Last summer I wanted to be razor free. When hot weather really started, I got scared and ended up shaving my legs. And I kept my armpits unshaved until one night I was getting ready to go out and I was scared about what others would think. And I shaved them. I regreted it the day after.
I guess my reasoning was that I wanted to be beautiful like the other girls. But why couldn't I bé beautiful the way I naturally am?
The matter of body hair is very important to me because I grew up seeing women with little to no hair anywhere, thinking that I needed to shave to be beautiful. I remember some girls my age taking pride in having little body hair. And I always thought why would a girl this age take pride on this.
A few months ago I realized how early this discourse is engraved in our thinking: I was sitting on the sofa one afternoon and my sister, who is 4, saw my leg hair. And she said: "you have the legs of a boy, like dad". I was really surprised to find that a girl so little could say something like that. And it's not only about the education, because my mom has always told us to do whatever we want with our body hair and that it is normal. It's about what you see: if all men keep their body hair but women are seen with none, as a kid you would think just what my sister did. And that's what happened to me too.
And as someone who sees this standard and something stupid it's still hardto not conform. Because deep down I'm afraid of not being beautiful to others. And you could say that is my problem, but I think it's much bigger and deeper than that.
