Guess what? I drove with Chris' help to a park. We got my phone/car ready for audio and then I drove back there alone! 😱🙌 When Chris saw me, he said "Just for the park?" And I said yes because I'm doing this for me and because no one would be there (and no one was).
The sound of the swing and Laibach's early industrial work in the otherwise silent dark night was… an experience. 🌌 It was also quite a feeling because I was wearing my Laibach shirt, a red skort, and my black glitter boots! I also did my hair with small buns on the side and a red hair piece + choker + black liner + red lip stain while dancing, swinging, and spinning to my Russian playlist (the first song is Ukranian lol) and my Laibach playlist. I used every swing there and used the merry-go-round, staring up at the hazy dark sky.
And I danced on the side walks to Russian songs I can't pronounce and most of them I don't know what they're saying. And surprised I remembered the lyrics to Tanz Mit Laibach as I swung higher and higher. I can't wait to go back when the weather gets cool or on a foggy day!!
I tried to find our old house but I got lost, ended up in some remote area of what I think was some type of factory or plant (dead end and Laibach was singing "Das ist das ende") as I realized I needed to do a u-turn in this very industrial place. 😂
Saw a sign that read "Safety is everyone's responsibility" (or something similar) and it was hilarious because it read very Soviet to me + Laibach. 😆😅 If I see it again, I'll take a picture, brat moj. But I found my way back and I'm doing laundry. 🧼 🫧
It felt good mentally. A few times I was hoping no one would kill me as I was swinging (there are hardly any lights turned on and the sky was overcast at 9pm+ so you could barely see Venus) - but I did look around a few times in the dark to make sure I didn't see any moving silhouettes. I'm now realizing how somewhat secluded this place is. It's off a semi-busy road but there are hardly any businesses around and you have to drive a couple small curves to get there from the road, and all the lights apart from the parking lot are off. There's a wooded(?)/bushy area that leads to very low water and I remember we found someone's temporary setup within 100-200 steps of the park - not sure if currently in-use or they just left it. To either side are locked fences but none of them are lit. The parking lot is wide and well lit so you can see if someone is parking or driving by. But behind the swings, it's just darkness, cement, trees, and bushes.
It was both freeing but scary because I was not prepared if someone came (no pepper spray, taser, etc - I'll have to get one) and I can't see well at night (or most of the time); this prescription needs changing alkdjfa).
Chris said I need to practice driving in the daytime and I said "closer to dusk because I'm allergic to the sun." 😆🚶🧍
When I got home, I kept saying "I did it!" And asked Chris for a hug and then kept hugging his back (as he was washing his hands lol) (autism thing; he gets it). Because I did it! Not just the driving (I have a fear of driving), but the experience surrounding it.
I did it. 😎