NEXOCEMBER #2 NEXO POWER
once again, barely in time😔😔 but i did it!!
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NEXOCEMBER #2 NEXO POWER
once again, barely in time😔😔 but i did it!!
unshaded version below
Nexocember Day 2 - Nexo Power
So this was going to be a bit more focused on the Nexo Power but... whoops. I had fun with the idea that anything the result of Nexo Power won't always fade quickly and they have real consequences. Axl is also very hard to write istg
Not beta'd, no warnings (1093 words)
I don't know what to write here. Just... yeah. I'm an idiot.
NEXOCEMBER 2023 DRABBLE - DAY O3 : MONSTERS
Welcome back to my NEXOCEMBER attempt, yeah. So about monster... I think about Grey Knight because that really interest me. I maybe had some misunderstanding for Grey Knight, but I swear it's because of my slow brain responses. I'll try to getting it as close as canon with my understanding. But I tell you this is not about a real monster, but... Other type of it. (SPOILER : It's your own mind and life, wooo yeahhh)
And IDC if you saw word human for this story, because think that as anthromorphing bla bla.
Like usual, English is not my main, not beta read. Set after Season 4 but have some flashbacks during S1 - S3 because I want to. But this time I gave some warning because this is quite dark story and have questionable contents. READ THE END NOTES TO UNDERSTAND WHY I MAKE THIS.
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TW // Suicidal-ish Thoughts, Depression Interpretation
If you feel one of that, please contact a professional help, because your life is precious. ^^
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⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
CW or TW (?) // FAKE WEAPON, FAKE BLOOD, FAKE ALL
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
Clay Moorington was human, according to his appearance. Hair, face, body, arms, legs, that's human had. Clay was determined, selfless, desired for honor and justice, would sacrifice just to help everyone in need, smart, hardworking, and destined to be a leader. He's definited as perfect type of human, he's almost flawless, in both appearance and mannerism according to almost Knighton people who knew him. But according to Clay himself, he didn't know at all. If he's a human or a living monster.
At first he thought himself like that, he's a human, had dreams to be the knight to protect Knighton, he had role into that and played that desperately. But according to time, it just like... Confusing. He had human appearance, but he acted like a robot (or puppet ?) sometimes--repetitive, monotone, and endless. But it's okay, he just did that, he didn't mind, if that was the best choice.
But the more he did, the more confusing Clay thought about himself. His mind sometimes were poisoned with some negative thoughts like a fringed iris flower, ate him whole, and sometimes a force in his mind begged him to stop eating his dreams.
Clay felt like fighting lava monsters or stone monsters was quite nothing than the monsters in his mind, non-existent yet really controlled him. He didn't know why but that's... Awful.
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After he turned into stone, Clay couldn't feel anything. Only stabbing coldness, and the noise of the voices in the city just echoes within his head. He sometimes ask the gaps in-between his 'dreams' that where should he go now, it seems like there's no prospect of recovery anymore.
After being alive again but as living statue that struck by Monstrox' thunder, his mind is hazy, only remembered that 'He must obey Monstrox' order and purge the one who defy him' like that. Just like a puppet in a damn theatre, controlled to be used for someone's benefit.
Sometimes he can heard voices that sounded like him sobbing, that Clay Moorington was there and begged to be noticed out. But nobody could hear or even understand that. Like his mind was falling deeper and became the gloomy water of the big ocean.
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When he finally regained some conciousness, he felt endless throb in his head, his soul was like everyone's -- in the bitter suffering. He felt less human anymore, even stated himself -- a human named Clay Moorington was no more, only a monstrous living statue named Grey Knight. That conclude something -- he fell deeper into despair and anger, he was no longer belong to Knighton anymore.
After he regained his human form and realised he had magic power, everyone could say that Clay was glad that he's back to his usual. But reality said the opposite, that's the irony. As each day passed, whenever Clay saw himself in the mirror, he asked himself that was he ugly and fear really vanquished into his spine.
When everyone asked 'How are you? How it is going?' or 'Oi you, how are things?' like that, Clay just smiled politely and said he was fine, just for people did not ask anything about him anymore.
Ah, he just want to turned back like before, to be himself. He mumbled, "I want to be alive," but in his mind said that he didn't want to be alive anymore, but whatever it was he really just... Lived like that, written in a Bible that named DNA. He's tired of salvating because he didn't believe in salvation anymore.
As time goes, he surrendered and blamed that was truly his fault. He had enough but he had no courage to run away. That's typical type of story.
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What the worst is, every aspect in Clay's inside was not human. He once had a stone heart, and he wanted to disinfect it in alcohol to sleep. If the world is a damn theatre, then he must have a role even to fulfill his emptiness of his heart. Each breathing felt like the air grabbed his throat every night.
When he found out that he's part of the wizardy and was the son of Ruina Stoneheart -- the witch that he hated so much, it suffocated him more, reality caved in his lungs. He felt like monsters, the ghost that behaves like a human from wanting a smile. He felt empty and hard to breathe each day passed by.
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He felt sorry for deceiving everyone -- Macy, Lance, Axl, Aaron, Merlok, Ava, Robin, and many more, that he couldn't live up properly according to everyone's expectations because of course, he didn't know how to fight properly. Also he also felt sorry for not telling them, that's kinda sad. But suffering was the bond for his life. He was eaten by his own wrath and he asked himself, why it still hurts, everything.
If this was the price that he must pay, why Clay felt that was too much cruelty for him. His mind screamed, to gave him name to called by because he didn't know anymore if he was Clay Moorington or Grey Knight anymore.
After all he just wanted a future, to end his self-made theatre and one day, he could open his eyes and found the light that sure exist in 25:00 someday. He just wanted to let it end quickly and live in that moment that happened now, that's all.
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Do you know that I got inspirations by PROJECT SEKAI commisioned songs? Samsa (ZAMUZA) by Teniwoha, NOMAD by Keina Suda, Theatre (ENGEKI) by Nanou. Also a VOCALOID song like GEHENNA by Wotaku. IDK why, but yeah, I recommend you to listen them and find what the song talked about.
I just want to say that monsters not only from physical, but monsters can exist in our mind, and ironically, that happens to me. Sorry, but from this, do you think I need therapy? Reason why I used Clay here because when I saw Clay's progress for each series, I started to question myself, how's Clay mental state actually? Like how he looked stable and what the hell happened when he was struck by Monstrox and turned into Grey Knight etc. And wooo... Why I put my depression there?!
(And also, Clay is my fav in NK and I like to torture my fav into suffering if I make any fic so sorry)
Anyway, feedback always welcomed because I wanna know how it was. (Because I know this is absurd OMG)
NEXOCEMBER PROMPT 1: ROYAL
got a lot of stuff to do and barely finished this drawing in time which is really embarrassing because i’m a host
⚠️| Nexocember 20.12 (ok?)
FINALLY, I FINISHED THIS ART! I can describe all this in two words: holy drug addiction. And the quality of the art is crap. I tried to somehow improve the appearance of my creation, but... you can see the result on the screen.
Help... We are losing Jestro...
(and sorry that I’m only publishing the art now. I forgot about the existence of Tumblr)
NEXOCEMBER PROMPT #4: TECH
something a little lazier for this prompt hehe
literally got bombed with things to do, but now i’m catching up with nexocember
a little traditional doodle of clay for cold