Discover Top Posts Tagged with #nishii

Jun 5, 2022

N. + N. || SEVERING BONDS

Characters: Nakaou, Nishii, Milo, Akaiss (Mentioned), and many.. many more:)

Word count: 4k

Tw: Mentions of abuse. Violence. Gore (briefly mentioned injuries. Not in detail) and straight up not having a good time

Notes: THANK YOU TO- KURT, NORT AND VAL FOR HELPING ME OUT WITH THIS AND PROVIDING SOME LINES TO WORK WITH.. <3 Heh

>Hey.. are yoU Up?

That message stared Nakaou dead in the face for a long while. He had a rule, no phone stuff when he was hanging out with friends.. always good to disconnect.. but once that familiar notification sound hit his ears. He seemed to not hesitate- pulling the device from the inside of his jacket. The purples eyes widened as he opened the notification. After... shit.. a month or two of raido silence.. it was rather bitter to have him reach out to him.. still coasting on crashing and burning a friendship or two. He was partially responsible.. not reaching out.. not trying to visit. Ever since he had appeared back into life again- he had been awfully bad at that. Yet, how could Nakaou be content with him around? After all.. he had heard through the grapevine and from some articles- Nishii was hanging around Akaiss. Not just any Akaiss. Akaiss Ritouv.

It was funny. He didn't even know that Akaiss was related to Lammek- Because the fuschia he had known for longer.. never gave him his last name. Probably because Nakaou never gave his. Not because he valued that privacy- no.. because he never cared to learn it. Nakaou felt he should've questioned his friend more, now that he had more information.

Akaiss had strolled into his life, casually- the purple was out of the loop with many famous trolls. He had thought he was familiar looking- but that didn't matter to him. What had mattered.. was how nice he was. How open and jokey he was being. Usually seadwellers had intimidated him just slightly.. but when he had first started to hang with Akaiss- he didn't feel that. He felt like he was just another troll. Albeit with a bit of a thing for attention and praise.

It was only time that had truly showed him that Akaiss was nothing of the sort. Appearing so 'coincidentally' so often, seeing him follow him- hell. even knowing some things he shouldn't. It all came to a screeching halt when he had followed him in return. The fuschia had threatened Milo, the burgundy was furious. Their eyes filled with rage.. yet their words were carefully picked and their body language showed none of it. However, the purple was not the same. He could feel that rage seep into his bones. Into every fiber of his being. He couldn't respect a guy like that.. no way.. no how. So like any rational troll, with the many faces he knew.. He asked around.

The amount of people he had heard used the words 'Malicious two faced murderer' to describe him.. was.. a little concerning. No scratch that- fucking frightening. While he was effectively immortal, many others weren't as fortunate as him. He could evade death. His friends? His family? Not so much. Akaiss reminded him of all those Juggalos he was forced to be around. Violent. Cruel. but That's not all Akaiss was. He was power hungry, cruel, a master manipulator who didn't care how many bodies he had to fall to get on top. His sights were set straight and true.. and that's what concerned Nakaou. What the fuck did he have to do with it? He was apart of a band, sure.. but it wasn't like they were famous. Sure the Fuschia had backhandedly told him, if it weren't for all those ugly scars, he would've offered to collab. Nakaou didn't care, but.. it left a frown on his face for a few seconds longer that he would've liked and a thought ate at the back of his mind.. should.. should he start covering them up? Have Wicata charm him like she had offered many time ago- so he didn't have to show them? Shit.. what an ugly random thought.

He had mad his mind up fully.. and when he was invited out he had completely put him on blast. In front of strangers and friends alike. What Nakaou had was credibility. He was a peoples person, those people around him knew he wasn't a fraud, that he had some.. things going on .. but didn't everyone else? Akaiss had stared at him silently, his eyes slitting up fierce and his signature smile dropping. It turned into something dangerous.. something sinister.. and it returned back to normal.. as if he had never had it.

")(e)(e.. I'll remember t)(i-s>.."

He never got scared by others- no need to. Nakaou bounced back. But that silent threat made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up... nearly wanting to turn tail and run to someone close that made him feel safe. Nakaou didn't. He never was the type to do so, not when he was alive and especially not at the moment.

He felt his ears droop. Falling out of the memories that made his stomach rot. He loathed it. God he fucking did. He quickly downed what was left of his drink, setting the cup down rather abruptly and fished out his wallet. Throwing a tip and his payment onto the counter. The bartender nodded to him and he made his way to the bathroom. Pushing through the drunk bar goers until he was able to turn the lock on the bathroom door. He leaned against the heavily graffiti'd wall, typing out his reply.

>Yeah, What's up?

He sat patiently, before hearing the notification sound play back at him,

>I kNow it's short Notice.. buT caN we talk? I really think we shoUld talk aboUt.... Uhm.. EverythiNg? Yeah.. EverythiNg.

God.. he hated that. This was genuinely the worst, he had been trying to about talking about literally any of what was happening with him for a reason. He didn't want to accept those bad feelings. Yet nishii was his weakness- as always. He does care for his brother. They were tightly knit for a reason. He groaned, pulling out his cigarettes and lighter. Putting one between his teeth, he fumbled with his lighter, struggling to light the thing. He could feel the tell-tale signs of anxiety reaching to take hold of him already, hands shaking.

>Like.. on the phone? orrrrrrr 3:,'

That one he didn't respond to right away, his nails drummed against the tile wall.. fearfully. He could.. He could definitely deal with a phone call, sure. Yeah that would be fine. He thinks. He could definitely regulate himself more that way, he takes a long drag, feeling his lungs burn from the smoke- and puffing it back out into the small room.

>Uhm. Face to face woUld be the best yknow?

He feels his heart race bump up. No.. No, maybe he wouldn't have to do it tonight.. yeah yeah that w-

>I'm goNNa be Up for a while. Come over please.

"Oh goddaMn it."

>Sure. OMW

He takes a hard drag off of his cigarette, before snuffing it out on the bottom of his boot, snapping the damn thing in half after he notices the embers no longer burned- only to toss it into the trash. He unlocks the door, taking a moment before heading back out, passing past an Indigo who had been waiting for him to finish up- the high blood grimaced as they attempted to enter the bathroom.. but Nakaou didn't stick around to hear the blue blood complain about the smoke smell. Tough shit pal.

He squeezed between his friends at the counter, his spot now occupied by a teal- he didn't care to ask. He needed to grab his helmet-

"☆ Hey lover boy.. heading out? Oho.. don't tell me… are you going to get some? Maybe from your boytoy? Or.. maybe your little pitch bitch? Either way.. so sad.. abandoning us like that..☆"

He looked up at the burgundy who he had been seated next to, Nakaous face burned purple at the insinuation- dude.. C'mon. He grabs his helmet, gripping it tight as his mind seems to crash into the wall at the implications of either… not cool! Not cool..

"Nah.. Nah- S-Shut up about that, neither of those. IM goin ta Meet With My bro. UhM. Haven't seen hiM in a While. Gotta catch up ya knoW? ErM- faMily stuff."

He carefully puts his helmet on, fishing out the keys to his bike- it all roused a small chuckle from his burgundy friend. They take a strand of their wild hair between their fingers, twirling it nonchalantly.. eyes twinkling in delight at his reaction..

"☆ Mhmhm.. Have fun~☆"

Nakaou quickly clears his throat, sputtering out his goodbyes to his friends.. and taking a jog to get to his bike. His trusted ride. Ok.. maybe not his original bike. This was probably … his third bike? The sleek ride was an investment, but hey- he had been more careful with it.

He slung his leg over the side, the springs bouncing and creaking under his weight. He glanced down at the key in his hand, the many Keychains jingling- all of them felt nice in his hand. The textures all carefully picked with the intention of being something he *could* feel. The bright colors all gave him indications on whom they belonged to.. nearly the whole hemospectrum of colors.. It delighted him. He stuck the key into the ignition and his ride roared to life. With a kick to the stand, and balancing his weight. He took off down the dark streets.

The rush of air and hum of other vehicles around him had been drowned out by the loud music blaring from the bikes speakers and the engine of his bike roaring out. He felt the anxiety mounting every second he spent on his bike.. It was a blur- one minute he was at the bar.. and the next he was parking his bike outside of Nishii's Hive. The vehicles engine turned off and the speakers no longer played the comforting melodies. He took the helmet off, shaking his head, attempting to give his hair a bit of life after being pressed down against his head for as long as it was. His hands ruffled it before unmounting. His feet took him directly up the path, straight to his door.. and with a shaky hand. He rapped his knuckles against the faux wood in a familiar pattern. Three hard knocks followed by two playful ones.

Nothing.. he almost raised his hand again but the door had opened before he could collide his fist again. What had greeted him had been odd- his brother stood with his familiar outfit. It seemed that he had been the opposite of himself- while Nakaou had a little more selection in his wardrobe.. Nishii always seemed to stick to the same old thing. Same oversized sweater that seemed to hang off and a choker. But.. that wasn't what caught his eye.

The nasty scar that ran from his shoulder down.. that is what had caught his attention. It was new- yeah he could tell that. Probably.. a couple months old at best with how dark it was still. He eyed it with worry, even though his own scars had faded slightly, his had been deep. Far deeper than whatever had attacked him. Almost as if the person who had attacked Nishii hadn't used all their strength.. and perhaps. Spared him? Or.. was it self inflicted? No.. It couldn't be. With the amount of force he would have to use- and Nishiis pain aversion. Nah. Not possible.

His eyes went up to Nishiis face, trying to play it off. He could tell there was.. a slight nervousness and seemingly.. tension.. resting behind his eyes. Yet that smile on his face made him oddly at ease. His fellow purple stepped to the side, holding the door open to his apartment,

"Ah. NakaoU yoU made it. Come iNside? I made some iced tea.. I know.. yoU like that kinda stUff.

"Ey, IM a sucker for the good ol' stuff, What can I say?"

He stepped in, past his brother- letting him shut them inside of his hive. He hadn't been over to Nishiis new place. Ever since he came back from the dead, he's been taking care of their childhood home. The one far off in the countryside… a bit of a drive.. but hey. Has he ever denied a joy ride like that? Sucks to come visit- but it's worth it.

He kneels down, carefully unlacing his shoe, pulling and maneuvering them off his feet. A habit of his picked up from.. someone from before. Yet he couldn't exactly recall whom anymore. Some memories were lost and he didn't care to recall them. Was probably just picked up from someone in his childhood. He neatly sat them next to each other, neatly tied and almost freakishly uniform.

"Aight ya the Man of the house- lead the Way."

His brother usually chuckled at such things.. but he only responded with a chuff. Before leading them to his living room, which was rather sparse.. no rug. Just a couch, coffee table and a side table with a lamp on it. Some knickknacks up on the wall.. a window or two.. but why was this room so- empty? He finally spots the tea, sitting on the table.

He takes a seat, casually crossing his legs… his brother sliding a glass of tea his way and taking his own as he sits next to him

"Heh.. sorry it was oN such short Notice.. KiNda hard like.. fiNdiNg a proper time or place yknow?"

Nakaou takes a drink, savoring the taste before setting it back down. Leaning casually back in his seat.

"Meh. Just rip the bandaid off, get it over With, ya feel?"

He nods his head in response to his brother's words, taking a small sip of his drink..

"So.. What is this about bro?"

"well… I've been talking.. with my morail-"

Nakaou paused.. morail? Since… when the fuck did his brother get a fucking morail? Nishii was in no place to have a morail, especially after how his last one ended.. and it worried him

"Woah Woah.. Pause.. Who the fuck is your pale? When the hell did this happen?"

That seemed to sit wrong with his brother.

".. His name is Akaiss… and a month ago. we've beeN speNding a lot of time together receNtly and .. he's giveN me a lot of advice.. oN how to approach thi-"

"Are you fucking kidding Me??"

Nakaou growled- he had never been one for such noises. It was deep and fierce.. echoing In the room. Almost reminiscent of a Lion- foreboding.. and raw. Nishii turned his head in defiance, his own growl challenging his brother.

"ExcUse me?"

"Th-That fucking asshole is not your fucking Morail. Absolutely the fuck not. No. What the fuck are you thinking? Are you trying to get yourself hurt or soMe shit? That guy can fucking KILL you! He's a two faced liar! He's not good."

Nakaous words came out fast and pointed. Seemingly not caring what his brother had or felt. His hatred for that sea dweller was true.. and it felt.. it felt like a backstab.

"Like yoU're oNe to fuckiNg talk- having yoUr owN morail Use yoU like a piN cushioN."

"Watch your tongue- that is coMpletely different."

"Yeah- it is. My morail actUally GIVES a shit aboUt me, comes oUt of his way UNLIKE someoNe in front of me! YoU're coming iN swiNging hot like I've done yoU wroNg! WheN yoUre the real problem here!"

"I do c-"

"LIAR! Don't LIE to me."

Nishii snapped back, slamming his drink down to the coffee table, his finger pointing directly at Nakaou. The purple was becoming hysterical- why the fuck was he getting so worked up!? He was showing concern and the want to protect his own sibling. The only person he fucking has that he trusted-

"YoU've Never cared aboUt me! NEVER! FUCKING NEVER!"

Nishiis breathing became labored, scratching at himself.. his eyes started to flicker.. purple and pink. Reflecting off of his clothes and his skin.. Until they took over his vision. Hearts staring Nakaou dead in the eyes..

"YoU're the WORST!"

The purple bloods head began to feel.. woozy. A nagging voice in the back of his head began babbling to him.. and that glow swirled in his eyes. Not from his own voodoos.. but from his brothers.. He fumbled to his feet.. pressing the palms of his hands to his ears in an attempt to quiet the sounds of his brother and the voice in his head..

"Stop it.."

Nakaous nails dug into the side of his own head, sniffling and crying as the whispers and screams began to echo loudly in his brain. Memories that weren't his were being shown to him and it was shattering his heart. Memories of pain. Memories of agony. Every terrible instance of.. whoever- fuck so many names were being said. They were all so LOUD. No matter what he tried to do, it was all not his own. Fire. Blood.. pain. Fucking PAIN. He hadn't felt that in a long time, with how much he was wailing and crying out in anguish.. His throat was becoming hoarse and his body was shaking violently. The tears ran down his face, nothing could stop them. Nothing would. He felt like he was going to be sick. He wanted to DIE. To end the GRIEF. The voices echoed hard. Deep. He felt as if he was ripping in half-

"You realize..the only reason people will tolerate your pathetic behaviour or give you time of night is because of your body, right? The fact that such an attitude is stuck inside a perfect silhouette is a shame..it needs to be fixed. And it will be."

"No why to it- I just don't need you anymore."

"No matter how far you run, you'll always be a sacrifice to your father."

"Why're you acting so tough, huh? For a rustblood you got a lot of nerve to think you deserve an OUNCE, a DROP of fucking respect. You're my punchin' bag, and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"You'll never belong anywhere"

He collapsed to his knees, hand clutching his chest as everything in the room spun, scenes playing out before him, blurring in bright purples and pinks. His eyes alight with a familiar hue

"What did you expect? Me to offer myself as tribute? To ruin my temple? No.. that is what you are for."

"No- you are my son. You will do as I fucking say. Without complaints. Without failure. I will break you into shape. Whether you are compliant or not."

"Ha- you think anything would love you? You're ghastly and a freak. A wolf in sheep's clothing! Don't make me fucking laugh olive blood."

"A failure. That's what you are."

"Hhehehehe.. you are awfully fucking stupid ehehhe to think you'd amount to anything besides my play thing.."

Nakaou couldn't feel it, his hands digging into his sides. Desperately trying to hold onto reality- the more Nishii babbled above him. the worse it was getting..

"You're incapable of loving… but you knew that already.. didn't you? That's why you fill the space in your bed with another willing body. That's why you prey on the broken hearts."

"I loved the concept of you."

"You're a waste, even less than that. How many times will you crawl back untill you realize the result is the same? Over and over again I will destroy you until there is nothing left, that's a promise."

".. You think that you can escape this? You are my heir. You will never be free of this. Like ouroboros.. that eats its tail to infinity.. this is a game you are fated to partake in.. unless you wish to be fodder- play your part. Boy."

Nishii pulled out the knife that had been hidden in the drawer of the side table- Nakaou too preoccupied by the visions. His brother crossed to him, roughly kicking Nakaou flat onto his back. The voices only became louder.. but the visions parted and seemed to silence themselves once Nishii began to speak- loud and clear

"YoU NEVER UNderstood! YoU Never fUckiNg HAVE! YoU abandoNed me- Now yoU talk so poorly aboUt MY morail! Like yoU fUcking know him!! He was right! YoU're Nothing bUt bad! A poisoN, a PLAGUE! A sickNess! YoU abaNdoNed me. Left me in agoNy with yoUr sUpposed dead body wheN yoU've beeN rUnning arouNd alive all this time! Well I've had it. IVE HAD ENOUGH! "

The gleam of the knife- Nakaou could hardly speak. His brother loomed, the shadows now framing his face- like he was a killer.. like a monster from those stories they read as kids. It took one second, before he truly couldn't speak anymore, the blade pierced through the right side of his neck.. and he could feel the blood rushing into his mouth. He was lucky he couldn't feel the pain.. But he could feel the sensation- something was not in place anymore. Torn and ripped. Metallic and pungent.. Nakaous body shook violently, his own brother had slit his throat… and it seemed he wasn't finished. Sinking it directly into his chest with a surge of strength, one that Nakaou would've never have expected his own sibling to have. He could hear his Sternum crack- and everything was starting to go dark. Ah.. was.. was he going to die? He felt like it.

His own brother. The only person he had ever expected to really.. really understand.. to accept him and never break their promise. He had severed ties in the worst way..

"JUst DIE ALREADY."

That was the last thing he had remembered hearing.. the darkness enveloping him whole… and his body went limp.

Nakaou didn't know how long he had been passed out for. But.. he knew it had to be a long while. He opened his eyes, deliriously blinking at the ceiling of his brother's apartment.. he must've ditched the place. Or.. this really was never his home to start with. That was more logical. His breathing seemed to be strained, so he really did intend to kill. He knew what he was doing- this wasn't hysterical. This was planned. He heard the familiar chirp of his phone.. his purple crusted hands struggling to fish his phone out. He shakily looked at the screen..it's been… oh fuck two days? He's been laying on this floor for that long? The time was obscured by the blood that seeped through his coat... but what he could see.. was the insane amount of missed calls and texts that seemed to have piled up in his absence. Shit- in fact.. a lot of new numbers he's never fucking added. Yeesh. The familiar contacts of those closest to him- ha.. yes. That was expected. He really wasn't a flaker. He would warn when he would leave for long periods of time.. didn't need to worry.. but all he said was 'Hanging with my bro' and left.

He locked his phone again.. putting the device back into his pocket... He was so emotionally drained. Feeling like an empty shell. Laying on the ground. He couldn't lay there forever, now could he? With a deep breath, he pulled himself from the floor, his coat crackling from the dried blood.. and he struggled to stand to his feet. It was like watching a baby deer try to walk for the first time, his legs were too shaky- all that blood loss wasn't ideal. He touched his neck. The wound had healed up.. slightly. Enough.. that's all he needed. He wanted to sink his nails into the wound, to try and see if.. maybe he could really die. To really be free from this fucking torment. He was mad. So .. so mad. So unbelievably angry.

Each step he took towards that door.. only fueled the fire. His breathing labored.

Nakaou was alive.. but was he really? All he knew was.. he was tired. He wanted to go home and never come back out. Never speak again… and maybe..

Maybe that was for the better. To save himself the heartbreak again. To save himself the agony of being stepped on like that once more… those friends of his.. were they really friends? Or were they all going to do the same once his back was turned?

He.. he just might.. be alone for a while. That would be best.

#Nakaou #Nishii #Writing #PLEASE HEAD THE WARNING.

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