#noble--truth

[leechlover049]

[metalzerotruck]

💋 + noble--truth

Send me a 💋+a URL on anonymous and my muse will kiss their muse

Truck and Adam were gone for a long time, and it made Nick nervous. Rationally, he knew there was no reason for it--Truck knew everything that had happened between him and Adam, and Nick and Adam had talked through everything that happened since. There were no secrets left to reveal, no apologies left to make, except for the one Nick would always feel he owed, no matter how many times Adam accepted it. And yet he still couldn’t feel comfortable. Maybe it was because he had hurt Adam so deeply, and still he hadn’t gotten what he deserved for it. Adam didn’t hate him like he should, and Nick didn’t know what to do with that.

He was realizing that a part of him had always counted on Adam’s anger and pain, because it was another reason for Nick to hate himself, to hate Ozone. It was all part of what he thought he deserved for the things he’d done in the name of his work. He didn’t deserve Adam’s forgiveness, he didn’t deserve Truck’s love, and the happier he became, the more unsustainable his life felt. The more he knew he needed to make a change, to become someone who deserved all the happiness that had been given to him.

If Truck and Adam came back at odds, if they somehow found something in each other to hate, if Adam saw Truck’s happiness and became jealous or if Truck decided that he couldn’t go on loving Nick anymore, it would only be what Nick deserved. It would make sense for Adam to come back and restore balance to Nick’s karma, after all.

But when the two men came back from their walk, laughing at some joke they shared, Nick realized it wouldn’t be that easy. He watched Truck throw an arm around Adam’s shoulder and kiss his cheek while they laughed, and he knew. The universe wasn’t going to punish him for everything he had done. He would need to find a way to make those amends himself, and that was going to be infinitely harder.