#noeeeee

[noeeeee]

[noeeeee]

Always remember, Love begins and ends with you - and that is always.

[noeeeee]

I think it's been too many years since I last felt this way. Maybe that's why I haven't been here in so long - because I had nothing to say, nothing to share.

I thought I finally had it figured out, but today I realised that life is still a bitch - and that's okay.

And still the best way to pour my heart out is through a random blog post.

I missed this.

[thatthingsittinginthecorner]

A MALE BLORBO WHO BREAKS THE BLUE-COLOUR RULE HELL YEAH

[noeeeee]

Pagtakbo at pagtalikod

Gusto kong tumalikod at tumakbo palayo, hindi dahil gusto ko tumakas. Kapag hindi ko ito ginawa, dadating ang araw na sasabog na lang ako dahil hindi ko na kinaya. Masyadong masakit isipin na kung noon, naging mas matapang lang sana ako, hindi ko na kailangan baguhin ang mundo para mahalin mo ako.

Gusto kong tumalikod at tumakbo palayo, hindi dahil gusto ko tumakas. Masyado na akong matagal nananatili sa gitna ng giyerang hindi ko naman ninais maging parte. Kaya kitang ipaglaban, bakit hindi? Pero anong silbi ng tapang, ng puso at ng lakas ng loob ko, kung sa simula pa lang, isinuko mo na ako?

Gusto kong tumalikod at tumakbo palayo, hindi dahil gusto ko tumakas. Nakakapagod rin pala maglakad sa tabi mo. Dahil sa bawat hakbang, nararamdaman ko, na hindi tayo parehas ng nais patunguhan. Maaaring ngayon, nasusubaybayan ko pa ang bawat hakbang mo, pero alam ko, dadating ang araw na kakaliwa ka at kakanan ako, at kailangan na naman natin ikutin ang buong mundo para magtagpo.

Gusto kong tumalikod at tumakbo palayo, hindi dahil gusto ko tumakas. Naisulat ko na ang lahat ng laman ng puso ko, pero ni isang salita, walang nagtugma sa sakit na nararamdaman ko. Ang mga salita at mga pangakong pinanghawakan ko ay binitawan ko na rin kasabay ng pag-asa ko na may patutunguhan ang lahat ng ito.

Gusto kong tumalikod at tumakbo palayo, hindi dahil gusto ko tumakas. Hinarap ko na ang katotohanan na mahal kita, at ito na yata ang pinaka nakakatakot na ginawa ko sa buhay ko. Pero hanggang dito na lang. Hanggang dito na lang ang kaya ko dahil ubos na ako. Kapag hindi ko ito ginawa, dadating ang araw na sasabog na lang ako dahil hindi ko na kinaya.

[noeeeee]

Stars

She looks at him like she looks at the stars at night: with fondness, with gratefulness in her heart. He was her favorite in the universe. And just like the stars, he was beautiful and unreachable. She has always loved him. His smile could easily melt her sorrows away and she has learned to find joy in the littlest of things because of him. It was amazingly easy to be happy when he's around. She has always loved him, but he never saw her. She was her own being who loved the world with her big heart. She has her share of bad days, but she's mostly sunshine and smiles. She was just not what he wanted, and that was okay. She has always loved him, probably more than she has words for, but she knows her place was here. Loving was not owning, she realized, and so it was enough just seeing him shine.

[noeeeee]

We are under the same sky, so remember that I'm never too far.

[noeeeee]

Bukas sana sumaya ka na. Tapos na. Tapos na ang araw-araw mong pagluha. Tapos na ang pagdadalamhati sa pag-ibig na kala mo'y hindi mawawala. Tapos na. Tapos na ang mga sandaling mas pinili mong mag-isa dahil malungkot ka. Tapos na ang pag-asang may babalik, o may babalikan ka pa. Tapos na. Tapos na ang pag-iisip, ang pagtatanong, ang panghihinayang. Tapos na dahil malakas ka. Tapos na dahil matapang ka. Tapos na. Bukas sana sumaya ka na.