#no mentor

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

It's hard realizing that I'll never stop feeling lonely, and that I'll never have anyone to turn to/comfort me/tell me things will be okay

[reannabeth]

Something I made because I was sad because Peter is sad

[crownofcompassion]

New Post has been published on Crown of Compassion

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2021/10/20/good-fences-protect-and-preserve/

Good fences protect and preserve

“Don’t mistake fences for walls.  Walls can feel closed in and tight. . . .  Fences aren’t intended to divide.  Good fences protect and preserve the beautiful things you’re growing.  Fences communicate your belief that your land holds life worthy of safeguarding.”- Jennifer Dukes Lee (emphasis author’s)

“A man without self-control is like an city broken into and left without walls.”- Proverbs 25:28 (ESV)

In Chapter 10 (“Good Fences”) of Growing Slow, Jennifer Dukes Lee observes that fences represent a way to take care of what you’re growing in your life.  Thus, fences help you delineate your responsibilities.  Also, fences mark where your responsibilities end and someone else’s begin.

However, sometimes we need others to point out where our fences need mending.  Or reveal places where we need to erect fences.  In her book The Next Right Thing, Emily P. Freeman describes the benefit of a ‘No Mentor.’  Someone who’s straightforward as well as unapologetic.  Emily continues:

“A No Mentor is there to help you feel confident about saying no to the things you really don’t want to do anyway or to help you finally discover your strong, brace you in the midst of fear.”

Yet, at some point you may feel the temptation to widen your fences.  Move those posts out a little further.  Because that enables you to plant more seeds, perhaps producing a bigger harvest.  But, Jennifer counsels, let the Lord move the fences.

In conclusion, Jennifer asserts that no matter what you’re growing these days, you possess the freedom to see yourself as a complete, whole person.  Consequently, fences function as a way of taking care of yourself, just as you are.  So, access your God-given right to simply abide in the place where God’s settled you.

Therefore, rest, sit still, and take care of the matters at hand.  Just remember, some fences exist to keep toxic things out.  They also hem you in. In these ways, God stewards you.

Today’s question:  How do good fences protect and preserve the good things you’re growing?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The Lord of the Harvest works steps ahead”

[crownofcompassion]

New Post has been published on Crown of Compassion

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2019/07/11/discerning-your-next-right-step/

Discerning your next right step

” . . . a big part of discerning your next right step is knowing and understanding what you really want to do.  Knowing what you want isn’t selfish, it’s actually crucial to making decisions because it builds confidence, hastens healing, and is a gift to the people you love. . . .  It helps you choose your absence by saying yes and no to things without all the angst.”- Emily P. Freeman

If the person you are trying so hard not to disappoint will be displeased by a not, they’ll eventually be disappointed even if you say yes.”- Lysa TerKeurst, The Best Yes

Emily P. Freeman concludes Chapter 17 of The Next Right Thing with the fourth thing to look for in a No Mentor.

4.  You need someone who respects you but isn’t impressed with you.  This one, Emily notes, is a bit tricky.  Because you want someone who respects and loves you, but also has your best interests in mind.  However, you don’t want a No Mentor who believes you can do no wrong or thinks you’re really cool.

Most noteworthy, Emily explains, we tend to look around and overcommit ourselves.  She writes:

“We are kingdom people, and, in a very real way, our time doesn’t belong to us; it belongs to God.  The problem is we’ve misunderstood what that means.  Instead of being people who look within and discern where he is leading us, we look around and overcommit ourselves.  When the whispers of our calling try to speak to us, we don’t have the time or the space to listen. . . .  We all need a friend we can trust who is willing to go deep with us, to listen, to offer feedback, and to help us either solve a problem or feel better about the fact that the problem is unsolvable.”

Finally, Emily exhorts that only you carry the vision.  You’ll be more content and effective.

Today’s question: What do you find most helpful in discerning your next right step?  Please share.

Special note: Since I cover Chapter 18 in the July Short Meditation, I move on to Chapter 19 in the next blog.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Believe the truth about myself”

[crownofcompassion]

New Post has been published on Crown of Compassion

New Post has been published on https://www.crownofcompassion.org/2019/07/10/the-no-mentor-a-special-kind-of-person/

The No Mentor - a special kind of person

“The No Mentor is a special kind of person.  While a regular mentor will help you weigh decisions and give valuable advice, a No Mentor goes in with a stronger filter from the beginning. . . .  Unlike your co-listening group members, who have a primary role of listening, your No Mentor will be no-nonsense, straightforward, and unapologetic.”- Emily P. Freeman

In Chapter 17 (“Find a No Mentor”) of The Next Right Thing, Emily P. Freeman asserts that if you lack the courage to say no when you need to, you’d probably benefit from  No Mentor.  Most likely, Emily observes, you’ll employ this person to help you choose your absence from things you already realize should be a no, but that you find hard to admit.

Furthermore, you’ll find that such a guide is relentlessly on your side.  Hence, that person keeps the health of your soul, your family, and your work foremost in his/her mind.  Thus, finding this mentor may constitute your next right thing.  As a result, Emily presents four things to look for in selecting this mentor.  The author covers the first three things today.

1.  You need someone who makes decisions the way you want to make them in areas you want to make them in.  However, the author notes, we tend to ask the most easily available people for advice.  Instead, we need to consider whether the people around us actually model the life we want to live.

2.  You need someone who knows you and gets the subtleties of your decision in a way other people might not.  As Emily stresses, a mentor who helps you say no possesses the skills to differentiate between his/her stuff and your stuff.

3.  You need someone you can trust with the underbelly.  Since every choice has an underbelly, this confidant needs to know the whole story.  And that includes the ugly, the weird, and the twisty.  Consequently, you must be able to trust him or her.  So, Emily exhorts, tell everything and tell it true.  Your friend can handle it.

Today’s question: Do you need that special person in your life to help you say no?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Discerning your next right step”