A few doodles from my new fic, New Perspectives. My proofreader insisted I had to draw Edward in the beanbag chair, and I figured I may as well fill the page with a few other scenes from the story.
I have come to the conclusion that I need a better James design for this AU, the look I have him for Haunts just doesn't have enough zaz to it for a normal James design.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I'm just going to have an unsolicited rant about A03 etiquette on here for a moment, because unfortunately for me the person who commented this logged in as a guest so I'm not sure if responding to them on A03 would notify them.
Nothing makes my day like receiving a comment on A03, and I love you all. I try and respond back to everyone (even if I am a bit slow sometimes). Nice comments keep me motivated to write and lets me know that you all want to see more from me.
Which makes it very disappointing when I open my phone to receive a notification like this.
...
I have no words.
It's not like it's a relevant insult to the fic. They havn't explained themselves. I don't get it.
I expect this behaviour from the Star Wars fandom unfortunately, it is why I left it. The good news with the Star Wars fandom is nine times out of ten you are commenting at an adult, this fandom randomly commenting things like this is more likely to find a child's ears.
I am aware of this. I try not to swear in my fics, I overwarn for adult content. I respect the fandom space I am in.
Luckily, I am an adult, but imagine for the moment this sort of comment was sent to a child who could be posting on A03. I posted on A03 as a child, comments like this in the Star Wars fandom were why I stopped writing for several years before falling in love with it again in this fandom.
This is a child's fandom. If you found my fic through this website, and this was you who left this comment I strongly suggest that you think before you comment. When I was a child, I was suicidal, receiving a comment to graphically kill myself on something I have spent at least 40 hours writing and editing would not have been great for my mental health at that age. Luckily I am old enough to just be angry about someone having the gall to post something like that rather than take it to heart.
This is a memo to take the words of Thumper to heart.
In other words, thanks for everyone who has left lovely comments on my writing. I'll get back to you all later when I have calmed down.
If this comment, or comments like it, were made by you, you should feel very bad about it.
This isn't a PA against leaving comments on my fics, I really do love them. They make my day when they're not comments like this.
This was the original draft for New Perspective, before I decided that the thing turning them human being an invention worked far better for the story I wanted to tell rather than it being happenstance.
I somehow also managed to get from the story being Gordon and Henry themed to it being Edward themed, which I still think was a brilliant improvement.
You can see how many ideas I took from this into the series I ended up writing.
[Once again, not proofread, so please excuse the spelling and grammar mistakes)
--
Kissing his wife goodbye, Ted left his house and began to walk down the street towards Vicarstown sheds. Moving Henry here had been far more convenient for him, as much as the move had been made with other intentions, he couldn't say that he minded the change.
The crisp winter air woke him up as he walked and he wrapped his jacket closer. He loved having Henry, he did, but it would be nice, once in a while if someone else took the kipper and he got to lie in, just once. He turned the corner and walked towards the sheds, opening the door carefully.
It was quiet inside, and that wasn't unusual for this time of the morning. All three of the engines kept here should be asleep at this time of the day and he didn't like to wake them up any earlier than needed too. He especially didn't want to wake up the engine his wife claimed as hers, for Gordon was a sort who far preferred to sleep in.
It seemed too quiet though, Ted thought, almost as if it was lacking the soft noises that the engines made when they were sleeping. He glanced up sceptically at Gordon who was usually the loudest in his sleep wondering what had made him so quiet.
Was it just him? Or did Gordon's face look different in the shakey light of moonlight? Almost like it wasn't there? Had the sharpness of his nose lessened? Or was it just a trick of the light?
He shook his head and turned to climb in Henry's cab to start his fire. Gordon wasn't his buisness, he needed to focus on Henry first to get him ready for the Kipper. He climbed up in the dark, trying not to wake Henry up. The engines always far preferred it if they were woken up by warmth in their firebox rather than by noisy humans, and Ted couldn't blame them, he would rather have an extra five minutes asleep if the world allowed for it.
Holding a torch up, he climbed into Henry's cab, only to shout in surprise when he saw a man, curled up against the back of the cab, completely and totally asleep. Cautiously, Ted inched forwards, analysing the man and hoping that he wasn't the aggressive sort. Easily the man cleared six foot, and was large and muscular. Ted had little doubt that if things were going to go south, the mystery man would win in any fight.
Carefully, Ted lent down, surprised when the smell of alcohol didn't taint the air. Surely someone wouldn't be dumb enough to? Would they? Had this man intentionally entered the shed and decided to curl up and sleep inside one of the engines? It just didn't make any sense.
When he'd entered into the sheds he hadn't noticed a sign of a break in, and if someone was going to break in, why not wait for one of the summer nights where the shed doors would be left open? Security was not often an issue, most people respected the engines enough not to bother them.
Bending down slowly, he turned to tap the man lightly with the edge of his shoe, afterall, he did need to light Henry's fire, or else there would be no chance of him warming up to do the Kipper run in a few hours, and this man was in the way. He squinted at him, there was something familiar about his face, but he was sure he would remember meeting someone with a stature like this.
When the man muttered, but did not move, Ted grabbed his torch and held it in the man's face, knowing the bright light would cause him to react. Surely enough, the man blinked his eyes open, holding his hand instinctively infront of his eyes. Ted then watched, as the man stared at his hand, flexed it, before stating up at Ted in absolute terror. Swiftly he scooted back into the corner and stared to hyperventilate keeping his eyes closed firmly.
Ted sighed, "Come on man, what did you expect when you came up here? I need to get this engine moving."
The man raised his eyebrow at him, still not totally calm, but rather paying attention to what he was saying.
"I can't let you stay up here." Ted continued, "It's breaking all sorts of health and safety rules, and you've picked the engine who will be bothered by that. I'm shocked you got up here without waking him up to be honest."
"Tell me I'm dreaming." The man said in the corner, in a voice that was very familiar to Ted. He shook his head, there was no way.
"Because the only thing that's stopping me panicking is the fact that I'm asleep right now. Right fireman?" He looked up hopefully.
Ted took a step backwards, and then another one, until he climed out of the cab. Perhaps Gordon's face missing had not been a trick of the light, but rather… no. He was being ridiculous. How could that happen?
Slowly he shone his light up to where Henry's face should be to find nothing there, and he screamed. Was this some sort of horror movie? Because his engine had either died overnight, or turned into a human and he really didn't want either to be true.
He wasn't sure how long he screamed for, but he soon found another man standing infront of him, also tall and muscular and telling him off for making a racket and waking engines up in a rather disapproving tone.
Upon closer inspection Ted figured that the man must be Gordon, "Do you not have other priorities?" Ted snapped at him.
Gordon stuttered for a moment, before abruptly silencing.
"And why are you not freaking out about this?"
Shrugging Gordon answered, "Because I am asleep."
"I really hope I am." Ted sighed in despair.
In the meantime, Henry had carefully climbed down from his cab and was using his coupling rods to steady himself as he walked towards Gordon and Ted. He smiled nervously, "I think this is far too realistic to be a dream Gordon."
"Propopsterous." Gordon said, crossing his arms. "Completely ridiculous. It makes far more sense to be a dream Henry."
"I mean, it could be magic." Henry waved his arms, putting them back down when Gordon glared at him.
"Just because you belive in the magic of some steam engine that Thomas is convinced he met Henry, do not drag me into it. I am not wasting a dream listening to you prattle on about magic engines."
"Magic Engines?" Ted questioned, lost at Gordon and Henry's conversation.
"Lady. She watches out for us." Henry said confidently.
Glaring Gordon cut him off, "You can't tell humans about it."
"I thought you didn't belive in it." Henry said, "Sounds like you do."
"Being sensible of superstition isn't the same as believing in it." Gordon stated.
Henry raised his eyebrow sceptically.
Gordon sighed, "Is it such a bad dream, afterall, we can touch like this." He pulled Henry towards him, catching him as he stumbled, "We can have what the humans have."
"You seem rather sold on this being a dream." Henry said, glancing over to his fireman, "I'm not so sure."
"Sorry." Ted started, "Are you two debating some engine diety?"
Gordon said "No." At the same time that Henry said, "Technically." They turned to glare at each other.
"Not my buisness then." Ted fumbled for his phone in his pocket, and called someone he trusted to deal with this situation, his wife. He was not going to ring the Controller until someone else turned up and he could confirm this wasn't some hallucination.
"I'm not in today, am I?" She answered the phone, yawning.
"No." Ted drifted off, glancing at the metaphorical engines in the room, "But either I'm asleep, and this doesn't matter, or I'm having some mass hallucination, and I'd like to know if it's the latter."
"That's not concerning." She said, "Show me."
Carefully he turned on his camera and held it up to show Gordon and Henry.
"Did two people break in?" She said.
"Not… not exactly." He then lifted up the camera to show Gordon's blank smokebox door.
She gasped, "What happened? My poor engine, I thought he was doing better."
Gordon pricked up at the sound of his driver's voice, "I'm fine." He said gruffly. He glanced suspisciously at where her voice had come from, "That's a strange looking telephone." He said.
"Gordon, they've looked like that for over a decade." Henry stated, rolling his eyes.
"Well I've never seen one." Gordon insisted. "I think I'd remember them looking like that.
"My driver uses his all the time and then blames me for not being observant enough." Henry insisted, "It's rather annoying, I can't see everything."
Sam gasped down the phone, "Did Henry just say that his driver uses his phone while operating."
Ted shrugged, "We don't see eye to eye, I've told you."
"Let me talk to Henry." She demanded, "I can't believe someone would be so careless, I don't even trust Gordon to see everything, they're not infallible."
He laughed as he passed his phone over to Henry, sensing he wasn't going to know what hit him. Switching the camera to front facing he carefully placed the phone in Henry's hands, "Don't break my phone please." He said, he glanced back up towards the Number Three engine, "And I should probably start your fire, just in case this all is a hallucination." He muttered to himself as he climbed back into the cab.
Gordon looked at the screen sceptically, trying to turn it so that he could look better. "This is the strangest telephone I've ever seen, I can see driver on it."
"Don't touch it." Henry snapped at him pulling it away, "They're fragile."
"Don't worry." Sam said, "If it can survive a baby, it can survive being dropped, anyway, what do you mean, your driver uses his phone while operating you. What is he doing? You can't see it, can you?"
"No. Fireman has told him off before, and when I've breaked too harshly the phone has broken." He shook his head, "I have to do all of the work for driver, and if we're late for any reason it's always my fault." His voice raised in pitch, "And he takes unauthorized breaks in stations and then blames me for it, and it really doesn't seem to matter what I say, because nobody believes me."
"I'll raise the issue for you." Sam said, "He shouldn't be using his phone while operating you, it could cause an accident."
"I know." Henry answered glumly, "I think fireman has complained about it before and nothing has been done, but I appreciate the effort."
"Doing better." Gordon looked up at his blank smokebox muttering to himself, and then back at the phone, suddenly seeming to take offence to what she had said, "What do you mean, doing better?" He guestured, "You can't think I was going to just give up, can you?"
"I mean…" She drifted off, "I don't think that I saw you smile in two months, and you seemed so sad, and you wouldn't talk to us about it. What was I supposed to think?"
"You didn't?" Henry said, glancing up at him.
"Well, I…" He drifted off, he crossed his arms and drummed his fingers lightly against his arm, "I don't like change."
"Which is why I am shocked you are not bothered about this."
"Easy. I'm asleep." Gordon answered confidently.
"Sure of that are you?" Sam asked, raising her eyebrow, "I question myself if I could come up with this dream."
They all drifted off into silence for a moment before Gordon broke it, grabbing Henry by the arm and dragging him towards his own cab. He climbed up easily, pulling Henry behind him. Henry looked around the cab, "This is so strange." He said. He reached his fingers out towards the controls inftont of him, "Seeing the controls like this."
Gordon to Scotsman: "I'm ashamed of you, Scotsman."
Scotsman: "I know. I'm sorry."
Gordon: "comparing my deep, profound and unending love to a mere crush!"
Gordon then proceeds to go on a rant until he has to leave about how what he feels for Henry cannot simply be described as a crush. Scott sighs and decides in that moment that his teasing wasn't really worth it.
All of my current Engine Driver OC's from my Engine Stories.
I love all of these characters so much, and have as much fun writing them as I do the engines.
Ted Whitworth
The only cannon character here. He's a cheerful man with a deep concern for his engine. He is married to Sam and has a child with her. It is a source of debate between them whether she will grow up to drive Gordon or Henry.
Sam Doncaster
The Doncaster family have worked with Gordon for generations, and Sam is so proud of the fact that she refused to change her last name when she got married. She is the doting sort and treats Gordon much the way that she does her own child, sweet talking him and letting him get away with close to murder. Her compassion can only be matched by her loyalty, the only way to bring out the harsher side of her personality is to threaten the ones that she loves. She is stubborn and will often fight to the death over what she believes in, not seeing the wrong in her methods until it's too late.
Arthur Thompson
Arthur is an bitter and jaded old man with a short fuse with little time for foolishness or fun. He has worked for the railway all of his life and with Gordon for most of that time. Some of the other drivers say that all this time spent with Gordon has rubbed off on him, as he is as bitter and gruff as the engine he drives. The oppertunity to be a driver has been presented to him many times, but he often declines citing that the true hard work in an engine is to keep their fire burning.
All of his anger and bitterness however hides his true compassionate nature. He is a family man and will rush to the aid of anyone he judges to be worthy of his time, often thinking outside of the box to come up with solutions that please everyone. Often, on his days away from the railway he can be found with his son and autistic granddaughter helping her learn the ways of a world that doesn't always embrace different. When people meet her, they often think it explains much about Arthur, even as he insists there was no such thing in his day.
Despite working on a locomotive, Arthur has a strong dislike for modern technology. He thinks that the world was right in the age of steam and will blind himself to the advance of modern technology, often belittling those who rely heavily on it.
He has trained many young staff on the railway, the longest serving fireman he is and despite his attitude is owed much respect from the other people working on the railway. Everyone agrees that when he retires he will be a lost asset for the company.
Robyn Barlow
The youngest member of the ensemble, Robyn is fierce and outspoken and doesn't know the meaning of the word volume control. She is often heard before she is seen and is rarely quiet, a real social butterfly. She has a rather short temper, and was paired with calm Hikaru to help her learn restraint, although most of the time she can be found voicing displeasure before Hikaru has worked up the courage to voice it. She enjoys working with James, but hopes to be a relief driver when she is fully qualified, so that she can spend time with all the engines on the island.
Hikaru Akahoshi
Moved from Japan to Sodor as a very young child, Hikaru is the quietest and least outspoken of the crew members, lacking confidence and social skills he can often be outshouted and overlooked leaving him to often feel very alone and isolated. After starting a relationship with Bert he has drifted from his family as they are disappointed that he is not going to give them grandchildren, and he doesn't have the energy to fight to keep them in his life.
It is rare to see Hikaru smile, if you ask him he would tell you that he feels like his life has existed under a black cloud. Those who know him well know that he struggles with his mental health even if he has never been diagnosed with any mental health issue. Hikaru doesn't see the point of coming forward as he feels a diagnosis may threaten his job and he views James as one of his closest friends. James and Hikaru view their relationship more like a partnership rather than the traditional relationship between a driver and an engine. This approach works well with James and makes him work harder, as he wants Hikaru to be rewarded for his work and he loves being fussed over and praised for a job well done.
Secretly Hikaru is a romantic, and would often listen to audio books as he shut down his engine night after night. He has given his engine quite the taste for trashy romance, much to the bane of everyone around him as James makes a mission of his life to quote trashy romance at people.
His job file marks him as a strong asset to the railway, even if it is underlined that he needs to work on his confidence skills.
Bert Wickham
If Bert was an animal, he would be a golden retriever, tall, lanky, clumsy and full of energy it is hardly a shock to anyone that he managed to lose his job as a driver on the North Western by being reckless and helping cause the destruction of Tidmouth Sheds. This of course caused him great conflict with his family, disappointed in him for being the first Wickam in several generations to not work with James.
Upon investigation, it was decided that perhaps his dismissal was unfair, and he was offered to start again from the bottom, cleaning engines to work his way back up the company with the hope that he learns slightly more in the way of responsibility on the way. Bert, however, is incapable of thinking though any action to its logical concequences, so this future is unlikely. Luckily for Bert, he likes being a washdown attendant, and is praised by most of the engines on the island for being the best at his craft. He however does pay special attention to James, and makes his paintwork shine the brightest.
Many remark that Hikaru is a different person around Bert, often coming out of his shell and interacting with co workers in the way that he won't on his own. If asked, Bert just proclaims that you can only spend so many hours in a cab with each other before you break down even the feircest walls that people build up.
A Human Thing - https://archiveofourown.org/works/64401697
Sam cooed up at her engine, standing on the platform in front of him. “What's wrong, sweetheart?” she asked gently. “Are you hurt?”
“No,” he answered softly, trying to hide the waver in his voice.
“Do you want us to call in another engine for you?” she asked.
“No,” he answered with a small voice.
She jumped off the platform to land carefully on his buffer beam. She sat and rested her head against his. “Nobody will think less of you, darling,” she said. “Everyone gets upset sometimes.”
“I'm fine,” he said, taking a breath, trying to steady himself. “I'm fine,” he repeated with more confidence.
I should probably post this. This is my first alternate draft for the idea behind Loops and the Human Avatar thing before I decided that story was better told from Gordon's POV.
There's a few good lines in here, so it may as well be uploaded rather than sitting in my drafts. (Ignore the grammar mistakes, my proofreader hasn't gone over it).
The original version of this was going to be focused a lot more on Henry's anxieties and what it means to doubt yourself to the point of not even having any confidence in your own abilities. When you go along with everything just to keep the peace, act just how people expect you to, at somepoint you begin to doubt what about yourself, it anything, is the real you.
--
It wasn't that Henry didn't like Gordon, that was as far from the truth as it could be, but he just want sure if he loved Gordon the way that Gordon loved him. Engines shouldn't be able to feel love. That was a fact, something he had always known.
Engines shouldn't have wants. Engines shouldn't have desires. Engines should be nothing more than servants to their drivers.
Gordon, of course, had all of these ideas, and Henry warned him that ideas were dangerous. Ideas were how you ended up getting yourself bricked into tunnels and getting abandoned. Ideas were how you got yourself embarrassed infront of everybody. Ideas were dangerous, and that was all there was to it, and it didn't matter how or why they were carried out.
Once upon a time, Henry had been a proud engine. Broken and faulty, but still proud. Time and experience had dulled that pride until it only existed as a jagged knife, often turned inwards to insult himself but never outwards.
There was no point being proud. Not anymore.
And back then, all that he had wanted was to stay looking proud, looking good, all so that you couldn't look harder and find the broken thing that lay beneath the facade. For he was a broken engine, saved by necessity alone. He would have asked Gordon if he had broke down on purpose that day, but even he knew that was a step too far. Once upon a time they'd all had to prove their worth constantly to stay alive. Things had been different then.
For a further insult they had painted him blue, making him like everyone else. There was nothing to be proud of when it showed up how he fell short mode than his green paint ever had.
They didn't value individuality. Not back then.
Gordon's ideas, they saw him as something worthy, something better than good. Henry had never been worthy, not once in his life.
Why did Gordon think him worthy, it didn't make sense.
Of course, there were many things Henry loved about Gordon, one being the way that Gordon respected him. Gordon still, after all of this time, treated him like an equal. Like he was a big engine and worthy of the prestige that came with it and not like he was some mistake.
How was Henry sick of feeling like a mistake.
But with them being together now… Things had changed.
And then James came to him, asking for advice of all things. How was Henry an expert, he had accidentlied himself into this relationship, and didn't he know how messed up and wrong it was to want like this.
They were engines. They should not want.
Why couldn't anyone else understand how wrong it was to want?
"How did you know." James had asked him, for once in his life without intention to mock. How did you know?
How did he know?
Things had just happened, and Henry had gone along with them because they were easy. Loving Gordon was easy. Going along with it was easy.
"It seemed like the right thing to do." Was his answer after a long pause.
James frowned at him, clearly not expecting that answer. "Henry are you-"
"I'm fine." Henry snapped out, "Why wouldn't I be?"
This whole being moved thing, Henry still didn't like it. He still felt very isolated from everyone else, like he was one step from being tossed off the island. How long had it been since he'd seen Edward Thomas or Percy? Edward stuck on his own side of the island, and Henry not remaining on the island long enough to run into the other two.
He just had Gordon, and Rosie, he supposed, but he had never been close to the small engine, and she did not know him in the way that the others did.
Henry had always thought that he mattered precious little. Maybe he had just chosen this path to keep Gordon happy.
Over and over his mind drifted to the other back five, and he wondered if the Gresey madness was real. Why did Gordon think that they deserved to love like this? Why did he think? Why did they think? Why did they need to think?
What gave them the purpose? What gave them the right?
What cruel - What happened to make them alive? They didn't need to be alive? There was no point. They were powerless without the humans, lived at their mercy, died at their will.
Sometimes Henry did wonder if they'd put a tank engines personality into his frame. He did not suit his frame, it was loud, and hulking, making a presence with the railways, as much as most days all he wanted to so was blend in.
He was not the pride of the line. That was Gordon's role, and it forever would be.
