So I have a full Bill & Ted mermaid fic written in rough. There are a lot of holes still to be filled in -- that's what she said -- but the epic tale of shipwreck and cross-species love is there. Here, have a snippet.
Ted squints up at the sun, then sweeps his gaze up and down the beach, just trying to take in the world at large and make sure everything else remains normal. Then he looks back at Bill. "Am I freaking out? Is that what's happening here?"
"I think you're doing pretty well, dude, all things considered."
Ted takes a short breath, then another. "Am I hallucinating you?"
Bill looks like he's giving it some serious thought. "I don't think so, Ted. But then, if I was your hallucination, that's probably what I would say."
"Quite a predicament," Ted says, then shrugs because there's very little he can do about it either way. "It's still nice to have someone to talk to."
"Totally," Bill agrees. "I haven't talked to anyone but Rufus in days and days."
"Rufus?"
Bill points at the seagull, who has given up on lunch and is perched on a nearby rock, preening his feathers and watching them closely.
"Rufus, huh?" Ted says, addressing the bird.
Rufus squawks twice, bobs his head, and shits profusely on his rock.
"Pleasure is all mine, dude," Ted says dryly.