#nonmonogomy

[mafiaownedgaybar]

i've really been working on my human being impression, lately

[brachot-and-boobies]

I also don’t think of polyamory as “advanced love” the way some people seem to want me to.

There’s a regular refrain when people post stupid shit in polyamory subreddits and the like that “if you’re not managing monogomy youre certainly not ready for polyamory” and I’m not so sure.

I just think the fucked up shit that happens in monogamy is more socially tolerated than the fucked up shit in polyamory.

When a polyamorous person miscommunicates and someone ends up feeling like shit for an evening because their partner bought someone else home to spend the night, it’s a polyamory issue. Maybe you aren’t “ready” for polyamory.

When x wants to go out with a group of friends, one of whom is an ex, and their partner y texts them every hour and is overwhelmed with anxiety and jealousy, meanwhile x feels trapped and not trusted. No one makes it into an issue with how hard monogomy is. Certainly not in a “maybe you should be non monogamous way”

[lizellyn]

Addressing Common Opposition to Polyamory

Let’s address the opposition to Polyamory Jealousy: jealousy happens in all relationships. I’ve discussed this in many posts. It’s about how you deal with it that is important. Stability: 40% of all marriages end in divorce. It is a lot of pressure to expect one person to suit all of your physical, emotional, and intellectual needs for an entire lifetime. Cultural Norms: Why must people yuck…

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[lizellyn]

Is Polyamory Better?

Polyamory is not automatically “better” than monogamy. It is just a different relationship style that suits some people’s needs “better.” It’s not a question of “better.” Polyamory is breaking free of the assumed monogamish assumption. Polamory opens up discussions about values, capacity, and what works for a set of people. Books by Liz Ellyn where polyamory is challenged:Overruling…

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[lizellyn]

Unlearn Jealousy

A common misconception is that jealousy is a litmus test of whether or not a person cares deeply for someone else. Compersion is the feeling of seeing your partner happy and content. Choosing compersion over control seems like a kinder and healthier option. Liz Ellyn’s Romance Novels with Real Polyamory:Overruling Judgment MFMDefending Engagement MFMWillful Parties MMF

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[lizellyn]

Award Winning Polyamory Romance

Polyamorous romances with all the drama of a traditional love story, loaded with spicy scenes, and topped with a ton of complexity to make it all the more interesting. Liz Ellyn’s writing blends sizzling romance with an honest portrayal of consent, boundaries, and ongoing negotiation that parallels real-life polyamorous experiences. Award Winning Romance by Liz Ellyn Bold Polyamory:…

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[lizellyn]

Comparing Jealousy: Polyamory vs. Monogamy

One of the most common questions asked about polyamorous relationships is about the issue of jealousy. Don’t polyamorous people get jealous? Yes, they do. But jealousy also exists in monogamous relationships. In fact, it occurs more often in monogamous relationships than polyamorous ones. Jealousy is actually more destructive in monogamous relationships than polyamorous ones. Looking for more…

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[lizellyn]

Understanding Different Styles of Polyamory

Styles of Polyamory Polyamory: Multiple loving partners. Everyone knows and consents. Ethical non-monogamy: Any consensual non-exclusive relationship. Open relationship: Couple allows outside s-xual partners, often remains emotionally exclusive. Monogamish: Mostly monogamous, occasional outside s-xual partners. Polyfidelity: Exclusive commitment within a group. Faithful to several, closed to…

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