#node 8

[luvrsagony]

ugh i'm just gonna make a straight up lorepost about these fuckers so people can have like. CONTEXT lmfao

okokokok so i don't have their world built fully so i'll add more context to this post in Da Future but uh!!! heeh!!

the overall world tag is #node 8.

also don't mind how these are all picrews im 2 lazy to draw

in order of eldest to youngest:

andrei, yulian, ilya, vitaliy (or vitya), dmitriy (or dima)

ok so: this is andrei!! eldest of the katayev family. his tag will be #🦋andrei katayev. he's the hard-hitter and uber loyal to ilya's tech conglomerate, although handles the.. shadier parts. a.k.a, his best friends are a rusty switchblade and experimental drugs. an ex-addict himself, ilya pulled him from the dredges of the streets and cleaned him up. his non-existent morality means he's easily the scariest person to deal with, and if you cross him.. good luck leaving with all of your fingers.

this is yulian, second eldest of the katayev family. his tag is #💊yulian katayev. a soft-hearted and spoken person, although has a huge nasty streak when it comes to those who oppose him, or, if you're ilya, if you exist in his general vicinity. head doctor in the ER department of node 8's largest hospital. a serial flirt, and often sleeps around with any of his residents or nurses. gender? doesn't matter, as long as you're a pliant sub and willing to let it slide that he's non-committal in his "relationship".

now, i'm saving the boy who started it all for last, so.. this is vitya (in the back) and dima (in the front). their tags will be #🧷vitya katayev and #🚬dima katayev, respectively. vitya's the twin with a penchant for chaos, and dima kinda just goes along with it. vitya and dima attend the same college, with vitya going for engineering and dima going for psychology. they're attending on a full ride scholarship on both sides, but ilya obviously helps out with transportation and money and such. vitya has a tendency to kiss up more to ilya than dima, but dima is hands-down a full on yulian hater. he was the one who tipped ilya off to his wife's affair with yulian after seeing them together, which has made his already-shoddy opinion of his elder brother practically turn to dust.

speaking of.. this is cherry nagirachi, ilya's ex-wife. her tag is #🍒cherry nagirachi. she and ilya were high-school sweethearts.. or, appeared to be. she was simply using him to get to her crush, yulian, and the affair had been going since the day of their honeymoon. she was addicted to being a ceo's wife, and tried to manipulate ilya into continuing to be married to her while starting an "open marriage". he denied it, denounced her name as his wife, and divorced her, leaving her with nothing but a tattered reputation in her industry (modeling) and a non-committal "boyfriend" who blows her off for the newest nurse or resident he's having a fling with. she's upset, and hellbent on ruining ilya's life now.

now.. time for the Boy.

this.. is ilya katayev. his tag is #💲ilya katayev. CEO and founder of the biggest tech conglomerate node 8 has ever seen, focusing mainly on neurological prosthetics and full-on androids. he's got all of the money in the world he could ask for, but still has a hole in his heart that he can't fill that had formed with the news of cherry's betrayal. he's currently in a relationship with his bodyguard, liliana, who makes him feel more seen than cherry ever did. he's tall and muscular, but truly the biggest softie you'd ever see, with nothing but a heart of gold and a list of trauma that could rival the great wall of china or the average CVS receipt.

[obscurejavascript]

Node.js Async Hooks

This allows you to directly track all async calls and where they are going. Unlike alot of other tactics, this does not require modifying the original code that needs to be tracked. Firstly, here is a simple HTTP server:

const http = require('http'); http.createServer((req, res) => { res.end('hello\n'); }).listen(5000); console.log('The HTTP server was started on port 5000'); // Result of: curl localhost:5000 // hello

If an async hook is created and enabled before the script, all the events can be tracked:

const async_hooks = require('async_hooks'); const fs = require('fs'); const asyncHook = async_hooks.createHook({ init: (asyncId, type, triggerAsyncId, resource) => { // Using console would trigger hooks which would trigger infinite recursion // console.info(asyncId, type, triggerAsyncId, resource); fs.writeSync(1, `${type} ${resource} \n`); } }); asyncHook.enable(); // When the server is started with the above first: // Event: TCPSERVERWRAP // Event: TickObject // The HTTP server was started on port 5000 // Event: TickObject

The TickObject represents each time the JavaScript even loop is incremented and new processing is done. That code can be put into a separate file. So to track parts of code a file can just be imported (asyncHook.disable can be used to stop tracking). For example, this is how to track when timeout callbacks are called and what those callbacks are:

const asyncHook = async_hooks.createHook({ init: (asyncId, type, triggerAsyncId, resource) => { if (type === 'Timeout') { const stack = new Error().stack; fs.writeSync(1, `Callback: ${type} ${resource._onTimeout.toString()} \n`); fs.writeSync(1, ` Location: ${stack} \n`); } } }); // asyncHook being defined in code snippet above asyncHook.enable(); http.createServer((req, res) => { setTimeout(() => { console.log('Running an async event'); }); res.end('hello\n'); }).listen(5000); // Run this in another CLI tab: // curl localhost:5000

There will be a few other timeout callbacks (called via libraries), but near this middle should be the one defined above and it will say exactly where it is called from.

Anyways, although this API is only for Node 8+ and is experimental, it is still useful for analyzing code performance and other characteristics. Especially when a lot of libraries and async calls are used.

Github Location: https://github.com/Jacob-Friesen/obscurejs/blob/master/2018/asyncHooks.js

[my-favourite-zhent]

Good to see you. Killed any more beasts out there?

Olly is precious and must be protected at all costs.

[my-favourite-zhent]

Node 8, Node 2

Well aren't you a cold one - making threats like you can back 'em up.

Perhaps you are more useful to me alive.

[luvrsagony]

Heeyyy so were like. Soft mutuals? Im pretty sure we only followed each other for posting transmasc solidarity lol. But kn the wake of ur deluge of bs to deal with i thought id share a game me n my friends play with you. Its called Q&A and basically we send each other ov questions and answer them like were at a convention panel. So with that in mind:

1. What is an element of your story that was the most difficult to film?

2. Who was your initial dream cast for your blorbos?

3. What do you think people get the most wrong about your story?

1. i'm gonna assume film means, like, capture?? in essence idrfc LMAO but!! i think the most difficult thing to capture is like the depth of ilya's trauma, and the katayev family's traumas being russian immigrants in a post-modern world in general

2. tbfh i don't actually know. but if i had to choose at least one actor to play someone if node 8 ever got made into a real series it's neil newbon lmao. he could be like. the back alley drug dealer uncle. idfk

3. the entire thing i'm going for with node 8 is like. anti-capitalism themeing, bc at the end of it all, liliana and ilya have disappeared off the grid to go live remotely in the greek countryside. anyways all in all capitalism bad

[luvrsagony]

we know ilya loves his wife

but what do the others think of her?

andrei likes her!! he had a particularly nasty opinion of cherry, and actually recommended her to be ilya's bodyguard during the divorce, and is happy it stuck!! liliana is like a sister to him :>

yulian is indifferent, if not upset/miffed. he thinks she deserves better than ilya, but is also mad that her appearance as his new paramour (what he calls her despite that cherry and ilya are divorced) is getting in the way, and that it's made cherry more clingy to him. deep down, though, he's happy.

the twins both adore her!! vitya will often bake things for her (baking is his hobby), and dima once called her mom on accident (it kinda just.. stuck though, since ilya is like his father figure).

cherry.. has nothing but the nastiest opinions of her, however.

[luvrsagony]

uuhhhh for the node 8 oc ask thingy uhhh what are. some things they like ….

uhhh i'll just go in order of their ages

andrei: anything sharp and violent. also cigarettes after sex (not the band) and drugs in general

yulian: sex (if that wasn't obvious) and various vices in regards to money. also just.. generally likes his job!

ilya: his wife. his job. his family (minus yulian)

vitya: his twin, animals, engineering, math (ew)

dima: his older brothers (minus yulian), pizza, and the smell of fresh oil paints

cherry: money, fame, power.

[luvrsagony]

dima katayev they could never make me hate you (drawing under cut cause tumblr's weird)