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tessa (compelamaserati/acrimoniouseffect I THINK), al (reservedel), sasri (nobiliiism/sovereiiign), ft. me & with the bonus track of tink
Who are three tumblr users you associate me with?
compelamaserati / reservedel / nobiliism / darkinherheart / @tinkisstupid ^actual squad goals tho
compelamaserati pls come to chat *tink is a hoe we all need you to tell us what happened on tvd bc none of us watched AMEN.
nobiliism:
BITTER is the laugh that abandons his mouth, in such a sore voice he COUGHS immediately to clear it. the sound has escaped without his permission, yet francis is BEYOND caring at this point, beyond finding any sort of importance in what mary thinks of him. & he knows that so is SHE.
still he thinks her words ridiculously HILARIOUS, eyes never leaving the golden duvet on his bed ( there’s a FORCE, compelling him not to look at her, to keep his head turned AWAY. ), to the point they’re even PAINFUL to listen to. each of them is like a STAB to his heart, an ARROW buried in his chest, FIRE licking his body, SALT spread on his wounds, all at the SAME time.
how can she expect him to BELIEVE anything falling from her lips? lips that had once been his, that he had once TRUSTED to never claim anything but the TRUTH. how is he supposed to find assurance in her, when LEAVING was her intention, when FORGETTING him & the things they'v e been through, TOGETHER, was her solution to every problem?
his life was NOTHING without mary.
while she was prepared live without HIM.
“ - you chose to stay. ”
he echoes her, as if reminiscing about the carefully spoken phrase, although SOURNESS is left lingering in the AIR between them. the TREMBLING of his left hand has become now perceptible, & he closes it into a FIST, the right one pinching the bridge of his nose. & his head has turned, but his eyes ( they sure show a thousand EMOTIONS. ) are shut, in his poor attempt to make his ANGER subside, to stop himself from gazing into her eyes & F A L L I N G A P A R T.
there is much he’s left UNSAID, for he cannot voice his inner thoughts, not without BREAKING. she, who had decided to RUN AWAY, was now here, SLEEPING at his side, taking CARE of him. mary, the one who had not been able to stand his TOUCH, not even the SIGHT of him.
why now?
the only answer he can think of is GUILT.
his eyelids lift, for he cannot avoid this FOREVER. & a tremulous sigh accompanies her speech, because she’s right. he has been too close to DEATH, to leaving everyone he LOVES. it’s not WEAKNESS what he wants to show, but he needs to let others tend to him.
he just doesn’t want her to do it.
( or does he? )
" well, i am still HERE, aren’t i? “
he HATES how, with thin fingers near him, his whole body trembles with expectation. the yearning to feel her SKIN agains his is unbearable, almost overtaking his MIND for a second, all rational thoughts fleeing at the mere IMPLICATION that mary might lay a HAND on his f orehead.
how he wishes he could FORGET what has happened, ERASE the last months from their lives. what if he could go back? his insides BURN with intense want. & he hates that, too.
he tries to CONTROL himself, & he notices the SHIVER running down her spine. francis knows mary, she’s trying to show no sign that she’s COLD, but never have they been able to hide much from each other.
( does she know, then, that INSIDE him there’s only CHAOS? )
” let me find you a quilt first. “
slowly he casts the covers aside & stands up. the dizziness goes IGNORED, he cannot let her realize this is the FIRST time he’s moved so much. he's doing it because he is CHILDISH & he doesn’t want her inside his bed.
with a vacant look he offers the blanket to her, & he curses internally, for he feels tired already. yet he slids back under the covers, praying she doesn’t see it. he stares ahead, seemingly at EASE with her so close to him, though his heart is SCREAMING.
” do as you wish. “
& he’s trying not to speak too much, giving SHORT answers accompanied with COLDNESS. but the SPARK is revived when her murmurs do not conclude.
my duties never cease.
doesn’t she hear the lie? can’t she see his WOUNDS are only widening every time she talks? or is she simply MOCKING him?
” is that so? forgive me if i’m wrong, but i remember you deciding to go to SCOTLAND, leaving behind your duty, your RESPONSIBILITIES. that does not strike me as someone who would WANT to be here, you’ve made yourself very clear, mary. please, do not come here to feed me LIES, i don’t think i can take it anymore. “
by now his stare is glued to hers.
” you can be wherever you want. just don’t expect me to welcome your newfound & STRANGE interest with OPEN arms. fondness has long left me, you would understand that. “
but god, he’s LYING. he won’t ever, not in a thousand years, stop caring for her. it’s like a CURSE, this love of him, & it will stay until the day he DIES.
His laughter is so distinctly different from the melodious sound she had once cherished & LOVED, so harsh, so very wrong & unexpected, she jumps ever so slightly. Everything within her hates the sound of it, & she realizes that it has been so long since she’s heard any sort of laughter leaving his lips ( it’s been so long since he has been HAPPY, since they have been happy. ) Part of her wishes to ask him what it is that he finds so amusing ( what it is that can cause such a sound ),to break the ice & ask himin not so many words to talk to her. She knows however that her question ( & her request ) will both be denied proper answers. It was sad how far they’d come— how he provided her & her country ( one & the SAME ) with troops & protection— all that she wanted but had not had a chance to ask for,yet he would not give her this, could not after everything that happened.
Another part of her wishes to leave as his laughter has rattled her, has made her realize that perhaps in her time pulling away from him, he was no longer the man she had once known ( the man she had LOVED with all her heart. ) He does not speak & she assumes it to be the dismissal she had been waiting to hear from the start, but just as she’s preparing herself to leave, he SPEAKS.
Oh but it’s what he does not say! It’s in the way he holds himself, in the way he keeps his { d i s t a n c e }, in the way his fist trembles ( & with it, her heart. )
How can she leave?
How could she have ever thought she could?
Once before she had left him in order to save him,to keep him alive, for even the thought of a world without Francis in it had been UNBEARABLE, & to think that his death would have come about at her hands! The thought of hurting the man she loved had been impossible—leaving everything behind had made more sense.
Yet here he was
& here she was.
In many ways, her leaving again had meant to save him from pain once again, for she was no longer the girl he had loved, & it hurt her to see him searching for her when she was no longer there. She had never imagined that the her leaving would cause such a reaction.
She had thought that in many ways, he had already thought her gone. That was how it seemed to her —- the Mary he had known was gone.
It takes all of her strength not to wrap delicate fingers around his tight fist (without you my heart is closed, tight as a fist ) & wait for them to loosen,for them to stop shaking. She need not see his eyes to know what they hide; it is an inexplicable sort of ache in her chest to know that after everything he was still protecting her ( though he does not know it, it will hurt her to see what they hold— the pain she’s caused. )
❝I chose to stay.❞
He hadn’t asked but she still answered. She’ll say it enough times until he believes her, will stay at his side long enough for him to see the truth to her words.She waits for him to answer,fingers hovering between them as if to close the d i s t a n c e, to make sure that he would be okay, but when he does, she allows it to fall, thinking it to be a denial to her request.The corner of her lips pull up in a half-hearted smile at his words. He cannot know how worried she is, how he may be here now, but she feels as if she can lose him at any moment.
But he does know.
❝I too am still here, am I not?❞
An echo of his own words, for he looks at her the way she no doubt looks at him. He thinks she will still leave, though his doubts are veiled by anger & mistrust. She cannot blame him, but she can use it to help him understand.
He surprises her with a gentleness she had not expected. His words remain distant, but there’s a softness in the mere thought of him providing her warmth ( in seeing her shiver& being unable to simply sit& not do anything )that she no longer feels the harsh cold. It’s as if she can b r e a t h e a little easier, yet when she opens her mouth it’s as if something is caught in her throat, not allowing her to protest, to tell him that he needs to remain in bed, to tell him she was FINE ( or perhaps she can no longer lie to him, is sick of all the falsities between them. )
She doesn’t tell him that she can see the toll the simple action had taken ( he does not want to hear it, she knows that ). Instead, fingers numbly take the proffered blanket & everything within her seems to THAW as she wraps it around her frame, a small sigh escaping her lips.
A sigh that catches, surprise causing dark eyes to WIDEN infinitesimally.
He had not said no.
She had so clearly taken his lack of response to be one of rejection! She nods once, closing the distance between them with outstretched hand ( can he see how it shakes just a little bit? ) before allowing it to slowly fall upon his forehead ( how many times had she placed small kisses here? How many times had she let her own forehead rest against his & felt utterly safe, happy? ).
She realizes that in his eyes, this is the first time she’s touching him in what feels like too long. He does not know of the times she’d held his hands & asked him to come back to her & with this revelation comes a sense of shyness she cannot explain. She wishes to break the silence in hopes of him not noticing.
❝Thank you.❞
She puts as much sincerity into the two words as she possibly can—- for the blanket, for allowing her to check on him, for living.
Mary visibly relaxes the moment she feels the blessedly cool skin & her smile is no longer half-hearted ( though still weak from disuse ) as she pulls back.
❝The fever has broken, thank God.❞
But now her eyes are finally able to look at him, at the way he’s looking at her, & the smile is gone as quickly as it had come.Each word is like a blow to her person, but she takes it in silence, for he is finally talking. Anger was good, anger was so much better than cold indifference & muted agony kept at bay.
❝You cannot truly believe that. My responsibilities do not solely exist in France. I was returning to my country as is my right & duty. They have needed their QUEEN for quite some time & I— I needed some time to breathe, to think, to be away from— away from everything.❞
It is PRIDE that will not allow her to admit the last truth— she needed to be away from the haunting memories,the hallways she had once run in,the guards she no longer trusted, the very place her life had nearly been ripped away from her.
❝It was never my intention to hurt you. In many ways, I thought I was doing you a kindness.❞
Her next words are gently spoken, as if she knows that one wrong word will ruin whatever fragile thread existed between them.
❝I cannot blame you for that, I’m merely surprised it took so long.❞
How can she blame him for losing what love had existed between them? She had known all along that he would have tired of waiting, & realized that she was no longer the same girl, the same woman that he had married.Her DISTANCE, her inability to find that girl ( herself ) would surely have led them here eventually.
But she still CARES, it’s simply different. One cannot STOP caring, one cannot simply stop loving, one could however be unable to return love. But she cannot tell him that, not when all he hears are LIES.
❝Earlier, you wanted to ask me why I was here. I could see it in your eyes & yet you didn’t. I think it’s because no matter what it is I say, you think you already have your answer.Whatever I say you will only believe to be lies.❞
If she tells him the TRUTH now, that she does still care, always has, he will assume her words to be a lie borne out of guilt or gratitude.While both emotions were not amiss, they were not reasons.
❝I once begged of you not to ask questions you did not want to hear answers to, do you remember?❞
It feels like a LIFETIME ago & in many ways, it has been.
❝I ask the same of you once more.❞
antisavicr said: iS KATE AND JULIET A THING I CAN SHIP???????? OH MY GOD nobiliism said: WILL & LYRA ARE SO IMPORTANT OK
; scorned.
- IDK MAN BUT IM DOIN IT NOW LMAO - YES THEY ARE OH MY GOD COME TALK TO ME ABOUT MY CHILDREN -- THE ORIGINAL OTP
okay but maybe brooke davis? and hmm nancy botwin? CAROLINE FORBES
Guess my top 10 characters
1. brooke davis2. f.r.i.e.n.d.s.3. one tree hill4. NANCY BOTWIN5. glee6. teen wolf7. the mindy project8. the vampire diaries9. hanna marin10. caroline forbes
nobiliism liked this for a starter
The Rose kept her gaze focused on the garden. She enjoyed the beauty of the French Court. She thought that the court was perfect. Much better than The Spanish Court she was in when she was a child.
Her return was without fanfare. She didn't need anyone to notice really. She just wanted to enjoy the court for as long as she could.
Walking through the halls toward the garden's, she heard someone call her name. Turning, she saw the King walking toward her.
"Your Majesty. What can I do for you?"
[4/19/15, 2:21:50 PM] Sari: I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CALL IT FROYO [4/19/15, 2:21:52 PM] Sari: GET OUT [4/19/15, 2:21:59 PM] Sari: NOW IM PISSED [4/19/15, 2:22:02 PM] liz. : omg im laughing so hard [4/19/15, 2:22:08 PM] tink: bUT I WANT TO OPEN UP A LORD OF THE RINGS THEMED FROZEN YOGURT SHOP AND CALL IT FROYO BAGGINS [4/19/15, 2:22:10 PM] tink: IS THAT SO WRONG [4/19/15, 2:22:17 PM] liz. : omg tink [4/19/15, 2:22:25 PM] liz. : i sHOULD NOT BE LAUGHING THIS HARD [4/19/15, 2:22:26 PM] Sari: YES THAT'S AN AWFUL PUN [4/19/15, 2:22:29 PM] tink: i’m really passionate about this dream [4/19/15, 2:22:31 PM] Sari: NO FROYO [4/19/15, 2:23:06 PM] Sari: What flavors would there be? [4/19/15, 2:23:13 PM] tink: okay like there would be little gummy rings obvi [4/19/15, 2:23:29 PM] tink: that you could put on things [4/19/15, 2:23:32 PM] Sari: The one froyo to fuck them all [4/19/15, 2:23:37 PM] tink: true [4/19/15, 2:23:49 PM] tink: and also like all employees have to dress up [4/19/15, 2:23:49 PM] Sari: Can that be your tagline [4/19/15, 2:23:59 PM] tink: please i am a family friendly establishment
( nobiliism || ♕ )
“ come on, little brother, lighten up. it’s not my fault that You are a magnet for crazy women who want to destroy your life & break your heart. I just have a better radar than you. Oh & you don’t know how to tell someone to just Fuck Off ”
