Sometimes writing in English sucks bc there are so many Finnish words that aren't easily translated to English, but would make the most sense in the sentence. Like fuck you mean you don't have pyristellä? Or ylihuomenna? Fucking eteinen!!!!!!!
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Sometimes writing in English sucks bc there are so many Finnish words that aren't easily translated to English, but would make the most sense in the sentence. Like fuck you mean you don't have pyristellä? Or ylihuomenna? Fucking eteinen!!!!!!!
Hey so um.... remember this line from the Abbott crossover
I'm sure some people thought (me included) that this was just a reference to Dennis' sex tapes, that the only reason he knows about filming consent is because he doesn't want to get in legal trouble while he does his... sex escapades.
But now that we have the context of this latest episode, I think it has more to do with his time on Family Fight.
The reason why Dennis knows about consent laws is because he probably tried to get the network to not air this episode. He read that contract over and over again and found out that his meltdown would get aired no matter what. He doesn't have any rights to it now, he sold them away when he signed onto the show. So now he's afraid of being filmed without his consent, because he's afraid of humiliating himself again. That's why he was so weird in the Abbott crossover.
The sides as sharks!!
Patton — Whale shark
The whale shark is the largest known species of fish, but there's no need to be afraid. In reality it's quite a gentle giant! One of the three sharks known to be filter feeders, they swim with their mouth open trying to catch plankton. Unique to whale sharks is their tendency to eat seaweed, making them one of the only sharks to be omnivorous. Slow-moving and docile, they pose no threat to humans. Younger whale sharks are known to play with divers, and in general they like to swim close to humans.
Janus — Angel shark
Don't let the name fool you, these sharks are not innocent little angels. They're ambush predators, burying themselves in the sand or mud and waiting for their prey to come closer so they can attack. Angel sharks can extend their jaw, rapidly snapping up at their prey and digging in with their long, needle-like teeth. During the day it lies motionless on the seafloor, buried so as only its eyes are showing. Its coloration makes it easy for it to camouflage itself and remain undetected. At night it becomes more active and can be seen swimming above the bottom. Angel sharks aren't generally aggressive towards humans, but can deliver a severe bite if provoked.
Virgil — Pyjama shark
A member of the catshark family, pyjama sharks are distinguished by and named after the black stripes running along its body. They're bottom-dwellers that prefer rocky reefs and kelp beds. During the day they lay motionless in a cave or a crevice, coming out to hunt at night. When it feels threatened it curls into a ball, tail covering its head. Pyjama sharks are rather shy and skittish, meaning they don't come in contact with humans often.
Remus — Greenland shark
Greenland sharks are real freaks of nature. At an estimated 250-500 years, it has the longest known lifespan of all vertebrates. It prefers deep and cold waters, living in a just-above-freezing environment. The flesh of greenland sharks is toxic because of its high concentration of urea and trimethylamine oxide. Despite this people in Iceland produce and eat it as a delicacy known as hákarl. To make the meat safe for consumption, its fermented and then dried in a process lasting several months. Hákarl contains high amounts of ammonia; an acquired taste that usually makes first-timers gag.
Greenland sharks' coloration lets them approach their prey undetected. When they're close, it expands its buccal cavity to create a suction strong enough to swallow their prey whole. Usually their diet consists of marine mammals like seals, but their stomachs have also been found to contain remains of moose, horse and reindeer. It could very easily consume a human swimmer. That's why it's good it lives that deep, huh?
Roman — Velvet dogfish
A member of the sleeper shark family, velvet dogfish is related to greenland sharks! Little is known about them because they inhabit deeper waters difficult for humans to access. A trait that separates it from the rest of its family is its bioluminescense! It has photophores (light-emitting organs) in its stomach and tail. A glowing tail works as a lure to attract prey and a glowing stomach makes it invisible against the light when seen from below. Velvet dogfish's body is covered in scales so minuscule and close-set to give its skin a velvety appearance and texture.
Logan — Great hammerhead shark
Largest of the hammerhead sharks, great hammerheads are solitary, strong-swimming and nomadic apex predators. They have a unique way of swimming on their side that allows them to reduce drag and conserve their energy (a thing sharks must be aware of). Great hammerheads possess the largest and most complex brains of all sharks, capable of processing a diverse amount of sensory information. Its eyes are located on the ends of its head (cephalofoil), giving it a wide, almost 360 degree angle of vision. It also has an acute sense of hearing and smell, for example being able to hear prey from a distance of many kilometers. As all sharks and rays, great hammerheads possess ampullae of Lorenzini, small electrical receptors used to, among other things, detect electric signals emitted by prey. In great hammerheads these receptors are located in its cephalofoil, and because of its massive size they have a larger amount of them than other sharks do. In order to find stingrays buried in the sand, they swing their head over the sea floor in broad angles in order pick up on electrical signatures. Another function of the cephalofoil is pinning down stingrays after the first hit, making them unable to flee.
Although potentially dangerous, great hammerheads rarely attack humans, instead approaching them with curiosity.
The Abbott Elementary faculty as sharks!
Ava — Oceanic whitetip shark
This slow-moving, opportunistic requiem shark known for its long, round fins with white tips, is truly a diva of the sea. Whitetips are critically endangered as a result of accidental bycatching and intentional harvesting for their fins and meat. This doesn't stop them from slowly cruising near the surface in open water, even breaching out of the water like whales do. Its feeding method is swimming through a school of fish with an open mouth, waiting for a fish to get in before biting down. Despite their leisurely lifestyle, they can be quite aggressive if given the chance. Small fish, including pilot fish, remoras and dolphinfish, are known to follow whitetips (like the teachers follow Ava, hmmm...)
Mr. Johnson — Tiger shark
This fearless predator is often called the trash can of the sea, on account of its large, varied palate. Tiger sharks will eat anything, even in-edible man-made objects. They're solitary, nomadic creatures, comfortable swimming slowly to sneak up on their prey. Its dark markings and skin make it so they can't be recognized from the dark seabed when seen from above. Their white underbellies help camouflage them from prey below; against the sunlight they can't tell the difference. Working in the shadows, you could say ;)
Barbara — Grey reef shark
Grey reef sharks are strong, fast and protective. During the day they gather in groups, and in the night they disperse to hunt by themselves. Many of them have a specific home range they continually return to, never straying too far. Their presence can often intimidate other sharks and cause them to flee, even though grey reef sharks are more social than territorial. They only attack if they feel threatened. They'll arch their back and swim side-to-side as part of their threat display, warning the predator that they're ready to attack. It'll approach divers with curiosity and well... if you're cool it'll be fine.
One of the sharks native to Hawai'i, grey reef sharks can be worshipped as 'aumakua, family deities. Hawaiians believe their deceased family members transform into 'aumakua, which can take many different forms (sharks being one of them). 'Aumakuas watch over their descendants and keep them safe, giving them strength and guidance. What better for the mother figure of Abbott!
Melissa — Porbeagle
Porbeagle is a swift and stout predator commonly seen in the Mediterranean. It has certain evolutionary adaptations that other sharks don't, like its ability to elevate its own body temperature (8-10 ℃ / 14-18 ℉ warmer than the surrounding water!). Being warm-bodied allows it to maintain a higher speed, hunt in deeper waters for extended periods of time and enter higher latitudes in winter to exploit the food resources other sharks aren't able to. Porbeagles also exhibit play behavior, such as wrapping themselves in kelp, chasing each other and prodding, tossing or biting objects floating in the water. Lastly I have to mention the amount of parasites this shark houses.... Speaking of parasites:
Jacob — Lemon shark
Lemon shark is a highly intelligent and social shark. They move in groups going up to twenty sharks, hunting and scavenging together. Other benefits of group living are communication, protection from predators and courtship. That isn't the reason why they do it, they indeed form groups due to an active desire to be social! The groups are often sorted based on size and sex, but young lemon sharks have been known to follow bigger individuals, perhaps to learn from them where they can find prey or hide from predators. Lemon sharks have a brain relative in mass to those of a mammal or a bird, enabling them to learn from social interaction, cooperate, establish dominance hierarchies and social bonds.
Gregory — Bonnethead shark
The bonnethead shark is the smallest of the hammerhead sharks, a rather shy species with a shovel-shaped head. They occur in small schools of 15, moving constantly following changes in water temperature, even migrating to warmer waters in winter months. Schools have a distinct dominance hierarchy, ranking individuals based on sex and size. (Something about growing up in a military family...). The bonnethead is also the first known shark to be omnivorous! It swims across the seafloor trying to find crabs, shrimp and other small fish and crustaceans. During this search it also ingests lots of seagrass (over half of its gut is composed of it). One theory is that they consume seagrass to protect their stomach from the shells of the crabs they usually eat.
Janine — Epaulette shark
This small shark is unique in many ways. Its coloration acts as a camouflage and its epaulette markings on its back are an eyespot meant to deter predators. Instead of swimming, it's more comfortable "walking", which it does by swaying side to side and dragging itself forward with its fins (their gait is very similar to that of salamanders!). They spend their time on shallow reef platforms and when the tide recedes the epaulette sharks are left on bare land. This is where its most wonderful trait comes into hand: its exceptional hypoxia tolerance! Epaulette shark can survive in low (or no) oxygen conditions for 1-3 hours, by increasing the blood supply to its brain and heart, shutting off non-essential neural functions. In extreme cases it can even reduce metabolism in its own brain, deactivating its motor functions while still keeping itself alert and alive. (Insert something about Janine's weird breathing here...). They're relatively harmless to humans and adapt well to captivity, being a popular shark to be displayed in public or home aquariums. (perfect for a school field trip aye)
LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Patton and Virgil's friendship is something that fucks me up in a very special way.
What if you and your friend had nothing in common. What if they saw you as an overbearing parental figure AND an immature child who doesn't understand anything. What if they saw you as just someone to take care of, someone who's innocent and had no impact on how your life turned out to be. What if no matter how much you change they'll always see you that way. And you're not like that. Or maybe you just don't want to be.
What if they're the only one who could ever accept you, but still not take the effort to really know you. What if it's just how they are with everyone. Or what if they do have a special bond with you, but you don't understand why. What if you felt completely unworthy of their love. What if you had to declare your love for them over and over again knowing it's an uphill battle you may never win. What if they bring up new sides of you, both good and bad. What if your ways of showing affection aren't compatible. What if no matter how hard you try you'll always mess up in some way, because you are just that different. But what if you still kept trying. And you see how hard they're trying. You know they love you. And you love them.
Then what if you tried accommodating them, but instead ending up making yourself feel uncomfortable. What if loving them became foreign and wrong and awkward. What if you're just too much. What if you're not enough. What if it's not going to work. What about the memories, all they did for you. What if they helped you grow into the person you are today. What if your roots are forever intertwined, even if you grow apart.
What if you hurt your friend really badly. You didn't mean to, but you did. You should've known better. You knew they'd be hurt. You made a choice because you thought it was right. And it was right. You know your friend didn't mean to hurt you. You just wish they would listen to you, and really hear you. To see why you're hurt. Not just to offer empty consolation, but to actually see and affirm you. What if you try your best to please everyone because you've learned not to put your best friend on a pedestal, but just ending up ignoring them, taking distance, getting closer with other people. What if you didn't want there to be distance, but you knew you needed it. What if you didn't know how to breach that gap.
What if you're just too different. What if it wasn't meant to work. What if it's just something that should stay in the past. What if they're a reminder of who you used to be. And you're different now. Everything's so different now.
But it's still you two. You know them, you remember them, you think of them, you spend time with them. You work well together. And you love each other. Of course you love each other.
But it's not enough.