As a child, I did as I was told. I played with the toy cars, the dinosaurs, the superhero figures. I didn’t complain as I was dressed in khaki shorts and baby blue shirts, directed to sand pits and given toy trucks.
As I grew older, I began to rebel. It didn’t feel right, this daily routine. In an act of defiance, I dyed my hair pink, threw out my clothes and bought a pretty dress. I found a boy I liked and gave him a kiss, just trying to find the me I was always meant to be.
But after a while, this too grew weary. I felt better this way, but there was still something missing. I grew out my hair, raided my wardrobe, and started anew.
Now I feel I’m on my way to Me. I dress as I want, like the things that I choose, and I know who I am. I am me, with and without the boxes I’m put into, the me that I’ve always been since I sat in that sandpit playing with trucks that day.
I am nonbinary, and I am happy this way.