11th Day of 2022
Blog 009
01.11.2022
6:21 AM
Today is the day I'll make myself proud. Today is the day I'll congratulate myse---
6:25 AM
Wait.
I'm not even sure of the outcome. TBH I'm freaking nervous. My head is full of what if's since yesterday. TBH again, I'm scared.. Scared that I may flunk and fail..
7:42 AM
Applied for passes. Okay this is it. Pull yourself together, girl.
8:26 AM
To go or not to go? Ugh. Hamlet.
8:28 AM
I don't know if I'm just nervous or what but I kind of feeling under the weather. My body aches, my head hurts, and my throat is itchy. I know it's flu season but please let not this be COVID. Jebal. Or I'm just being OA for this D-Day. Ugh. I don't know anymore.
9:08 AM
Should I go?
11:43 AM
I should go.
12:03 PM
It's now or never.
1:13 PM
Bumpy path before my prize.
2:11 PM
Got it. But won't open it.
2:31 PM
Off to church. I will open it after I pray.
2:47 PM
I prayed to God. Not that I wanted to change the result if ever, but to thank Him for everything. I contemplated so much last night that whatever the result will be, I'll gladly accept it.
2:48 PM
"We wish to inform you that you have successfully passed the Comprehensive Examination given this November 20 & 27, 2021."
At first, I didn't believe it yet but when I flipped the page and saw the second content of the letter showing that I passed all 12 subjects, my heart was jumping out of joy like FR!!!!! I was thanking God so much. I was ugly crying TF because I was so happy! I was freaking nervous that I might have flunked 1 or 2 subjects because there was no review program this year and the scope was too broad. I mean, we have no freaking idea what will come out during the exam. Our profs did not gave us any pointers aside from our one major prof because she told us it's not difficult to help especially for the success of her students. The last 2 subjects I took were the most difficult because I honestly don't have any idea about the exam content. I was literally defining and answering the questions based on the given literal context tf that's why I was so nervous. Also, since it is a general exam, our prof who handled us aren't usually the ones who make the exam (plus we don't have reviews, so it was like a suicide mission).
But prayers work. I prayed every day and every night that God may grant me this. God heard my prayers, and God never fails especially if it's meant for you. Through my highs and lows, God was with me. The entire November and December I was so freaking stressed. My academic works, my office works, my teaching works, and my church works were overlapping to the point that I don't know which to pick first since all of them were demanding to be prioritized. Breakdowns here and there that I did not tell anyone but my journal. All the sleepless nights and all the nights I cried everything to bed was so worth it the moment I saw my results.
I was in the verge of giving up. I wasn't gonna take that opportunity because I wasn't ready and I was scared that I might just fail. But I remembered I have no choice. I am an "Ate". And I'm not born rich. So I have to work my ass hard even though I have to cry a lot on the process because my negative thoughts will not pay my bills and bring food on our table. That was my reminder to self the night before I took the exam.
To my family, June 2022 is for you. To my love, graduation goals again for year 2022. To my constants, my breather. To my prof, you played a big part in this success. To all the people who have helped one way or another, thank you.
I know this is just a small success, a small win. But small wins matter. And I thank everything to the Almighty God for this small win.