I was no pressure tagged by the incredible @siderealdei for the "10 People I'd Like to Get to Know Better" game! thank you so so much!
Last Song: "Hold Me Like a Grudge" - Fall Out Boy
Fav color: yellow!!! 💛
Last book: Oh gosh it has been upsettingly long since I read a book... I'm honestly not 100% sure 🙃
Last movie: K
Last tv show: Literally have Below Deck: Med on in the background right now!
Sweet/spicy/savory: savory!! I used to say sweet but I haven't been able to handle sweetness as much lately
Relationship status: just had my 1 year wedding anniversary ~
Last thing googled: "romanoff or romanov" (was trying to standardize a tag on the audiofic archive lol)
Looking forward to: it's a while off but I get my top surgery this year! more timely will be my jason todd cosplay being finished ~
Current obsession: always on my Batfamily bullshit, of course. but also obsessed with bad reality tv again, something my partner and i binge together in bursts before we get tired of it
No pressure tagging a few folks (not 10) that I recently connected with via fandom!! (and follow from my main blog lol) @lordsmeldingtonthethird @safelycapricious @bittercape @schildmehdchen @carcrash429
(like seriously no pressure I just like doing little things like this!)
i really don't do studies as often as i should so here's a semi-realistic piece i did for practice. the face shape, eyebrows, and the perspective really stand out to me as wrong, but i'm happy with the outcome as a standalone piece overall
a/n: i have nothing to say for myself blame lacett it's her fault somehow it always is
warnings: uh. explicit doin' the do and language and this is really ridiculous i'm sorry but i'm not
--
Kagami knows he should be worried the moment he sees the blindfold in Kise’s hands.
“Kagamicchi,” Kise says, putting on his most suggestive face.
“No.”
The suggestive leer falls away to a pout. “You didn’t even let me say anything!”
“I’m saving you the trouble because whatever it is, if it involves that,” Kagami says, pointing at the black strip of cloth, “the answer is no.” He looks back down at his 3DS and resumes his Pokémon battle. Aomine’s cheek presses into his shoulder as he watches him play.
For a moment, Kise is silent, standing in the entrance of the bedroom. Then he says, “Aominecchi.”
Aomine grunts.
“I want to try something a little freakier tonight,” Kise says, all sultry and like he’s rehearsed it at least a few times. “Can I blindfold you?”
“Don’t do it,” Kagami warns, but Aomine just says, “Blindfolding is the least of the freakiest things you’ve done to me.”
“That’s not all I’m going to do,” Kise promises. His tone immediately shifts as he asks, “So, you’ll let me?”
“Sure,” Aomine says. “I’m down.”
“Aren’t you going to ask what he’s going to do?” Kagami demands, closing his 3DS as Kise bounds over to the bed and tugs Aomine by the arm until he sits up.
“But I don’t care,” Aomine says.
Trust Kagami to get into a relationship with the two kinkiest people in Japan. Kise the adventurous. Aomine the willing-to-go-along-with-anything. Well. Almost anything. “Even if it involves fisting?”
Aomine pauses, and Kise casually goes about wrapping the blindfold around his head.
“It doesn’t involve fisting, right?” Aomine asks.
“No,” Kise says. “But if you want to--”
“NO,” Aomine and Kagami say simultaneously, and Kagami is so, so thankful Aomine is at least on his side about this.
“This is the thanks I get for blowing your minds,” Kise says, tightening the knot in the blindfold. “You guys are so mean to me.”
“Ask me again after you ‘blow my mind,’” Aomine says.
Kagami has never felt so scared in his life. Kise looks way too excited.
“The answer will still be no,” Aomine finishes.
“Oh, thank God,” Kagami mutters as Kise’s face falls.
“So mean!” Kise repeats.
“I’m letting you do this, aren’t I?” Aomine asks. “So get on with it.”
Kagami is a little morbidly curious about what Kise is so eager to try and what could be so bad if it only involves blindfolding Aomine, so he puts his DS on the nightstand and watches. Besides, even if Kagami’s not personally into all the kinky shit his boyfriends get up to, he can usually still get off watching them.
“I have to get something real quick!” Kise says.
So there’s another prop after all, Kagami thinks as Kise disappears out the bedroom. “Why can’t we have vanilla sex more often?”
Aomine lies down, feeling for the headboard with his hands so he doesn’t bump his head. “Kise tried with you that one time, you told him to stop.”
Kagami stares at him. “You mean the time Kise perfect copied how I have sex and even imitated my voice? That wasn’t vanilla, that was just creepy!”
“Having sex with myself was pretty awesome,” Aomine says, sounding like he’s reminiscing on a fond old memory and not a strange sex experience from a few weeks ago.
“I’m back!” Kise announces, breezing back into the room holding a--
“Why do you have a--”
“Ssshhh!” Kise hisses, putting a finger to his mouth. “Aominecchi can’t know! That’s why he’s wearing a blindfold. It’s part of the technique.”
“But it’s a--”
“Kagamicchi, if you can’t keep quiet, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the room.”
Kagami almost considers leaving the room anyway, because he’s not sure he wants to see what Kise is about to do with the grapefruit in his hands that happens to have a dick-sized hole in it. An Aomine’s dick-sized hole, to be precise.
“Oi, what’s going on?” Aomine asks. “Are we going to have sex or not?”
“Yes!” Kise says, setting the grapefruit down on the bed in front of Kagami. He leans close to whisper into Kagami’s ear, “I saw this on a video on YouTube. It’s gonna blow his mind.”
“It’s a fucking grapefruit, are you going to stick that on his dick?” Kagami hisses back.
“Wait and see,” Kise says, which means, Yes, I am going to stick this grapefruit on my boyfriend’s dick.
Kise moves to Aomine now, and tugs his sweatpants and boxers down.
“Kagamicchi is watching us,” Kise says. “Does that turn you on?”
“Not as much as your mouth on my dick will,” Aomine replies.
“Impatient,” Kise chides, but he takes Aomine in his mouth anyway.
Aomine lets out a soft moan and Kagami slips his hand inside his boxers as he watches the way Kise’s head bobs up and down, the way his cheeks hollow as he sucks. Kise might be into a lot of kinky stuff Kagami doesn’t care about, but he does give amazing blowjobs. The fact that he has no gag reflex probably helps.
Aomine’s fingers tangle in Kise’s hair as he starts guiding his head, but moments later, Kise pushes his arm away and takes his mouth off, sitting up on the bed on his knees.
“Oi, come back,” Aomine says, but Kise ignores him, snatching up the grapefruit.
Shit, Kagami had forgotten about that.
Next thing he knows, Kise has the grapefruit around Aomine’s dick, and he’s twisting it up and down the length of it while simultaneously sucking his dick.
“What the fuck,” Kagami says.
“Oh, holy fuck,” Aomine gasps, one hand back in Kise’s hair, the other clenched in the sheets. His legs spread further apart.
Kagami’s dick is limp in his hand. This is unbelievable.
“Kise, holy shit, holy shit--”
Aomine’s breaths are coming out short and fast, hitching every time he tries to say something, which is most of the time, because Aomine is pretty vocal in bed. Maybe if Kagami closes his eyes, he can still jack off to the noises he’s making.
He tries for three seconds, then realizes that the image of Kise twisting a grapefruit up and down Aomine’s dick has been permanently burned into his mind. Maybe he’ll never get a hard-on again.
Kagami wishes he could look away, but it’s like driving past a car accident on the road: He can’t help but stare at the horrific sight in front of him with some kind of twisted fascination. He can’t help but wonder, what must that feel like for Aomine to be squirming like that?
Wait, no. Nope. There’s no way Kagami is ever consenting to Kise sticking a grapefruit on his dick. That is something that is never happening ever. Jesus.
“Ohh, Jesus,” Aomine moans, and then he’s coming into Kise’s mouth.
Kagami is still not aroused. He can’t get over the grapefruit.
“Okay,” Aomine stutters when he’s spent and Kise is wiping come from the corner of his mouth. “You were right. That was pretty mindblowing. What the hell were you doing?”
Oh, no.
“Don’t tell him--” Kagami starts.
Kise unties the blindfold in a swift, practiced motion. “See for yourself, Aominecchi!”
“No, Aomine, don’t,” Kagami says, wondering how he can save Aomine from the mental scarring he’s about to experience.
Aomine cranes his neck and stares at the grapefruit Kise is now holding up.
“You mean,” Aomine says slowly, “I could have been fucking a grapefruit all these years?”
“What the fuck kind of reaction is that,” Kagami says.
“That’s exactly how the video said he would react!” Kise says smugly. “Actually, he was supposed to take the blindfold off before he came, but I got a little caught up in it. Which reminds me--” He looks at Kagami. “Do you need help finishing off, Kagamicchi?”
“Huh?” Kagami realizes his hand is still down his pants. “There’s nothing to finish,” he says. “My dick is dead, probably forever. I’ve never seen a worse boner killer.”
Aomine, still lying down, rolls his shoulders in a slow shrug. “Felt good. Y’should try it.”
“Never,” Kagami says vehemently.
“It’s your loss,” Kise says, unbuttoning his pants. “You should at least help me finish, then.”
“Why would I do that after witnessing--that.”
Kise shrugs. “Voyeur’s fee?”
“Hell no,” Kagami says. “Get Aomine to do it.”
“Still recovering from the--” Aomine waves his hand. “Grapefruit blowjob.”
“We’re not calling it that,” Kagami says. “This isn’t going to be a thing.”
“Well, if neither of you are going to help me,” Kise says. “Guess I’ll just sit here and fist myself--”
“Shut the hell your mouth,” Kagami says.
“Fuck, just get over here,” Aomine says. “I’ll suck your stupid dick.”
“Kuro isn’t stupid,” Kise says.
“There’s something incredibly creepy about you naming your dick after Kuroko,” Kagami says.
“Well,” Kise says petulantly, “at least I wasn’t self-centered enough to name it after myself, like Aominecchi.”
“Hey, naming my dick Big Aomine isn’t self-centered. It’s accurate.”
“I’m leaving, and I’m taking Pokémon with me,” Kagami says, grabbing his 3DS. “Goodbye.”
As he goes into living room he hears Aomine say loudly, “Hey, Tetsu, listen to what Kise just did--”
“I thought you were going to suck me off!” Kise complains, just as loudly.
Kagami cringes and starts planning a batch of apology cookies for their neighbors.
“Tetsu--oi! He hung up on me!”
Kagami quickly dials Kuroko on his own phone.
“Kuroko, please save me,” he says.
“As long as you don’t talk about whatever Kise-kun just did.”
“Deal,” Kagami says. “I’d like to forget it ever happened.”
“Maji Burger, fifteen minutes?”
“Yes. You’re a lifesaver.”
Kuroko hangs up, and Kagami glances back at the bedroom. No--if he tells them where he’s going, they’re going to want to tag along to see Kuroko, too, and then it’ll be Kuroko fourth wheeling them and Kise and Aomine trying to tell Kuroko about the whole grapefruit thing. Kuroko doesn’t deserve that, so Kagami leaves without saying anything.
-
“How did this happen to me?” Kagami wonders as he bites into his fifth burger. Sitting across from him, Kuroko sips on his vanilla milkshake. “How did I get stuck with them?”
“You chose them,” Kuroko points out.
“Does this count as stress eating?” Kagami asks. He feels like he’s stressfully eating, anyway. “Have I been driven to stress eating?”
Kuroko looks at the pile of unopened burgers still on his tray. “That’s as much as you normally eat.”
“Oh, okay.” Kagami stares glumly at his burger. “Do you want to go shoot hoops after this?”
“How long are you going to avoid going back tonight?” Kuroko asks.
“Well, the plan was to spend a while on the court, and then I’d be like, ‘It’s really late and your place is closer, can I crash?’”
“Just how traumatized were you?” Kuroko asks. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“I don’t talk about it, I know the deal,” Kagami says. “So, can I crash?”
“Sure, but if Kise-kun or Aomine-kun ask me where you are, I’m not going to lie.”
“Fine,” Kagami concedes. That’s fine. He isn’t planning to hide from them forever. He just can’t look them in the face in bed for a while. Maybe he can exile both of them to the couch. He can threaten to withhold food.
Food. Grapefruits. Jesus fucking Christ.
Kagami will never be able to have sex again. Well, he’ll never be able to get a blowjob again. Or eat a grapefruit. He should resign himself to this fate now. He should move in with Kuroko. He hasn’t betrayed Kagami yet, except for when he sets Nigou on him.
“What if we were roommates?” he asks Kuroko.
“No,” Kuroko says.
“Damn.”
“I put you up when you ask. That’s good enough,” Kuroko says. “Anyway, let’s not go to the court tonight.”
“Aw, why not?” Kagami asks.
“Well, I don’t want to stay out too late. If you’re staying over, you might as well cook something for me.”
“Hey,” Kagami says. “I’m feeling a little used here.”
“You could go back home if you wanted.”
“I’ll cook you whatever you want!” Kagami blurts.
Kuroko gets a glint in his eye, and Kagami knows he’s fucked.
He can’t trust anyone.
--
a/n: if you haven't seen the grapefruit technique video, watch it. or maybe not. ur call.
