About six months ago, I did a week or two of writing what I called "noir vignettes" for anyone who left a request in my ask inbox. It was a fun, creativity-straining project that I really enjoyed.
(Original post on this lives here)
I also never finished it. Writing a scientific paper and then my thesis got in the way. I've still got about twenty requests that I never answered, and I'd like to get to them soon. Before I do that, though, I wanted to collate all of the ones I'd already done into a single post, organized by the "type" of character I'd assigned to each requester.
This is that post.
Where possible, I've @mentioned the user who requested the vignette. I've also put asterisks and notes on ones I'm especially proud of, but that's my vanity--it's not a commentary on the user I wrote it for. They're ALL fun.
the-oxford-english-fangeek: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83036738563/sign-me-up-for-a-noir-vignette-xd ***This was a Pacific Rim crossover and I had a blast doing that.
@trulyamindlost: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83098685945/hello-noir-vignette-please ***When I was writing these, it was shortly after I'd had cause to write "When People Die on Purpose," an article about my personal experiences with suicide. trulyamindlost was kind enough to say yes to letting my touch on that in the vignette I wrote, and I'm grateful.
belphegor1982: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83526652262/hi-i-would-love-a-noir-vignette-based-on-my-blog-if ***I really enjoyed making the imagery on this one.
limenmint: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83341128688/if-you-have-the-time-would-you-write-me-up-too-m-a ***This one was totally inspired by Uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender and I have ZERO regrets.
lalitrus: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83273265905/can-you-do-the-noir-vignette-thing-for-people-with-very ***Goats are involved. That is all.
bluewolftwilight: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83131762988/noir-perhaps-im-very-sorry-if-i-dont-have-much ***in the process of researching this one I kind of accidentally did (she'd already done it) the requester's math homework...so that happened.
johnskylar: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83129011644/another-little-noir-vignette ***this one was written about me, from the perspective of my viewpoint character, by the-oxford-english-fangeek...and it absolutely made my day.
mybodymystory: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83516371184/im-curious-what-type-of-vignette-id-get-also-i ***This one still makes me emotional when I read it.
@notebookspirit: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/83102434514/handsome-man-sorry-for-the-ask-y-fanmail-y-mix-up ***I got to out my viewpoint character as bisexual in this one, which was pretty fun.
Original post: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/82996706080/masochistic-writer-does-tumblr-ask-event. Tag for all posts: #noirproject. This one’s for @thatopinionatedfemme, who’s already kind of a noir character in her own right.
These kids come in from all over the country, and all they have is idiotic cop shows to tell them what like’s like in the places where the money’s dried up unless it’s dripping out one end of a needle.
So the school wants me to scare ‘em of before they do something stupid.
I’ve got a canned lecture for it:
Always go out in groups, don’t go past the area that school security patrols, keep your wits about you, don’t advertise your expensive shit…you know, the kinds of advice you give to lily white kids.
So this past year, I’m about halfway through the usual spiel when this short-haired girl in the front row starts rolling her eyes. She’d had her arms crossed the whole time, and now she clearly didn’t buy that you shouldn’t take rides in those vans that wander late-night Brooklyn.
They call ‘em dollar cabs, and for us locals they’re a hell of a way to get around. Lot better than waiting on a street corner for somebody to come along and mug you. But the school tells me to say they’re bad news, so I say it. It’s some liability thing.
"That’s bullshit," the girl finally said. "As long as you don’t act like some entitled prick, most people don’t bother you. You know acting like entitled rich white kids isn’t gonna teach us anything about the world, right?"
I agreed with her, but I wasn’t being paid to. ”Yeah? And you’d know about that? You from the rough side of town, or something?” she didn’t look it.
"No, I’m from Oregon. But I’ve been here awhile already, and I know my shit. You treat people with a little decency and you actually learn a thing or two."
I frowned. I didn’t want to say, “But the rest of this room is a bunch of clueless classists so I’m paid to say the opposite.” Instead, I said, “What’s your major?” I expected to hear “economics” or “minority studies,” or something.
"I’m a math/physics double majors."
Damn. ”You got plans tonight, lady?” I think I kinda forgot for a minute that I was in front of a lecture hall of 300 kids.
"For you? Yes, I’ve got plans."
Ouch.
I think she saw that on my face. ”You’re not really my type.”
"That’s fair. I won’t ask again. But I’ll ask this: you want a job?"
She smiled. ”I’ll think about it.”
"Alright." I handed her my card, then looked around at the rest of the lecture hall.
"Well? What are the rest of you still doing here? Go find a bar that doesn’t card, or something."
Original post: http://www.johnskylar.com/post/82996706080/masochistic-writer-does-tumblr-ask-event. Tag for all posts: #noirproject.This one is for @obsessivepuzzles, who I'm working with on a top secret project to be announced soon. Check out her blog! I'm on my iPad, so I'm having some issues with the formatting, but here's where it starts:
The spray paint cans littered the crime scene, emptied of their souls all over the brick alley-wall.
A 30 foot mural screamed across the neighborhood as the cops wandered the site looking for anything that might point to a suspect.
It was the fifth mural this week.
I stepped back to see the three-color monster in all its glory. This one read, “YOU ARE FREE TO BE YOU.” It showed people, real people from the neighborhood, painted with deep black lines, blue highlights, and some red accenting here and there. It showed hookers, bookies, cops, barflies, the works, all of them happily getting along. In the gutter, unconscious, was a mob enforcer.
That had been the theme of all the murals: take down the criminals.
"BE YOUR OWN MASTER," the second read.
"THE WICKED ARE JUST SCARED," said the first.
In the corner, on all three, the signature just said “KSB.”
And they were starting to change minds around town, it seemed. Some people were talking about a neighborhood watch. They even asked me if I’d consult.
The detective on the scene turned to me. “You want to help us catch this hooligan?”
I squinted at the mural again, which was starting to reflect some glare as the sun came out.
"No, not really," I said. I tossed my cigarette down and put it out with my heel, then walked off to find something worth doing.