#nihilisthedonism

[firedesired-blog]

"Ah, I'm so glad you're here! Just the person I'm looking for. Will you do me the honors of lending me your assistance and caramelizing this batch of brulee? I've tried using the oven broiler to do it, but nothing quite beats your torch I'd have to say." - nihilisthedonism

The torch is already fired up and ready at the mere mention of caramelizing. “ Ari ! You’re the best man , the freakin’ best ! ” What a cool dude ! “ I’ve got your back , it’s gonna be great ! I won’t let you down ! ” It’s enough to bring some tears to his eyes. Oh beautiful flames , that wonderful crispy golden - brown covering the surface of the brulee , and that scent of hardening sugar . 

“ Oh man , Ari that reminds me. ” He takes a deep breath , steadying himself . No need to cry all over the guy who so generously brought him something torch.  “ I found some odd stuff in my basement again ! You wanna take a look at it before it goes in the incinerator ? I dunno what it is , but it looked like something you’d be interested in. ”

[firedesired-blog]

❛i want to be loved, it aches within my ribs.❜ - nihilisthedonism (OUGH I HAD TO)

@nihilistichedonism

There’s something here he isn’t getting which isn’t a new feeling exactly , but with people everything’s always been straightforward in his head. ( At least when compared to words and numbers. ) It’s okay though , he doesn’t have to be the smartest or the best , he’ll get where he needs to go eventually. He thinks Ari will too , even though he doesn’t always understand where Ari is heading. 

He tilts his head , questioning , pondering his words. He accepts that he isn’t going to understand what Ari means , at least not today. 

“ —but I love you ? ”

[firedesired-blog]

As he does dutifully almost every week, he's here to pick up more pastries and croissants. But he won't go without talking to his favorite boy of course! "You're always working hard whenever I come by. You should be proud of yourself for that." He smiles affectionately, brown bag hugged to his midriff. "Thank you for your hard work. You ought to stop by sometime for tea." - nihilisthedonism

Is it that time already ? Today sure has been busy ! He hears Ari , his appearance marking the change of the hour, but the problem is he doesn’t see the guy ! Spin once ! Twice ! Aha ! There he is ! He’s still carrying a tray , but he tosses it aside immediately exchanging it for a square box topped off with a neat little blue bow. “ Aw , man you always say the nicest things ! I guess I have been working pretty hard ! You know what ? I am proud !”  He puffs up with pride , a big grin on his face.

“ I have something extra for you this week ! I was thinking about all your cool shape cutters and I ended up making this doughnut ! Let me show you ! ” He runs behind one of the counters , picking up a human-shaped doughnut. “ Watch ! Watch !” and he squeezes it , making a dramatic BLERGH noise as strawberry jam oozes out of the eyes and mouth “ I put like four of these guys in that box , and a couple other things. How about next week I close up a little early and I’ll take you up on that offer for tea ! You can tell me how the new stuff tastes too ! ”

[eyegougd]

"Ah Kage-kun, you wound me with how cold you are... I only wish you look at me fondly with those beautiful eyes of yours, and smile. Do you truly despise me that much? You truly are a rose with such thick thorns." - nihilisthedonism

               “     uwah,     ISHIDA - san,     you’re   persistant.     ”

               A   WRY   SMILE     ———     oh,     fret   not,     young   man;     they   all   grow   weary   eventually     (     this   feeling   is   an   old   friend   of   his     ).     his   weight   shifts   from   one   side   to   the   other,     peering   up   at   the   friend    stranger    associate   with   those   damn   doe   eyes.     “     are   you   sure   you’re   chasin’   what   you   truly   want   ?     ”

               he   believes   that   his   intentions   are   PURE    (     he’s   saving   him.     he’s   being   more   than   generous     ).     are   cold   words   and   empty   grins   not   enough     ?     how   deluded.     he   almost   pities   him.

               “     i’m   curious,     though.     how   would   you   react   if   i   say   that   i   do   despise   you.     ”

@nihilisthedonism