing, restaurant or from a premises that has (not so perfectly clean) toilets.
Verminphobia: Those afraid of a little bit of germ here and there need not apply for a visa. The city is full of open gutters, heap-up trash and so much pollution that you’ll be scared to get an x-ray on your skin.
Well-documented: There’s nothing like a ‘gentleman’s hand-shake’! Get everything documented, from buying a car from your uncle to renting form your sister-in-law. Get everything written and co-signed. Over-night friends become foes; family become enemies. Keep business to one-side and be prepared for any unseen situations
Xenophobic: Lagosians love to meet new people. So be open, sociable and explore the city with new friends made. DO NOT be xenophobic.
Youthfulness: May not be an advantage, in fact it’s a serious handicap. If you are fortunate enough to look young for your age, don’t tell people your real age! The younger they think you are, the less they respect factor! If you are of a small frame, dress up to look less petite. Fill the room, and make your presence count.
Zoophobia: It’s probably better if you are not an animal lover, as the city is not really geared towards taking your canine friends for brisk walks. There are drains everywhere, gutters and so forth that your young pup may not stand a chance!