#nofc

[steviebergwijn]

1 national team.

[wansyahrulamry]

Finally got to selfie with my bro @roykumar1 Anything for our kid’s future bro 💕 #NOFC #betternation #HebatkanNegaraku

[aspidersprey]

Unexpected Visitor | n-of-c & aspidersprey

Finally. 

This case that had been going on for weeks finally came to an end. The clients he helped were rather obnoxious, but alongside that he had to work next to Anderson. All of their voices just stressed him out; got on his nerves. Twas a painful case, but it was finally over and done with. For the final day of the case he let John stay home and catch up on his rest since it wasn't often they had the time during those couple of weeks. When Sherlock climbed out of his cab he scuttled over to the door of the flat very quickly. He was anxious to get home into complete silence for once. But when he neared closer he noticed the door was already opened; just barely cracked. Suspicion took over him as he pushed the door open more, cautiously taking a step in and shutting the door silently behind himself before cautiously heading up the stairs. Before taking up the last step, he reached into his back pocket and brought out his pistol; ready at aim and ready to shoot. Sherlock let out a minor sigh before taking that last step and marched briskly into the flat; coming face to face with the intruder. "Why are you here?"

[ofwriter]

Jump

Character; Niall Horan Words count; 1368

“What do you think of jumping?”

“Like joy jump or what?”

“I don’t know… jump from a high place. No, it’s not a bungee jump. Just a simple jump that’s no rope tight around our legs, bring us back to reality.”

“That is mad. Nobody would do that. What make you think of it, by the way?”

“I-” “Niall, it’s time for us to go.”

“I’ll see you again.”

“Hopefully,” she whispered.

The moment he heard the news from her parents was the moment he saw his world fade in just a blink of eyes. He asked the same question again and again, asking if they were joking. And the answer he got still same.

“We’re sorry, Niall.”

Those simple words made his world faded in just a blink of eyes. He cried for the whole day – no, for the whole week. He just can’t simply swallow the truth in front of his eyes like this.

He ran to the emergency ward, leaving his parents away too far behind him. His eyes still didn’t dry from the cried he had on his way to the hospital. He looked out for her parents using his teary eyes. As his sight landed on them, he stood in front of them and kept asking why she did that.

“Why?”

“We don’t know, Niall.”

“Why?”

“We’re sorry.”

“Why?!”

At the third time he lost his control of his own voice. His voice kept getting higher each time he asked the question until his parents held him in their hands. He kept trying to get himself out of their hands, screaming her name again and again, asking why to nobody.

His mom just crying as hard as him, but still can control her feeling as she tried to calm her son down. His dad kept telling him something like ‘she’ll be safe’ ‘doctor will do the best’ ‘I promise she will be fine’. After a long time trying to calm him down, finally he stopped fighting.

His knees felt so weak, his heart and head felt hurt, his voice broken, tears didn’t stop. He was kneeled in front of the emergency ward’s door. “I should’ve known.” He kept repeat the words in a whisper, didn’t want anybody to hear it except for himself.

  It has been 3 months. 3 months since he heard the news. 3 months since the incident. 3 months since she decided to jump off from 5th floor of her apartment.

His heart broken each time he walked in front of the flat. Each time he thinks of her – of her smile, of her laugh, of her face.

But his broken heart was healing slowly as his dad kept his promise. The promise his dad ever said to him was true. The doctor did save her. He was really grateful for that. He didn’t stop saying thank you to the doctor since he told them the news. But,

“I’m sorry but we have to keep her in coma to save her life.”

That was all he heard since 3 months ago. The doctor didn’t say how long she will be in coma. He just said that she will wake up when her abdomen heal all the bruises itself. When her body tissues react and fix all the broken tissues.

He said she was lucky to have her body slammed on a car instead of road, which can take the life out of her in any second. He also said that he kept her in coma because if he let her awake soon, she might not live long enough or she will lose big part of her memories. That is kind of hurt for Niall. He can’t see his love see nothing in him but stranger that has a lot of feelings for her. He can’t see she hurt each time she tried to remember anything.

Niall slid the door open and walked into the room. His lips pulled into a small smile as he saw the familiar calm face on the bed. The face that never shows any hurt feeling. The face that always shows him smile and laugh. The face that no one ever expects her to be bullied in the school for be such a calm and happy person. The face that hid a lot of feelings behind her baggy shirt.

He put the fresh tulips into a vase, replacing the old ones – which he just bought yesterday. That’s his routine. After school he will walk to a florist near the hospital. Every day he will ask for new tulips – white, yellow, pink – and put them into the vase next to her bed. Tulips are her favourite flower for some reasons she never told Niall. He always bought her the flower even she never asks him to do that.

He just love the way she smile each time he bought her the tulips.

Niall ran his fingers on her bandaged forehead, down to her cheek then to her chin before pressed a soft kiss on her lips. His fingers traced on the fading scars on her arms. He rubbed his fingers on the scars gently, imagine they will fade behind his touch.

He pulled a chair to him, sitting as his hand didn’t release her. He just kept rubbing his fingers on her palm, caressing on her scars, kissing the back of her hand.

“I should’ve known.”

The three words he kept repeating in his head for the rest of the day until the doctor told him the good news.

“I should’ve known why she talked about it.”

The ‘jump talked’ they had at the rooftop of their high school. Before his hand called him because his teacher was looking for him. He still remembered how crazy he thought about ‘jump from high place’. He still remember that he shook his head as she was talking nonsense and he gave her a peck on her lips before walk away. He never thought of her words. He never thought how serious she was on her words.

“I should’ve known she’s being bullied.”

The day he knew she was being bullied was the day he threw his rage to everyone in the school, especially to her classmates. Three girls those are really hate her for having a relationship with him. Those girls whose really hate to see her smiling because she was happy. The girls who really hate to see her happy because she was being brilliant every time. The girls who made she thought about jumping. The girls who made she did it.

 “I should’ve known about these.”

The thought of those memories made he mad at himself. He should know his girlfriend well, because they don’t keep secret in their relationship. He should have known that she keeps too many secrets she couldn’t handle all by herself. He should have known that she needs him to let out all the feelings she had. And that was his mistake.

He never asked.

He never asked if she was okay with her school life. He never asked if she have any problem with her classmates. He never asked if she have dark secrets she kept alone.

All he did was judge everything was perfect because that was what he saw. He saw everyone like to see they’re in love. He saw everyone love to see her smiling when she received any award for being a clever girl. He missed the eyes that envied their relationship. He missed the eyes that full with envies of her achievement.

“Word couldn’t explain how sorry I am. I’m truly sorry for not being such a good boyfriend. I’m sorry for miss those bad effects on you. I’m sorry for you’re not happy when you’re not with me. I’m sorry I didn’t concern enough for you. I’m sorry, I really do.”

The words that keeps replay on his lips like a cassette. The words that rolling on his tongue without he could think about them twice. He never got tired of saying those words like they’re mantra for his day. The words that made he can’t sit in a peace until the person he asks for forgiveness to say “I forgive you.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

[ofwriter]

Fingers

Character; Zayn Malik Words count; 2036

Dear Zayn,

When you got this letter, you have to know that I’m gone for good. I’ll not take so much time, I promise. I promise we’ll see each other sooner or later. I just want you to know that the moment you told me that you’ll move to Finland because of your father’s work made my heartache. I wasn’t meant to make you feel guilty, but if you feel that, well I can’t help.

At that moment, I just want to scream to you, begging you to not leave me alone. Because, you know I’m not good at handle myself alone. But then I realized, all these times I’ve been hanging to you so much you don’t even have time for yourself. So, I let myself think that you need your own space.

What a mess I’ve been since the first time we shook hands as the start of our friendship. I keep losing my control, unable to handle my own self like an idiot and you were always there at the moments like that. Never leave me, not even once. I love it when you don’t even afraid to be friend with me.

Actually I love it the way you always stop me from mumbling the anger under my breath, asking if I’m okay when I see my crush around with someone, asking me if I have a nice day. I love the way you take care of me. When you’re gone, I don’t know what to do with myself. Sometimes I feel mad when I don’t even try to stop you, but then I keep remember myself that you didn’t choose to go away.

Remember that moment when you were there to keep me away from doing those stupid things when life brought me hard to the core? Yes, I love the moment because you professionally handle the situation well. Some people might just give a tap on the shoulder and go away. But you weren’t one of those people. You stay with me until I really stable.

Help me, I don’t want to control all these alone because God knows how weak I am. And you’re the reason why I still standing in this earth until now. I own a big time with you.

The fact that you’re really gone still got me to the ground and raging isn’t a good way to show how much I want to see you. I keep that away until I got the news. You were involved in an accident because a drunk driver.

Oh Zayn, I’m sorry I’m too weak to handle this feeling alone. What a stupid person I am. I know you always ask me to be strong, but I just can’t let it happen. Not when you’re thousand miles away from me, lying on a bed, dong nothing but struggle between live and death.

They said I got panic attack. And the attack wasn’t stop there. It kept happening each time I know that you’re still lying on the bed. Depression. That one word the doctor told my mom. And I knew what I got myself into.

The voices are back, Zayn.

The pain is back, Zayn.

Please help me, Zayn… because I’m just a hopeless bastard that can’t handle me. I need you to keep those voices away from me. Do the thing you always do when you were with me. Please make the pain gone in the way that you’re the only person that can do.

The bad thing is, the pain and voices didn’t want to go away even when the news that you’re awake reached my ears. They kept telling me that you didn’t want to see me. Because in fact you didn’t even try to see me. And today is the 5th month since you are awake. I might be insane but I’m not emotionless, Zayn.

Where are you, Zayn?

Where are you when I need you by my side?

One day I walked out of my room, after I mess everything up – almost burnt the house down. I came to see my aunt and told her to lock me away from the world. She’s happy to hear that because I never ask her to do that before. I never ask her to put me in the only place I can have the best treatment. Apart from be in a place with you, of course.

So, here I am… gone for good as I said before. I did this because I really want to see you, Zayn. I guess you’ll want to see me when I got my sanity back.

Love,

Your in-sane friend.

I crumpled the letter after millions of times reading, regretting every step I took in the last 7 months. Who knows my absent can really hurt someone? Someone I knew her unstable state. I knew I shouldn’t follow her father to the Finland, but I was 16 and I got no sensibility in my mind.

All I had done was told the news to her without thinking the bad effect of my decision.

I should know that she wasn’t as strong as my eyes saw. I should know she pretended to be that strong because didn’t want me to get worried. I should know that… that I shouldn’t leave her alone. If and only if the words ‘should know’ could change everything that happened.

And now I was standing in front of her room. Knowing she might be asleep behind the door. I took decision to go back to the UK after the letter reached my hands. I called her aunt and they said she already in the asylum since last spring. And now the summer came, leaving the spring far behind.

Gave a mean that it had been half a year since she was in there… The thought of how deep the scar I made in her heart made me felt real guilty. I leaned my head against the door. I really want to smack my head on the door, until the blood running down my forehead. No, the pain wasn’t as much as what she felt all these times.

I breath in the air, tried to give myself a strength from nowhere just to facing her. I wouldn’t know what she will do, but I hoped that she won’t kick me out of the room. I didn’t care when the nurses and doctors walking here and there while looking at me in such a weird way. I didn’t care what they said about me because in fact, I didn’t care what anyone said except her.

After I got the strength that I didn’t sure, I held the doorknob. I opened the door slowly, and my eyes met a body that was sleeping soundly on the bed. No one know how loud my heart thumping against my chest, until I worried if I would wake her up.

I took a seat on the side of her bed. Fingers were stroking the hair that covered half of her face. No one know how much my love for this girl in front of me, how much I want the things that happen to her to be gone. How much I want to be in the asylum, replacing her.

“I’m sorry, dear. I’m truly sorry for make you be here. I shouldn’t leave you. I shouldn’t leave you not even once. I should be here, take care of you as long as I can. I shouldn’t be the one that make the voices back. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a jerk.” My voice wasn’t more than a whisper. My fingers touching her eyebrow, down to her nose, up to her cheekbone then down to her lips and lastly to her chin. Her eyes showed to the world how fond I is to her.

His hands held her. I was stoking her fingers before placed a kiss on top of her hands. “I’m sorry my dear. I hope I could fix this. I hope we can go back to where we should be.” I said, kissing her hands again. She moved a little when she felt someone disturb her sleep. She opened her lips and whimpered.

“Shh, go back to sleep.” I said, stroking her hair just above her forehead and place a kiss on her forehead. She stopped and she was breathing steadily again. I thought she was sleep but then she opened her eyes slowly. She rubbed her eyes before her eyes opened widely. Eyes were locking together for several seconds as my face was just an inch away from her.

“Zayn.” Her lovely voice whispered. I pulled a smile on my lips. “Hi.”

Her tears started to stream down her face, sobs sounded from her lips. I was shocked at the sudden change, so I straight my body up. I pulled her in my arms and I tried to calm her down.

“Hey, what’s wrong? I’m here, okay.” I said while my hand tucking her hair behind her ears. The tears looked like wasn’t going to stop in such a short time. She grasped my shirt, face was posited on my chest. I patted and rubbing her back softly.

A nurse opened the door, probably saw her current state. She was about to say something when I put a finger on my lips. My lips motioning an ‘I’ll take care of this’ and asked the nurse to go away. The nurse however was hesitated first, but then she obeyed.

He didn’t say anything after that, letting my shirt soaked with her tears.

After a while, her tears finally stop. She lifted her head slowly. Nose was red and below her eyes was puffy. She looked at my face as her fingers lingering on my face. I didn’t say anything nor did I say no. I just let her fingers running on my face, then to my hair and her fingers stopped on my jawline.

“You’re real.” She muttered as she brings her nose to my cheek. Her eyes fluttered close as her lips touched my jawline. “I knew they’re wrong.” Her lips were moving against my jawline. Her thumb made a circle on my cheek.

“I know one day you’ll come… when I’m sane again.”

“Hey,” I held her hand, turning my head to look at her face. She opened her eyes slowly and let my brown eyes that full with tenderness look into her sad, gloomy ones. “I’m not here because you’re sane, love. I’m here because I want to be here… with you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here before and I hope I can fix everything. I want to take you out of here. Seeing you in this building, really break my heart. Because the one that crazy is not you, it’s me. I’m crazy for you and I don’t care what people say about you. To me, you’re the wisest person I ever know and nothing can change that. Not even a bit.”

Her eyes looked so innocent, making me fond her more. “They said you lied.” Her soft voice greeted my ears after several minutes in silence. Our lips were close as they almost touching when she speaks. I let a deep sigh, not a sigh because I’m tired of her, but a sigh for the voice in her head keep disturbing her mind.

“Dear the voice in your head, can you please go away because my words are real and now I’m going to kiss her to prove you that I love her from the bottom of my heart.” I caught her cheeks flushed into a pink blush when the words left my mouth.

Her eyes closed when I close the space between our lips. The kiss was simple, no move but perfect. I could feel the world stopped when our lips touched, made me feel that we’re the only person alive in the planet called earth.

A sound of someone cleared their throat made me snapped into the reality. We parted and my eyes gaze to the door. Janet, her aunt was standing there while smiling. The smile full of hidden meaning. And now I can feel that my cheeks heat in shyness.

Uh-oh, busted!

[ofwriter]

Duet

Characters; Liam Payne Words count; 2176

I was walking to my history class when my ears caught a melody. I tried to tell myself that I was probably hallucinating since the competition between states is coming soon. I tried to ignore it and continue walking, but the melody seemed to not stop. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment before open it slowly. The melody was still there.

I didn’t know why but my legs suddenly bring me to the one and only music room in the school. Each step taken, the tune will become louder. I held my books tightly – although I didn’t know what it was for. I seemed to recognize the song somewhere. When I was standing in front of the door, a click on my head told me the name.

I push the door slowly, didn’t mean to surprise whoever was playing the black grand piano. I always run my fingers on the keys, but sadly I can’t play piano because no talent in me. Surprisingly to find it was a guy, who played the piano very lovely. Well, I don’t actually know there’s anyone in this school can play the piano better other than music geek, Ethan.

I took a deep breath, hoping the melody can erase every single anxious feeling in me.

“Schubert’s Serenade.” Before I could control myself, the words leave my mouth already. The feeling of guilty surged into me when his fingers stopped. I can see he lift his head slowly, made my stomach flushed. What if I disturb him? What if he yells at me for spoiling the amazing tune he was playing? The thought made me feel sick. Even my brain refused to help me feel better in this situation.

He spun his body to face me. I’m pretty sure I never see him in the school. If I do, I probably melt in his brown eyes long ago. Eh? His lips slowly pulled into a smile. “Right and who are you, miss?” A small frown on his forehead showed. I was about to answer him when I realize something. I look at my swatch. Great.

“A girl who just late for her history class and going to get detention slip in any seconds... again” Can I just please slam my head on the wall because I feel really stupid. I was promised to my dearest history madam that I won’t be late. But it just happens again, because the curiosity already killed the cat.

“I guess I’ll see you around.” he said. The smile on his face wasn’t fade yet. I was about to hesitate but my braid denied and made my head nod. “Sure.” That was the last word I said before I storm off the music room.

  I put my violin box on a table, behind the grand piano. He looked like didn’t notice me yet. Good. I held the violin on my shoulder, put my chin on the chinrest. I held the bow and walk to him, standing right behind him. When the part in the song allowed me to come, I play the violin. I saw his body tense, maybe just realize there was someone behind him. But he didn’t stop the song.

I closed my eyes, trying to breathe the harmony into my lungs. Try to make myself closer to the melody – something I do when I play my violin. The sad rhythm made my heart cried. Even though the music was just 2 minutes and half, but it looked like a long time had passed.

I opened my eyes slowly when the music stopped and bring my hands by my side. It was sad, to see what we do for life stopped in such a brief moment. The boy turned his body around. For a second time his eyes were on me. Awkward moment was filling again as I realized that I disturb him… again.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t meant to disturb you again. It just... I feel kind of like to play the song with you. It just feels so right. You know what I mean, right? The combination, I mean.” My eyes were running around the music room. I tried to avoid his eyes, even I didn’t really know why. Maybe because I didn’t want to show him how awkward the moment was. But I’m pretty sure he can see it.

I caught a glimpse of his face and saw that lips smiled again. “Maybe we can try it from the start.” I was pictured him to get mad, not those words that brought a smile on my face. I nodded, agreeing the idea from him.

The melody once again brought me to the dream world, the world that full with sadness. And my heart cried again. Okay, when I said my hearts cried, I wasn’t meant to show it with my tears running down on my cheeks. It was completely out of my control. What I know, the melody came to the end and someone behind us clapping. I think I know who it was.

“Bravo, dear. That’s what I really mean when I said “show your feeling through the music”.” Miss Anabelle, my music teacher. She is in the mid-20, cheerful and modern. The youngest teacher in the school, I guess. Not try to mention some guys in the school crazy for her. Weird, huh? She was smiling widely and her hands didn’t stop clapping. I wiped my tears off my eyes and look at her. I gave her a small smile.

“I want you to show the feeling when you’re on the stage. Let the judges, audiences and rivals know that you’re the best among the best.” Her loud filling the large music room as she spread her hands, making me imagine the crown around me. Her head suddenly snapped to the boy. She tugged a smile on her face as she looked at him intently – something I don’t like about her: she scan people using her eyes.

“You must be Liam. The new student from Wolverhampton, am I right?” She said and I saw him nodded. Probably felt the tense she made. “Your fingers got the talent. Finally there’s another guy that can play this piano other than that geek, what his name?” Her finger was pointing at me, asking for answer. “Ethan.”

“Yes, whatever. Liam, why don’t you join this competition and duet with her?” the question made me held my breath, my heart skipped a beat. Wait, what?! Liam and I looked at each other, eyes wide in surprise.

“Why?”

“Simple. The mix of both of you made my heart touch. And since you are up for the competition, why not I give you a partner?” she arched an eyebrow to me as I was asked the most obvious thing in the world. And I hate when she did that because that’s mean no compromise taken.

“What song?” please don’t ask why my voice suddenly became so small because I didn’t know too. All I know was Miss Anabelle look at me using her big eyes and said, “Excuse me?”

I cleared my throat and ask the question again. Her lips formed an ‘o’ shaped. “The song you played just now. Schubert’s… Serenade.” She said the name melodically. Well, didn’t mind that when she got a total amazing vocal. She looked at both of us, asking for agreement. And I gave the decision to Liam.

And he said yes.

  It had been a week since we said our agreement to Miss Anabelle. And since that she made our schedule packed with classes and practice. Thanks a lot to her I practice a lot and my violin skill is better. Liam is not bad. It was shocking to know my partner was from an art school in Wolverhampton and had won a lot of competitions when he was in middle school. Amazing, right?

When I said that, he brought up about me being in the first place in competition between states. Firstly, it was in primary school and secondly… well, who talk about what you achieve in primary school?

Then he asked me how much the violin worth for me. All I said was, “you don't even want to know.” Then he forced me to tell him because he said he will give his soul to the devil just to know how much. Okay, it was exaggerating. He just said he will pay for my lunch if I tell him. Haha.

“It mean the whole world to me, okay. Even if someone says they’ll trade the universe with the violin, I still choose the violin. That’s not the truth because, well… who don’t want the universe for your own? But that’s not the point here. I love the violin with my whole heart and even how small my heart is, I still love it. And you! Don’t ask why because I’m going to tell you.” That last sentence seemed to make me jumped in surprise as I suddenly raise my voice. Well, sorry for that but why you move your lips if your intention is not asking me why?

"The violin was given by my grandfather when my first word came out. That was understatement, but who cares? The violin gave me a sentimental value because his dream is want someone in his family be in violinist. He just has a child and my father is an engineer and my father just has a child, which is me. Thanks for asking.” Once again I cut his words when he moved his lips. I might be annoying, but he was the one that ask me question. And one person is allowed to ask a question in an hour. Too many questions made my head sick.

He closed his parted lips and smiled. I didn’t know why but his smile made my hearts beat faster than usual in this silence. All of sudden I heard a clap behind me and I know well who it was.

“Okay, lovebirds. Your practice ended here. I want both of you to get enough rest in these two days and I’ll see you in Saturday. I’ll pick both of you from your homes. So, please don’t be late. Bye!” I can felt myself blur in the moment she said “lovebirds” but it gone after she mentioned the competition that is coming very soon.

“Anxious, huh?” my body tense as he touched my arm. I gave him a small smile. “God knows how much.” I said, putting the bow and violin carefully into their case. I closed the case and I heard he closed the piano’s lid too.

“Well, see you around in school.” I said, holding the violin case. He nodded and raised his right hand. I smiled and turn around and walk off the music room.

Awkward.

  Seat taken, legs standing near. Fingers standby on the keys, chin comfortably resting on the chinrest.  Eyes met, head nodded as a signal. Fingers start pressing the keys, allowing the beautiful melody filling the hall. Bow slowly moved on the strings, allowing the same tune follow the rhythm of the piano. Eyes closed, hearts beating along with the harmonic tune.

Before they could notice, emotions control their brain. Emotion showed, tears dropping on the keys, on the chinrest. Music stopped, silence filling. A minute later, round applause given. Lips pulled into the smiles. Eyes slowly opened.

It’s amazing to see the judges standing from their seats, and clapping. My eyes caught out families and Miss Anabelle. I couldn’t see but I know my mom and the teacher were crying. I look at Liam and he was wiped his tears away. We breathed a laugh and he stand up. We bowed our bodies before walked out of the stage.

  I touched the gold steel. The logo of the championship craved on the steel. I trace my name on the bottom of it. Smile never leaves my lips. The … we had won from the competition. Our families were proud of us, especially my grandfather. The word “proud” never leave his mouth since I brought the … home. He was there to watch me and he told me the feeling he had when he saw me up there.

It’s good to know that you just made your family happy.

Liam was also thanked me for allow him join me into the competition. He said if it wasn’t me, he might not join the competition and be a champion. Although I said it was him who made us be in first place, he’ll always say otherwise. I really tired of his denial till I agree to whatever he said. He looked pretty much satisfied with that.

“Miss the moment, huh?” speak of the devil, here he is.

“Well, who not? It’s my first time saw you crying.” I said while crack a chuckle. He pretended like he was offended, but he wasn’t. I know him better.

“Giving you the sentimental feeling, eh?”

And we both laugh. What a perfect partner you have been, Liam.

[ofwriter]

Ice

Characters: Niall Horan Words count: 1345

A knock on my window make my head lifts up. I see Niall is smiling at me as his hand holding an eraser. I guess he want to try for second attempt, just in case. He looks like he wants to say something, so I open the window.

“What?” I ask after sit on my chair back. I see he throw the eraser behind him and put his hands on his windowsill. He shrugs.

“I’m totally bored now and what you’re up to?”

“Homework.” I say and turn my attention to the open books in front of me back. I hear Niall sigh ridiculously loud.

Niall is my neighbour for like 13 years now. Our bedrooms windows are facing each other, so I couldn’t complain anything when I have to see his face every day. Literally every day. You can consider us as best friends if you want to because we do everything together. We have been slept at each other’s houses for years, made tents and forts with the blankets, pranked our siblings and ate our moms’ pies.

Name things and we can tell if we have done that or not. The time of us being together is so long and sometimes I feel butterflies in my stomach whenever I hear him laughing. Or should I say, hear his voice. It is weird how my lips can suddenly pull into a smile whenever I see his face. At times I just think that maybe I like…

“Oi!” that one particular voice make my mind snap into the reality. My eyes lazily gaze on him. He raises his left brow – not try to mention that I envy him as he can lift that brow so high.

“Daydream. You don’t hear anything I said, right?” he surely talks a lot when I suddenly zone out. His face was obviously annoyed when I shake my head.

“I said, do you want go out with me tomorrow? It’s not a date, definitely. I’m just bored and you’re the only person that in front of me right now. So, are you up?” he says when I did not say anything but look at his face in blur.

It takes me several minutes to process what he says and to think weather I should go or not. I say yes and he set the time. He closes the window when he hears his mom call.

  “You don’t say we’re going to ice skating.”

“I know, right? Surprise!”

I feel like I want to rip out his heart and crash his bone using my bare hand.

“And you don’t say you paid for me.”

“Yeah.”

I look down at him as he untying his shoes. I don’t even know how to play roller blade, so it’s obvious that I don’t know how to play ice skate neither. Why in the earth this guy in front of me – that was smile widely – can have the idea of bringing me here?

Plus the place is at the centre of the mall. So, even people from fourth floor can see if I fall. It’ll double the embarrassment if people from our school are here and laugh at me. Gosh, I can’t even think how shame that is.

“Ni, I don’t want to play this.” I protested for like millions of times when he asks me to put the shoes on. “Baby, please… I’ve paid for you and it’s a loss if you don’t even try.”

“Firstly, I don’t ask you to do that and secondly, it’s such a shame to fall in front of thousands of people.” Well, it’s exaggerating but do I care?!

“Dear, I’ll catch you if you fall.” His blue eyes are pleading as he looks at the window of my soul. It’s really hard to say no when he do that puppy-eyes-face. I groan in frustrated and, “Fine!”

I stand in front of the entrance with my heart pumping hard behind my chest. I’m lucky to have just about 20 people on the ice. Some of them skate like a pro and some still holding the wall while skate slowly. I can see Niall is impatient as I just stand there without move even an inch.

“Come on, this is standing not skating!” his loud voice boom in my ears as he pulling my hand, forcing me to walk in these shoes. What a troublesome.

Niall is standing on the ice while holding my left hand. Here we go… a baby is going to have her first step. Eyes close, a yelp escape from the mouth, legs clumsily try to balance, hands throwing not to anything but the only thing they can hold on to. I can feel my legs bring my body to spin on the ice.

I open my eyes slowly as my body relax but my heart thump even louder when I finally realize what condition I’m in to. And what I hold to. My left hand hold Niall’s arm while the right hand clung to his neck. There’s no space between our bodies even an inch.

I can feel my face burn in embarrassment. I look at the first floor and see a girl held her phone up. I’m pretty sure she is recording as I can see her friends giggling. And I’m really sure they’re from my school since I ever saw them somewhere in the school. Double the embarrassment.

I stood awkwardly in front him but my hands still grasping his arms. I guess they’re going to leave marks there. I mumble a “sorry” when I finally balance my body. He laughed and says, “See, I’ll catch you if you fall!”

After practice to what looks like hours, I finally can skate around the ice. But I can’t skate alone yet. My fingers tangling with Niall’s as we skate together. Sometimes we will stop at the wall and take breath, then skate again. Whenever I fall, I’ll pull his hand so we can fall together. Isn’t fall on the ice together is sweet?

We ware standing at the centre of the ice. People around us are skating skilfully and some are falling, skate slowly, holding hands, laughing, chattering. I can feel my lips turn into a smile to the view. My eyes are gazing around the mall, from the first floor to the fourth. I can see a lot of people are looking at us. It’s amazing how I don’t feel anything but enjoyment.

I just notice that our fingers still intertwine together when Niall suddenly pull my hands to make me look at him. I raise my brows, asking why. Oddly his face doesn’t light up as usual. No silly smile or funny face pulls.  Just a serious face with eyes searching for mine. Once they locked together, his blue eyes look deeply into mine.

I force myself to look at anywhere but him, but my brain doesn’t agree with me. Suddenly the whole world seems to stop, no eyes on us, no people skating around us, no time ticking… just us. Just four eyes looking deeply into each other’s.

“I know this isn’t a date.” His voice sound so soft.

“But I love to think it’s one.”

“Why?” my voice sound so small. Even I can barely hear my own voice.

“Because I think I like like you.”

“When?”

“Since the beginning.”

“Why?”

“Because you got so much flaws and I want to spend my entire life fixing them.”

Some people may say they love the girl because she’s perfect. And she probably loves the sentence he says. But for me, his words mean the world for me. Those beautiful words keep playing in my mind until now.

Today is our first anniversary and we are standing at the centre of the ice. Replaying the memory again. I let he know that I feel the same for him. I also tell him that the time I fall in love with him was a little late, but he doesn't mind that. All he said was,

“As long as you love me, it’s enough.”

[touch-too-much-blog]

In light of recent events, I'd like to share this song with all of you 

My Vagina by NOFX