ANYTHING but finishing a humans touch lwk
nightmare sans (utmv) x randy jade (dialtown)
no real romance but like. There’s tension. They def fucked after this
Randy Jades life had, and (in his opinion) always would, suck ass.
From the rough catholic upbringing, to living in a dumpster and working at a phone sex hotline, Randy genuinely didn’t think he had ever had a good day in the entirety of his sad, pathetic life.
Which brought him here, of course. He had just got off the phone with a particularly… unpleasant customer, who had called him “sweetcheeks” and gone into an unnecessary amount of detail about what he wanted to do to randy. And then jerked off over the phone.
He had puked the second the call ended, which could be a result of the definitely expired milk he had drank that day, and was now sitting in his own vomit, sobbing into his arms.
He really was worthless. He should just kill himself (it was the best option for everyone involved, really.)
God his head hurt. As if getting his head bashed in and having “fuckface” written on it wasn’t enough, he was also subjected to near constant migraines that ranged from a mild inconvenience, to completely debilitating.
If he killed himself, how the hell would he even do it? Its not like he had access to a gun, or a high enough place to hang himself from. Maybe he could go into the woods outside of town and see if he could get the hermit out there to shoot him.
Fuck he was pathetic.
He was startled out of his self loathing spiral by someone banging on the dumpster from outside, a sound that rang through his head like a gong and made him flinch. He lifted the lid, slowly, to see… what the fuck.
A skeleton was standing outside of his dumpster. A skeleton with the skull of a flesh-head. A skeleton absolutely covered in some dark, dripping liquid that covered one eye and formed into tentacles on his back. He was wearing a hoodie and basketball shorts, and he stared at randy with a lazy grin.
“Huh. You look just about as pathetic as i expected.”
Randy feels his plastic warm with shame, suddenly very aware of the vomit coating his pants, the bandages on his hands, the bruises covering every visible inch of skin. Even in the presence of something so completely foreign to him, he feels embarrassed, “ha- y-yeah. I’m- im sorry.”
He doesn’t know why he’s apologizing to this thing, but there’s a pure power that radiates off the skeleton, that makes him want to get on his knees and bow. Maybe that’s why, when the man(?) beckons him with one finger, he stumbles over himself to pull his lanky body out of the trashcan, falling into the ground in the process. He quickly straightens upright, and nearly tumbles over again, because the skeleton is suddenly right in front of him.
The tendrils that emerge from his back quickly wrap around Randy, holding him still, flush against this unknown man.
Then he sniffs him. The skeleton is far shorter than randy, so he pushes himself onto his tip toes and shoves his nasal cavity into the side of Randys neck. He yelps, and tries to push the man off of him, to no avail. Despite his small, skeletal frame, he’s far stronger than Randy, and ignores the man’s attempts to flee.
“Wh- what the hell are you doing? Please don’t hurt me- i- i’ll give you all the money i have!” It’s terrifying, as he feels the warm little puff of air as the skeleton laughs, quietly, against his neck, “I don’t want your money. But tell me, miserable little man, what’s your name?”
Randy almost answers before the other has finished speaking, stumbling over his words in the process, “Ran- Randy Jade.”
The skeleton releases him, taking a step back as his tentacles retreat to gently sway behind him, and Randy lets out a terrified breath.
“You can call me Nightmare.” He says, his voice low as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, “you don’t have many friends, do you Randy?”
The nokia shakes his head, self loathing flooding him, and he doesn’t notice Nightmares grin tighten with restraint. God, hes so stupid, someone who doesn’t even know him can tell he’s a friendless loser just by smelling him, he’s not even surprised anymore.
Nightmare lets out an impatient sigh, and Randy snaps back to attention, “listen, randy. I am a god.”
Randy tilts his head, “what like- god? I’ve met god, and he’s a dog who eats trash- no offense.”
Blinking, Nightmare stares at him, “what? No i- i’m a god from another dimension. The god of negativity.”
He pauses, as if for dramatic effect, and Randy just stands stock still and silent. Nightmare sighs, “i feed off of the negativity of others. And you radiate a negativity more powerful than anything else i’ve ever tasted.”
Well thats… disheartening, although the hungry way Nightmare is looking at him lights a fire in his loins.
“Okay uh- th- thank you? I think?” He stutters over his words, and nightmare rolls his eyes, “sure. You hate your life here, don’t you?”
Well, thats putting it bluntly. Randy doesn’t hate everything about his life! He likes… oliver? He doesn’t really talk to him though. Maybe Jerry? Although, who is he really kidding, they’re not friends.
He sighs, “yeah. I do.”
Nightmares smile turns sharp, “what if i told you i could take you away from here? I could… give you a purpose?”
Randy sucked in a hesitant breath, unwilling to believe Nightmares words, yet unable to dismiss them. The skeleton steps forward, outstretching his hand, “i can show you wonders beyond your feeble minds can comprehend. In exchange, i simply get to feast upon your negativity.”
The nokia hesitated, hands shaking. The skeleton was ethereal and other and beautiful. What did randy really have to lose?
He took Nightmares hand, and the skeleton pulled his body flush to him, with a chuckle.
“Perfect.”


















