#nospost

[the-13th-rose]

Angrily shouting "NOS-4-A2!" and he's just "Oh, she used my full serial number, that can't be good."

[the-13th-rose]

Get you a bot who can do both

Stuff I doodled while trying to train myself to draw this mf because I pretty much only ever feel motivated to draw when it's for a joke

[the-13th-rose]

All of my f/os love my stims actually but like NOS absolutely ADORES me being stimmy. Especially the flapping. He can't help but crack a lil smile every time he catches me flappin my arms. He's probably one of the biggest pet-namers I know and he has so many names for me -- "my pet" (casual), "my little creature" (very affectionate), "moonbeam" (seeking help or comfort), sometimes even "stardust" (very sincere), but "my fluttering moth" and "little bat" directly refer to my flapping stim. He thinks it's adorable

[the-13th-rose]

Carmilla

(A Buzz Lightyear of Star Command fic)

Dr. Carmen Lugosi, research specialist in the field of medical technology, is unwittingly infected while tinkering with the remains of NOS-4-A2, unleashing a brand new villain upon the galaxy...

Characters: Dr. Carmen Lugosi/"Carmilla" (oc), NOS-4-A2, Rachel Sparks (a friend's oc), XR, the rest of Team Lightyear

This fic contains some blood. That’s...pretty much it.

Word count: 9,619 (OK. We have a new winner for longest single writing piece I’ve ever posted! And that’ll be hard to beat.)

There was a knock at the door to her living quarters at around noon. Or rather, what counted as noon on a research outpost in the middle of neutral space. Carmen paused the movie she’d had on in the background while she worked on her latest report--a classic that she truly loved, the gruesome and gory tale of twelve paranoid arctic researchers who are attacked by a shape-stealing alien--then walked over to the door to answer it.

She was greeted by the sight of the usual deliveryman, standing in her doorway and holding out a large nondescript-looking package. “Delivery for a miss Carmen Lugosi. The fellas at the front desk said this was your room.” He stated.

“Yes, that’s me,” Carmen replied, though now quite confused by the large box. “That’s really for me?”

“Your name’s on the label,” the deliveryman replied. “From Planet Z, too...you got family out there or something?”

“Uh, well...” Carmen didn’t really want to get into it.

“Oh well, that’s none of my business anyway,” the deliveryman dismissed his earlier comment, and placed the package on the floor before handing her a paper to sign. Once she left her signature, he tipped his hat and bid her farewell, walking back down the hallway towards the dock.

Carmen leaned down and grabbed the package, noting at once that it was a decent bit heavier than she’d expected, and making sure to lift with her knees. She brought the box over to her workbench in her private lab, already getting the impression that it wasn’t something she should leave lying out for visitors to see. While there, she noted the movie that was still on the screen, frozen on the scene where the new dog taken in by the researchers reveals itself to be the monster. She figured she’d resume it once she’d opened the package.

“Alright,” Carmen said with a slight sigh. “What sort of contraband have you sent me this time, Dad?” She was rather grateful that at least this time, it hadn’t been mistaken for a bomb and sent the whole station into a panic. She suspected they still hadn’t forgiven her for that scare, but it hadn’t been her fault that her Zurg lackey of a father had neglected to make sure the package didn’t look like a bomb! 

Carmen cut the box open with precision using a scalpel from her lab equipment. Opening the box, she was met with the sight of a gift-wrapped package only slightly smaller than its outer casing. “Oh...right. Today’s my birthday.” Carmen mused, wondering how she’d managed to forget while her father who she now hardly saw had remembered. Though, it wasn’t like she had anyone to celebrate such an event with now. Maybe she’d treat herself to a soda...or something.

Attached to the gift was a small, otherwise featureless card. On the inside, her father had written--

“Happy birthday, pumpkin! I found this while on cleanup duty after Zurg regained power over Planet Z, and I know how much you’ve been looking to get your hands on this kind of technology for your experiments! I know you’re not interested in the family business of villainy, but just know that you’re still my little devil cake and I’ll always be rooting for you!  - Love, Dad”

Carmen rolled her eyes at the saccharine tone of the note. “I’m turning 22, not eight,” she remarked, putting the note aside. Still, a part of her was grateful that at least one being in the galaxy had thought to wish her well on her birthday.

Opening the box, she was met with the sight of what looked like heavily-damaged scrap. “...I don’t recall asking for my Zurg tech to be sent in the form of a 2,000-piece puzzle,” Carmen remarked, turning over a piece of practically unrecognizable metal and frayed wires in her hand. “I mean, I expected some damage, sure, after the Rangers--likely Lightyear--got through with you, but...This is an impressive level of damage even for him. What in the galaxy happened to you?”

“Well...” Carmen sighed, holding the scrap up to the light. “At least putting you together will give me something to do.”

And so Carmen got to work, laying out pieces from the box and meticulously figuring out where everything went, replacing screws, welding, and reattaching wires. All the while, the sounds of characters conversing and the occasional screams of monster and victim alike filled any moments of quiet.

It was definitely a robot of some sort, of that much she was now certain. But it couldn’t have been one of Zurg’s Hornets--the overall shape and color were both wrong. But granted, a lot of the paint had also been--presumably blasted--off.

Taking a brief moment to wipe sweat from her brow, Carmen was now looking at the upper torso of the bot, which sported a grizzly hole in the center that went straight through. It was much larger than the hole a conventional laser blast would have left, and brought to her mind the image of a corpse impaled. “I reiterate--what in the galaxy happened to you?” Carmen remarked, cutting open the chest cavity for some internal repairs. “I’m almost tempted to bring you online so I can ask for your story...but after this much damage, who’s to say if your memory bank’s even intact?” With her plasma cutting tool, she cut loose and removed what remained of the robot’s servo-pump. It was practically in two pieces. Whatever the bot had been impaled upon had torn straight through it. Carmen grimaced at the damage. “Now...that’s just gruesome.” She didn’t want to even try to fix that. But just as well--it would allow her to try out a particular prototype she’d been working on.

She inspected the battery next, and found it slightly damaged but otherwise surprisingly intact. Whatever had torn through the robot’s chest had only scraped the battery. It had made enough of a hole to cause it to leak, which Carmen theorized may have been the cause of the blast that had apparently reduced it to pieces. A spark from a damaged wire had likely ignited the fluid leaking from the wound. But she hadn’t been doing all of this just for a robot autopsy.

Carmen carefully patched the hole, and decided to work on the head before she would try out her prototype. Yet as she began this set of repairs, something struck her mind. She recognized this face. She’d seen it before. Not in person, she felt she would have remembered an event like that. No, she recalled a more--intact version of this face from news programs and wanted posters. Of course! How had she not noticed until now? Her father had sent her the remains of one of Zurg’s most sinister creations--the energy vampire, NOS-4-A2.

Carmen didn’t pay much attention to the news these days, so she hadn’t even been aware that the criminal had been destroyed. She’d had a vague understanding that Planet Z had briefly fallen into the hands of some villain other than Zurg, and that a strange mechanical infection had taken over the populations of a few planets, yet had been cured without necessary intervention from any one of her coworkers. But now things were starting to make sense. NOS-4-A2 must have been the villain who tried to usurp Zurg’s throne, and Carmen’s father had discovered his remains after the dispute was settled. Had he just not known whose scrapped remains he was sending to his daughter? But that just didn’t seem like him at all. Granted, sending his daughter the remains of a highly dangerous and violent criminal also didn’t seem like him. Was this his attempt at finally getting her into the family business?

Carmen let out a breath that she felt as though she’d been holding ever since she’d realized who she was repairing. “The galaxy would be better off if I just stopped the repairs here and incinerated you,” she mused, trying to weigh her options. “But...” She placed a hand upon her own chest, thinking over all the years she’d struggled to find a permanent cure to the condition that had given her a faulty heart. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life relying on these nanobots to keep me alive...all the things I can’t do...all the normal things I’ve had to stay away from...” She slammed a fist down on her desk, and drew in a determined breath. “Screw the galaxy. This is for me.”

. . .

Carmen stood over the still mangled--but hopefully intact enough for her experiment to work--robot’s body and admired her handiwork. The prototype was in place, its shining unscuffed surface a stark contrast to the mangled shell it had been placed into. It was an artificial heart, more or less, one which she’d hoped might someday replace her own. Her reasoning was that if she could get it to work for a robot, it might work for organics. All she had to do was give it some power.

She doubted the bot would charge normally in the state it was in, and she didn’t want to risk waking it up by completing the repairs. So instead, she stood with a portable charging unit on a table beside her, and two wires leading from it clamped onto the robot’s battery. It was crude, but she didn’t want to stand too close while testing something so experimental.

Carmen held her breath in anticipation, and flicked the unit on. There was barely any reaction, and the battery didn’t hold the charge. Cursing softly under her breath, she tried again. The robot twitched somewhat, which startled her a bit, but though it seemed promising for a moment, once again the battery held no charge.

Carmen stepped back, disappointment settling in. “No...” she muttered, biting her lip as she tried not to begin crying. This wasn’t something to cry over. She just had to--

To what? To go back to the drawing board for the eighth time in a row?! She’d spent so many days working on this! It would be ages before she’d have another model to try out, and she didn’t know if she could wait that long! She needed this to work! Clenching her fists, Carmen approached the body and slammed her fist down onto the table it rested upon. “Work...” she pleaded. “I can’t go back to the drawing board again! Please just work! Please!”

Carmen huffed, and tried one more time. She didn’t even care that she was positioned so close to the prototype. If something went wrong, then--

The body jolted. Before Carmen could react, the mangled thing sprang upwards at her and she felt two sharp pains in the side of her neck. Carmen gave a short cry of alarm, and tried to free herself of its grip, but the jaws held firm. Thinking so quickly that she didn’t consider the potential consequences, Carmen reached for the unit and activated it again.

Electricity coursed through her, but it was enough to force the body back onto the table and free her. She pulled away after the jolt that had really only lasted a second or two, gasping for breath and with her heart hammering against her ribs. Gritting her teeth, she touched the wound left in her neck with a few fingers. Warm blood trickled down onto her fingertips, and the two puncture wounds stung terribly. She’d once been stung by a hornet in her childhood, and this injury brought back her memories of that pain. But she wouldn’t cry. Not this time.

Carmen fetched some gauze from her cabinet, and wrapped it around the wounds until she felt she’d laid it on thick enough. Her nanobots were already working on patching the punctures from the inside, so she didn’t worry about blood loss, but she didn’t want to leave the marks uncovered. “That’s going to hurt in the morning...” she lamented, walking back over to the table, fully expecting her efforts to have been in vain once again.

But to her surprise, the battery seemed to have finally held the charge, and the prototype was working just as she’d intended! Carmen could have celebrated right then and there, but before she could feel anything more than a brief sensation of triumph, the body jolted again, and quite violently this time. And was that a...gasp?

Carmen watched, stunned, as the robot’s remaining optic--the right one--lit up a piercing red. His expression shifted, looking almost confused for a moment, and then his eye opened wide in shock, his mouth forced open by a sudden violent, agonized scream.

Carmen reflexively covered her ears with her hands, fearing she’d be deafened by the sound. It was harsh and metallic, by the sound of it Carmen could tell his voice wasn’t quite fully operational. There were still quite a few frayed wires in his neck, after all. But it didn’t seem as though he was trying to speak. As distorted as they were, these were screams of agony. But why? Yes, he was in quite a mangled state, but it wasn’t as though he had the ability to feel pain...did he?

“Who--?!” Carmen began, still covering her ears, as she realized what was happening. “Who gives a robot pain receptors?! That’s just cruel!” She had to shut him up before one of her coworkers noticed. ...Well, that’s what she told herself to justify her attempt at helping him, anyway.

She ran around the table to reach the back of the robot’s head. Quickly unscrewing the plate, she tried to search for whichever part of the motherboard controlled the pain response. Mentally cursing Zurg for not labeling anything, she leaned in to get a closer look, but the robot was thrashing quite violently despite how little of him there was to thrash, and she couldn’t make out any details. Gritting her teeth, she hissed at the robot to hold still. “I’m trying to switch your nerves off, but if you don’t hold still, I might make things worse!”

He seemed to have heard her, surprisingly, and made a noticeable effort to hold still, though he was still letting out some rather harsh-sounding screeches every few moments.

Carmen at last noticed a very small button right above the neck, the type that was set slightly into the surface that surrounded it so it could only be activated by something with a very small and narrow point. “Craters, I hate these things!” she muttered to herself, racing back to her supply cabinets and grabbing a syringe. Steadying her hand, she jabbed the tip of the needle against the button, and it seemed her intuition had been right, because her “patient” suddenly stopped screeching, and slumped backward into her hand with a relieved groan.

Carmen closed up the back of his head as quickly as she could, and walked around the table until she was standing by the side of his head. “Well...” she began sheepishly. “I’m...sorry about all that. I didn’t exactly think you could still be brought online in this state. But as long as you are...” she gave a short, nervous laugh. “How’s your sensory input? I’m afraid you’ve only got one functioning optic at the moment, but do you notice any damage to it? I’m not blurry or out of focus? No cracks in the lens?”

“N-no, I see you clearly, but--” NOS-4-A2 replied, his voice still harsher and probably not as comprehensible as Zurg had designed it to sound. “Where am I? Who are you, and--” He raised his head slightly and seemed both shocked and appalled at his appearance. “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BODY?!”

Carmen grimaced. “W-well...you see, I...it used to be a lot worse--” she stammered, but in the next moment NOS-4-A2′s empty left eye socket sparked slightly, and he scowled.

“Oh, right. Lightyear happened. It’s all coming back to me, now.” He shuddered. “How unpleasant.”

“Lightyear, eh?” Carmen replied. “That’s...about how I figured it happened. Look, I’m sorry for bringing you back online, it wasn’t on purpose--”

“Why apologize for doing me such a favor?” NOS-4-A2 looked at her quizzically. 

“Because...well...” Carmen sighed. “I was only using your body for an experiment. And now that it’s done, I should...really disassemble you and incinerate your remains so you don’t become a scourge on the galaxy again.” She grimaced, realizing something. “Though...as a doctor, I made an oath to do no harm. Seeing as you’re clearly not only sentient but also capable of feeling pain...doing that would probably count as doing harm.”

NOS scoffed at her mention of the oath, but soon changed his tune. “Wait--yes! You’re right! You have a duty to fix me, so--so do it!”

“But I don’t--” Carmen stammered, unsure.

“There must be something you want, yes?” He actually seemed sort of...desperate. “Help me, and--I’ll help you!”

Carmen grimaced, mulling it over while the robot continued to plead with her. She had no reason to believe that making a deal with someone like him would turn out well for her. But at the same time...

Oh, he was...rather pitiable, in this state. Wires spilling from his mangled torso, their frayed edges sparking, a look of pure desperation in his remaining eye and the sort of damaged speaker quality to his voice. She recalled how--alive he’d seemed before she’d switched off his nerves, thrashing and screeching like an animal. How he’d seemed so relieved when he fell back, his head resting against her palm. She thought about forcefully taking back her prototype, how he’d undoubtedly plead with her, thrash and scream until the job was done...

It felt less like unplugging an old computer, and more like ripping out the heart of some animal that had already been unfortunate enough to be wounded beyond the ability to defend itself. She couldn’t do it.

“...Fine.” She eventually replied with a heavy sigh. “But you’d better keep your part of the deal.”

“You have my word,” replied NOS-4-A2.

“Sure...” muttered Carmen, once again picking up her tools. “Whatever that’s worth.”

. . .

“And...” Carmen switched off her welding torch. “That should do it. Say something, let me know if that’s how it’s supposed to sound.”

“So~” NOS-4-A2 began, and already his voice sounded far less grating and far more comprehensible. Though there was a strange sort of echo to it, as though another voice or two a pitch lower and higher than what she figured was the main voice were speaking alongside him. “What shall I call you, my fleshy savior?”

Carmen grimaced. “Definitely not that.” She began working on one of his arms next, reattaching it to the corresponding shoulder and putting the limb itself back together. “My name is Carmen. Apparently it’s Latin for ‘song’.”

“Is it a fitting name?” he inquired.

“I suppose so,” Carmen shrugged. “I sing sometimes. But I don’t really do much with it anymore.”

“How charming~” he remarked, smiling. “You must treat me to a performance.”

“...” Carmen felt her face grow a bit warm. “...Maybe later.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, how about you? Did Zurg really name you after that old silent movie?”

“Hm, yes, I believe so,” NOS replied. “That buffoon quite likes his films. Horror, mostly.”

Carmen smiled a bit. “Never imagined I’d have something in common with him.”

NOS made an expression of disgust. “And I hope that’s the only thing you two have in common. I don’t think I could stand having another of him around.”

“...You tried to take over his empire, didn’t you?” Carmen recalled. “I recall hearing about it from my father. Shame you didn’t have control of it for very long, but I’m sure the look on his face was priceless.”

He chuckled. “Quite~.” In the next moment, however, he scowled. “I would have ruled the entire galaxy had it not been for--”

“Lightyear, yes,” Carmen replied. “He’s pretty good at that, throwing a wrench into the schemes of every aspiring villain, no matter how well they planned. It’s...boring, isn’t it? Sometimes I feel as though villains don’t even scare people anymore. They all just expect Lightyear or some other hero like him to show up and save the day. Like. Always.”

“You say that as though you’re not fond of heroes,” he remarked.

“I’m not,” Carmen replied. “It just...never seemed fair to me. But maybe that’s only my parents talking. They’re villains--have been since before they had me. My mother’s a highly-rated hitwoman and my father...works for Zurg now. They wanted me to ‘join the family business’ and practically planned my whole life. I...became a doctor to spite them. But I...always did want to be evil. I just didn’t want to follow their plan.”

“...If you want to be evil, why don’t you do something about it?”

The robot’s words surprised her, and she stopped welding for a moment. Why...didn’t she do something about it? But she shook her head. “No, it’s too late for that now.”

NOS scoffed again. “Organics. Always so worried about your own mortality. You already live finite lives, where’s the sense in cowering in fear from every little thing that might make your miserable existences a little more interesting?”

Carmen was quiet for a moment. She hadn’t been expecting a violent criminal to drop something like that on her. It cut pretty deep. “Do you think I’d...be any good, as a villain?” 

“Certainly not as you are, alone,” NOS replied. “But as you can imagine, I have trouble keeping myself in one piece, what with all the enemies I’ve made.”

“Are you about to suggest I become your minion?” Carmen wasn’t sure if she should be offended by his lack of confidence in her, or flattered that he might be considering her worthy of any type of evil at all.

“Carmen,” It was the first time he’d said her name. She...rather liked how it sounded in his voice. “When I was betrayed by Ranger Parsec and impaled upon the wreckage of my own weapon--” He paused, shuddering at the thought once again. “My final thought before I went offline was that I was, for lack of a better term, ‘done for’. So you might imagine my surprise when I found myself brought back online and in the process of being repaired quite commendably. I’m not a simple machine, Carmen. I’ve made repairs to myself when needed, but I’m not so arrogant as to think I’ll always be able to rely on myself alone. I can’t rely on just any old mechanic, either. That’s where you come in.”

“...So not ‘minion’, per se, more like a personal repairwoman?” Carmen mused. “You mentioned being betrayed. Why would want to trust me after that? And especially when you’re damaged. You don’t even have a way to control me. I’m not a machine.”

“Clever little thing, aren’t we~?” NOS-4-A2 mused, grinning. Carmen wasn’t exactly sure how to process what that remark was doing to her, but she rather liked it. “Under normal circumstances, I’d trust you much less than I could throw you. But you had me completely at your mercy. You could have done anything you wanted to me at that moment, and I couldn’t have fought back. You knew it, too. And yet, you chose to repair me.” His grin was obnoxiously smug at this point. “You couldn’t do it, could you?”

Carmen bit her lip. He was right. “...It just...didn’t sit right with me.”

“How kind of you,” he sneered. “I haven’t the slightest idea as to why you felt that way, but I’m not one to question good fortune. So for now, at least, you have my trust. And I implore you to consider my offer. You won’t regret it.”

“...I’ll sleep on it.” Carmen eventually replied.

NOS seemed dissatisfied with her answer. He scowled a bit, then put his head back down on the table with a sigh. “Are you quite through with that arm?”

Carmen had nearly forgotten. Luckily she’d still been working on it just as well while half-distracted. “It should be operational now. Sorry for the wait, this one was really just...in pieces. But go ahead and test it out.”

“I can’t exactly feel it right now, you know,” he grumbled. “That button you pressed wasn’t an ‘off’, it was a ‘reset’. You basically rebooted my entire network of pain receptors and tactile sensors, so I’m completely numb until it finishes.”

“Oh...” Carmen muttered sheepishly. 

“It usually takes a few hours, so you have time to finish my repairs before the effect wears off, but if I were you I wouldn’t dawdle. You don’t want me to suddenly start writhing in agony again and cause you to make a grievous error during a delicate repair.” Still, he raised his arm from the table and inspected it, and seemed satisfied with her work. 

Carmen, meanwhile, set about reattaching the other arm, which was thankfully more intact than the last one. It took a fraction of the time to repair, and soon she was working on the lower body.

“I kept meaning to ask you,” Carmen began as she worked. “That...echo to your voice, that’s normal, right?”

“Hm?” He’d apparently been admiring the work she’d done with his arms. “Oh, yes, the echo. Yes, that’s normal. Zurg thought it would be more intimidating.”

“Oh, good,” Carmen replied. “Because I was going to say that I liked it that way.”

. . .

“There,” Carmen said as she finished connecting the last wire and reattached the larger left optic to its socket. “How’s that?”

NOS-4-A2 was silent for a moment, then smiled as the eye lit up as well to match its smaller, more expressive counterpart on the right-hand side. “Smashing!” He remarked, sitting up on the table, and admiring her handiwork. “You’ve really outdone yourself, Carmen. I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me~.”

“Your praise is appreciated, but,” Carmen broke off, yawning. Suddenly she realized how long she’d been putting him back together, and how tired she was because of that. She didn’t even want to know how late at night it must have been. “Now I need to get some rest. I’m glad this all went well, really, but I need you to stay in here and not cause any trouble until I’ve made my decision.”

He chuckled, smirking. “Oh, my dear little pet~,” he crooned, rising from the table and hovering just above it. “There’s absolutely no way I’m going to just ignore all the energy I could be draining from this station right now.”

Carmen smiled. “Yeah, I had a feeling you’d say that,” she remarked, discreetly pressing a button on the underside of her desk. “Which is why it’s a good thing that I have this.”

An energy field surrounded the testing area on all sides, trapping the energy vampire where he stood--or, hovered, Carmen supposed. NOS-4-A2′s demeanor changed almost immediately, and he appeared quite furious with her as he clawed at the barrier, shouting...something, for sure.

Carmen smirked and made a show of not being able to hear him. “What? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you, it would seem that barrier’s--” she leaned forward until she was an inch from the barrier, and behind it, NOS-4-A2′s furious face. “Soundproof.”

Oh, that ticked him off. Carmen mockingly waved goodbye to him as she left her private lab and the door shut behind her. Maybe evil was the best next step for her life. She’d certainly had fun with that little moment, and she hadn’t exactly disagreed with him at all during their little chat.

...Oh, but that would have to wait. Suddenly, Carmen was feeling quite light-headed, and it felt worse than simply being tired from a night of extensive repairs. She suddenly lost her balance, and leaned against the wall for support. Her neck hurt. Badly. And she was developing a killer headache.

Carmen staggered towards her bedroom and practically fainted once she reached her bed. She remained awake just long enough to process that she was developing a fever, and then everything went black.

. . .

Carmen awoke much later the next day, at around the same time she’d first passed out. She didn’t feel much better, the headache and lightheadedness were still present. New, however, was the addition of a strange and powerful craving, one which she couldn’t quite name.

Carmen staggered back into the hallway, thinking she’d try and get some food and see if that helped anything. On her way to the cafeteria, however, she picked up an alluring, metallic scent. As if in a trance, she changed her course and headed into the room next to her, and reached into a fridge where she proceeded to grab quite a few of its contents, before making her way back to her room.

As she left, the fridge door slowly swung shut, revealing a label across the front that read, “FOR MEDICAL SAMPLE STORAGE ONLY”.

. . .

Carmen awoke with a start, convinced she’d had some sort of nightmare. She felt much better than she had the previous night, though something still felt off. 

Wait...what was the metallic taste in her mouth?

Carmen stood up from her bed and turned the light on. To her utter shock and horror, she found her bed sheets and herself covered in blood.

“What...” She stammered, pulling at her hair in disbelief. “How did--” She looked to the foot of her bed, and spotted a pile of empty bloodbags. She felt some relief, knowing at least that she wasn’t covered in her own blood or in the blood of someone who hadn’t given it willingly, but it wasn’t much of a relief. She had still apparently consumed the contents of over five different bloodbags as though they were juice pouches, after all. 

While she stood there dumbfounded, trying to figure out why she’d done that, she was interrupted by a sudden, very sharp pain in her upper jaw. It only got worse as she staggered towards her bathroom, and as she bent over the sink, she felt something come loose in her mouth. She spat, and out came her top two canine teeth and a lot of blood.

Carmen could only stare in horror. The pain had lessened to a dull residual sting, but when her tongue investigated the space where her top canines had been, they found instead something distinctly more metallic.

Carmen looked at herself in the mirror and let out a scream when she saw two small drills where her canine teeth should have been. As if that weren’t enough, she noticed then that her skin was ghastly pale and her irises had turned red. As she stood there, her hands gripping fistfuls of her own brunette hair, she heard a voice that was now quite familiar ring out.

Calm yourself, my pet~. There’s no need for despair.

“H-how in the galaxy did you get--” Carmen turned around, but saw nothing but the bloody bedroom she’d left. “Out?”

Regrettably, I’m still trapped in your laboratory. But it would seem the bite I accidentally gave you last night just before you brought me back online found a machine to infect, after all!

“What are you--” Carmen paused. “...My nanobots. But I didn’t think you’d--”

Apparently I’m able to transmit my obedience program even while offline! And in your special case, that gave me access to the control center of your nanobots! And now here I am, speaking to you directly through this wireless link we’ve developed between each other.

“...No. There is no way you’re inside my head!” Carmen cried, one hand reaching for the base of her skull, where her nanobots’ control center was located. “This is just another part of that nightmare! Get out right now and undo what you’ve done to me!”

Sorry, my dear, no can do. Even if for some reason I wanted to reverse the energy vampire curse, I simply couldn’t. There’s no method to undoing it whatsoever in my programming. Besides, you’re a woman of science, aren’t you? Isn’t this just fascinating? To think that a simple bite could completely transform a human such as yourself into an energy vampire, all thanks to the assistance of the nanobots in your blood--Sometimes I even impress myself.

Carmen gritted her teeth and tried to keep her breathing even. “You say that like this has never happened before. I don’t like not knowing what to expect!”

Well there was the curse of the Wirewolf, but that was different. This is something entirely new and exhilarating! You must come and release me now! I am the only one who can teach you how to survive as what you are now!

Before Carmen could respond, there was a knock at her door. For a brief moment, she considered telling her visitor what had happened and begging for help...

Carmen answered the door, and barely registered the shocked reaction of the mechanical janitor who greeted her. “Dr. Lugosi! What happened to you?! Are you alright?” He cried.

“...I’m just feeling a little under the weather,” Carmen bluffed poorly. “You should probably--” she broke off, that same powerful craving from before returning with a vengeance. She could practically feel herself drooling.

“...Are you sure? You’re covered in blood, super pale, and...um. Dr. Lugosi? Since when do you have metal fangs and red eyes?”

Carmen cast one look down the hallway, ensuring no one was watching. Then, as if on instinct, she grabbed the bot by his shoulders and threw him into her living quarters, shutting the door behind him. She pounced on him in the next moment, sinking her new fangs into his metal body.

Stars, it was better than anything she’d ever tasted before. Carmen drained energy from the hapless janitor as though she’d been starving, paying no heed to his pleas or attempts to free himself. Before long, he was a mere husk.

Carmen felt newfound power coursing through her veins. She wasn’t satisfied. She wanted more.

Intoxicating, isn’t it?

Carmen jumped as she heard NOS-4-A2′s voice within her mind once more. “You...you forced me to do that! You took over my body!”

Such an accusation! You wound me. Carmen, you should know even better than I that your nanobots don’t have the ability to control anything besides your pulse and the patching of your wounds. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Carmen hid her face in her hands, her heart pounding. She told herself to wake up.

You’re a whole new breed of monster, Carmen! Just imagine what you might be capable of now! You claimed you wanted to be a villain--you may never get a better chance. Release me, my dear, and I will take you under my wing...

Carmen took a deep breath, and shut her eyes. She felt her body relax. She opened her eyes, wiped servo-fluid from her lips with the back of her hand, and walked into her private lab.

She never took her eyes off of the energy vampire as she walked around to her desk and deactivated the barrier. She watched as he soared into the air, energy wings with an orange glow spread wide as he relished in his freedom. She felt a sort of ache in her chest. A desire to fly.

NOS-4-A2 approached her, his smile seeming almost inviting for once as he placed a silver claw beneath her chin. “Carmen, my pet, I’m so glad you decided to accept my offer! You had me worried for a moment when you trapped me, but I never should have doubted you. And now, you can do so much more than just repair my broken body...”

Carmen flashed him a smile that rivaled his own, and leaned towards his face, pressing a kiss upon cold metal. A small static-like spark passed between their lips. “Let me show you how much more~” she cooed, stroking the side of his face with one hand. 

He looked...confused for a moment, as though he hadn’t expected that. This confused Carmen. Had he...not actually been flirting with her that whole time? 

Finally, his smile returned, and he even went so far as to return the kiss, albeit a bit less naturally, as though he was only mimicking her and wasn’t really sure of what he was doing. “Hm, lovely...I think I could get used to that...” he mused.

“What’s our first order of business, NOS?” Carmen asked him, still smiling. “I’m eager to turn this galaxy to ashes. I’ve wanted this for years.”

“A wicked little thing, aren’t you?” he chuckled, petting her head with one clawed hand. “Get me to the control room. I’ll take it from there.”

There was another knock on Carmen’s door that interrupted the scheming pair. They shared a mischievous glance, and answered the door together.

Two robot workers stood at the door. “Dr. Lugosi, where have you--” the first began, before the second cut him off. “Th-the energy vampire!”

“Oh, you’ve heard of me?” NOS sneered.

“T-that’s impossible! You were destroyed on Planet Z!” the first cried.

“I think you’ll find he’s quite operational at the moment,” Carmen sneered back, making a conscious effort to match his tone.

“Yes, and might I personally thank the two of you?” added NOS.

“Thank us?” asked the second. “For what?” asked the first.

“For donating your bodies to science~”

. . .

Aboard Star Command cruiser 42, Ranger Mira Nova spoke up. “Um, guys? I’m picking up on a distress signal, here.”

The others not at the helm turned to look at her. “Give me the details, Mira,” said Ranger Buzz Lightyear.

“Well, it’s from a nearby research outpost, but I don’t have a clue what they’re distressed about. It cut off without any mention of what’s going on.”

“It could be Zurg,” suggested Ranger Booster Munchapper. “Ooh, or pirates! Or what if some alien they were researching broke out and started trying to eat everyone?”

“Booster, buddy, what did I tell you about those late-night horror movies?” said Ranger XR. “Now you’re giving me the jitters.”

“Well, whatever it is, we can handle it,” added Ranger Rachel Sparks. “We always do.”

“Right you are, Ranger Sparks,” replied Buzz. “Look alive, everyone. We’re answering that call!”

. . .

As the cruiser docked at the outpost, it seemed odd that there was no apparent sign of invasion.

“Stay frosty, Rookies,” Buzz told the team. “There’s no telling what could be inside that outpost.”

As the team cautiously filed in, XR spoke quietly to Rachel, who as usual kept close to him. “Not to jinx ourselves, but man, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to know that at least there’s one guy it couldn’t possibly be!”

Rachel nodded. “You said it. Good riddance.” She shuddered at the thought. “Never thought I’d be so relieved to hear about a robot getting blown to pieces.” Better him than you, she added to herself.

At first, the hallways were surprisingly spotless. There wasn’t even a sign of struggle until they rounded a corner into the living areas. Every door was firmly locked, but there were a few...scratches on some of the doors. That seemed to imply Booster may have been right on the money with his suggestion of an alien monster gone rogue. 

“It’s quiet,” Buzz mused, warily scanning the team’s surroundings. “Too quiet.”

“Maybe we’re too late!” Booster cried.

“Hm...” Mira poked her head through one of the locked doors, and the team could hear muffled screams from the other side.

“Easy, guys, it’s okay!” Mira called to the huddled workers, both organic and mechanical. “My name is Ranger Mira Nova, I’m here with my friends to save you. Can any of you tell me what’s going on, here?”

They all exchanged a look with one another, and one of the robot workers furiously shook her head. “My pal always said it was bad luck to talk about it--and now look at him!”

“O-kay, well, I have to get back to the mission, but you guys just sit tight until we’ve handled the situation, okay?” Mira told them, before rejoining her teammates on the other side of the door. “I think everyone’s just hiding. They seemed pretty freaked out about something, but they wouldn’t tell me about it.”

“I’ve seen it all before,” Buzz remarked. “People so spooked by what they’ve witnessed they won’t even talk about it. Well, we’re getting to the bottom of this no matter what. Those researchers can’t conduct vital research while they’re being forced into their hidey holes like gophers.”

“Unconventional metaphor, but I’ll take it,” XR muttered.

“Simile,” corrected Rachel.

“What?” XR turned to her.

“Buzz said ‘like’, so it’s a simile, not a metaphor.”

“...Y’know, Rach, your superior grammar skills are nice behind a desk but can we not do this right now?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Felt like the air needed a little tension-clearing, anyway.”

As the team neared the control room, they stumbled upon something rather grim. A robot was lying face down on the floor, motionless and seemingly offline. “Guess that’s the ‘pal’ that one robot I talked to mentioned,” Mira said. “Poor guy.”

“Uh...are those...?” XR spoke up, having a better angle to observe the victim from with his short stature. He was pointing to two apparent punctures on the bot’s side.

“It can’t be!” Rachel cried. “I saw the photos in the case file! There isn’t a mechanic in the galaxy that could’ve--or would’ve--fixed that much damage!”

“Could be a copycat,” Buzz suggested.

“Who in the galaxy would want to copy that nutcase?!” Mira exclaimed. “No, seriously, who? I want a word with them,” she added, scowling and miming as though she were threateningly rolling up her sleeve.

“You’d be surprised what the depraved depths of the criminal mind are capable of...” Buzz replied.

Rachel gasped, and pointed straight ahead of them. “There’s someone in the control room!”

“Good eye, Rachel,” Buzz responded, as the team hurried in to reach the victim, slumped over in her chair at the control panel.

Rachel knelt down to inspect the researcher, brushing locks of frazzled brunette hair from her face. When she did so, the researcher grimaced and slowly came to. She seemed frightened by Rachel’s presence, so the blonde ranger tried to soothe her. “Easy, we’re here to help,” Rachel tried to reassure her. “Can you tell us what happened here? What’s your name?”

“C-carmen...” the brunette murmured through shaky breaths. “Oh, it was awful! They came from nowhere and attacked us all!” She cried, pulling at her hair, her glasses askew.

“Zurg?” Buzz inquired.

Carmen shook her head. “I’m not sure...I don’t remember seeing Hornets...”

From his lower position, XR noticed a layer of gauze wrapped around the researcher’s neck. It was bloody on the left side. “Say, what happened to your neck, Carmen? Must’ve been before the attack, if you had time to patch yourself up.”

Carmen’s eyes went wide, and shot him a look that seemed perhaps...angered? Wait, they looked red for a moment. Carmen grabbed Rachel’s face and pulled her closer. “You need to get out of here! You’re in terrible danger!”

“Greetings, Team Lightyear~,” called an unpleasantly familiar voice from behind them. “I do hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me,” XR muttered, disbelief etched onto his face. He reluctantly turned around, and upon seeing the energy vampire not only online but in one piece, he ducked behind Rachel.

“NOS-4-A2!” Buzz confronted the returned villain. “How’d you do it? How are you back in one piece after Ty took you out on Planet Z?!”

“Yes, your memories do not deceive you, I was indeed tragically reduced to scrap by a vengeful Ranger Parsec,” NOS-4-A2 lamented, faking a sorrowful expression before his usual smug smile returned. “Luckily for me, a certain generous technician saw fit to restore me to my former glory.”

“And just who is this ‘generous technician’?” Buzz demanded.

The energy vampire appeared disappointed. “Oh, come now, you can’t honestly be that stupid.”

“Mira! She looks hungry!” XR cried, giving Mira just enough time to turn and see Carmen lunging for her, and ghost through the faux damsel-in-distress. Carmen landed on the floor with a solid thud, and slowly sat up, rubbing her jaw and glaring at the Ranger. “No fair, my gums are still sore, you know!” she whined.

“The damsel-in-distress trap!” Buzz remarked. “Oldest trick in the book, and we fell for it!”

NOS-4-A2 chuckled to himself. “Yes, quite the charming little actress, isn’t she?” he cooed. “Carmen, meet my most hated nemeses. My most hated nemeses, meet Carmen.”

“But...she’s not a robot!” Booster cried. “...Is she?”

“Think it could be the curse of the Wirewolf again?” Mira proposed.

“Couldn’t be, every trace of the Canis Lunis moon was destroyed!” Buzz insisted.

“It would seem our little damsel here is a cyborg!” NOS gloated, laughing to himself once again. “I’ve installed my obedience program into the medical nanobots in her blood. The effect was...quite fascinating.”

Carmen smiled wide, showing off a pair of small metal drills identical to the energy vampire’s own fangs. She seemed quite proud of herself.

“’Scuse me, hate to interrupt, but--why are we talking with the vampire creeps when we should be BLASTING THEM?!” XR butted in. 

“Good call, XR!” Buzz replied, firing his wrist laser at the energy vampire.

NOS-4-A2 quickly darted to the side and evaded the blast. He extended a hand towards the control panel, and zapped it, causing hundreds of wires to snake out and strike at the Rangers. “Carmen, my pet, don’t disappoint me, now!” He called to the researcher, before diving towards Buzz with a ferocious screech.

Carmen dusted herself off, and leapt to her feet, eagerly running towards the team. She singled out the blonde human Ranger, Rachel, and grabbed her from behind, tossing her away from the rest of her group. For a moment, she marveled at her newfound strength. She felt certain she wouldn’t have been able to do that before.

Rachel caught herself just before falling, and turned quickly to face the faux damsel. “Carmen...You don’t have to do this,” she tried to reason with her, thinking perhaps she was merely a victim under the villain’s control. “I’ve been controlled by him before...Actually, most of us have, besides Buzz. I know it’s scary, but we can help you. There’s still a way out for you, but you have to surrender!”

Carmen resumed the meek expression she’d had before, when she’d been playing the role of victim. “You really want to help me?” she said in a small voice, before lunging towards the Ranger. “THEN STAY OUT OF OUR WAY!”

In a flash, the two were locked in a stalemate, their hands pressed against each other, Rachel trying to fend her off while Carmen tried to break through her defense. Carmen’s fangs were bared, and truthfully, she didn’t seem conflicted about what she was doing at all. Perhaps Rachel had misjudged her.

Rachel raised her leg and kicked Carmen in the gut, knocking her down. She acted quickly before the researcher could recover, and leapt onto her, flipping her around and pinning her hands behind her back. Carmen’s fighting style was undisciplined, unrefined. The moves she made were the kinds of moves someone with no combat training would make out of desperation or anger. This too, leaned towards Carmen being in control of her own actions. NOS-4-A2 was a much better fighter than this.

“You don’t really know what you’re doing, do you?” Rachel remarked, still holding Carmen back as she struggled. “You know, if you’re doing this willingly, it just means you’re gonna wind up in a cell! Why would you ever want to side with someone like NOS-4-A2?!”

“Why--wouldn’t I?!” Carmen snapped back. “I’m not some hapless victim! I thought I made that clear! I have my own ambitions! I want to be horrible! And now I’ve finally got the chance!” She threw her head back suddenly, knocking it against Rachel’s and stunning the both of them. 

Rachel lost her grip on Carmen and the brunette broke free, shaking herself off quickly and turning back onto the Ranger. Carmen sank her fangs into Rachel’s suit before she could react, and though she tried to throw her off, Carmen’s grip held surprisingly firm. She didn’t look that strong, so perhaps the energy vampire curse had imbued her with impressive strength. Perhaps she’d already been feeding well before the Rangers arrived.

Carmen turned her attention next to Rachel’s neck, which through her fear, struck Rachel as odd. But she wouldn’t have time to ponder it now. Just before Carmen could sink her fangs in, the sound of a laser blast rang out and she hissed sharply as though in pain.

“Alright, Vampira, that’s enough!” XR cried, racing towards Rachel’s rescue. “Rachel is off the menu!”

“XR, be careful!” Rachel called out, as Carmen forgot about her and pounced onto the pint-sized robot. The two wrestled for a moment, XR managing to keep her from biting him as he tried to get the upper hand against the rogue researcher. 

Carmen grabbed his arm, still trying to get her fangs into him as he tried to pull it back. In the confusion, she accidentally caused his blaster to fire, and she quickly recoiled with a shriek, falling to the side and clutching at her abdomen.

XR got up and grimaced at the damage she’d unwittingly done to her self, but quickly scooted past her and went to help Rachel. “You okay, Rach?” he inquired, genuinely quite concerned for the welfare of his much squishier teammate. She was his partner in more ways than one, after all.

“I’m fine,” Rachel replied with a reassuring smile. “She drained my suit, but she didn’t hurt me, thanks to you.” She sat up with his help. “She didn’t hurt you, did she?”

“She did worse to herself,” he replied, gesturing to the writhing form of Carmen, curled up on the floor a little ways away. XR tsked. “See, now that’s why you don’t play with firearms.”

“...We should help her.” Rachel said.

“Are you kidding?!” XR cried. “She almost made a meal out of us!”

“We’re also supposed to protect sentient beings,” Rachel reminded him. “And that means bringing criminals back alive unless we have no other choice.”

XR sighed. “Well, when you’re right, you’re right. But if this comes back to haunt us, I owe you a big fat ‘I told you so’!”

Rachel slipped out of her depowered suit and approached the wounded wannabe-villain with XR at her side. “So much for them working together,” Rachel scoffed, watching as NOS-4-A2 continued to fight with the rest of the team, seemingly not even having noticed what had happened to Carmen. “He doesn’t even care!”

“...And this surprises you how?” XR remarked, as they both took to looking over Carmen’s injuries. “You know not everybody can have a love like ours, we should both consider ourselves lucky that neither of us are murderous wackjobs. Anyway, Carmen, you be a good patient for Nurse XR, here, and that means no biting!”

Carmen shoved him away, hissing, and started dragging herself closer to the wires that were attacking the other Rangers. She reached out towards them with one shaking hand, and an agonized scream tore its way out of her mouth. A few sparks emerged from her outstretched hand and struck the closest cluster of wires. They froze mid-attack, and changed course, turning around and wrapping around the wounded Carmen until they’d fully cocooned her.

XR and Rachel merely stood there, slack-jawed in shock. “I want it on record that I did not cause that!” XR said.

. . .

Rangers Mira and Booster were still quite occupied with the rogue control panel, meanwhile NOS-4-A2 had managed to get Buzz at his mercy. “One less hero in the galaxy, one step closer to revenge!” the robot cackled. He reared back for a truly powerful strike, fangs bared for the kill--

Carmen let out a truly primal, agonized scream.

And he froze mid-strike. “Carmen!” Turning to look where the scream had come from, he saw her swallowed up by wires. “No! You can’t fix me if you die! And I barely got to see you use your new power!”

Buzz quickly turned the tables while he was distracted, pinning him to the ground. “Mira! The hostage!” Buzz called out to her.

“On it!” Mira called back, ghosting past the wires to reach Carmen.

NOS thrashed, trying to throw Buzz off of him, but the Ranger held firm. “She’s--not--a hostage!” he snarled, spitting an energy beam at the Ranger’s face. Buzz leapt back, releasing his grip on NOS, and the energy vampire wasted no time in darting towards Carmen, knocking Mira aside along the way.

He tore at the wires imprisoning Carmen, not even caring to just make them retreat. Something blasted the wires away from within, knocking him back as well. Sitting back up, he watched, awestruck, as a figure covered in gleaming silver emerged from the wire cocoon, scarlet energy wings outstretched. She turned her shining red eyes towards him, and NOS heard Carmen’s voice inside his own head.

Thank you.

The figure swayed, then fell to the ground. NOS got up and darted over to her, gripping her shoulders.

“Freeze,” commanded Buzz, who sounded unbearably triumphant. “There’s nowhere to run.”

Looking up from his unconscious henchwoman, it would seem the Ranger was right. Somehow the rest of the team had closed in on him while he’d been distracted, and they were all poised to fire.

“You--insolent pests!” NOS-4-A2 hissed. “I’ve had enough of your interference!” 

In the next instant, the control panel exploded, creating a suitable cover for his escape. He’d had his wings outstretched, using the force of the blast to rocket down the hallway faster than any of them could have followed him, with Carmen’s newly transformed body in tow.

. . .

The Rangers regrouped as the smoke cleared, while XR worked on extinguishing the fires. 

“How’s the damage?” Buzz called to Rachel, who was standing over the remains of the control panel.

“I’ll be honest, it doesn’t look good, but there’s no immediate danger,” Rachel announced. “We should be able to wait for the rescue shuttles to pick up the survivors.”

“Well, that’s some good news...” Buzz replied. “But NOS-4-A2 is probably halfway to--wherever he’s going--by now.” 

“Yeah, and I really doubt this place’s insurance covers energy vampire attacks,” XR added. 

“I want the four of you to go round up the survivors. Don’t let any out of your sight,” commanded Buzz. “I’ll get Commander Nebula on the phone. He’s not gonna like this.”

The rest of the Rangers left the control room and began gathering survivors as ordered. Thankfully, there’d been very few robotic casualties and no organic casualties, though a few workers were found wounded. 

“I can’t believe this,” Rachel said to XR as the team conducted their search and rescue operation. “We were both so sure it was over, and now there’s--”

“Two of them.” XR finished her statement nervously. “Guess it’s back to memorizing all the best hiding vents for me. I mean, what did I ever do to deserve this kind of luck from the universe?”

“Nothing,” Rachel replied, taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze, though she knew he didn’t really feel that. “This isn’t your fault or really anyone’s, besides...that crazy researcher. You know she actually told me she wanted to be a villain? Of all the role models for that she could have picked, it had to be him!”

“How does a creep like that even end up with a girlfriend?” XR snapped. “I had to work for mine! He doesn’t get to just charm some aspiring villain nutcase!”

“Well, we’ve all made questionable choices in love,” Mira spoke up. “Of course, of course mine actually, y’know, changed his mind about evil, at least.”

“Maybe he just needed love, and now that he’s got it, he’ll stop being evil?” Booster suggested hopefully.

Rachel scoffed. “Yeah. Sure. That I’d like to see.” She sighed. “Well, whatever happens next, I know I’m not letting either of them get anywhere near XR.”

“Y’know, I could say the same for you, Rach,” XR added. “That ‘Carmen’ chick was really gunning for your neck back there.”

“Y’know that’s...weird,” Mira spoke up. “I could’ve sworn NOS-4-A2 hated the taste of blood. Why would she be any different?”

“Doesn’t blood have iron in it?” Booster said. “Maybe those nanobots of hers were using blood as a source of iron so they could build those new metal parts?”

“Huh...that actually makes a lot of sense,” Mira replied. “They’d need to make their own metal, since she’s not a robot. How about that?”

. . .

Stars drifted past as the stolen vessel beat a hasty retreat from the outpost. NOS-4-A2 regarded them with disinterest, scowling slightly. “Well...that certainly could have gone better,” he remarked to himself. An understatement if ever there was one.

Turning his attention back to his still-unconscious henchwoman, he regarded her new metallic form with great interest. “You fared better than I’d expected...but you’ve still got quite a lot to learn.” He remarked, lifting her head slightly with a hand beneath her chin. “About that name of yours...Carmen just isn’t befitting of a villain. Not one that could stand beside me, anyway. You’ll need a new name to go along with your new body...”

He thought for a moment, until a perfect idea came to him. Smiling, he addressed her by her new name. “Carmilla...” he chuckled. “Yes, how lovely...may you rise from your slumber soon, my pet...we have a galaxy to burn.”

[the-13th-rose]

Acrostic ask game for Jake and NOS4A2?? 👀👀

Acrostic f/o ask game

Lol this one's gonna be long but thanks for asking! Under the cut for the sake of all the dashes I'm gonna show up on

R - Rainbow - What colors do you associate with them and why?

Mostly earthy tones because that's his color palette. Shades of brown, sand color, black, and the hellfire orange of his eyes.

A - Art - Do they draw or paint? What about any other kind of art? What's their favorite style/subject/another artist who inspires them?

He's not really interested in art but he does sometimes take a moment to look at the natural beauty of the desert when he's got the time. And when nobody who's gonna try and call him a sissy for looking at flowers or the sunset is around.

T - Teach - What skills of theirs would they teach you? What would you teach them?

First thing that comes to mind is marksmanship but honestly I know I'd be too spooked to learn. But hey, maybe he could give me encouragement and all that and I wouldn't be so freaked out. I don't know if I have anything to teach him, unless infodumping about cool animal facts counts

T

L - Language - What's their love language? What's yours?

I haven't really thought about what my love language is. I mean, I know I really like cuddling and get clingy when I feel lovey. Maybe also just going "hey I saw this and it made me think of you". Jake I think is definitely a cuddler too when it comes to loved ones and he's very much a pet-names and sweet lil words kind of guy I think. Also the type to threaten the hell out of anyone who crosses me.

E - Emotion - Is your f/o open with their feelings or do they keep them close to their chest?

Jake is definitely not open with his feelings. He's got a reputation to uphold and can't have folks thinking he's soft. Usually the most emotion I'll get out of him is when he's alone with me (that's prime snuggle bug time) or if something spooks him (ie; a hawk).

S - Story - If you and them were in a fairytale, which story would you be and who would play which character?

So when it comes to fairytale connection with Jake I always think of the Princess and the Frog. Kiss a rattlesnake and he turns into a dashing outlaw. Or kiss a rattlesnake and turn into a desert critter also, if we're going on the Disney version. My Rango s/i is a jackalope but if I were to literally translate myself into the universe I'd be a horned lizard I think. Same species as Waffles who is like. My favorite posse character. Priscilla's my other favorite secondary character (and we would have totally adopted her if I weren't like 100% positive Rango and Beans already have custody of her after the credits roll). Anyway I forsee Jake as a handsome outlaw who gets cursed into the form of a rattlesnake and in trying to break the curse with a kiss, I get turned into a horned lizard and then we both have to figure out how to undo the curse.

N - Nostalgia - What's your f/o's favorite memory?

Running with his old gang from his younger days. Six-Prong Lucy the jackalope, Quillface the bobcat, Pancho the scorpion, and Red Felicity the vampire bat.

A

K - Kiss - Give us any kiss headcanon you want. Description, reason, location, who initiates it, etc.

In his snake form, I kiss him on the snout or forehead. In naga form I like to kiss him on the cheek. In either form he can give me snake kisses, which is just flicking his tongue against my cheek or nose. They tickle a little 🤗

E

J - Jewelry - Do they wear any? What kind? (Or what would they wear if they ever started?)

Idk if bandoliers count or the rattle-gun prosthetic he wears. In naga form I could see him wearing one of those rattlesnake-shaped leather and brass belts I've seen on Etsy. Not that he needs one because nagas don't have legs so they can't wear pants, but that would make it purely ornamental as in jewelry. There's also what looks to be a ring of barbed wire on his hat.

A

K

E

N - I'm gonna be sweet and say the first time we watched a horror movie together. I was hyped because it was one of my favorites and he was just admiring the smile I get when I'm enjoying something I love.

O - Online - What is your f/o's social media presence like, or what would it be like if they had internet in their world/era?

Honestly? He's the jerk who'll smugly correct your grammar while you argue with him and act like he's won because you misspelled a word or used the wrong "your".

S - I'm actually not sure about this one. Maybe like an evil Cinderella, since his story with my s/i Carmilla is kind of a rags-to-riches story in the manner of being taken from mundane daily life to the fantastical life of a supervillain.

4

A - He actually takes a lot of interest in my writing and in horror literature in general. I don't think he wants to try his hand at it but he's interested in what other people make.

2

[the-13th-rose]

Sometimes I have romantic thoughts about living with NOS-4-A2.

And other times I just imagine him being like an unruly and mischievous pet

"A 62 PACK OF DOUBLE A BATTERIES. AN ENTIRE FUCKING PACK OF THEM AND THEY'RE ALL DEAD NOW. LITERALLY NOT AN OUNCE OF CHARGE LEFT IN ANY OF THEM. I JUST FUCKING BOUGHT THOSE YOU HUNGRY MOTHERFUCKER"

I come home and he's got my phone in his mouth and I'm just like "NO SPIT THAT OUT" and the mf just [starts draining it faster]

"alright, since you think it's acceptable to drain my laptop before I save the essay I was writing, YOU'RE GONNA WRITE IT FOR ME."

Marital bliss with robot vampire husband yes but also even as his WIFE I am not exempt from his moments of bastardism!

I need to provide enrichment for him or he starts going feral

See also me just being like "awww did that help? Do you feel better?" After watching him completely mangle a chew toy.

And he's just [politely cleans his face and nods]

I take him out to stretch his wings a bit in the middle of the night and the thought "walkies" occurs to me and I have to stop myself from asking him "Did you have fun, buddy?" because no he's not a dog! But yes he did have fun.

NOS-4-A2: I AM ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED VILLAINS IN THE UNIVERSE!

also NOS-4-A2: [gets sad when I don't let him follow me somewhere and tears up the house if left home alone too long]

NOS-4-A2 domestication arc

[the-13th-rose]

I remembered this post and just. Had to do something with Carmen and NOS

[the-13th-rose]

Yeah.