Prompt: day 2 of @ombrotherlylove2023: Mammon. But I don't think I actually followed the bonding experience prompt. It's pure angst... again.
Warnings: references to trauma
Word count: 896
Summary: The Great Witch Maddi is back. Mammon had to be rescued by MC, but he's not fine. At all. This fic references the Great Witch Maddi mentioned in the Devilgram “The Escorts” who once captured and traumatised Mammon.
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“What in the blazes were you thinking?!” Those were the first words he heard after being pulled by the pact. Lucifer was towering over him, surrounded by an air of wrath that could only match Satan’s. But Mammon didn’t care anymore. For once there was no fear left in his heart, as if he spent it all in the last hours he spent with his abductor, trying not to relive everything that happened the last time and reliving it nonetheless over and over again.
The room was bright, brighter than his eyes were prepared to. The dark cave was no longer around, and the hard cold stone was replaced by a soft couch. The spell that was tying him up stayed behind as well, cleared by the summoning completely. He could finally move.
But he didn’t.
“Is that all you have to say?” He never heard his human bark like that at anyone. But he couldn’t muster any strength to even look up. Some quick orders followed, and his brothers scattered to their assigned tasks.
The first to return was Belphie with a blanket he put over his shoulders. The blanket slid from his back without any attempt from Mammon to keep it on.
“He’s kind of… unresponsive,” Belphie noticed, wrapping him up in the blanket again, this time more tightly so it doesn’t fall off.
It was warm. And smelled of home.
“Worse than last time,” Beel admitted. “I hope he’ll recover faster with you around…”
“Last time? This happened before?”
“Yeah, a few centuries ago. When he came back, he locked himself in his room for two weeks. Nightmares and stuff.”
“But why exactly?”
“Well…” Satan took over the explaining, “there’s that great witch hell-bent on taking reign over the Devildom. Diavolo refuses her advances so she tries other ways… sometimes. But if she comes officially, she’s always under strict supervision since the last time she caught Mammon and…”
The scenes flashed before Mammon’s eyes again, unstoppable in their intrusive flow, impossible to ward off against. He curled himself into a ball and shuddered, almost feeling as if worms were crawling over his skin.
“Got it, say no more.”
But it was too late to stop the memories washing over him in a sticky, oily wave, leaving him feeling like his whole body was covered in something disgusting, unimaginably repulsive.
“I need to know what’s happened to relay this incident to Diavolo.”
“But Lucifer, look at him,” Asmo complained. “He’s so quiet it’s getting scary. I preferred when he was all loud. Goodness, he’s even shivering. I can’t look at this.” Asmo started rubbing Mammon’s shoulders, trying to warm him up as if it could help.
“We need his testimony to get rid of her for good.” Belphie sighed. “I might have an idea. Asmo, you should talk to him.”
“Hm?” Asmo was confused at first but something then clicked for him. “Oh. You’re right. I’ll try.”
Asmo sat down on the couch and took Mammon’s face into his hands, forcing Mammon to look at him. It was difficult to avert his gaze as if something was pulling him to stare.
“Tell us what happened,” Asmo’s tone was gentle, uncharacteristically so, as he peered into Mammon’s eyes and Mammon felt a drive to tell him everything. He couldn’t look away and realised that Asmo was urging him with a bit of his charm. It wasn’t irresistible, rather like a slight push easy to brush off in any other situation. He just had no strength left to oppose it.
He opened his mouth.
But his voice failed him.
“Was that Maddi?” Asmo inquired. The sole name made Mammon’s skin feel dirty again.
He only nodded.
“That’s enough for now then. Now… don’t think about it. Think about being here.” The words dulled the scenes looped in his mind. He was being charmed out of it, at least as much as Asmo could do about someone with such power difference. But it did help to push the memories away.
Asmo briefly exchanged glances with their guardian human before returning his gaze to Mammon and pulling him into the charm again.
“You’re home,” he added. “The house is warded and safe. You can rest without worry. Nothing can happen to you here.”
And Mammon nodded.
He indeed felt tired.
“If he’s going to sleep anyway, I might as well take a nap too.” Belphie sat down on the couch on the opposite side and pushed his pillow into Mammon’s hands.
And suddenly, with exhaustion washing over him out of the blue, Mammon started to sink into sleep he wasn’t expecting. He tried to fight it, not to surrender to nightmares surely were approaching. Even with how weak he felt, the risk of living though everything again was too much. He mustered all the last bits of energy he had to just stay awake, to push away the pillow, even as his eyes closed on their own and his head drooped onto the soft fabric.
Someone petted his hair.
“Sleep well.” He heard Belphie’s voice close to his ear and felt him leaning against him with a quiet hum.
For split second Mammon realised that he’s about to get sent into sleep, but as all the strain has left him, he fell head first, peaceful and relaxed into the wave of dreams.
Fandom: Obey Me!
Character: Leviathan, Mammon
Warnings: Referenced fictional fish's death.
Word count: 345
Challenge: @ombrotherlylove2023 day 3: Leviathan and movie watching. More comedy than bonding though.
Summary: A movie night goes wrong as Leviathan notices something in the gangster film full of explosions… soomething that no one really noticed before him. Yes, a fish tank. Yes, in a house that was blown up.
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“How could they do that?!” Levi wailed, “Those horrible humans!”
Mammon didn’t expect that his younger brother could throw such a fit in the middle of an action film about something he didn’t even notice. But Levi has been going on for about five minutes already.
“And you say you didn’t see that?!” Leviathan addressed Mammon specifically. “The aquarium WAS there! And there were fish! Like my Henry!” He pointed to the aquarium taking up the whole wall. “Just like him and they blew them up!”
Yes, Mammon had made a mistake to suggest Levi’s been seeing things, which triggered the whole rant. It could have subsided after a few howls, but now he was offended on top of that, Levi just wouldn’t calm down.
“Didn’t you check it on that warning site?” Mammon turned to you with a voice that barely contained the betrayal he felt.
“It wasn’t mentioned,” you looked away awkwardly. “Since the aquarium is only in the distant background in one scene. I mean… look it up.” You shoved him his D.D.D. opened on the site with movie warnings. He looked over the film’s page, but found no mention of the fish indeed.
“No wonder…” he admitted.
“We probably… won’t be able to watch it today.” You gave him a troubled smile. “But… shouldn’t we at least try to calm him down?”
Mammon wasn’t very keen to try again since the last time backfired so badly, but…
“Um, Levi…” Mammon tried to shout over Levi’s ranting.
“What?!”
“Maybe the fish survived. I mean… we didn’t see the aquarium blow up, right? Or even that part of the house. And the humans were all gangsters, right? They knew somethin’ like that might happen. I’m pretty sure the fish tank had enforced glass… or something.”
Levi sent Mammon a crushingly judgemental stare as if he was offended that Mammon ever thought he’d buy it, but finally calmed down, pouting.
Mammon tapped on “Edit” on the film’s entry with a sigh and added a warning about the possible fate of the unfortunate fish.
Fandom: Obey Me! (kind of... a cat AU)
Characters: cat!Satan, cat!Lucifer
Challenge: @ombrotherlylove2023
Note: this is honestly as silly as it sounds, I just wrote it as not much more than a funny miniature because I was thinking of my pet's illness and then forgot to write the actual thing. It was supposed to be for day 4, Satan & human AU but strayed quite a lot.
Word count: 474
Summary: Your cat Lucifer got a nasty poisoning, so it's crucial that no one causes mischief around him... almost impossible with the other 6 devilish cats.
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An unworldly screech disturbed your reading. It wasn’t really anything unusual when living with 7 cats, but it came from the room that should have been closed. The room that Lucifer was staying in, and the last thing Lucifer needed right now was Satan starting a fight.
You immediately abandoned your book and rushed to the room. Considering Lucifer’s miserable state after the poisoning and daily vet appointment, you’d certainly prefer Satan NOT to try anything.
You barged in, to the scene of two fighting cats.
Two cats you recognised as Mammon and Lwvi immediately scattered and ran away, leaving you in silence. You were pretty sure Mammon was holding Levi’s favourite toy, so that was probably the reason of the whole fight. So fortunately nothing to bother with.
The ruckus resumed elsewhere but since neither of two was unwell, it wasn’t as worrisome as the possibility of the other cats picking on the sick Lucifer. They probably disturbed him with their noise.
And the silence wasn’t actually completely quiet. There was an unmistakable purr coming from the basket that Lucifer was hiding in when he was feeling unwell. This couldn’t have been him, right?
You took a peak and caught a glimpse of light fur.
Satan.
He was indeed there, but not doing anything bad for once. He was holding Lucifer is a strong grip that’d probably seem almost aggressive otherwise… and purring his ear off. Now you’ve come closer, he sounded almost like a tiny but very efficient engine.
If Lucifer was able to sleep through that, that’d be an achievement, but even if he couldn’t sleep, he definitely looked quite relaxed. No wonder, a cat’s purr seemed to have a positive effect in general, not only on health, and Lucifer was especially in need of some comfort and one of his usually gremlin brothers was surprisingly nice and helpful for once.
Considering that other cats got to a locked room already (you suspected Mammon, no door handle could stop him after all), you just moved with your reading to at least have the room under supervision.
It turned out not to be a one-time thing. Even if Satan left, he would soon return to resume his task - for the entire time Lucifer was under treatment. Always awkwardly approaching his resting brother, then grabbing him like a bag of potatoes and just starting purring him over.
It was a heart-warming sight and one you definitely didn’t expect. Honestly, you hoped Satan would keep up his good behaviour and that the home would be a bit quieter without their fights, but you should have known better.
Soon Satan was back to his old mischief, annoying Lucifer whenever he could, and probably even was trying to make up for all those prank opportunities he missed due to Lucifer’s illness.
Fandom: Obey Me!
Character: Mammon, Beelzebub
Challenge: @ombrotherlylove2023 day 6, Beel & midnight snacks. Late as usual.
Word count: 785
Summary: Beel was clearing out the fridge at night when he heard a sound… and found Mammon trying to hide from Lucifer. But Mammon seems to be really down, so he's a bit worried.
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Beel was rummaging through the fridge again at night, hoping that it wouldn’t wake Lucifer and get him in trouble. At least now. In the morning everyone definitely discovers that all food disappeared mysteriously, but that was not a problem for now.
A sound startled him and he froze for a moment, but only for a second before resuming chewing on not exactly fresh bread, the last remaining piece of anything potentially edible. Good that the camouflaging spell started wearing out, otherwise he wouldn’t have found it.
He froze again.
This time he was certain that his ears weren’t playing tricks on him and he definitely heard a muffled sniff.
It was coming from one of the cabinets on the other side.
He put the last slice of the half dried bread in his mouth and headed towards the general area of the sound. If he remembered correctly, that was the cabinet he emptied from any stored food two days ago, so potentially it could fit a person. Maybe not as tall as him, but one of the shorter brothers might have indeed gotten stuck there. A burglar would be unlikely considering how well warded the house was.
He opened the cabinet and found one of his brothers indeed as expected. Mammon, curled squished into the small space of the bottom shelf, immediately turned to the wall but Beel could still see that he was biting on his lip.
“So it was you,” Beel concluded.
“...”
Mammon gave him a side glance.
“Don’t tell Lucifer…” both started, but neither finished the sentence. And probably not telling Lucifer wouldn’t prevent him from finding out anyway, whether it was about the fridge or overdrawn credit card.
“Why are you hiding there?” Beel finally asked.
“...just felt like doing that,” Mammon grumbled in reply. “I definitely didn’t hide because I thought at first it was Lucifer.”
“...”
“I DIDN’T.”
“Lucifer will wake up if you keep screaming.”
That shut Mammon up.
“Let’s get you out first.”
With some effort Beel managed to get Mammon unstuck and free him from the cabinet prison he put himself in.
He didn’t seem like his usual plucky self though, uncharacteristically subdued, he was avoiding Beel’s stare and trying very hard to keep a blank face, which - as usual in his case - wasn’t working particularly well.
“Why are you up at this hour?”
“Just because!”
Mammon looked away even more obviously.
“If you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to,” Beel assured him. “I’m finished here so I’ll go back to my room.”
But Mammon grabbed his sleeve.
“I found one of those dolls that Levi missed,” he said quietly, still avoiding looking Beel in the eyes. “I was planning to get him one for his birthday… but I had a bit too little so went to invest and win some more in the casino…”
“And then you lost it all?”
Mammon nodded, ashamed. He let out another muffled sniff, trying to hold back but not exactly succeeding.
“...I was trying to win it back for the whole night.”
“Can’t you find another modelling gig?”
“I took all that was available already. I lost it all.”
Beel thought for a moment. He was never one to come up with solutions - it was always someone else with ideas how to resolve a problem. Beel usually simply followed others’ plans and didn’t think much about it. He was used to it - it was always like that, here in the Devildom or in the Celestial Realm before they fell.
But maybe he had something Mammon could latch onto.
“I think you should ask Asmo. He was complaining all day that he wanted to back out of some Deviltube deal.” Beel patted Mammon’s shoulder. “Some paid partnership or something like that. They asked him to find someone in his place, on last minute. MC has a popular channel too and will probably agree to take up the deal if you ask them.”
“We’d have to split the gain though… might not be enough.”
“But you will be able to buy a present. Without money you can’t buy any.”
Mammon let out a hum in agreement. Beel helped him to stand up and albeit Mammon didn’t seem to really feel much better, he did look a bit less worn out as if it gave him at least a splinter of hope to patch up the situation.
It was on him anyway. Beel shared the information that could help, but what to do now - that was on Mammon.
“I’ll go back to bed.” Beel informed him and turned to leave the kitchen,
“Thanks, Beel,” Mammon finally looked at him before heading towards the door too. “I’ll go ask MC.”
Summary: Lucifer was notified that Mammon took Ren, the human exchange student, to a casino. To prevent the disaster, he immediately headed to the scene only to find…
Also I can't believe that I actually finished it after almost three years.
[I just saw Mammon dragging Ren into a casuno I ghought you should know]
Lucifer frowned at the message. He wasn’t expecting Simeon to report to him on that. They barely exchanged a few written words since the exchange programme started – it wasn’t a long time indeed, but still, slightly surprising. On the second thought though, if the avatar of greed himself was trying to get an innocent lamb into gambling, that’d probably indeed be something to demand immediate action upon, in an angel’s eyes.
In his own demon eyes as well, considering the possible repercussions.
[Tell me which one.]
Lucifer typed back and left the music shop, already annoyed at both his brother and the human. Whichever casino it was, most of them were away from a respectable place like the music shop, so he headed towards the district where Mammon usually went to gamble.
It took him a bit of time to locate the exact location, and probably enough for Mammon to gamble away the human’s allowance entirely. Simeon wasn’t very familiar with the town yet, so could only give him very vague coordinates, but it was enough to narrow down the number of casinos and find the right one eventually.
The staff already figured out it would be happening, so they let him in without much hassle and showed the table where Mammon and Ren were supposed to be. And there, indeed, he spotted the two of them easily – Mammon’s by his white mane, Ren – by the black and red, both messy like if they didn’t know of the existence of combs.
He immediately headed towards them.
The view he found at the table was mostly exactly what he predicted. Mammon was sobbing in his chair, slumped over the table with no credits or cards left. So he spent all of his – and definitely some of not his – money and lost it all, as usual. A disgrace and a bad example for the human, definitely. Or so Lucifer thought, until he actually took a better look over the table.
What Lucifer certainly did not expect, was the human hoarding almost all chips that must have had belonged to other players – and the stash barely fitting on his side of the table. He probably couldn’t even see the community cards in the middle anymore.
But Lucifer did. And had to admit that if someone landed the two cards missing for a straight flush, they’d clearly be set for the win.
Ren was sitting at the table with a dumb smile, like someone who didn’t have a clue what they were doing and just got a hand so good they can’t contain the excitement. He stared at his cards with his grey eyes wide and innocent, and with an expression devoid of any signs of thinking.
He must have landed the flush, his happy face was saying everything you’d need to know that this oblivious innocent thing was on his lucky streak.
He raised the bet.
Maybe someone would check or raise too, but other players were almost entirely out of their chips, and out of patience as well.
“Beginner’s luck”, mumbled some exasperated demon, folding his cards finally and leaving the table with the few last chips he still had. The last demon standing followed the suit and left, clicking his tongue and casting such a glare that definitely meant trouble later. But as vengeful as the demon might ever become, if the fight was not poker, Mammon would be strong enough to ensure the human’s safety – any of his brothers actually would.
Ren however seemed completely undisturbed by the hostile display.
At this point, Lucifer either didn’t particularly care about the situation anymore. The only thing of any importance was that Ren was secured and that the incident didn’t cause a dent in the exchange programme’s financing.
“Phew.” Ren looked up at Lucifer. His eyes, up to this point completely thoughtless, were suddenly sparkling with mischief. “That was close.”
He put down his cards, so miserably weak that they that couldn’t even give him a pair with the community cards of this round.
“We’re heading home then?”, he asked, innocently as if he didn’t just con some demons that thought that a wide-eyed human would be an easy win.
His high spirits rubbed Lucifer a wrong way, but if the incident was resolved, there was no point addressing it any further.
“Yes.” That’s all that Lucifer had to spare him. The boy probably still sensed his irritation – his movements showed a bit of nervousness as he tried to collect all the chips into a bag much smaller than it should be for the stash.
“Come on, lucky charm. Help me collect all of this.” Ren poked Mammon’s shoulder.
“Collect it yourself”, the demon grumbled.
“Should I just take your share for myself then?”
Mammon immediately stopped crying.
“I get a share?”
Upon getting a nod, Mammon resumed sobbing, this time out of happiness, but obediently helped to bring all the chips to the exchange.
After they left the casino, Lucifer sent Mammon away – not without the latter’s protests. Those were however cut short and Mammon immediately evacuated, once Lucifer started lecturing Ren on the dangers of gambling. Unfortunately, the boy listened to him with the same blank, vacant expression that his brothers did and Lucifer really wanted to string him up from the ceiling like he’d normally punish his brothers. But at least Ren did listen – whenever Lucifer demanded him to repeat something, the boy more or less knew what he was talking about. More or less.
“…and this is why I hope I will not see you in such establishments again,” Lucifer finally concluded, just in front of the gate of the House of Lamentation.
“You know that it can be difficult with Mammon as my guardian,” Ren refuted, but his tone seemed like he was purely stating a fact and not arguing a point. “And anyway… Mammon brings luck, doesn’t he?”
“You did seem lucky today, indeed.“
“Yeah. I mean, I did play with him the whole afternoon. It’d be hard not to notice. It’s not just a rumour, is it?”
“If you know of the rumour, then you should know what happens to the luck later.”
He pondered for a moment.
“It should be sufficient to prevent big losses though.” He shrugged. “The luck running out shouldn’t be much of a problem, if he just gets back what he lost.”
“It is not negotiable. I do not wish to see you gambling again.”
“Fiiine.” Ren sighed. “We’ll make sure to avoid you better next time.”
And then he darted towards the house.
That little…!
Well, at least it didn’t cause yet another bill coming to the House of Lamentation.
Fandom: Obey Me!
Genre; comedy
Characters: MC Ren, Satan and unnammed snobby teacher
Summary: Devildom literature was usually a chill course for Ren. Until one exceptionally important yet stupid novel that was just absurdly ridiculous and the teacher just had to ask him for opinion. Surely, expecting him to confirm all the bullocks. Oh how little the teacher knew…
Literature was one of the least straining courses - at least for Ren. He was friends with Satan, after all, so a school course was hardly a challenge after all the book exchanges they had, and so were any assignments. Even with the demon history behind it, he could always count on the most knowledgeable brother to provide him with context, and Ren already knew very well what kind of snobbish interpretation would be praised and rewarded with a high grade. So the course was a breeze.
The most challenging part however was this very specific novel they'd been assigned recently. Not because of its inherent difficulty - no, it was basically nothing but romance with an obviously noble and righteous take.
But the key was why such romance was even included in the most influential books of the recent millennium, and it was the reason why it was difficult: because of all the egregious bullshit it contained and about what Ren had to keep his mouth shut.
"One of the most moving parts was when the human addressed her constant dread of how short her life was. It was really eye-opening," a student said, her tone already indicating how struck she was by the character's portrayal. "The constant awareness of a life as short and fleeting as hers, accompanying her in every moment of her life… I never had any idea how brave humans are to live with that, all the time. That is unimaginable bravery."
"Yes, you're right," the teacher agreed, nodding his head. "The author has indeed portrayed the essence of human existence and life. As I said earlier, the human character became one of the most striking and realistic portrayals of humans in fiction ever made, but at the time of this novel's release it was still quite controversial."
"The scene where she begs her beloved to find a cure for her mortality was so heartbreaking!"
"Yes, it is indeed a brilliant scene. At the time of the novel's serialisation, this chapter had shaken the readers so much that it caused a flood of letters demanding the magazine to release the next chapter immediately."
"As much as I understand the importance of the novel, I would find it necessary to add," Satan spoke up, "that some of the author's ideas aren't grounded in reality."
"You're right. We've already addressed many misconceptions about the human world. With our current knowledge, we already know that not all of the human world is as dangerous to humans as it's described in the novel. Humans are able to find safer places to live in, and choose to move there, which the author wasn't aware of due to her skewed and incomplete information about the realities of other realms," the teacher admitted. "However! All the knowledge was pursued and eventually uncovered only as an effect of this novel. Its popularity was the main reason for the interest in the human world to rise. With all the faults in mind, we can still say with certainty that the descriptions of the reality of human internal thoughts and lives are exceptionally accurate."
"I've read the reviews of the humanology researchers. They gave the book flying marks on the accuracy, however…"
"I expected nothing less from you, Satan. That is an excellent addition to the context around this novel. It was indeed one of very few novels that actually were consulted with a specialist."
"The author's wife, yes. Though… I am slightly skeptical of her expertise as she might have watered down her feedback due to their personal engagement."
"That is a valid point. We cannot exclude the possibility that the reality of human mental strain due to their unique circumstances is much more dire than in the novel."
Ren barely kept a groan of misery from escaping his mouth. It was about as preposterous as the comment section of any of his Devildom social media, where demons were constantly causing flame wars about the most ridiculous misconceptions and utterly absurd ideas about humans.
Now he had not only to nod along but pay attention to the unbelievable bullocks.
He could understand why the first novel to portray a human as equal to demons would be groundbreaking at that time, but literally everything else about it was just so completely unbearable he couldn't listen anymore.
He tried to just tune out of any further discussion for it to be like the tedious buzzing of flies in his ear. Like meaningless background noise.
Unfortunately, the teacher decided to ask him for feedback when the boy was already hiding his face in his hands from the nonsense he'd heard.
"Maybe you would like to add something, as the only mortal in this class?" the teacher's tone turned gentle, as if he didn't want to pressure the boy to address the paralysing existential dread that Ren as a human must have been feeling every horrifying second of his life. "If you'd prefer not to, we understand, of course."
Satan reached for Ren's hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. The compassion and pain in his eyes were unbearable.
Something snapped in his resolve to stay out of trouble. Ren simply had enough, and albeit his reason tried to stop him, he lifted his head with the usual bright smile plastered to his face.
"Yeah, I'd probably rather not talk about how unbearably daft this book is," he stated with a cheerful voice.
The silence that followed weighed over the classroom like a storm cloud ready to throw thunders because it was exactly how Ren was feeling at that moment. And likely how the teacher's mood was souring.
The students looked back at him, first interested by the unexpected harsh words but then confused by his usual smile.
Satan however was much less surprised. He knew what was coming: Ren was about to say something mean! And a lot of somethings, probably. If it was directed at him, Satan would be beyond frightened, but since it wasn't - he was just going to observe it with glee.
An extremely rare sight he could never miss.
But the teacher didn't sense the danger, or maybe just didn't particularly care that a mere human was about to talk back. He composed himself after the initial surprise.
"...would you care to elaborate?"
Ren just said he would prefer not to - and just a few seconds ago.
"First," his smile grew only more blindingly bright, "humans are among the longest living inhabitants of the human world. There's nothing to compare and to come to the conclusion our lives are short. That's bull. The lives of literally everything around us are short. And our lives are short only from an immortal perspective. For us, in our world, we are the long lived ones around."
"That cannot be true. Humans are fully aware of their mortality and fragility and fear it."
"Well, duh. Like if it is a tempting perspective. Okay, for some it is?" a few students gave him a horrified but als fascinated stare. "Nevermind. The point is, find any demon doesn't fear the same."
The students looked at him baffled.
"No?" Ren looked around, not even slightly discouraged by the curious faces of his classmates. "Never scared of the possibility of some very strong demon tearing you apart? Or an unfixable fatal curse?"
An enlightened "oohhh" washed over the classroom.
"That is about as possible as a human getting incurably sick or into an accident."
"That one aspect might indeed be shared but the limited time makes it inevitable and, as a result, makes human lives miserable with the distress it causes."
"The only thing it really causes is the worry about the elderly loved ones."
"Just like the demon felt," Satan concluded with a nod.
"Pretty much. Furthermore! Those researchers' reviews are just stupid. It was actually correct that many humans live in hazardous areas. And surprise, they don't spend their lives shivering in fear either. Humans don't flock only to the safest places on Earth. We do absolutely live around volcanoes, in earthquake and flood areas. Humans live in deserts and in polar climate. They've been there for ages and they're not moving away!"
"How do you survive that?!" one student exclaimed, fascinated. "Isn't the cold there deadly for humans?"
"Exactly." The teacher huffed. "That is obviously false, no human can survive that."
"Have you heard of… clothes?"
A wave of laughter shut the teacher down.
"...I see." The teacher tried to keep a pokerface. "That's quite interesting feedback albeit clearly biased." He turned away, an expression of hope briefly crossing his face as he looked at Solomon. "You have not spoken up yet. You've always been a very reasonable human, I am sure you understand the topic broader."
"Hmm, yes," he let off a thoughtful hum, "My perspective differs a bit, you see, since I'm in a slightly different situation." The teacher nodded at his words, relieved, probably expecting Solomon to contradict Ren's words. But his relief was premature. "Though, I absolutely second what Ren said. His expertise is on point and absolutely accurate. I would highly recommend asking him for feedback more often."
The teacher's face fell.
"I am sure that you both are just… not a very representative sample. It's certainly not a common belief among humans. Our research has already confirmed that beyond any doubt."
"And who exactly has more expertise about humans, some academic shut-ins who never visited the human world, or actual humans themselves?"
"Research conducted by a third party is not skewed by personal beliefs."
"The so-called research has no methodology whatsoever. A fourth rate human college has better academic achievements than that, and got those without conducting any kidnappings on top of that."
Ren sat down and hid his face in his hands again.
Satan patted him supportively on a shoulder, but this time the only thing that flickered in his eyes was amusement.
He turned to the teacher.
"Sir, we've already agreed the book isn't particularly accurate in many places, so inaccuracies aren't a surprise, are they? I would strongly recommend asking humans about human things for a better view on such motifs." Satan added. "The book obviously revolutionised the Devildom's perspective on humans. It remains one of the most important pieces of our literature…" it might have seemed like a merciful thing to say, but Ren knew Satan too well not to expect a devastating punchline, "…especially as an example of good intentions but exceptionally misguided execution."
A few students snickered.
The teacher didn't say anything to that. He just finished class ten minutes earlier and let them leave without addressing the issue any further.
.
In the afternoon he found a surprise on his DevilTube account as someone tagged him in their video.
It was Levi.
"Human student reacts to DEMONSPLAINING".
It had already gone viral. And was shared by Solomon with the applause emoji.
Ren could only sigh.
Then he could only sigh again when Lucifer informed him that he received several requests from researchers seeking an interview with The Human.
Fandom: Obey Me!
Character: OC Ren, demon brothers and Diavolo
Summary: Ren is back home after a sudden disappearance. Aka "author is in denial and Ren quits NB".
.
“…up! Guys, he’s wakin’ up!”
Ren barely understood the last words of the shout. It seemed almost as if muffled by a thick layer of wool, but he recognised the voice – it was familiar, but the name of the person… of the demon wasn’t coming to him yet.
He tried to focus his gaze, but the same wool seemed to have clouded his eyes.
“Ren!”
That was… his name, he realised. He tried to respond, but his body didn’t respond, heavy as if made from lead, but he could feel the grogginess leaving slowly – very slowly, but he was regaining his consciousness.
Ren was still feeling like in a whirlpool, but the shapes in front of him finally started making sense. Someone was peeking right into his face.
“Mammon?”
“Yeah, that’s me, buddy.” The previously concerned voice was now quieter but very, very relieved.
Someone else entered his view.
“How are you feeling?” Diavolo sat down at the edge of the bed.
Right, Ren was lying in bed. He could finally sense what exactly was happening to him as the sensation on his skin flooded his brain. Smooth bedsheets.
“I feel… I slept too long.”
The room smelt unfamiliar. Weird, how you can’t consciously perceive such weak smells, but your brain still can tell if it’s a familiar, safe space. It probably wasn’t the House of Lamentation.
And his eyes confirmed that, indeed, it wasn’t. It looked more like the Demon Lord’s Castle. A guest room maybe?
There were some slight sounds of rustling fabric coming from the parts of the room he couldn’t see. There were more people here, just not approaching.
“What happened?”, he muttered.
But no one answered. The two at his side exchanged troubled glances.
“We’re not sure. But…” Diavolo patted his hand in attempt of reassurance, “what matters is that you’re back.”
“Barbatos found you in the deepest crypt of the mausoleum.” Lucifer entered his view. He tried to keep his voice in check, but Ren knew him well enough to tell that he’s feeling way too many feelings at once to manage to contain them effectively.
“Uh… what I was even doing there?” Ren tried to get up. Mammon immediately jumped to help him and supported his back. With that, Ren somehow sat up, but the movement made the world whirl around him again.
He tried to focus on the demons around him.
“That’s what I also would like to know,” Lucifer admitted. “Well, the most important is that Ren is back home.” Lucifer sighed. “The magic seems to have calmed down.” He looked over his shoulder. “You can approach him now.”
“Are you sure?” Ren couldn’t see Beel from behind the curtain of the bed, but the demon sounded worried. What magic could have made them so worried?
“Yes.” Diavolo confirmed and stood up. “Just careful.” He made room for the approaching brothers and withdrew to Lucifer’s side.
“How could you leave us like this.” Levi whined, clinging to Ren’s arms and forgetting to be shy.
Belphie approached the bed pouting, but it still didn’t prevent him from getting onto the bed and curling at Ren’s side. “You were gone for too long. Humans are really the worst.”
“Belphie, move, that’s my spot!” Asmo tried to push him away, but in the end had to crawi to the other side, where he settled.
He looked up at Ren.
“Your skin is a bit dry. We’ll take care of it when you come back home with us, right, hun?”
“Are you hungry? I should still have a sandwich.” Beel didn’t try to push the other demons away and just sat on the closest free spot on the bed.
“Beel, you ate it twenty minutes ago.” Satan took a place on the other side.
“Oh… right.”
“I’ll tell Simeon to grab something from the kitchen.” Diavolo took his DDD and Ren sent him an inquiring stare. “The angels are on their way to see you too.”
“What about Solomon?” Lucifer turned to Diavolo. “We should inform him.”
“What about him?”, Ren asked, untangling himself from his demons and sitting up again. This time without help.
“He left to look for you,” Lucifer explained. “He said he found a rift but then we lost contact with him.”
“Unfortunately I still cannot find any trace.” Diavolo shook his head.
“I… see. He’s probably fine though.” Ren couldn’t even imagine someone with that level of power ever getting in any trouble he couldn’t deal with. There was though something else bothering him. “But… how long?”
“About four months.”
“Four months and two days,” Mammon corrected him with a small voice. “For all this time… we were lookin’ for you.” He rested his forehead on Ren’s shoulder. “My crows were looking for you.” His voice cracked and he set out a quiet sob. “I- I thought it happened again.”
“Again?” Lucifer frowned for a moment, before he came to some realisation. “Right. Our attendant.” Then he frowned again, deep in thought. “But…”
“Right. He disappeared too.” Asmo tightened his grip on Ren.
“Your attendant?” Something was wrong about that, but Ren couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. His dream was itching in the depths of his mind, but he couldn’t recollect anything, only some blurred images without any context.
“When we arrived here, we got an attendant to help us adjust,” Beel explained. “He helped us a lot.”
“He was a good guy,” Belphie murmured into Ren’s shirt. “But…” he hesitated for a moment. “Hey, guys… say… how did he look like exactly?”
“How could you forget him!” Asmo huffed. “He…” He didn’t finish.
“I… think he had horns?” Mammon wasn’t sure either.
The brothers exchanged glances between each other, concerned.
“It was so long ago… and none of us was in his best shape… so it’s probably normal to forget such… details,” Satan probably didn’t believe himself. “I remember… horns too.”
“Antlers,” Beel added. “But small ones.”
“Similar to mine,” Levi spoke up too. “We had that in common.”
Antlers. The dream poked Ren’s memory again, but he couldn’t recollect why did the mention of antlers seem so important.
It seemed to have triggered a memory in Diavolo as well, but no one – saved for Ren still facing his direction – noticed Diavolo’s sudden change in expression. It was like if all puzzle pieces suddenly jumped to their places in his mind as he remembered the facts from long ago and connected the dots after the millennia that passed since the mysterious demon’s disappearance.
And Ren’s dream was slowly coming back to him. The very long dream of the House of Lamentation and of his demons.
The very long dream of pretending to be a demon and tending to the brothers who haven’t even met him yet.
“Man, now I really want to see him,” Mammon sighed. “I bet he’d love to meet Ren. Do you think he heard about Ren already?”
“Probably.” Asmo shrugged. “Unless he’s living under a stone, he must have seen all the photos I post on Devilgram.”
“Why bother?” Belphie grumbled, but his expression seemed somewhat concerned. “If he cared, he’d visit us.”
“He could have been a relative of Furfur,” Lucifer rubbed his chin, deep in thought. He probably wasn’t even listening to the exchange. “That’d explain the sudden disappearance, too, considering Furfur’s… worldview.”
“But Lord Diavolo said he had an urgent family matter and went… home.” Mammon stuttered on the last word. “Right?!” He turned to Diavolo.
“Yes, I stand by what I said back then.” Diavolo smiled knowingly. “He is safe and sound, I guarantee that. I’m sure he’ll approach you once he’s ready to meet you again.”
“How do you know?” Belphie sent him a resentful glare. “He hasn’t even sent a letter for five thousand years.”
“I happen to know what he’s up to.” Diavolo chuckled. “I did investigate him, as I said I did, and I can say certainly that he’s returned to the Devildom. But until he is ready to come out, I’m going to keep his private matters to myself.”
“Hm… yeah, I think you’ll get an update from him soon, too.” Ren smiled at his demons, patting the still pouting Belphie on the back.
But it still had to wait until then. Memories of the dream were returning slowly one by one, in random order, still too chaotic to make any sense of it. Too many pieces were still missing.
But the “dream” wasn’t important. What was important was that he was back where he belonged.
